Run
#1776 Monday 7th January from the Rising Sun at Woodland. Hares Roxanne
& Erection ably assisted by Manopause and Wet Johnny.
Paraprick
nosed into the Wellington's spacious car park and found a prime space
quite easily. Closer inspection revealed a total absence of hashers'
chariots and Paraprick checked his watch. A few minutes later and the
awful truth sank in. Whatamistakatomaka - though it was a fairly late
call by the hares, it was advertised well on FB and website so everyone
please make sure you check the venue on the day just in case.
Meanwhile,
far away in the land of the Rising Sun*, the jostling for spaces in the
car park was apparent even as I approached. The Rising Sun, oh Fukarwi
and I remembered it well.. A fleeting decade ago, I had quite easily
managed to get us lost in the Woodford depression and we had spent a
merry hour or so running back and forth in the lanes trying to find our
way home - oh happy days.
I'm rambling again, why didn't you stop me? Back to the action...
The
first hash of a brand new year and the usual suspects were flocking
together into their crony groups. Manpig, Fukarwi, 69, Bobby, Wigwam,
Soapy, Melon Picker, Doris, Piltdown, Teapot, Winfield, SatNav,
Coldtits, returnees Fishbait and Knotty, Beefy, Rise N Shine, Mateus
Rose, Piddler, Going Down, SM Ellie, the Park crew of Shitfaced, T
Humper, Slobbadog and of course the Ipplepenners and hare hosts Roxanne
and Erection with supporting Manopause and Wet Johnny plus Will (unnamed
for now) and my good self named thirty of the thirty two at the circle I
could see. Not sure if Slip on Me was at the circle but she joined us
in the pub.
Doris
called for February hares and after the usual raucous repartee, the
hares were summoned, fronted by Roxanne. The finer points I missed but
did remember that the marks were laid on the right before we embarked on
the new adventure.
Young
bloods Beefy, Manopause and Manpig** and warriors of old, Fukarwi and a
resurgent L'Oiseau Bleu shuffled their way to the fore. A notable
newcomer also joined us - Will, he of the Teignmouth newsagents and he
surprised with his fitness.
Oh joy, they were playing my song, dry roads and on on into the depths of wildest Woodland.
Looking
back, the trail of head torches began to string out and soon faded to
nothing as the pace lifted. The FRBs were working well, with Beefy,
Manopause (back to him later oh Dearly Beloved) and Manpig doing the
bulk of the checking whilst we old timers waited patiently to call the
ON ON as calls filtered back to us. Beefy was on a helluva roll - four
Wong Weis in a row but as the strongest runner on show, he had a good
workout making up the lost ground each time.
A
mile or so into the run and Fishbait, Knotty and hound, running
steadily and strongly, joined the FRBs and the continuing fun. At last
Beefy hit pay dirt and once in front, he steadily drew away but his head
torch still guided and calls informed.
Hindsight
is a wonderful thing and looking back on events, I can now recall
Manopause loitering at the checks on the first LS. Unbeknown to us, he
had laid this split on the Sunday so was admiring his handiwork en
route. I remember at one split asking Manopause to check downhill and he
replied coyly 'Isn't that a hash maxim - never check downhill?' Well it
was downhill and he knew of course!
We
were now on the second long split and were puzzled that checks were
kicked out (correctly) in front of us. Beefy and I were fairly certain
that we were in front so who dunnit? was the question. We were about to
find out as we came off road into a very muddy field and right of way.
In front of us we could see head torches waving around and shouts from
hashers. And there was poor SM Ellie, caught fast in a particularly
sticky mud section. A few yards away, Piddler AHA! was shouting
advice!?! He seemed more concerned that Going Down was receding fast
into the distance than helping the stricken harriet. Gent that he
Shirley is, Beefy stepped in to assist. He was doing fine until some
idiot stopped the rescue saying 'Hold it Beefy, we have to have a
photo!' WHAT? Beefy let go of SM Ellie who promptly lost her balance and
fell backwards into the mudbath! Still, we did get the photo, that's
the main thing isn't it? SM Ellie may have thought differently. Safely
extricated, SM Ellie and helpers headed across the fields and met with
Wet Johnny who directed us to the exit gate and the safe haven of the
Rising Sun.
 |
| SM Ellie in mud bath |
Walking
group started off as Bobbiball, Melon Picker, Shitfaced plus one
(Slobbadog?), Teapot, T Humper and child and Spud. We went down the
wrong way on first check so got even further behind. Teapot soon turned
back (knew what was good for him). Shitfaced got ahead and then MP got
fed up with Spud getting in the way picking up sticks so I became Billy
no mates in between MP and Spud. Eventually I ended up doing the endless
trudge on my own! MP says he got stuck in the mud - same spot as SM
Ellie? Did catch up with Shitfaced when he did not spot a check in the
hedge - could this be another form of trail ? That will have to do!
Much
later at the stewards enquiry, it transpired that SM Ellie, Going Down
and Piddler had mistakenly taken the first short split and then got to
the front by resuming the long trail. Knowing all of them, they would
have stuck to the long trail by choice.
Beefy
recorded the run as 5.9 miles and a run duration of just under an hour.
I put 5.0 miles down for my run as Beefy must have covered an extra
mile checking!
We
had the Rising Sun to ourselves as they had opened specially for us -
Mondays being closed. Before entering, I saw SM Ellie outside trying
valiantly to clean up from her quagmire encounter. I came to the aid of
the party with a pair of Christmas socks from my sister, so at least SM
Ellies feet were dry.
DOWNDOWNS WENT TO:
Hares: ROXANNE & ERECTION for some confusing marks!..but forgiven after a great evening!
SLOBADOG: who after admitting eating? horse manure!, now wears the Horse Head hat.
T.HUMPER: Who after suffering from too much partying with "Hash Fag Lil" finds Its still not a dry January!
Now
you'll never hear any criticism of hares from this quarter. They all
try their little hearts out and are sometimes taken for granted by those
who never lay a trail - but I absolutely loved the Ipplepenners' trail -
it could have been designed for me, old roadrunner that I used to be.
WELL DONE lads, a triumph!
ON ON to next week and yet another Ipplepenner presentation from the Dartmouth Inn, Totnes and Hare Wet Johnny.
*I don't know why I bother sometimes.
** Anyone twenty years younger than me is a young blood.
