A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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HARES ON A MISSION, FUKARWI'S FAMOUS FALL & THE STAR NOW HASH FRIENDLY


Run #1784 Monday 4th March from The Star at Liverton with Soapy & Melon Picker


We came back, a hash like us, to The Star at Liverton, to see if there was still a welcome in the valley. Whispers of a previous landlord who had refused to give DDs (Oh Shirley Sacrilege!) and other suspicions were swiftly allayed and proved to be only a distant nightmare - but in my eagerness to get to the point, I shall return, Douggie Mac style to the hospitality evaluation later, mes miserables..

A cold and miserable March evening, gaily assisted by passing showers and the hares had Shirley drawn the short straw tonight, T Humper. The noteworthy and rare absentee was Teapot (also Wiggers - did he know something we didn't?) and his call to order bugle (drat! I left mine at home) so from memory alone, the following were recalled at the chilly circle:

Going Down, Piddler, Rambo, Doris, Piltdown, Georgie P, Bobby (only here for the promised beer*), U Bend, Piddler, SM Ellie, BroadS, Soapy, Melon Picker, Erection, WJ, Manopause, Poacher, Ina, T Humper, Comes Too Late, I Poo'd, 3Sum, Shitfaced, Ben, Hugo, Will, Colditz, Archangel, Tesco's Finest (AH3 refugee), Forrest, Manpig, Fukarwi, BB, Wetfart, Only Here, Slip on Me, Beefy, Able, Hotlips, Zoot. Thirty nine hashers true and please excuse any omissions.

After Only Here had given the answer to Piltdown's question, the hares gave their version of what lay in store for us out there in the woods: Three L/S splits, a walkers' trail plus a concealed SS.

Mayhem materialised soon after the off with hashers milling around in the housing estates surrounding The Star. It was of course that wonderful hashing ingredient known as a Silly Sod and that we Shirley were with the FRBs the chief sufferers. Those Flying Orienteers, Hugo, Ben & Will, surged back and forth in ever increasing desperation as they sought escape to the trail true.

The pattern was fast becoming evident - the hares were on a mission to foil the FRBs and faithful to hash order, keep the pack together and I mean together for ever - ARGHHHHH! NOOOOOO! A fate worse for the FRBs than a pub with no beer.

Ten times thwarted, the FRBs, now quite shaken, formed up into suspicious little huddles at each of the multitudinous checks, leaving the scouting reports to the FOs.** Light relief was provided by SM Ellie who struck a fanciful pose at a check which was admired by some.

At last the way out into the boondocks was found and across the rain sodden fields we squelched en routey for the woods and the torment they would Shirley bring...
We shall not dwell on the despicable deviations that were heaped upon us therein and the gentle hashers in the pack were aghast at the screams of rage heard at close hand as frustrated FRBs called On Back!

Poacher/Cider were seen at various times charging towards the FRBs from unlikely directions and even though Forrest & Muttley took two short trails, they only succeeded in gaining a few yards - such was the confusion reigning rampant, Rambo.

Round and round and back and forth we were led until marks were discovered that looked suspiciously fresh. 'They're live laying lads!' snarled a gnarled [sic] FRB and sure enough Shirley, the culprit was discovered, Der Zauberlehrling*** himself, shuffling furtively along with flour dispenser in hand. Yes, Oh Dearly Distraught, Melon Picker was on mischief bent. 'I bet you don't know where you are!' was taking the proverbial and sniffing disdainfully, WJ, accompanied by Manopause, Manpig, Fukarwi, Beefy and BroadS continued doggedly along the branch strewn, ultra shiggified trail.

It was inevitable that weakened and weary warriors would succumb to the treacherously slippery elements, Erica and three fallers were duly hospitalised. Going Down reportedly went down and Fukarwi had a famous slowmo, stuntman style tumble descending a steep trail - rather you than me old buddy. Manpig's fall could have been very nasty had it not been for his nose taking the full force of the jarring impact. A wispy trail of blood from said hooter prompted a triumphant cry: 'Bloodied hasher!'

All said and done, the FRBs just about survived the mauling that had been dished out and mentioned in dispatches were BroadS (advised by Coldtitz and Bobby that the 'urine sample' joke was a quote too far though appreciated by Forrest) who seemed to revel in the mud; WJ & Manopause who took the Mick sprinting in to The Star's CP; Beefy with combat trousers who ran the estimated 5 mile long and then cycled back home in the murk; Orienteers Ben & Hugo somehow managed to discover a trail even before Melon P had laid it; determined ladies Going Down and Coldtitz and pole assisted Piddler who was going faster than some of the longs in that final desperate mudbath of a track. Te saluto - I salute you all!

Inside The Star and TV had all of the eating area to themselves, leaving the locals to enjoy their ale in peace. Landlord Brian had taken over last September and with 40 years in the trade certainly knew his beer, giving me a mini tutorial and insight into the tricks of the trade. We were well looked after by Jess (the taller) and Amy. Despite being a tied house (Heineken-Punch) stocking of beers was largely left to the discretion of the landlord and Bombardier 4.1abv, Tribute 4.2abv and the ale of choice Proper Job IPA 4.5abv were ours for the asking though the Proper Job soon ran out!

DOWNDOWNS
RAd by Manpig, the following were awarded:
Joint DD for Soapy & Melon Picker
Forrest (Vampire Bat hat) to Shitfaced for being chuffed at kicking out his first ever check.
Shitfaced (Ceremonial Bat Hat) back to Forrest for reason unknown! (Strange that the word 'nepotism' was mentioned wasn't it Fukarwi?)
BB (Hashit Shirt) to Manpig for his (bloody) fall



Long after most of the hash had dispersed, a hard drinking core (Shitfaced - naturally, Manopause, WJ, Erection, Slip on Me, 3sum & Only Here - doubly naturally) remained and laughs galore were had. Yes, another good Monday evening in Hash central.

Can I be brutally honest with you my brethren? No? Well I will anyway. At the time, I had a torrid (WJ liked that term) and tormented time out there which delighted Soapy - grrr. However, looking back on it in the sober, harsh light of day, my view has ameliorated. The harder the trail, the muddier the trail, the longer the trail, the better I like it - despite this particular edition being patently unsuitable and thankfully MP advised against wearing the Nike EPIC gliders. The several off trail spurs were cunning indeed and the technical expertise required for incorporating a 'live' hare was impressive so, yes, it was a very good trail hares and set us up for a grand evening in a now hash-friendly OD. I'll leave you with a little quote which you might recall from 1940:

'Never in the field of TV hashing were the hares seen by so many for so long' ... No? Well please...

* His namesake nag (Good Boy Bobby) had romped home earlier, swelling the beer kitty.
** Flying Orienteers of course
*** The Sorceror's Apprentice

ON ON to next week and The Cridford Inn (TQ13 0NR) Trusham with Forrest Stump


TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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