A novel OD for TVH - not a pub but a club for our edification oh Dearly Unsuspecting.
Parking was a little problematic for late arrivals but a goodly number - around the magic forty - assembled outside the club including virgins a plenty: Son of Grinder aka Kieran; Lynne with returnee Adam; an unnamed lady from London and Joe from Aberystwyth who had only arrived in Torquay three weeks ago but had managed to find us courtesy of our fb page.
'Twas a virgin lay by our fleet o' foot Torbay AC
hares and they outlined a six mile long, a five mile short (?) plus a
walkers' trail. A beer/ss was added for our titillation and we were
released in the direction of the pier Percy with hope in our hearts.
Having resided in Paignton as a whippersnapper
(circa 1950 then) the back roads around Goodrington were very well known
and, having a fair idea what the route was, I had great fun along the
highways and byways but lost my one remaining popularity point along the
way..
'I
really don't want to go up Penwill Way!' I had confided to Deep Throat
beforehand and had been given a rather sour look for my observation.
Shirley
enough, exiting Goodrington and pottering past the train station,
Penwill loomed large in the crosswires. A little way up and
Poacher/Cider could be seen hesitating - a cross - oh Shirley not! And
he who certainly shall remain nameless had previously shouted to the
longs as they turned off into Wheatlands suburbia: 'There's no way it's
up there!' Not feeling that good with the pulse hovering over 180, the
Dastardly one did a Maggie Thatcher* and pressed onwards and upwards -
knowing that he would Shirley incur the Wrath of Khan** afterwards...
sigh.
As anticipated, the longs weren't best pleased at the grand reunion atop Penwill and on we pressed down into Clennon woods.
Now
we had all been faithfully following the L/S split markers and well
laid the marks were, but then we arrived at the junction of Goodrington
Road and Hookhills Road and the great controversy of the run.
Having
studied and compared Beefy's and Klingon's strava data, I think I have
the answer but some might disagree and yes, I may be mistaken. Across
the junction was an arrow pointing to Sugar Loaf which Poacher spotted
and called the ON ON. No L/S mark could be seen so we went for it and
apparently BroadS, Kieran, Aberystwyth Joe, Manopause, WJ and Beefy
followed.
A
few moments later (well minutes actually as I can't imagine that
Shitfaced was that close, no disrepect intended) Klingon, escorting
Shitfaced, were directed by hare Deep Throat up right onto Hookhills and
thence down Broadsands Park Road and the savage trestled ascent of the
last long section.
We
can only imagine, with a mixture of horror and admiration, how
Shitfaced - a hasher like him Harry - managed to get round without
collapsing. Shirley, this drinker of drinkers had a most serious running
problem to contend with on the night. But 1 hour and 18 minutes later,
Shitfaced staggered home with 5.68 miles in the bag. Remarkable,
Shitfaced, just remarkable. You Shirley now have entered into the realms
of legend.
Like
a mirage, the SS appeared on the Goodrington promenade, manned by
Grinder with all manner of drinks and snacks. Just a scenic jog back to
the club and with only 4.76 miles and 45 minutes running recorded,
questions were already being asked.
Inside
the club (after we had been buzzed in) we encountered a full house of
anglers watching the England/Montenegro footie and a skittles match in
full flow. Club regs. / licensing laws had all hashers sign in before
availing themselves with either Bays or 6X.
Before
embarking on the colourful DDs, mention must be made of a post circle
arrival who, as usual, set off on a solo tour of the trail (shades of
Archangel) but with the added impediment of having no kicked out checks
to help - as most were marked in chalk on the tarmac. Five miles and
nearly two hours later, Coldtits, bright and cheerful, was at the bar,
unheralded and largely unnoticed. It's what hashing is all about isn't
it...
I am most grateful (and relieved) for Winfield's DD observations and notes:
Offenders on the night were.....
WIGWAM (Vampire Bat hat) who on arrival had a pair of ladies briefs attached to his jacket.
PILTDOWN MAN (Hashit shirt) who was an excellent fit for the lost Norfolk Hash T.Shirt !
SHITFACED (Ceremonial Bat hat) who claimed to be the only Hasher to complete the 6 mile long?
WINFIELD who got himself lost after going round and round in Clennon Valley.
HARES DEEP THROAT and GRINDER for leading some astray although in the end it was a great evening!
Fate's
fickle finger decided that I shouldn't suffer the lament of the final
long split. (Deep Throat had suggested that it might be the finish of me
- and knowing what it entailed, I concur.) The 'short' 5 miler resulted
in some fast running for some of the longs, particularly BroadS,
Aberystwyth Joe and young Keiran who managed to get round with a dud
head torch.
Deep
Throat and Grinder, you know what lads? I had a helluva good time out
there and enjoyed every minute, big thumbs up. Also, sorry for my short
cut - I promise not to do it again.
* Not for turning you fools.
** Deep Throat & Beefy
ON ON to next week and the Lower Car Park Haytor Rocks: OD. Carpenters Arms Ilsington TQ13 9RG with Poacher.