Run #1788 Mon 1st April Circle Lower Car Park Haytor Rocks: OD. Carpenters Arms Ilsington with Hare Poacher
The ever enduring TV hash soap opera resumed
from the Haytor lower CP with perennial hare Poacher. For the FRBs and
hardy longs it meant a good stretch out across moor and tor with the
occasional gorse and bog thrown in for good measure. For the shorts and
walkers perhaps a little trepidation - knowing the hare's liking for a
de rigueur epic..
Cometh the circle 'neath the imposing Haytor
and in spring's welcome light for the first time this year, assembled
some three dozen hashers:
Broken Man & Fallen Woman, Teapot,
Winfield, Piltdown & Georgie, SM Ellie, BroadS, Beefy, 69,
Manopause, WJ, Erection, orienteers Ben & Will, Forrest and Cridford
Inn's Sarah, Archangel, Shitfaced, 3sum, SatNav, Wigwam & Bobby,
Coldtits, Hotlips & Zoot, Doris & Rambo, Twin Buffers,
Polyfella, Able Semen, Ding Dong & dawgs, long absent Gobbler,
Paraprick, U Bend (no Piddler?) and BB.
69 relayed the good news that Poacher had set
off at 6:30pm to complete (or start?) the trail, leaving Cider behind.
With no hare present, 69 gave out the trail info as two short trails and
two long splits.
A nasty start to the test - uphill over
uneven ground - had hashers struggling to get into a rhythm (thank gawd,
thought it was just me).
Round the semi-scenic Haytor quarry and man
made lake - complete with abandoned and rusted out machinery - we
ventured, probing for the main direction of the trail.
A clever piece of trail laying saw the longs intermingle with the shorts for a while. Gaily and daintily stepping out was Fallen Woman with Winfield alongside and
there was young U Bend, hiding on the short - oh Shirley not! A
hasher like him, many times mentioned in deeds of derring-do... how had
it come to this? Father Time is unrelenting Oh Dearly Susceptible.
Oh let me fall on the trail and be carried in
glory back to the bar rather than submit to nature's unforgiving
will.. No? Well please...
Out along the ancient tramway and towards Smallacombe Rocks did we trek and Ipplepeners WJ and Manopause were on a roll and uncannily kept choosing right at many a check.
Warming to the theme, habitual cries of encouragement and derision
were heaped upon the long suffering longs [sic], prompting the usual
counter retorts from Beefy. The quote of the evening came from Manopause
who knew the ways of the warrior well Winfield: 'Don't bite, Beefy!'
The pivotal plot of the trail was unfolded and into the treacherous
gorse reinforced bog we blundered. Poacher was out to make (April)
fools of us all.
Slowed to a virtual crawl, the longs concertinaed and we Shirley
were mobhanded to deal with almost any eventuality, Oh Dearly Aghast.
Super scouts Ben and Will spearheaded the main body of Wet Johnny,
Manopause, Beefy, BroadS, old hand Polyfella and BB plus a ladies'
battalion of Ding Dong, SM Ellie and the very experienced local,
Gobbler.
The marks became scarce and mightily elusive forcing the longs to
backtrack and search for clues in the murderous morass. The diligence
paid off but only up to a point as ultimately the mire consumed the
plucky pack and many an eye was averted when the Bluebird began to
wail.. 'My EPICS, my EPICS - ruined I say!'
A way out was spotted away in the distance beyond the killing
ground - Holwell Tor and the quarry slip. Clearing the bog, a lone
maniac shrieked dementedly: 'A check, a check, we're out!'
Some forty minutes into the run and just as some shorts were
reportedly already back changing, another problem arose. The trail had
gone cold yet again and the light was fast ebbing. Ding Dong disappeared
from sight into the valley to the east and Ben and Will were also
covering a lot of extra ground searching. Beefy suddenly spotted that
the Ipplepenners were missing - and they hadn't even said goodbye!
Atop Holwell and a check was found - just as a cry from the gloom
revealed Poacher, resplendent in shorts and tee shirt and no head torch -
hallelujah baby! We're saved!
At last we could resume at pace and with Poacher leading the way,
we sped back to Haytor through an unnamed quarry gorge and finished with
a downhill dash back to the car park. Olé!
Although we were out for up to an
hour and a quarter, only about four miles was covered though Ben and
Will boosted their mileage by running up from the pub and down again
after their run.
TVH pretty much had the Carpenters to themselves and snug and comfy it was in this historical OD. Dartmoor Legend and Hanlons
Yellow Hammer were on tap as well as Scrumpy - to Poacher's delight and
apparently the food was given the thumbs up.
Shitfaced - complete with Ceremonial Bat Hat - RAd the proceedings to add yet another string to his bow:
DOWNDOWNS
The first complete daylight run for SOME of us! even though Hare Poacher decided to make most of it a live trail!
Offenders Awards were presented by SHITFACED to....
S.M.ELLIE for getting lost on another Long trail.
WET JOHNNY for missing his special DD last week.
FORREST STUMP now still displaying the swing label on his latest Grizzly t.shirt
POACHER for his live trail that had us heading around in all directions!
Well done Poacher and thanks to the Carpenters for the excellent food!
Offenders Awards were presented by SHITFACED to....
S.M.ELLIE for getting lost on another Long trail.
WET JOHNNY for missing his special DD last week.
FORREST STUMP now still displaying the swing label on his latest Grizzly t.shirt
POACHER for his live trail that had us heading around in all directions!
Well done Poacher and thanks to the Carpenters for the excellent food!
Ben's strava notes on the run summed it up pretty well:
'Hashing through a gorse filled bog is never a good idea. Lost the trail
far too many times. Fun.' I'll second that. Thanks Poach for a great
trail and a really good TV hash atmosphere in the Carpenters afterwards.
ON ON to next week and it's back to The Park Inn, Kingskerswell TQ12 5BQ. (Paraprick)
