A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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TRULY 'A NIGHT TO REMEMBER' (2019) AND ALL IN ALL - A RUM DO

Run #1789 from The Park Inn Kingskerswell with Hare Paraprick

Not for nothing are Teign Valley known as 'the Party Hash' Oh Dearly Riproarious* and The Park Inn aka Hashing HQ provided ample proof for the saying last night.

So come on now, let's get a singin' straight away:
It was a night oh oh what a night
It was it really was such a night...

A rousing forty six made the circle:
Fallen Woman, Teapot, Winfield, Piltdown & Georgie, SM Ellie, BroadS, Beefy, Manopause, WJ, Erection, orienteers Ben, Hugo & Will, Forrest and Cridford Inn's Sarah, Shitfaced, 3sum, SatNav, Wigwam & Bobby, Coldtits, Hotlips & Zoot, Doris & Rambo, Paraprick, U Bend, Piddler, Going Down, Pisswell, Only Here, T Humper, Cums Too Late, I-Poo'd, Manpig, Fukarwi, Able, Aberystwyth Joe, Raf, Anita, Abcess, Gosia, Slip on Me, BB and a late arriving Dobby. Archangel missed the run but was in position A at the bar later.

It was to be a Game of Three Halves (four if you count the hard core party which rocked 'n rolled past midnight) and par for the course was Paraprick arriving pre circle mounted atop his street legal 1000cc quad cruiser - complete with trailer cage for the dogs.

Fallen Woman was in party mood straight from the get go, cheering every statement with enthusiasm and SatNav's posh grand 'pand'** kept the jocular circle amused.

The hare declared three L/S splits and, of course, the linchpin of the enterprise - a party stop chez Para - yes, it was going to be a Night to Remember...

Old cloth ears had failed to hear Paraprick mention that the trail was similar to his last soirée and lost vital ground in the early stages. The orienteers were away and gone and the solid [sic] pairing of WJ and Manopause caught a flyer and it Shirley was going to be a difficult run Raf...

Para was seen a few times on the quaddie with Cums2late riding pillion but though nominated, she just missed out on a DD.

The climb from Kerswell up to Coffinswell sorted the longs out big time and it was difficult to see who was where Winfield. Moto motoing downhill on the tarmac, WJ, Manopause and Aber. Joe (the lad can go a bit) were finally closed down and Manopause remarked how nice it was to see old BB and they had waited specially for him to catch up! That'll be the day Doris.

On a long straight climb, the FRBs could be seen, strung out up ahead: Beefy, Ben, Will, Hugo (back from injury and having a nightmare), MANPIG AND FUKARWI! What? I knew I wasn't going that well but how on earth had they managed to get that far in front?! It got worse, as on a scenic bridlepath descent, Wigwam was spotted up ahead, duking it out with Aber. Joe! What on earth was going on?

It seemed that it was all uphill to Para's gaff and it was a relief to finally turn into the drive with a good 5k covered. Manpig & Fukarwi came clean to reveal that they had taken a short split en routey and Wigwam also put up his hands though in truth he looked well able to contest the long course.

Oh what a table of tempting delights and hash bevvies was laid out for the happy hash house harriers and many a short were already ensconced and availing themselves of the hospitality. However, not wanting to risk a chill, I saluted and bailed after asking Para the way home. 'Turn right out of the drive, then immediately left and downhill past the lake and you're home.' came the reply BUT both Beefy and I were unaware that this was the final SHORT split - ahhhhh so.... sorry Beefy.

The saga of Shitfaced revealed that rum was on offer and it was an offer that could not be refused... the story fast became legend that would fade but slowly into hash myth:
The night they drove old Shitfaced down, and the hash horn was blowing
The night they drove old Shitfaced down, and the hashers were singin' they went
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...

A mile and leisurely eight minutes later, the haven of HHQ was reached (good trail as shorts and longs were always quite close together)  and strangely, first to the bar were Beefy and the Bird..

Hunters Gold and Legend were gushing amber and clear from the taps (with Gun Dog in reserve), the footie was background colour and the atmosphere was buzzin' - yes, Oh Dearly Delighted, we were in hashing heaven.

The massed ranks of the hallelujah hash were at fever pitch as Teapot called order and Manpig - he of the pepper 'n salt fuzz - took up station and the order of the evening set by SM Ellie was three contenders for DD glory, Winfield taking the honours. Forrest was mercilessly harried by Archangel ('Is Manpig your b**ch, Forrest?') as he transferred the Hashit shirt back once more to Manpig, apparently the rightful owner of the award. Confusion (a TVH trademark) followed WJ's delivery of the Ceremonial Bat Hat to T Humper, though the words 'for being a lady' were vaguely discerned in the delivery. Celebrations aplenty were the order of the evening as Beefy got his 100 Badge and rounded off the awards quite nicely, thank you very much. Ah, nearly forgot, Bobby had three renditions of his Bobbiball song to accentuate the jollities.

Shitfaced finally made a belated entrance and it was evident that the rum ration had been slightly surpassed Shirley..
Some said Shitfaced was paralytic, I say he was supremely relaxed, smiling benignly at all with that trademark shitfaced look he has made his own. And, let us not forget Oh Dearly Inebriated - it is what we are about as HHH Teetolallers we Shirley are not. If it were 'A Night to Remember', then Captain Shitfaced was last seen on the bridge saluting as he went down in an alcoholic haze. All in all, a pretty rum do it was***...

Party animals 3Sum & T Humper presided in the after hours 'entertainment' and I won't divulge what it means to be T Humpered...

Well, in conclusion, I have to repeat my former observation, Paraprick - it truly was a Night to Remember. All the ingredients of a major hash success were there to be enjoyed. Thank you indeed for your efforts we chorus.

THE DDs
Run 1789 from The Park Inn Kingskerswell where on a great evening trail with Hare Paraprick who had provided a Drinks and nibbles Stop, which was voted "best in history" by many...before eventually!! returning for the DD Awards, which were presented to the following offenders:-
WINFIELD who was spotted draining every last drop from the Rum bottle..Hic!
T.HUMPER for being just A LADY! ?
MANPIG who confessed to laying FORREST'S "Trail of the Year" !
BEEFY who has at last reached his 100 fast Runs badge!

* riproarious (1821) was changed to riproaring in 1834
** 'Don't forget to give me a 'pand' if you're not members.'
*** It had to be done.

ON ON to next week and the Ipplepen Football Club TQ12 5TT with Wet Johnny.

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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