Run #1789 from The Park Inn Kingskerswell with Hare Paraprick
Not
for nothing are Teign Valley known as 'the Party Hash' Oh Dearly
Riproarious* and The Park Inn aka Hashing HQ provided ample proof for
the saying last night.
So come on now, let's get a singin' straight away:
It was a night oh oh what a night
It was it really was such a night...
A rousing forty six made the circle:
Fallen
Woman, Teapot, Winfield, Piltdown & Georgie, SM Ellie, BroadS,
Beefy, Manopause, WJ, Erection, orienteers Ben, Hugo & Will, Forrest
and Cridford Inn's Sarah, Shitfaced, 3sum, SatNav, Wigwam & Bobby,
Coldtits, Hotlips & Zoot, Doris & Rambo, Paraprick, U Bend,
Piddler, Going Down, Pisswell, Only Here, T Humper, Cums Too Late,
I-Poo'd, Manpig, Fukarwi, Able, Aberystwyth Joe, Raf, Anita, Abcess,
Gosia, Slip on Me, BB and a late arriving Dobby. Archangel missed the
run but was in position A at the bar later.
It
was to be a Game of Three Halves (four if you count the hard core party
which rocked 'n rolled past midnight) and par for the course was
Paraprick arriving pre circle mounted atop his street legal 1000cc quad
cruiser - complete with trailer cage for the dogs.
Fallen
Woman was in party mood straight from the get go, cheering every
statement with enthusiasm and SatNav's posh grand 'pand'** kept the
jocular circle amused.
The
hare declared three L/S splits and, of course, the linchpin of the
enterprise - a party stop chez Para - yes, it was going to be a Night to
Remember...
Old
cloth ears had failed to hear Paraprick mention that the trail was
similar to his last soirée and lost vital ground in the early stages.
The orienteers were away and gone and the solid [sic] pairing of WJ and
Manopause caught a flyer and it Shirley was going to be a difficult run
Raf...
Para was seen a few times on the quaddie with Cums2late riding pillion but though nominated, she just missed out on a DD.
The
climb from Kerswell up to Coffinswell sorted the longs out big time and
it was difficult to see who was where Winfield. Moto motoing downhill on the tarmac,
WJ, Manopause and Aber. Joe (the lad can go a bit) were finally closed
down and Manopause remarked how nice it was to see old BB and they had
waited specially for him to catch up! That'll be the day Doris.
On
a long straight climb, the FRBs could be seen, strung out up ahead:
Beefy, Ben, Will, Hugo (back from injury and having a nightmare), MANPIG
AND FUKARWI! What? I knew I wasn't going that well but how on earth had
they managed to get that far in front?! It got worse, as on a scenic
bridlepath descent, Wigwam was spotted up ahead, duking it out with
Aber. Joe! What on earth was going on?
It
seemed that it was all uphill to Para's gaff and it was a relief to
finally turn into the drive with a good 5k covered. Manpig & Fukarwi
came clean to reveal that they had taken a short split en routey and
Wigwam also put up his hands though in truth he looked well able to
contest the long course.
Oh what a table of tempting delights and hash bevvies was laid out for the happy hash house harriers
and many a short were already ensconced and availing themselves of the
hospitality. However, not wanting to risk a chill, I saluted and bailed
after asking Para the way home. 'Turn right out of the drive, then
immediately left and downhill past the lake and you're home.' came the
reply BUT both Beefy and I were unaware that this was the final SHORT
split - ahhhhh so.... sorry Beefy.
The saga
of Shitfaced revealed that rum was on offer and it was an offer that
could not be refused... the story fast became legend that would fade but
slowly into hash myth:
The night they drove old Shitfaced down, and the hash horn was blowing
The night they drove old Shitfaced down, and the hashers were singin' they went
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...
A mile and leisurely eight minutes later, the haven of HHQ was reached (good trail as shorts and longs were always quite close together) and strangely, first to the bar were Beefy and the Bird..
Hunters Gold and Legend were gushing
amber and clear from the taps (with Gun Dog in reserve), the footie was
background colour and the atmosphere was buzzin' - yes, Oh Dearly Delighted, we were in hashing heaven.
The
massed ranks of the hallelujah hash were at fever pitch as Teapot
called order and Manpig - he of the pepper 'n salt fuzz - took up
station and the order of the evening set by SM Ellie was three
contenders for DD glory, Winfield taking the honours. Forrest was
mercilessly harried by Archangel ('Is Manpig your b**ch, Forrest?') as
he transferred the Hashit shirt back once more to Manpig, apparently the rightful owner of the award. Confusion (a TVH trademark) followed WJ's delivery of the Ceremonial Bat Hat to T Humper, though the words 'for being a lady' were vaguely discerned in the delivery.
Celebrations aplenty were the order of the evening as Beefy got his 100
Badge and rounded off the awards quite nicely, thank you very much. Ah,
nearly forgot, Bobby had three renditions of his Bobbiball song to
accentuate the jollities.
Shitfaced finally made a belated entrance and it was evident that the rum ration had been slightly surpassed Shirley..
Some
said Shitfaced was paralytic, I say he was supremely relaxed, smiling
benignly at all with that trademark shitfaced look he has made his own.
And, let us not forget Oh Dearly Inebriated - it is what we are about as
HHH Teetolallers we Shirley are not.
If it were 'A Night to Remember', then Captain Shitfaced was last seen
on the bridge saluting as he went down in an alcoholic haze. All in all,
a pretty rum do it was***...
Party animals 3Sum & T Humper presided in the after hours 'entertainment' and I won't divulge what it means to be T Humpered...
Well, in conclusion, I have to repeat my former observation,
Paraprick - it truly was a Night to Remember. All the ingredients of a
major hash success were there to be enjoyed. Thank you indeed for your
efforts we chorus.
THE DDs
Run
1789 from The Park Inn Kingskerswell where on a great evening trail
with Hare Paraprick who had provided a Drinks and nibbles Stop, which
was voted "best in history" by many...before eventually!! returning for
the DD Awards, which were presented to the following offenders:-
WINFIELD who was spotted draining every last drop from the Rum bottle..Hic!
T.HUMPER for being just A LADY! ?
MANPIG who confessed to laying FORREST'S "Trail of the Year" !
BEEFY who has at last reached his 100 fast Runs badge!
* riproarious (1821) was changed to riproaring in 1834
** 'Don't forget to give me a 'pand' if you're not members.'
*** It had to be done.
ON ON to next week and the Ipplepen Football Club TQ12 5TT with Wet Johnny.
