A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Pages (when clicked the item will appear at the bottom of the page - click home to return)

A GRAND MASTER CALLED SHITFACED, FUKARWI GOES ROGUE & PAN FART PROMOTED TO FRB

Run #1794 Monday 13th May from The Old Church House Inn Torbryan with the Fukarwi Family

It was to be a big night for TVH as Piltdown Man was relinquishing his tenure as Grand Master, leaving a vacancy to be filled - more on this later Oh Dearly Bored Already but let us start at the beginning - always a good idea..

The run, the pub and the AGPU meeting, yes, Oh Dearly Congested, it was going to be a hectic evening with TVH, so let's Rocknrolla...

So many came to be amused and the pub car park was soon overwhelmed by carbon spewing chariots. A dread rumbling in the distance became a roar as Achtung Bobby Woll's Panzer hove into view. Furiously did hashers try to flag him down but Bobby, with that trademark snarl, was not for turning and hashers leapt for their lives as the Panzer trundled into the car park. The Rottenführer was back in business..

The Penners, just up the road, had hatched a cunning plan to enable them to adhere to the PU part of the AGPU. Why, they would simply walk there and Shirley Stagger back. They had a stroke of luck, however, as Only Here was passing and they piled in the back of the open chariot to arrive 'in style' Shirley - more on the return later...

Difficult to see who was where Wally but I made out: Piltdown & Georgy, Rambo & Doris, Winfield, Teapot, Beefy, Fukarwi, Coldtits, Manopause, Erection, Wet Johnny (back from Bolivia baby), Hotlips & Zoot, 3sum, SatNav, Twin Buffers, Polyfella, Pan Fart, Abscess, Anita, Gosia, 69, Forrest, Sarah, Piddler, U Bend, Poacher, Klingon, SM Ellie (still standing after Sunday's Beer Blazer 10 miler), Soapy & Melon Picker, Able, Shitfaced, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Only Here, Compo, Mouldy, Bobby Woll, Wiggers, Slip on Me, Sugar Puff, Camel Toe, BB, 5 virgins: Gina, Joseph, Debs, Sue & Sarah - that's fifty and sorry if I missed you in the mayhem Mavis. Archangel wasn't going to miss a PU and arrived after the run.

The very last question Oh Dearly Relieved by GM Piltdown was duly delivered (Able taking the beer) and Fukarwi was summoned to divulge the ingredients of what should have been a 'simple and short' hors d'oeuvre trail - but the famously nam-ed one evidently hadn't read the script, Oh Dearly Be prepared for an Epic...

Now it's usually a day off for the designated hare for the AGPU as the instruction from on high is: 'Take them out for half an hour or so and get 'em into the pub quick...' but the FRB hare had other plans and was about to go rogue..

FIVE L/S splits and an ASS* stop - WHAT? Hash tradition hadn't just gone out the window, Fukarwi had smashed the glass as well - I like it, I like it and the FRBs and lordly longs lifted their eyes to heaven in thanks for the deliverance from an evil [sic] manufactured shorty Shirley..
Fukarwi had left nothing to chance Charlie and had planned the trail as if it were a military operation which his detailed map bore ample testament. The only question was - would it actually work Winfield?

The hell hill out of Torbryan came as a Shirley Shock and soon strung the pack out. It took quite an effort to rejoin the longs on Orley Common. Decanting into the tightly twisting wooded trail saw Sugar Puff, Pan Fart, Abscess, Poacher, Manopause, Compo and WJ to the fore. Though temporarily missing, Beefy soon appeared on hitting the tarmac with phone a snappin' Shirley..

Gaps started to appear on the aching asphalt (for serial off roaders) and Beefy the FRB scout surged onwards but with two passengers keeping him in sight - one was well-known but the other was definitely not - Pan Fart was really rolling tonight and it was a helluva eye-opener as he skated away up an incline. At the end of the run, Pan Fart had been promoted to the hallowed halls of the FRBs. Hallelujah!

At about halfway the welcome cider and SS appeared, manned by faithful Fukarwi's family - and again there was attention to detail with a table neatly bedecked with the drinks and sweeties. We tarried for a chat and breather in the sunshine before pressing onwards into the already amazing trail and there was plenty more to come.

Arriving late on the scene as stamina came into play, Polyfella joined the party of Beefy, Pan Fart and the battling Bird and apart from going astray late on, the church hove into view and we were home with a Magnificent Seven miles in the bag Beefy. Holy moly and Olé!

Sweeping the area for casualties or fatalities, Fukarwi came across one serene soul, wandering lonely as a cloud. He pulled up and gently enquired whether the delightful damsel required asistance or a lift back to base even. The Latecoming Queen's answer was predictable and Fukarwi left Coldtits to continue her merry way...the Lady was not for turning, No? Well..

The Old Church House was heaving with hashers and there was no room to swing a cat even if we had one. Hash grub had been laid on - gratis for members otherwise two squid for the quiders.

In the absence of our RA sans pareil (reportedly Turkey exported?) Mouldy did the honours and the awards went thus:

Mon May 13th it was our AGPU Run, No1793, from The Church House Inn Torbryan with Hare Fukawe assisted by Prickly Bush and family. A great sunny evening and trail, which led us around the scenic countryside, woods lanes and fields, we had it all. Well done Fukawe.
The Offenders on this evening were:-
PILTDOWN MAN for finding a parking space almost in the next village!
PILTDOWN MAN again!well it was the last time and we will never have to rack our brains over one of his weekly questions ! ?
PAN FART this giant surprised Bluebird by leaving him in his wake! and is not going to waste his beer now either !
TWIN BUFFERS who at last after many years finally reached her 50Runs Badge but it may take that long to drink up!
PIDDLER always complaining so he had to drink water?

A late AGPU meeting was convened in a tiny room (but adequate for our needs) to the rear of the pub and the stop press headline was the investiture of the new Grand Master of the Teign Valley Hash. Congratulations my son, we now have a GM called Shitfaced! So let it be written, So let it be done.**

Business concluded, the hash dispersed, leaving the PU artists in situ but then at 10:25pm the Last Orders was called - YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS! but they were and though drink-up time was permitted, it was a bit of a damper on proceedings if I'm brutally honest with you Oh Dearly Not P***ed After All, Jolly enough and just about lubricated were the Penners who crammed into the last chariot in the car park and were ferried safely back home. Happy days lads.

Well, the answer to the question 'Would it work?' was a resounding YES Fukarwi mate. A savage, scenic, seven miler on an AGPU evening? All that hard work for us longs - we raise our glasses to you in honour! Pass on our thanks to Prickly Bush, Pole Dodger and your daughter please.

* Shirley you remember: Alcohol Sweetie Stop!
** If you recall this from The Ten Commandments (Yul Brynner   1956) award yourself a banana Betty.

ON ON to next week and the circle up at Manaton CHURCH CP (TQ13 9UJ) OD: The Kestor Inn Manaton (Poacher) and don't forget that
Bobbiball is having a 69 birthday party on Friday 17th May at 7pm at the Parkers Arms Collaton St Mary Paignton Buffet and disco provided.

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

CTRL HTML MY REF.

Photobucket

SC