TVH COMES OF AGE, THE STAFF OF MOSES & DIDN'T THE LADS DO WELL

RUN #1800 Monday 24th June Circle in Station Rd Car Park Bovey Tracey. OD The Dolphin Inn with Runner Bean & Co

And they came to Bovey me luvvies, to be part of the fabric that is Teign Valley HHH's history - our glorious 1800th run. Fate's fickle finger had decided - most appropriately - that the Grammar lads would host the party, the young bright future of a healthy and vibrant hash.

Let's get stuck in straight way to celebrate the Monster 7.9 mile Hash that the lads served up. Singalong with me now:

We did the hash

We did the monster hash,

The monster hash,

For two it was nearly a graveyard smash

We did the hash 
It caught on in a flash..

Now back to the beginning of the saga Oh Dearly Agogified*..

Circle recalled: Woof Woof, Alice (second run for TVH), Bobby, Wigwam, Teapot, Winfield, GM Shitfaced, Piltdown, Georgy P, WJ, Erection, Hagen Daz & Harry, Flasher, Plonker, Runner Bean, Ollie, Forrest - (no G-string as she's got a puppy so no contest), Hornie & Pork Torpedo, 69, Only Here, I-Poo'd, Slobbadog, Just Cummin, T Humper, Manpig arriving in pose car of the lady wife, Beefy, Fukarwi, Able, Doris & Rambo, Archangel, virgin Will (not at the circle, brought along by Flasher), Polyfella, Coldtits, SM Ellie, BroadS, Wide Receiver, BB, Soapy, Melon Picker, Zoot, Hotlips, Poacher, Slip on Me, Fishbait & Small Fry, SatNav, 3Sum, Fallen Woman & Broken Man, Pan Fart & Anita, Paraprick and Deep Semen. Fifty six I made it after scanning the footage and a great evening we would have to remember for this 'Coming of Age' by TVH!

The glorious landmark was the moment that the Grand Master decided to reveal his party piece [sic] upon an unsuspecting circle and impressive it Shirley was, Oh Dearly Got Carried Away... mayhap inspired after a viewing of Moses parting the Red Sea with staff raised, the GM proudly paraded his hand hewn badge of office.

Zoot was busy dispensing the 1800 run shirts and Wide Receiver, he of the go faster haircut, was catching up with other hashers in his first appearance this year, I think.

A lucky guess secured the GM's bottle of Prosecco which was awarded to Hornie at the Dolphin later.  The Vice President interrupted proceedings to show that there was indeed 'life in the old dog' yet though his macho attentions were not appreciated that much by the unfortunate recipient.

The hare and assistants were huddled together making last minute adjustments to their trail plan and Runner Bean announced a six and a half (he didn't want to create a panic by revealing the true length) mile long trail to stifled gasps from the gallery plus a four mile short and a two mile walkers' trail. Three L/S splits AND a beer stop with surprises, WHOA! The lads know how it's done - let's rock 'n' stroll... and the 1800th party was underway.

It was Piccadilly Circus as the longs met up with the local running group going up the narrow lane at the start and we soon arrived at the make your minds up junction veering up to the swimming pool and cricket club.  Ollie suddenly appeared and he seemed on a roll as we trustingly followed. 'Why are we following him?' enquired Woof Woof. 'He's one of the hares - well, a friend of one of the hares...'  Down an unknown bridlepath we plunged and it was going like a Clockwork Orange until Ollie came charging back... sigh.

Then the Long and Winding Road beckoned and the cream floated serenely to the top.. Beefy and Wide FRBing**, Polyfella, Ollie and WJ close behind and the rest of the hash strung out from Here to Eternity, Oh Dearly Good To Be Alive.  The shorts merged stage right with Winfield still on cruise control, Melon Picker having a gogo on this auspicious evening, 69, 3Sum and Satnav a mere blur (trouble with the ol' mince pies) and it was going so well, Wally.

Pausing awhile to gather breath at the Haytor road crossroads (1.8 miles in) Oh Dearly Have Shot Their Bolts Already and Woof Woof and young Alice loomed large in the rear wing mirror. I will not report the words spoken by the Bat when joined but he had cause to regret them soon after... They were running very well though and disconcertingly chatting away to each other all the time as Beefy confirmed later.

The petrol gauge blinked red on the climb to Yarner Wood and the Bat began to look for the exit - and we were only 2.4 miles in - it was Shirley going to be a fight to get round and boy was I glad to see Fukarwi as the lights began to dim.

Having a running buddy really helps take your mind off the pain and though still near the action - Ollie and Wide doing the checking, we were eventually left far behind, Oh Dearly Deserted...

Leaving the joy of the woods loop we embarked on the not so beautiful climb back uphill from whence we had come and the rapidly becoming desperate (Fukarwi fearing he was going to be late to pick up his son and the Bat fearing he was going to fall over) duo hatched a survival plan: 'Let's find the next signpost!' And there it was at the summit pointing to Bovey and salvation down the hill and the trail true left towards the golf club. Yes, it had to be done, Oh Dearly Bailing Out and gently down to the town centre we coursed but we had missed what reportedly was a brilliant BS and GS high up above Bovey. Never mind, we had covered six miles which wasn't too bad and the Bat had lived to hash another day.

The Jail revived as we awaited the main body of the hash and we did have the whole of the front room to ourselves. Bobby was intently studying a map and was confident that he knew how to get to Ilsington for his and Winfield's hash next week..

Soapy had crafted a simply magnificent TVH 1800 cake for the occasion and it tasted as good as it looked - take a bow Soapy, you Shirley deserve it.

Forrest's chat up line to Just Cummin as she asked to try on the Hawaiian jacket cannot be reported here on this family show, though it was along the lines of a song from the Rodgers & Hammerstein Musical Carousel***. Ask Forrest next week, he'll be wearing it plus a natty shirt I've heard...

Just remembered a couple of other things I missed out:

Biggest cheer of the evening was for Archangel who arrived after the DDs - that was a long time on your feet and also wasn't it great to see Rambo stand up and say a few words to the hash. Yes, a brilliant evening.

DOWNDOWNS

A great anniversary run with Hares Runner Bean & Co who had laid a great choice of trails out and around Bovey along the footpaths lanes fields and woodlands with a novelty sweet stop and plenty of cake and cider to energise us.

Our 1800th Awards were presented to:

PILTDOWN MAN (Horsey horse face hat) for unicorn abuse at the Sweet Stop.

FORREST STUMP for "losing" the Pillock Shirt.

ONLY HERE FOR the BEER (Bat hat substituting for the Viking Horns hat) for not stopping to give Manpig a lift.

Anita now for ever to be known as BUSH BABY after falling in the bushes.

SATNAV a DD for her birthday

RUNNER BEAN (ceremonial Bat Hat)  DD on behalf of his team for an excellent evening - thank you all!

* Not a dictionary entry but nevertheless in use.

** You know what I mean Shirley.

*** June is Bustin' Out All Over!

Well, Oh Dearly Beloved, our 1800th hash lived up to expectations and more thanks to the dedication and hard work of Runner Bean and company. Didn't the lads do well!

ON ON to next week and The Carpenters Arms at Ilsington TQ13 9RG with Bobby