Run #1801 from the Carpenters Arms at Ilsingon with Bobby and Winfield
To the darkest depths of Ilsington we travelled for the trail of the unlikely pairing of Panzer Bobby and English knight Winfield - what would they have in store [sic] for us, we pondered... Rumours of macheted jungle and all terrain vehicles had spread like wildfire and we were prepared for anything that the Rottenführer could throw at us..
To the darkest depths of Ilsington we travelled for the trail of the unlikely pairing of Panzer Bobby and English knight Winfield - what would they have in store [sic] for us, we pondered... Rumours of macheted jungle and all terrain vehicles had spread like wildfire and we were prepared for anything that the Rottenführer could throw at us..
The circle roll call on a beautiful early summer's evening was forty one: Piltdown, Woof Woof, Beefy, Flasher, Winfield, Bobby, Teapot, GM Shitfaced, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Soapy & Melon Picker, Doris & Rambo, Pan Fart & Bush Baby and Wiki, 69, SatNav, 3Sum, Manpig, Forrest, Able, Fukarwi, WJ, Manopause (back from leg wound), Erection, Fallen Woman & Broken Man, Hagen Daz and Harry, Pork Torpedo & Hornie, Pisswell, Slip on Me, BB, BroadS, SM Ellie, Piddler, Wiggy and Archangel.
A newbie, Wiki (daughter of Pan Fart & Bush Baby) was presented and duly flour initiated by Teapot. Then the hares were summoned and the chaos Shirley began..
The G & T that Bobby had been regaled with post lay, courtesy of Broken Man and Fallen Woman's fully equipped camper, had Shirley further addled the tank commander's brain and he embarked upon a garbled explanation of the trail. 'I thought that the long was getting too long so I've marked a long long (LL) as well as the normal long, so if you don't want to go too long take the long and not the long long..' long sigh. At this point, Winfield was seen slowly edging away, hoping to disassociate himself from the impending travesty.
Never mind, Oh Dearly Resigned to Their Fate, and we were sent on our way into the Ilsington Twilight Zone and the mayhem materialised Mavis at the first check but twenty metres away. Scouts were sent up and down the hill and shouts of 'ON ON' were heard from both directions until Winfield directed the hapless hash down the rock strewn Simms Hill.
The G & T that Bobby had been regaled with post lay, courtesy of Broken Man and Fallen Woman's fully equipped camper, had Shirley further addled the tank commander's brain and he embarked upon a garbled explanation of the trail. 'I thought that the long was getting too long so I've marked a long long (LL) as well as the normal long, so if you don't want to go too long take the long and not the long long..' long sigh. At this point, Winfield was seen slowly edging away, hoping to disassociate himself from the impending travesty.
Never mind, Oh Dearly Resigned to Their Fate, and we were sent on our way into the Ilsington Twilight Zone and the mayhem materialised Mavis at the first check but twenty metres away. Scouts were sent up and down the hill and shouts of 'ON ON' were heard from both directions until Winfield directed the hapless hash down the rock strewn Simms Hill.
A scuffed mark seemed to direct us into a crop field and the cry 'Hard a port!' took several over the gate but Manopause decided that it didn't look promising and the crestfallen Bat was hauled back to be admonished by Forrest.
Spilling out onto the road and there was Bobby Woll's Panzer, blending in perfectly with the Higher Sigford bocage. Bobby, admiring his handiwork, shouted encouragement and direction to Manpig, who promptly veered the Wong Wei Long* and had to be recalled.
Just at this early stage, Woof Woof appeared, her progress being impeded somewhat by lack of a chatting companion. Determined not to be left trailing in her wake (again) the Bat ran alongside and unwittingly became the foil for Woof Woof's extended commentary.
From then on, the miles ticked by in a carousel of ever-changing terrain and scenic wonders never before seen by the hash. Only about two miles in and a little huddle of longs debated whether a faded mark was indeed the mythical LL - little realising that it was five metres away around the corner... sigh
The trail plunged downwards through woods, culminating with a nasty little drop - deliberately arranged by the wily Woll. Not too much of a problem for Beefy, Manpig or Woof Woof but the Bat didn't like the look of it one little bit. As if sensing his imminent doom, Beefy stepped forward and braced himself with steely fist outstretched to arrest the plummet of the fluttering Bat. Sav-ed for now..
Nettles invigorated, trailing brambles ripped bare flesh and the blood flowed, creating a true vampire bat. Yes, we were hashing, Oh Dearly Good To Be Alive..
Manpig kept me going and raised my spirits with an encouraging 'Why don't you die, you skinny b*****d!' That's what mates are for, Shirley.
Was that the SS where Bobby and parked Panzer were at the entrance to the farm? I was too wiped out to notice but I recall Beefy taking a group photo and Bobby saying we were nearly half-way, and off we went again, in search of more adventure. Woof Woof lamented at every arrow 'We want more checks!' but she Shirley meant me as she had glided serenely throughout, untroubled by the terrain.
Just at this early stage, Woof Woof appeared, her progress being impeded somewhat by lack of a chatting companion. Determined not to be left trailing in her wake (again) the Bat ran alongside and unwittingly became the foil for Woof Woof's extended commentary.
From then on, the miles ticked by in a carousel of ever-changing terrain and scenic wonders never before seen by the hash. Only about two miles in and a little huddle of longs debated whether a faded mark was indeed the mythical LL - little realising that it was five metres away around the corner... sigh
The trail plunged downwards through woods, culminating with a nasty little drop - deliberately arranged by the wily Woll. Not too much of a problem for Beefy, Manpig or Woof Woof but the Bat didn't like the look of it one little bit. As if sensing his imminent doom, Beefy stepped forward and braced himself with steely fist outstretched to arrest the plummet of the fluttering Bat. Sav-ed for now..
Nettles invigorated, trailing brambles ripped bare flesh and the blood flowed, creating a true vampire bat. Yes, we were hashing, Oh Dearly Good To Be Alive..
Manpig kept me going and raised my spirits with an encouraging 'Why don't you die, you skinny b*****d!' That's what mates are for, Shirley.
Was that the SS where Bobby and parked Panzer were at the entrance to the farm? I was too wiped out to notice but I recall Beefy taking a group photo and Bobby saying we were nearly half-way, and off we went again, in search of more adventure. Woof Woof lamented at every arrow 'We want more checks!' but she Shirley meant me as she had glided serenely throughout, untroubled by the terrain.
Round a corner and there was the Grand Master, complete with Moses staff leading his Parkies T Humper and I-Poo'd out of the wilderness to the Promised Land.
Over hill, dale, track and stream the long longs endured: Beefy taking plenty of action pics, Woof Woof chatting away, Flasher fresh from the Devon Orienteering Champs., Manpig on a charge and a bleedin' Bat with Fukarwi and Wet Johnny also long longing bringing up the rear - warriors all.
Under a fallen log and Hornie, Fallen Woman, SatNav and 3Sum appeared, Shirley we were nearing home but then, just as Woof Woof had noted, there was the sting in the trail [sic] - the final L/S split.
Over a stile, down through the woods and break hard for the Ilsington highway dead ahead and then the trail went Ice Cold In Alex, Oh Dearly Fallen At The Last Fence... and for the second time, the hash huddle convened to pool their accumulated wisdom, Winfield.
Many minutes later and even with WJ and Fukarwi contributing, no reasonable strategy could be decided upon, Yes, Oh Dearly The Clock Has Beaten Us, it was time to go to the pub and do what we do Courage Best.
Die-hards Beefy, Woof Woof ('I hate giving up') and Flasher continued (successfully in the end) to search for the mysterious missing marks. Manpig eventually found the last check and OH and after some eighty minutes of running and nigh on seven miles, we had finished. Well done Winfield and Bob**..
The Ernest Carpenter supping ale 3.8 abv slid down the throat easily and the hash grub at three sovs was value.
HARE COMMENTARY & DOWNDOWNS
Although Co-Hare Bobbiball had at the last moment changed the Long On-Home, forcing the pack on road instead of the great laid trail off road, this was a very testing scenic run up and down hills, through fields, Barley, woodlands over the old sliver mine workings, although none were spotted tonight!
Die-hards Beefy, Woof Woof ('I hate giving up') and Flasher continued (successfully in the end) to search for the mysterious missing marks. Manpig eventually found the last check and OH and after some eighty minutes of running and nigh on seven miles, we had finished. Well done Winfield and Bob**..
The Ernest Carpenter supping ale 3.8 abv slid down the throat easily and the hash grub at three sovs was value.
HARE COMMENTARY & DOWNDOWNS
Although Co-Hare Bobbiball had at the last moment changed the Long On-Home, forcing the pack on road instead of the great laid trail off road, this was a very testing scenic run up and down hills, through fields, Barley, woodlands over the old sliver mine workings, although none were spotted tonight!
Down Downs were awarded to the following offenders:-
SATNAV still not happy after complaining AGAIN that her latest Runs Badge is overdue!
FORREST this week... for losing his Awards polo shirt! and he's still not happy over this!
BOBBIBALL One for asking coyly if Forrest would like a Sweetie! is still thinking about his offer!
BOBIBALL again! for inventing a double LL long? route but two longs do not make it right!
* Hard to believe but Wong Wei Long is a Chinese Singaporean basketball player. Yes Weally, I mean really.
** Through clenched teeth!
It was quite a run over rare virgin territory and proved ultimately to be a Bobby and Winfield triumph. The long longs gave Archangel a run for his money for time on their feet and it was great to be able to nearly keep up with such strong running hashers and harriet.
ON ON to next week and the London Inn at Shaldon TQ14 0DN with Piltdown & Georgy P'Orgy
