PARK INN'S RED DRESS RUN FOR MIGMAN & ROWCROFT

 

Run #1804 Monday 22nd July RED DRESS RUN from the Park Inn with GM Shitfaced

 

Homeric words none this week Beefy, although in truth, the preparations and work that went into the scheme were of epic proportion. Herewith are merely a few recollections of the excellent evening. 

 

The Grand Master's brainchild came to fruition: a Red Dress run to commemorate our dearly departed Migman plus a little fund-raiser for that most deserving institution - Rowcroft Hospice.

 

Difficult to establish numbers but I made at least fifty five at the circle with some arriving even as the Grand Master launched into his spiel.

 

The Red Dress code varied greatly from the glamorous to the grotesque and various local charity shops had been relieved of their red dress stock.

 

I was more than a little taken aback when Shitfaced outlined a four plus mile long, having an ill-founded belief that we would only be dancing around the block and back. Whatamistakatomaka..

 

A few sample memories of the attire on show:

 

3Sum was glamorous in a flowing dress, more befitting a Gala Ball.

Teapot hadn't removed the price tag from his red skirt, no doubt hoping for a rapid refund on Tuesday.

The Penners had managed to arrive without being pulled over with Wet Johnny care free in a daring off the shoulder number and the weight loss had certainly paid off for Erection who now looked to have a magnificent wasp waist in his easy on the eye garment. Manopause unfortunately could not have got away with going undercover - his bulk more menacing than dainty.

Absolutely Not Fabulous was Only Here who caused a minor sensation when he strode purposely to the bar for a pre-run fuel injection - words can hardly describe the awful apparition. A popular pose for the locals (snapped with supporting guffaws and giggles) was the disastrous double pose with Red Plastic Bertrand.

Soapy had to take care bending over as her assets were in danger of spilling out but in stark contrast, Melon Picker's knees and unshaven legs fell foul of the style police and he was given a stern warning not to repeat the abomination.

Wetfart was most miffed at being singled out by Teapot for failing to be red dressed - reminding his old friend that he was wearing his red football socks.

Mouldy emerged from his chariot with a fetching red housecoat which conveniently could be unbuttoned for the run.

Manpig had the right idea with one of his lady wife's shoulder (Teddy) bare summer dresses though the length was a little longer than ideal for running.

U Bend was Pretty in Pink and Bobby Woll appeared to be attired in a red cordite casing sleeve.

SM Ellie looked cool in her orangey-red creation though BroadS was justifiably uneasy in his tight-fitting dress.

Archangel rode in largely unnoticed on his super bright red composite cycle.

All were winners on the night.

 

Longs to the left and shorts to the right and, almost reluctantly, the longs set off, hashers still making final adjustments to their attire. As early as the first check I had brewed up and was forced to go topless from the Red Plastic Bertrand number. Sporting an airy little halter-necked party dress, Runner Bean pranced away with returning Ollie and Beefy. A red-wigged Wiggy's boiling point was imminent  and other red dresses were changing to a darker shade. Drinkers now had an even greater running problem than usual.

 

Back to the run and the shorts merged with the longs as we hit the Newton road. An early pit stop saw the GM ushering his red army into the back of the Lord Nellie for a tiny tot before decanting out the front and resuming the trail. Manpig informed us that he'd seen marks below his abode and the make your minds up point came at the L/S split. Manpig peeled off to his house to resume and complete the long with SM Ellie as Red Plastic Bertrand, BroadS and Erection acknowledged the waves and beeps from passing motorists.

 

Down the Old Newton Road, cut back inside the Barn Owl and thankfully back to the Park with about a four miler barely survived. You can't beat a Gun Dog and oh boy, it really went down a treat as we gradually assembled outside for the barbie and Downdowns.

 

DOWNDOWNS AND OTHER AWARDS

Erection (Ceremonial Bat hat) to ONLY HERE/BEER for jumping out of a car and running into the car park as though he had run the trail.

Deep Semen (Horsey Horseface Hat) to BEEFY for failing to wear something red on the run - though he did afterwards.

Piltdown (Pillock/hashit shirt) to 3SUM for not stopping at her house for hospitality on this occasion.

NAMING of ALOE VERA ('Allo Vera?) to Soapy's grand daughter with Soapy nominated to take the DD.

NAMING of PARK & RIDE for the esteemed landlord of the Park Inn.

Various bottles to noted red dress wearers:

PALMOLIVE  (prettiest - no arguments there) WIGWAM (most fanciable!)  SOAPY (best underwear - as always)  LINDA or LIBBY sorry ladies unsure who. (best cape - Superwoman) ERECTION (GM's favourite) and finally to FORREST (best polka dots).

 

So many to thank for the evening and I'm sure I have forgotten some so apologies if I have, no disrespect intended.

 

Park & Ride and his loyal staff (T Humper included), Soapy for her cakes, I-Poo'd for alcoholic fudge, Zoot for earrings, every one of you who made the effort and last but definitely not least, our Grand Master Shitfaced.

 

A memorable event and one which Migman would have heartily applauded. Thank you GM.

 

ON ON to next week and Ipplepen Football Club TQ12 5TT with Wet Johnny & Co.