A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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TOUR DES RESERVOIRS WITH A SLIMMED DOWN ERECTION & A POKER FACED SEMEN

Run  #1803 Monday 15th July from Trenchford & Tottiford Reservoirs OD The Bridford Inn with Poacher & Deep Semen

Slowly did they trickle [sic] into the reservoir bridge car park which was soon full to overflowing [double sic] on a balmy evening for the continuing saga (some say charade) that is TVH. Forrest explained the reason for the heavily cratered and potholed eastern approach 'road' - it being unadopted, therefore not liable for council resurfacing and Bobby's Panzer would Shirley have perished here, Oh Dearly Suspension Smashed...

Evidently having the constitution of a cast iron cooking pot, Archangel managed (much to the surprise of T Humper) to make an appearance after reportedly downing double figures of pints at the Park on Sunday afternoon (cricket, you fools).

But never mind, the usual suspects and gang members did gaily cavort, mingle and gossip whilst an ever increasingly edgy Poacher kept muttering 'They've got a fair way to go, tell the GM to get going..'

Teapot duly declared that forty two were present, including two virgins, Kate and Edith, as well as returnees Getting Wet and Never Wet.
The Bestaffed One called his Merry Men & Women to order and manifold and mysterious were the messages that kept coming before mercifully, Deep Semen stepped up to the oche to deliver us all from Bananarama banality. 

With his utterance of a Magnificent Seven (1960) miler for the longs, he wuz Shirley preaching to the converted (FRBs you fools) but never mind, he added, 'It's all completely flat out there..' Well, nearly... and we were released into the wondrous Waterworld (1995) of the man made lakes..

Ready to RocknRolla (2008) were Flasher and a behorned Runner Bean who had already had a nice little three plus miler warm up from Bovey.

Mischievous indeed was Poacher's  indication of a Wong Wei from an early check - most longs were alerted and came back but Runner Bean and Manpig were out of earshot and Carried on Regardless (1961) Way Way Down into the boondocks before turning... sigh

After about two miles of scenic lakeside running, the dividing bridge betwixt Trenchford & Tottiford and the well-sited SS loomed.  A quick breather and off we set with just another five miles to gogo..

Up into the woods did we fearlessly foray Forrest, the scenery blurring with our perspiring tears and always omnipresent was the Deep Semen - studiously averting his gaze from the FRBs and their pleas for a pointer or three...

Tumbling down from a grassy lane, a crossroads of ultimate fear met our narrowed eyes. Beefy gave a thumbs down for the right and Flasher returned from the straight ahead saying it could be but it was so overgrown no marks could be seen. Shirley left was the only viable option and Flasher fled, a fast fading 'On one, on two' the only clues heard - and then, nothing. Flasher was last seen far away on the horizon, heading for the setting sun and cries of 'On YOU?' drifted unanswered on the wind. A second scout, Runner Bean was sent. 'On one, on two..' then an astonished 'A CROSS!!' Oh shamelessly feast in the Great Hall of Infamy, Flasher..*

Back we staggered to meet a tiny knot of longs awaiting wisdom - and a rather smug looking Semen.. HA!
Softly, softly, catch an FRB was SM Ellie who had a stress free Serena** as the snarling former FRBs were relegated to the longs.

Many a twist, turn and adventure followed, but I must report on gladiatorial glory seen along the highways and byways, Oh Dearly Didn't They Do Well..
Chasing after Mawgan (off the lead) Soapy was going like the clappers and the Wigster was wiggling well after stopping the rot. Ex Bolivian Boy Wet Johnny was starting to run lean and mean but the real eye-opener was Erection. After losing over two stone (and climbing) this was a running revelation revealed and now Team Penner Shirley is mob-handed with running (and drinking) ability.

A glazed-eyed Flasher rejoined the Fray Bentos but was now limping and only firing on three cylinders..

More mayhem materialised in a far flung field where an errant arrow sent Chief Scout Beefy on a wild goose chase as Deep Semen and his gleeful band of hangers-on continued the other way... sigh, we've been had again lads..

The only climb of note up Commons Hill brought us all back together and now it was down to the reservoirs again with BroadS feeling lucky, kicking in the turbo, the rotter.

Most Stravas read mid six miles though Flasher and Runner Bean reached ten plus and then it was pothole time again.  Without the lads navigating, I confess that I wouldn't have found the Bridford Inn, such were the tortuous twists en routey.

Ale of choice was the Exeter Brewery's Ferryman 4.2 abv and we were well looked after by the pub with a hash menu to boot.

Forrest was, uncharacteristically, in sombre mood at the bar. Languishing with his long-lasting back injury, his spirits were raised [sic] when Archangel got him a whisky pain-killer.

Well hares, we really loved the trail and what a beautiful evening to drink in the scenery.  There were few gimmes at the checks and Deep Semen kept us guessing for much of the trail - which is how it should be, I grudgingly concede.  Te saluto! I salute thee, Deep Semen & the Poach.

* It looked so good when I was writing it in delirium at 4 am
** Williams, No? Well please...

WINFIELD'S WISDOM & DOWNDOWNS
#1803 Mon 15th July at Trenchford Reservoir, high amongst the hills and forests above the Teign Valley, with Hares Deep Semen & Poacher.There were at lest 3 possible routes to the circle, where at least 40 keen Hashers did eventually find this secluded spot. It was a great sunny evening where the hares had laid several great trails around this very scenic area and later at OD Bridford Inn Bridford there was good food and a beer before it was time for the "Offenders" to step forward for their Awards....

DEEP SEMEN for (still) maintaining a poker face when asked for information on Trail!
ERECTION who was noted for his fast improving speed by a very concerned Bluebird!!
PILTDOWN MAN whose satnav setup took him in all possible directions around the area.
T.HUMPER who poured water over herself to give an extreme performance look before she finished.

ON ON to next week's eagerly anticipated RED DRESS RUN & BBQ from the Park Inn, Kingskerswell TQ12 5BQ with Shitfaced

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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