Run #1815 Monday 7th October from the Lord Nelson with GM Shitfaced assisted/steered by T Humper
Shirley
it couldn't be another soggy short straw lay for the third week
running [sic] as the intrepid hares set out out at 1 pm Monday
afternoon under leaden skies. However, the hash gods on high did pause
from their mischief making and the rains relented, Oh Dearly Give
thanks...
A
most valuable tip by the Grand Master was the late advice: 'Give
yourself a bit extra time to find parking in surrounding roads!!' No
luxury of the Park's car park here and I fear-ed the worst as I nosed
over the sleeping policemen approach - but what's this - a space in the
tiny three space 'car park' next to the Nellie? Shirley not! A check
inside to ensure I was allowed to tether my chariot at point blank range
and snug and smug indeedy was the Bat. Teapot had also secured a spot
above road next to the toilets in 'We'll tow you away if we're
passing' territory.
Back
and forth the chariots charged on their Ben Hur stadium sillies,
describing ever increasing circles as they sought sanctuary, but
eventually all were safely gathered in to finally make the circle
outside the Nellie. Hallelujah!
The
main guard of the hash was sorely depleted for one reason or another:
Nary a Flying FRB sighted; Parkies unavailable as T Humper on Park duty
and just a solitary Penner flying the Ipplepen pennant. But never mind,
cometh the circle, came the extras and many an unfamiliar face surfaced
to be noted in Teapot's roll.
Forty five at the circle with three late arrivals making forty eight in total:
GM
Shitfaced, Winfield, Piltdown, Georgy, Pork Torpedo, Hornie, Teapot,
Beefy, SM Ellie, Pan Fart, Bush Baby, Martin - yes, he came back,
Grinder - nice to see you old son, Fukarwi, Prickly Bush, 3Sum, SatNav,
Doris, Rambo, Hagen Daz, Budgie Smuggler, Zorro - he of Kirton not AH,
Wet Johnny, TT, Mark, GaGa4It sporting another fine headwear creation,
Kermit - hi, Big End, Well Hopped, Soapy, Melon Picker, Man Pig,
Wigwam, Able, virgins three - Josh was one, sorry couldn't get the
others, BB, Zoot, Hotlips, U Bend and Coldtits were the forty two
identified from Beefy's footage though still half a dozen escaped my scrutiny..
Our
glorious leader delivered his Waterloo epic spiel and all listened
intently to the call to battle: A long, a short and a walkers' trail;
two L/S splits; a SS AND a drinks stop.. it seemed more than reasonable
and we were directed onto the stage to play out the drama, seemingly
Fluder bound..
The
Bat, aided and abatted [sic] by Big End and his trusty steed Ned, led
the eager hash up the giddy Fluder ascent in true Grand Old Duke of York
fashion.
Proudly
did we advance, the longs with banners unfurled in all their fighting
glory and magnificently did Brigadier Beefy surge past and we roared our
defiance at battle joined but, alas, it was not to be, Oh Dearly
Thwarted...
An
absence of marks slowed the charge and suddenly a turn-off at the
bottom of the hill was recalled. Wheeling our snorting steeds, the fatal
cry of 'ON BACK!' was bugle blown and with barely concealed snarls of
rage, we thundered back down the hill. Curses, you Grand Old Duke,
foiled again.
A
sharp descent down darkest Daccombe Mill Lane sorted the knights from
the squires and then came the gentle ascent up Willowpark Lane to - yes,
Oh Dearly We Should Have Known, the top of Fluder Hill.. sigh.
Fishbait set Small Fry on me as I overtook, hissing 'Get him!' and the little lad only did and I was lucky to get away from the little terrier.
Fishbait set Small Fry on me as I overtook, hissing 'Get him!' and the little lad only did and I was lucky to get away from the little terrier.
The
Fluder debacle had really roughed up the order of play and the FRBs and
longs were spread out in great disarray. A heavy clattering of hooves
astern just wouldn't go away and I greatly feared that Fukarwi had
been putting in the miles again, but no, it was Wet Johnny 'aving a
gogo. The Penner three - WJ, Manopause and Erection were on some sort of
drastic weight-loss/get-fit mission and a slimmed-down WJ was already
ready to rumble. Yet another approaching foot fall saw Grinder gently
glide past on the incline.
Found out later that Well Hopped continues to have injury problems after her fall a fortnight ago - hope it gets better soon.
Darkest
Daccombe and caliginous Coffinswell came and went with Manpig scouting
well until choosing wrong and was shuffled to the rear of the
vanguard. Late arrival Coldtits suddenly appeared at the business end
of the run, goodness knows how she had managed that manouevre.
Going
off-road near Paraprick's drum and there he was, walking the dogs and
had a quick word as we passed - Para and Maverick (yes, long time no
see, old buddy) dropped by at the Nellie later.
Fleeing
downhill betwixt the quarries, the FRBs WJ, Grinder and Beefy Mustaffa
[Shirley sic] thought that the end was nigh and I requested an abandon
ship at the Park turn-off, fearing that I would catch a chill if I
tarried at the drinks stop too long. Beefy nodded assent and half a
mile later the Nelson loomed large with, as the hare had foretold, a
fivish or so miles in the bag but, and it was a big BUT Beefy, I had
missed the last L/S split and two miles of the long trail and was
ignominiously relegated to the ranks of the shorts and walkers, oh the
shame of it Shirley.. sigh.
The
ever lurking whatamistakatomaka moment occurred as I vainly scoured
the boot for a change of trainers, but being of unsound mind, I had
forgotten my Blue Suede fliers and trying hard to look casual entered
the pub sans footwear...Shirley they would not notice..
'Barefoot
in the Park' (1967) would Shirley have been a triumph at our venue
down the road a ways but we'll have to make do with Barefoot in the
Nelson even though it doesn't have the same ring, Oh Dearly So Nearly a
Classic...
First
business of the evening is to inspect and choose the ale and next to
the reliable London Pride the Naked Ladies caught my eye, as they
Shirley do and I had to have one, the ale that is, but now you're
getting me confused Oh Dearly Obsessed. Gentleman Fukarwi asked if he
could have a Twickenham Ale rather than a Naked Lady - well you know
what I mean. I wish I hadn't embarked on the Naked Ladies galore theme
now..
The Grand Master and T Humper (trail and SS/shot stop at the Park) did us proud and the TVH hares' success story continues.
POSTSCRIPT
A
bit of banter en routey: 'They couldn't have designed a better trail
for me, love it!' quoth So Cruise to Wet Johnny. 'A good trail is when I
don't have to listen to you!' came the biting rejoinder. Oh well,
he's probably right and I can see you nodding agreement out there.
Lovely evening GM, thank you..
WINFIELD'S TRAIL MEMORIES
Memories of trail 1815, on 7th October from The Lord Nelson Kingskerswell with Hare:Shitfaced and T.Humper!
First
problem, where to park? ( no multistory yet!), experience here required
an early arrival,which many of us remembered! even then it was a good
walk from our final space!.
Another
great turnout with more virgin Hashers joining in, as we headed off on
a testing run up Fluder Hill, missing a turn into Daccombe! lane. It
was On-On,on a very warm evening towards Coffinswell the long taking
on 7 miles while the Walkers and Short did somewhat less thankfully!
An
extra virgin trail! led us in through the front door of The Park Inn,
with the Sweet and Drinks stop at the rear carefully set up by
T.Humper. Refreshed hic! a final run in led to the Lord Nelson, with
for more revving drinks plus an an excellent Chili con carne.
Offenders this evening were:-
FUKAWE- arriving very early and still missed a good parking spot!.
GA-Ga 4it- with matching blue nails! did not finish her DD, but hopefully remembered where her car was parked!
BLUEBIRD cannot believe it! another DD for keeping the carpet clean!
KERMIT waiting now, for that big moment after his speedy run.
3-SUM admires her 100runs achievement!
A great evening well done the Hares!
On-On to next week at The Church House Inn Marldon (TQ3 1SL) with Hares Piltdown Man & Georgy P-Orgy
