A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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WATER WATER EVERYWHERE, A LARGE DEAD BIRD - BUT THE JOINT WAS ROCKING

Run #1814 Monday 30th September Oktoberfest  from the Taphouse, Newton Abbot with Wigwam

Shirley the end of the world is nigh, Oh Dearly Barely Afloat and the soggy short straw theme for the hares continued unabated from last week.

Hashers monitored the weather carefully to see if they should 'risk it' but the lure of a Wiggster Oktoberfest at a brand new venue eventually overrode concerns of a drenching at Newton Abbot on Sea.

The first sign of Water, Water, Everywhere* was the plethora of warning lights that blinked alarmingly on my chariot's dashboard after snorkelling through flooded lanes en routey. The lads (69, Beefy and actual motor expert Pan Fart) gave the reassuring verdict that it probably wasn't terminal and by now it had actually stopped raining, Oh Hallelujah chorus hit me with your rhythm stick, hit me.

The entrance to the Taphouse proved elusive and we peered into windows searching for signs of life. The dimly lit alley was a muggers' paradise and only shadowy figures could be counted but the roll of forty two was mighty encouraging - including virgins two. Whether these are the forty two is another matter, but I have tried:

Grand Master Shitfaced, Piltdown, Georgy, Winfield, Doris,T Humper, I-Poo'd, 3Sum, Pan Fart, Bush Baby, virgins Martin, Lou, Big End, Well Hopped, Fishbait, Small Fry, Gaga4It, Wetfart, Teapot, Artful Dogger, Plonker, Beefy, Fukarwi, Prickly Bush, Wide Receiver, Manpig, Pork Torpedo, Hornie, Wigwam, BB, Melon Picker, Soapy, Wet Johnny, Archangel, Able, 69, SM Ellie, Zoot, Nikki, Mark, Broads and Only Here for the Beer,

A star-studded cast of FRBs lurked in the darkness and I decided that this was not the night for the winter warmers and stripped off for action, Oh Dearly Once More Unto the Breach...

The riddle of the entrance was solv-ed when two young ladies appeared and entered the premises - for a few seconds we thought they were yon virgins for our edification but sadly not..

Soapy had some On On car stickers and two virgins were indoctrinated by the venerable Teapot before the author of the Oktoberfest was summoned. Despite getting a right royal soaking laying in the afternoon's deluge, the Wig-Meister had created three trails and a SS on some far flung promontory way out in the boondocks.  The long was estimated at about four miles and the charge of the French cavalry, Crecy style, across the playing field duly commenced the action.

A devious check-festooned alley chase ensued and resulted with Plonker, Artful Dogger Wet Johnny, Manpig, Beefy, Wide. Big End and Well Hopped being shepherded back by the hare who had indeedy headed us off at the pass: 'You're on the wrong trail!' were prophetic words and would echo in my ears very shortly.

The fire station would decide my destination and fate - Wet Johnny was alongside as we smashed across the roundabout and my tunnel vision espied a procession of hashers turning down onto the river bank.  Braking hard, I nearly ran into Teapot: 'I've never been down here before!' Round the corner and an awful sight revealed the serried ranks of the shorts and walkers completely blocking the narrow path. As stated at the DDS, sincere apologies for the unruly intervention, shorts and walkers all.

Meanwhile, the 'genuine' trail saw the FRBs and longs who had read the script, cascade around Jetty Marsh Nature Reserve. Career their names with pride for they Shirley knew what they were doing unlike the befuddled Bat and, as I learnt later, Manpig, who also wove an errant passage around the maze of paths.  We cannot blame the absence of marks as they endured throughout - oh yes, dear Wiggers, you did your job well.

With apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson, I give you The Charge of the Lone Long Hasher

“Forward, the lone long”
Was there a hasher dismayed?
Not though the hasher knew
Someone had blundered.
His not to make reply,
His not to reason why,
His but to hash and die.
Into the Towpath of Death
Hurtled the lone long.

No? Well...

Still convinced that I was on the long and the shorts/walkers had been planted to give us a laugh, I weaved through with that gent Piltdown moving aside to aid my passage. But never mind, back to the hash proper..

Artful Dogger had a nasty surprise when he ran into a large dead bird (no jokes please) just hanging around (from a bridge) and immediately Thomas Cooked (I know, they've ceased trading but so had Artful Dogger after the unwelcome encounter) a TB and cholera booster jab.

Lost count of the traversed bridges and on clearing the Penn Inn roundabout I thought my luck had changed when I saw a group of runners ahead and somehow convinced myself that SM Ellie was with them.  Quite an effort to reel them in only to discover they were Teignbridge Trotters.. long sigh.

Met the shorts head on (again) with Wetfart reminding me that 'You're a Pillock, Bluebird!' and was despairing until a eureka moment as the long trail mystically opened up ahead.

By the time I had reached the SS, they had shut up shop and moved on. Another sigh. Came across Melon Picker and Soapy in a huddle and found out later she had suffered a cut on trail.

The joint was rockin', going round and round by the time the longs trickled into the Taphouse.  After all his mighty deeds, Wiggy and Mrs S were at last relaxing and enjoying the fruits of his considerable labour - both the trail and cooking the various Oktoberfest offerings - and all at a bargain three sovs agogo.

Our delectable hostesses, Alyssia and Naressa dispensed the beer: Ground Control and Red Rock Drift Wood being tipples of choice.

That alternative song-meister Wetfart got the apr├Ęs downdowns ditties going with renditions of 'I'm a lumberjack' (my hat and Fukarwi's jacket inspired), 'And them good old boys were drinking whiskey 'n rye' and of course a revamped 'Bobby Woll, Bobby Woll...'

Newbie Martin, brought along by Pan Fart and Bush Baby, though not fully getting to grips with the run, had no difficulty understanding how the On Down and beer drinking went. The lad is a natural, I'm telling you.

Chief RA Manpig was in scintillating form and a good time was undoubtedly had by all who braved the biblical end of days flood.

To sum up, an unpredictable and excellent evening, courtesy of our Wiggy.

*The Rime of the Ancient Mariner ring a bell?

WINFIELD'S ADVENTURES
Memories of #1814 into Darkness and Floods from The Maltings Taphouse Newton Abbot with Hare Wigwam. On-On headed the large pack after a very wet and stormy afternoon.

A remarkable trail for L,S & W around Newton Abbot with the Longs heading on,while the Short turned to the river, where Wigwam had only just handed me the Stollen "sweet stop" instruction when my head-torch died!

I attempted follow Melon Picker as we wove our way along the river bank in the dark with the raging flood water only inches away! I did manage to him keep in sight just! as we finally reached the chosen "Stop" under the 380 road bridge, beyond which the way was totally flooded!

Not long after this as I reached the footbridge I discovered the car fob was missing from my pocket This could have been a disaster but fortunately after a short search back, there it was on the path thank goodness!

Back at the Taphouse a warm welcome, good drinks and for some good food, although after my delayed experiences a packet of crisps was all that was left, but good enough!

Awards for the evening were presented by Manpig to....
Wigwam for that dodgy river bank trail!
Fukawe who mistook Hornie for his partner!
Winfield for nearly losing his car key!
Piltdown being a gentleman, as Bluebird forced his way past along the towpath
Wet Fart who took a short cut AGAIN!
To Nickie a naming now to be known as..T T. something to do with tickler !

A great evening well done Wigwam!

On On to next week - definitely at The Lord Nelson Kingskerswell (TQ12 5JB) Hare: Shitfaced. route available to guide you from home now on South West Hashing Diary.

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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