Run #1833 Monday 10th February 'Love Trail' from the Manor Inn at Galmpton with Coldtits & Shitfaced
The weather bit savage again Monday eve with plummeting temperatures and the threat of icy showers. Little wonder then that numbers were markedly down cometh the love circle out in gibbous Galmpton. Lurgy bound hashers also had to cry off as the love starved stalwarts assembled and were recorded thus Oh Dearly Now It's Time To Love (Red Velvet):
GM Shitfaced, Teapot, Piltdown, Georgy, 3Sum, SatNav, SM Ellie, Fallen Woman, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Erection, 69, Only Here 4 Beer, Dog End, McMuffin, Weenie Whopper, Coldtits, Wigwam, Stung Down Under, virgins Ryan and Kelvin, Able, Big End, Well Hopped, Roger, Polyfella and BB. Twenty seven lovers all told.
Pre-circle titillation ensued when Wet Johnny beckoned Coldtits with a suggestive 'Look what I've got for you..' then raising his fluorescent jacket to reveal - oh horror of horrors - a pair of leering eyes astride his Love Gun (Kiss) red love flashy shorts. Dialogue cannot do justice to the awful scene though taken aback were those that witnessed the opening love gambit...Score a bonus point WJ with your Look of Love (Burt Bacharach).
Wind chill took the temperature well below 39f and the lovelorn lovelies listened with shuffling feet to the Maestro Himself who explained what was on the Love Menu this frosty night.
Two L/S splits, a short and a walkers' trail with a Love SS along the byways, the GM adding that prizes would be forthcoming later on and the tiny band was scattered three ways: Longs to the left, shorts to the right and walkers straight on...
The Love Long Distance (The Gossip) longs comprising Wet Johnny, Manopause, Erection, Big End, Well Hopped, Kelvin and Polyfella went Pete Tong and Wong Wei turning left across the common but regained the trail back outside the Manor Inn.
Big End shouted 'Man down' as an injured hasher - Where Did Our Love Go (The Supremes) peeled off for the beer - remember to always inform a buddy if you can't continue.
The Love Table SS, well adorned with red cloth and hearts galore was a little sparsely attended - perhaps a tad too far for the Lovers Walk walkers (Elvis Costello & the Attractions) and Love Gun WJ was given the blame for leading some of the longs past the SS at a partially smudged marker.
Poor Well Hopped suffered a tumble in some far flung field and the following love songs can but console her: Can't Help Falling In Love (Elvis) or I'll Never Fall In Love Again (Tom Jones) or Love Hurts (Nazareth) or Fallen In Love (Alice Cooper) and Why Do Fools Fall in Love (Diana Ross). No? Well....
It was snug back at the Love Shack (The B-52's) (Manor Inn you fools) and a sharp shower - I Love a Rainy Night (Eddie Rabbitt) made the bar look mighty attractive. No contest for the best dressed hasher with our Grand Master natty in whistle and flute plus red snooker waistcoat - contrasting sharply with the Penners who preferred ultra casual Bermudas and flip-flops in deepest winter....sigh
Three harriets were mentioned in despatches: Love harriet with blonde tresses and candy stripe schoolgirl stockings - ah, I remember a girlfriend from my schooldays in 1944 well.. I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. A red check trousered chick who was the life and soul of the 'Love-in' and a pretty party dressed harriet. You know who you were ladies.
Well, there we have it my little lovebirds everywhere so Goodnight My Love (Jesse Belvin) and happy Valentine's Day upcoming. As young 69 said 'I felt the love man'.
Well, there we have it my little lovebirds everywhere so Goodnight My Love (Jesse Belvin) and happy Valentine's Day upcoming. As young 69 said 'I felt the love man'.
*Robert Palmer
AWARDS
WELL HOPPED (white bat hat) A Victim of Love (Erasure) for taking a tumble.
WET JOHNNY (vampire bat hat) A Look of Love (Burt Bacharach) and for leading some of the longs away from the SS - but making it himself!
ABLE Lost Love (Judas Priest) who went to the wrong pub.
PRIZE WINNERS
BIG END Love Survive (Michael Nau) the Love Survival kit
ONLY HERE 4 BEER & DOG END the Candlelit Romantic Dinner for two.
POSTSCRIPT
A real Labour Of Love (Hue & Cry) by hares Coldtits and Shitfaced who were hampered by Sunday's Storm Ciara, forcing a partial lay Saturday and again on the Monday reinstating washed out marks. A hard core 'love-in' tarried a while after the hash proper had departed and it was a Proper Job (even at £4:20 a pint) evening. Virgin Kelvin travelled 36 miles from Saltash and 69 continues to support many a TV hash from up on Dartmoor even though he seldom has the opportunity to get to the pub after the run - well done both of you.
Apologies for the brief words this week as I was unable to complete the trail.
A real Labour Of Love (Hue & Cry) by hares Coldtits and Shitfaced who were hampered by Sunday's Storm Ciara, forcing a partial lay Saturday and again on the Monday reinstating washed out marks. A hard core 'love-in' tarried a while after the hash proper had departed and it was a Proper Job (even at £4:20 a pint) evening. Virgin Kelvin travelled 36 miles from Saltash and 69 continues to support many a TV hash from up on Dartmoor even though he seldom has the opportunity to get to the pub after the run - well done both of you.
Apologies for the brief words this week as I was unable to complete the trail.
Must love you and leave you now..
ON ON to next week Monday 17th from The Kings Arms, Kingsteignton TQ12 3EG Circle 7:15 with Hares Fishbait & Small Fry
