#1834 Monday 17th February from the King's Arms at Kingsteignton with Fishbait & Small Fry
A fair to middlin' turnout from the King's Arms car park but at least it wasn't raining:
GM Shitfaced, I-Poo'd, Teapot, Piltdown, Georgie, Check Mate, Big End, Well Hopped, Ollie, Ellie, Fukarwi came back at last, Manpig, Wet Johnny, Erection, Manopause, Fishbait, Small Fry, Knotty, Soapy, Palmolive, Allo Vera, Wash 'n ' Go, Poles Piddler, Coldtits, Only Here, Dog End, McMuffin Weeny Whopper, Mouldy, Popeye, 69, Able, Hotlips, Zoot, BroadS, Doris, 3Sum, SatNav, Forrest, Pisswell and BB 41 all told with Melon Picker and Bobby making the pub later.
However, I really don't want to discuss the weather after Saturday's near death experience, but after witnessing the deluge decided that the trail shoes would be wisest and promptly left them on the draining board... sigh. So only had the one pair of road shoes to go out and play in.
The pub CP was soon rammed to capacity with latecomers in Ever Decreasing Circles Desperately Seeking (Susan) a space.
Fishbait and Small Fry arrived just before the circle with the glad tidings: A long, a short, a walkers' with one L/S split and a SS and, as no-one wanted to call the 'off' I legged it stage left from the tunnel of fear.
Abandoning after only a mile the previous week, I couldn't help thinking that a similar fate awaited early on, but with growing confidence, there was little sign of the injury and working on the adage 'you're only young once' I had agogo..
Up to the church and the longs began to form up. Wet Johnny was cruising in the van (vanguard you fools not a van van) baby and that rascal Popeye must have felt lucky as he was bang there with a neon FRB flashing on his back. Manpig, without the weakener of an A-B was looking good and it was going pretty well I thought. How wrong I was though...
Flat and good footing as we cruised over the Town Quay Bridge with a strong sense of deja vu.
First mistaka occurred when WJ and the Bat missed the trail by the River Lemon and had to play catch up.
Not so much traction along the side of Whitelake and the lonesome Bat emerged onto the Avenue roundabout to see Fishbait and the little fella waiting across the road - was this the mythical site of the SS Oh Dearly Where are My Berties?
It was here Oh Dearly I'm Going To Tell You a Sad Story that my destiny was seal-ed.
Being old and hard of hearing, I thought that Fishbait said 'At the flooded bridge go up into the woods' and armed with that info, I set off with hope in my heart plus a desire to get back to the longs.
Threading my back and there was Fukarwi and BroadS chatting away and further ahead Manopause, Erection, Forrest and Muttley HA!
Then loom-ed a flooded section and there seemed to be a turn up into the woods - so Shirley this was the place foretold? With a cry of triumph the Bat ascended to meet his destiny. At the summit, an awful vista unfolded... A taunting cry 'ON ON' came from WJ on the OTHER side of a Stalag style perimeter fence. 'Where are the marks?' did cry Manopause and the wiser headed ones turned.
However Trevor, the Bat was sticking to the plan - 'I swear I can get through!' and down to the seven foot razor-tipped fence he plunged. Skirting the fence it looked like it was only going to work but then a wall of brambles barred the way. No way out, no way out* and the expletive echoed for miles..
Guffaws aplenty from the other side and that was that. Whatamistakatomaka...
Then the Hash gods did frown and the heavens opened with the everlasting and inevitable downpour and my right calf muscle went into spasm. It was good to be alive.
But there's always a game to play on any hash and there were other hashers following. Deciding to go long were Well Hopped and little Ollie who was preparing for an upcoming 10k run. Only ten years old, the little lad was game as a pebble and wanted to make 5 miles on the run. Loitering outside the King's Arms, Piltdown watched in bewilderment as the trio of hashers went up and down the road past him three times to get the 5 mile readout.
An excellent run Fishbait and Small Fry and I can see the funny side of my detour now.
The King's Arms was packed with footie followers and the DDs were commenced at the half time interval in case some were displeased. Only there for the beer Bobby was spotted sporting a bleached perm and was swiftly summoned forward for the outrage. The sarnies and chips were plentiful and after Forrest had bought me a pint of Otter Reggae 4.0 abv I was converted from the Legend for the duration.
Did we have fun? Shirley yes, thanks Fishbait & Small Fry.
* The Producers 1967
DOWNDOWNS & AWARDS
SMALL FRY (White Bat Hat) for his efforts laying the trail
BLUEBIRD possibly for going off trail
MANOPAUSE for comments about Able's sex potions
BOBBY WOLL for his white perm
POPEYE has his 50 run badge at last
ON ON to next week from Newtons Free House. Birthday Hash Highweek Rd, Newton Abbot TQ12 1TP Circle 7:15 with Hare Wigwam, for his 69th Birthday Celebration.
