A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Pages (when clicked the item will appear at the bottom of the page - click home to return)

TRAILS OF THE UNEXPECTED

Run #1835 Monday 24th February Wiggy's 69th Birthday Hash from Newtons Free House, Newton Abbot
 
Another wicked Wiggster Birthday Trail and you'd better beware when you go down to the woods tonight, t't't teddy bears everywhere...
 
But patience, mes Misérables munchkins, we'll get to the woods a bit later Shirley.
 
'Here is where we will be and car parking shouldn't be a problem'... Thus spoke the Wally and Shirley Chaos was her name when the Bat arriv-ed to take his assured spot in the upper car park - NOT! Jam-packed it was as were the roads roundabout and thereabouts. Forced to repair the Batmobile to Wolborough car park half a mile away, I wuz legging it back when Piddler picked me up. The Piddler was not taking no as an answer and found a space recently vacated, Oh Luck of the Irish.
 
Teapot called it at thirty five and I believe I can name the shigateers plus two for luck:
 
GM Shitfaced, Teapot, Piltdown, Georgy, I-Poo'd, T Humper, Soapy, Melon Picker, Artful Dogger, Plonker, Wet Johnny, Erection, Able, Coldtits, 3Sum, SatNav, Wetfart, Bobby Woll, Wiggy69, Poles Piddler, Fukarwi, Forrest, Popeye, Well Hopped, Big End, Fishbait, Small Fry, Archangel, Fallen Woman, Broken Man, Manpig, Strap-On, SM Ellie, virgin, Gaga4It, Triple Jump, BB 37
 
Arriving a tad late for the circle (legged it back down to Wolborough CP to fetch the chariot) I missed some of the preamble but was in time for the Birthday Wiggster's spiel. Trails three there Shirley were - a long of 6.9 M, a short of 6.9 KM and a walkers' of 6.9 furlongs... No? Well that's wot he said, don't shoot the messenger please. Oh, nearly forgot, a SS somewhere along the way. 
 
I suspected this might be a toughie (as was the Wiggster's wont on his Birthday ritual) the way that he smiled thinly and said: 'You longs are really going to enjoy the trail...' And we were pointed down the hill and released on our 'Almost no hills and nearly dry underfoot' trail... sigh
 
A large group of wannabe longs gathered at the first check: Manpig, Well Hopped, Big End, WJ, Erection, Artful Dogger, Plonker, Fukarwi, Forrest, Popeye, Fishbait, Small Fry, Strap-On and SM Ellie and it wasn't long before we hit the muddy slopes. It was happening fast out there and you had to react accordingly. Artful Dogger went sharply left calling ON ON as the main body of the longs kept smashing right. Fukarwi and the Bat followed the Artful speed machine but we came unstuck in Bakers Park and had to return to seek assistance from the Birthday Boyo. Well Hopped and Ned doggedly [Shirley sic] headed on out towards Bradley Manor before giving it best and wheeling.
 
Up to Wolborough Church we trekked and a horrible suspicion form-ed as I recalled 'Shoeless and Clueless on the Wig Wam Wiggle' exactly a year ago. It was there that the hash was led through the field forever known as the 'Slurry with the Flour on top'.
 
Well, Fukarwi, me old mucker [sic you fools] I was right, we did venture into the Slurry with the Flour on Top - even though there was a pernicious cross just past the deepest part....grrrrr. That was nasty Wiggy, really nasty.
 
Undeterred, the pioneers wended back to the church and there was quite a gathering awaiting the scouts' return.
 
Down the Coach Road it was - to the next 'minor' test. HA!
 
Manpig knew it and the Bat knew it - Killer Hill alongside Decoy Brake. Halfway up a wounded and half dead warrior lifted his head and entreated the gods on high: 'Is that all you've got Wiggy, IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT!'
 
Two tests down and just one more to gogo - the Teddy Bears Picnic in the woods...
 
By now, the longs were just that, strung out with mighty gaps between hashers and confusion, never far away return-ed heavily tinged with mud.
 
On a descent of hellish mud, Able and Gaga4It hove into view and appeared to be trying to scramble up a near vertical side of the bank though I couldn't see any form of path. They didn't seem to be on any part of the 'official' trail and were evidently intent on finding the exit from Doomsday Wood. Ladies, I would have stopped to offer assistance but I was having some difficulty navigating the trail myself as other longs (Coldtits, Popeye and Fukarwi to name but three) would testify.
Able and Gaga4It weren't alone in their Trails of the Unexpected* however, as an even stranger trail tale emerged post hash.
 
Wet Johnny and Plonker had also erred from the trail and had come across 3Sum who was mixing short and long trails and had somehow departed from the play grid. It was difficult to comprehend what was going on as the shorts and longs came charging out onto the trail from right angles. Then again, just as strange was Fukarwi, washing the mud from his legs although there was plenty more to come... sigh.

A veritable Piccadilly Circus was the flatlands of Bradley woods as WJ, Plonker, Artful Dogger, 3Sum, SatNav, Piltdown and Georgie converged with Fukarwi, Erection and the Bat. Shirley a triumph by the hare some four miles into the trail.
 
It was a relief to get onto tarmac and actually run but suddenly there was Wigwam at the SS wondering why we hadn't got there sooner... sigh.
 
Mention must be made of Coldtits who arrived in the pub as the DDs were taking place. She had tarried by the river (Lemon) crossing as she had heard the frog frenzy mating calls and taken some photos (one inserted below).
 
With apologies to W H Davies:
 
'What is this hash, if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs and stare as longs at sheep or cows'.
 
No more surprises and gently did we glide back down the hill to the pubberino. Bobby was just entering sporting some fine bright white tennis shoes. 'I'll have a Spitfire Bob, see you in two shakes..'
 
Newtons Free House was ours to enjoy, tables and bar with Wiggy69 enjoying the fruits of his labour with that so well-earned beer.
 
The disco music was playing a favourite and the Bat went a dancing, completely oblivious that Fishbait was filming from the bar. You missed my best moves Shirley.
 
A great trail and I for one, was pleased as Punch to get round it and all that did are to be congratulated. It wasn't for the faint-hearted was it?
 
Quite a Night to Remember for 3Sum, Able and Gaga4It on their Trails of the Unexpected and they managed to go nearly as far as the longs in the end!
 
Well done Wiggy, old lad, and many more of these Birthday hashes to come!
 
*Didulikethat? No? Well...
 
WIGGY69 DOWNDOWNS directed by Fallen Woman
ERECTION (White Bat) for swerving round a hasher and slipping up.
DANCING BAT (Ceremonial Bat) awarded in absentia by Small Fry for diabolical parking.
FORREST (Hashit Pillock shirt) a revenge DD by Bobby Woll who had to have his hair cut after snide comments.
WIGWAM of course for his killer trail and 69 Birthday.
 
ON ON to next week and The Lord Nelson Kingskerswell (TQ12 5JB) 7:15pm with Hare Shitfaced

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C sadly not with us

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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