'Manpig laid a runners' seven
Which nearly sent the Bird to heaven'
Over the Kinky Kinkerswell [sic] speed humps
did the Swing Low Sweet Chariot trundle and as the Nellie was
approached, a waving figure came into focus. It was young 69 who had
arriv-ed early to Thomas Cook his parking space on the oasis pavement
outside the loo (and preferred option for Teapot). Not wishing to risk
it and go as a biscuit, mine chariot U-turned back to the exclusive
three chariot tether alongside the pub.
The landlord's head peered over the gate to
give permission for the space of spaces to be occupied. Five minutes
later and the GM slotted seamlessly in behind. HA! Shirley the plan was
coming together, Oh Dearly Don't You Love It.
There was nary a sign of Hare Manpig (way out
on trail) as the tiny band's numbers were swelled with B Roads Hit*,
Strap-On and Coldtits (shedding the pounds impressively) - joining the
GM, I-Poo'd, 69 and T Humper. Sunglasses were needed as SM Ellie dazzled
with a bright orange glow tee shirt.
The Flying FRBs, Flasher, Plonker and Artful
Dogger appeared line abreast like gunfighters at High Noon and the game
was Shirley a foot** Oh Dearly Ready to Rock 'n' stroll.
A slightly confused roll call but the
participants
tentatively identified as follows: GM Shitfaced, T Humper, I-Poo'd,
Flasher,
Plonker, Artful Dogger, BB, Beefy, BroadS, SM Ellie, Strap-On, Pisswell,
Coldtits, 69, Piltdown, Wiggy (Hi! you're back at last!), Wetfart,
Archangel and Manpig. 3Sum (welcome back) and Slip on Me made the pub
afterwards.
It was now gone 7:20 pm and with still no
sign of the hardy hare but armed with the knowledge that the first L/S
split was at the foot of Fluder, the GM sent the longs on their way.
The watch was tardy acquiring the GPS and a
fifty metre start was gifted to the gunfighters... sigh. It really was
demoralizing watching the lads disappear up Fluder and I thought it was a
case of drawing the short straw Shirley - on my lonesome for six miles
was a bitter pill to swallow so early in the run..
Meanwhile, B Roads Hit also faced a lonely run and set off solo at his
Sunday best stroll. Just after two miles, a patter of feet heralded the
cavalry in the shape of - Here's Beefy! The daring duo did doddle down***
the rest of the trail together. Well done lads!
But never mind, back at the sharp end and
atop Fluder the first check halted the charge and contact was
reestablished. Along the 'Kerswell Road we coursed with the first
(pleasant) surprise as we dropped down below the Holiday Park onto the
bridlepath cum cycle/scramble bike path. A fallen tree blocked the path
but gosh and by golly, we hadn't been down here for decades!
Descending onto Brown Bridge Road and the
Young Guns had to be called back to go straight across into the path
with the 'Road Closed' sign - Manpig had to check whether it really was
and then go back to lay.
Crossing the Newton Road, the hare had us
guessing before we turned off into Edginswell Lane and at the three mile
mark the shorts were encountered - giving the lie to the Nellie's
landlord's pre-trail comment of the Grand Master not going anywhere! GM
Shitfaced turned: 'There's Bluebird hanging on for dear life!' Too true
Blue, the Bird was eyeballs out but firing on all cylinders for once.
A bit further up the lane there were Manpig and 69 and a little respite as we quizzed MP on what was to come.
Assur-ed that it was only a 5.4 miler (not
quite but MP didn't want to frighten the Bird)), we set off into the
gathering gloom, recalling adventures from long long ago.
Up a gloomy gorge we struggled in near
darkness. Flasher scouted and distant calls were borne on the wind back
to Plonker (hindered by a knee injury), Artful and the Bird. The ON ON
was sounded and in a flash, Flasher [sic] was gone, never to be seen
until the end. Plonker and Flasher had run a fourteen miler on Sunday
but this had no effect whatsoever on the flying hasher on this, his last
trail for a while.
Familiar territory and SM Ellie was sighted
below Manpig's drum and a chalk 'P' for pool by the turn-off. No time to
tarry though as there was the glorious On Home marker and the salvation
of the Nellie and, most importantly, the beer!
The light had fled and summer flown with the rain just about to start.
'Head torches next week,' was the consensus.
Coldtits was back from the short and the lads
have a conflab before heading off. And who was this? Why it looked just
like the Wiggster - and it was - back from his Tour de Poland and
completing the short to earn his pint.
The ale of choice was the Salcombe Gold 4.2 abv, a thirst quenching harvest gold ale with a friendly £3.80 price tag.
We had the pub to ourselves and plenty of
room for all. Pisswell arrived and had done the short and it was great
catching up with B Roads Hit after many weeks away. Rare pubsters were
Wetfart and 69 who had put himself about and needed a pick me up.
Shitfaced proudly displayed a 3 mile clocking for himself T Humper,
I-Poo'd and Spud - power to your trainers. Catch you next week Wiggy for
a chat!
Flasher bid us adieu and signed off with a tarmac scorching run - I doff my Bluebird cap to you!
POSTSCRIPT
A REALLY SUPER trail laid by Manpig. A long
designed for the runners by a runner and how we greedily gobbled it up.
The checks were judiciously placed and arrows kept the pace high (new
rules now to keep the pack apart!). A family style gathering in the
Nellie afterwards, yes, Oh Dearly Did You Ever Doubt It, we are Shirley
still hashing!
And finally, an ode to Manpig's magnificent runners' long:
Manpig laid a runners' seven
And nearly sent the Bird to heaven
The smooth tarmac did seduce
Fast running did we produce
Mile after mile we poured it on
Until our energy was truly gone
Off road sections gave respite
Before we continu-ed the fight
Late August light fades all too fast
The time for indecision long past
Checks are few, arrows reign
To give the warriors maximum pain
SM Ellie heard the shout
As the blessed On Home
Hove into sight
Oh Shirley we have won the fight!
*BroadS tee shirt
**Afoot you fools
***Only five, have to do better
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