A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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MANPIG LAYS A FAMOUS TRAIL FOR THE YOUNG GUNS, B ROADS HIT & BEEFY CAVALRY

Run #1841 Monday 24th August from the Lord Nelson, Kingskerswell with Hare Manpig

'Manpig laid a runners' seven
Which nearly sent the Bird to heaven'

But back to the beginning, Oh Dearly Jumping the Gun...

Over the Kinky Kinkerswell [sic] speed humps did the Swing Low Sweet Chariot trundle and as the Nellie was approached, a waving figure came into focus. It was young 69 who had arriv-ed early to Thomas Cook his parking space on the oasis pavement outside the loo (and preferred option for Teapot). Not wishing to risk it and go as a biscuit, mine chariot U-turned back to the exclusive three chariot tether alongside the pub.

The landlord's head peered over the gate to give permission for the space of spaces to be occupied. Five minutes later and the GM slotted seamlessly in behind. HA! Shirley the plan was coming together, Oh Dearly Don't You Love It.

There was nary a sign of Hare Manpig (way out on trail) as the tiny band's numbers were swelled with B Roads Hit*, Strap-On and Coldtits (shedding the pounds impressively) - joining the GM, I-Poo'd, 69 and T Humper. Sunglasses were needed as SM Ellie dazzled with a bright orange glow tee shirt.

The Flying FRBs, Flasher, Plonker and Artful Dogger appeared line abreast like gunfighters at High Noon and the game was Shirley a foot** Oh Dearly Ready to Rock 'n' stroll.

A slightly confused roll call but the participants tentatively identified as follows: GM Shitfaced, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Flasher, Plonker, Artful Dogger, BB, Beefy, BroadS, SM Ellie, Strap-On, Pisswell, Coldtits, 69, Piltdown, Wiggy (Hi! you're back at last!), Wetfart, Archangel and Manpig. 3Sum (welcome back) and Slip on Me made the pub afterwards.

It was now gone 7:20 pm and with still no sign of the hardy hare but armed with the knowledge that the first L/S split was at the foot of Fluder, the GM sent the longs on their way.

The watch was tardy acquiring the GPS and a fifty metre start was gifted to the gunfighters... sigh. It really was demoralizing watching the lads disappear up Fluder and I thought it was a case of drawing the short straw Shirley - on my lonesome for six miles was a bitter pill to swallow so early in the run..

Meanwhile, B Roads Hit also faced a lonely run and set off solo at his Sunday best stroll. Just after two miles, a patter of feet heralded the cavalry in the shape of - Here's Beefy! The daring duo did doddle down*** the rest of the trail together. Well done lads!

But never mind, back at the sharp end and atop Fluder the first check halted the charge and contact was reestablished. Along the 'Kerswell Road we coursed with the first (pleasant) surprise as we dropped down below the Holiday Park onto the bridlepath cum cycle/scramble bike path. A fallen tree blocked the path but gosh and by golly, we hadn't been down here for decades!

Descending onto Brown Bridge Road and the Young Guns had to be called back to go straight across into the path with the 'Road Closed' sign - Manpig had to check whether it really was and then go back to lay.

Crossing the Newton Road, the hare had us guessing before we turned off into Edginswell Lane and at the three mile mark the shorts were encountered - giving the lie to the Nellie's landlord's pre-trail comment of the Grand Master not going anywhere! GM Shitfaced turned: 'There's Bluebird hanging on for dear life!' Too true Blue, the Bird was eyeballs out but firing on all cylinders for once.

A bit further up the lane there were Manpig and 69 and a little respite as we quizzed MP on what was to come.
Assur-ed that it was only a 5.4 miler (not quite but MP didn't want to frighten the Bird)), we set off into the gathering gloom, recalling adventures from long long ago.

Up a gloomy gorge we struggled in near darkness. Flasher scouted and distant calls were borne on the wind back to Plonker (hindered by a knee injury), Artful and the Bird. The ON ON was sounded and in a flash, Flasher [sic] was gone, never to be seen until the end. Plonker and Flasher had run a fourteen miler on Sunday but this had no effect whatsoever on the flying hasher on this, his last trail for a while.

Familiar territory and SM Ellie was sighted below Manpig's drum and a chalk 'P' for pool by the turn-off. No time to tarry though as there was the glorious On Home marker and the salvation of the Nellie and, most importantly, the beer!

The light had fled and summer flown with the rain just about to start. 'Head torches next week,' was the consensus.

Coldtits was back from the short and the lads have a conflab before heading off. And who was this? Why it looked just like the Wiggster - and it was - back from his Tour de Poland and completing the short to earn his pint.

The ale of choice was the Salcombe Gold 4.2 abv, a thirst quenching harvest gold ale with a friendly £3.80 price tag.

We had the pub to ourselves and plenty of room for all. Pisswell arrived and had done the short and it was great catching up with B Roads Hit after many weeks away. Rare pubsters were Wetfart and 69 who had put himself about and needed a pick me up. Shitfaced proudly displayed a 3 mile clocking for himself T Humper, I-Poo'd and Spud - power to your trainers. Catch you next week Wiggy for a chat!

Flasher bid us adieu and signed off with a tarmac scorching run - I doff my Bluebird cap to you!

POSTSCRIPT
A REALLY SUPER trail laid by Manpig. A long designed for the runners by a runner and how we greedily gobbled it up. The checks were judiciously placed and arrows kept the pace high (new rules now to keep the pack apart!). A family style gathering in the Nellie afterwards, yes, Oh Dearly Did You Ever Doubt It, we are Shirley still hashing!

And finally, an ode to Manpig's magnificent runners' long:

Manpig laid a runners' seven
And nearly sent the Bird to heaven

The smooth tarmac did seduce
Fast running did we produce

Mile after mile we poured it on
Until our energy was truly gone

Off road sections gave respite
Before we continu-ed the fight

Late August light fades all too fast
The time for indecision long past

Checks are few, arrows reign
To give the warriors maximum pain

SM Ellie heard the shout
As the blessed On Home
Hove into sight

Oh Shirley we have won the fight!

*BroadS tee shirt
**Afoot you fools
***Only five, have to do better

ON ON to next week and Run #1842 from Little Haldon with Piltdown & Georgy P Orgy. Details to follow here and on our website at www.teignvalleyh3.com

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C sadly not with us

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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