Run #1840 Monday 17th August from Only Here for the Beer's abode in Coffinswell
'Second house down from the Linny, easy peasy lemon
squeezy', I mused as I turned off the rat run to descend into
Coffinswell once more. Oh Yes, Oh Dearly Have You Forgotten Already, I
knew it well from the week before.
So Cruising past the Linny, I slowed as I got to
where Only Here's abode should be, but no luck. Ah, it must be on the
right and it was down, way way down into Daccombe before the dull-witted
one realiz-ed it must be the Wong Wei. Oh well, I wuz early..
And there 'twas - the Hash destination of our
dreams. A cavernous off road parking area with a Park Inn sized garden
to accommodate all and sun dry*. Hash heaven hallelujah, we're Shirley
frying tonight.
Here then, Oh Dearly Why Doesn't He Get on With It, is the roll of honour from #1840:
GM Shitfaced, Piltdown, Beefy, Flasher, Plonker, Artful
Dogger, Wetfart, SM Ellie, Coldtits, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Just Coming,
Forrest, Manpig, Screwed, Stung Down Under, Pisswell, Strap-on, #69, BB,
Archangel, Able, Only Here and Dog End.
As last week, no circle and hashers rocked and
rolled when ready. The flying FRBs Hit The Road (Jack) first with
Artful Dogger and the Bird in their slipstream. Straight on up into Only
Here's private lane and his grand 280 acre estate the advance guard
cruised with the perennial longs and hard as nails hashers, Manpig and
Beefy setting off in arrears.
Hard a port into a barley field and the rapido
tuxedoes left the Bird trailing in their wake. But Only Here had his
first snare in place and over the brow of the field the FRBs came to a
juddering halt.
Oh rampant was the confusion that ensued and we had
only gone a quarter of a mile, what fun what fun. Artful by name and by
deed, the Artful Dogger had kept the faith and was seen merrily dashing
around the barley above us. The awful truth dawned and a hashing
technical term was screamed by a berserker: 'Silly sod! Back troops!' It
was a complete circuit of Only Here's barley field but Flasher and
Plonker stood for it and played the game though someone did not - though
the culprit could not be identified with any certainty.
Into a sloping meadow and the hares' awful design
became clear - the trail was laid around the perimeter of Farmer Beer's
fields and Farmer Beer was so proud of his fields that he wished us to
examine all of them.
The Artful one soon cottoned on: 'Never mind the
marks, follow the tyre tracks!' Oh Yes, Oh Dearly The Game's Up, the
trail had been laid from Only Here's truck, driven by Dog End whilst
Only Here flour bombed from the passenger seat....sigh
Descending to the Auld Empty Barn, Flasher called
back to Artful in the field above: 'Make sure you go round the field!'
And Beefy was only about fifty yards away but actually two fields
distant on the bewildering helter-skelter configured trail.
Surprisingly, no one seemed to have picked up that
the Bird is the word had shamelessly continued short-cutting and
excusing the outrage with a plaintive wailing of: 'Sorry lads, but I'm
very old!'
At last we tumbled out onto the blessed tarmac and
headed off into the boondocks down Daccombe way. The last time Flasher
and Plonker were sighted was at the three mile mark betwixt the Orestone
and Killpark Plantations below Fluder Hill. From then on it was a wild
and lonely meander back to the beer. If I knew then what I discovered
after, I might not have ventured up the last iniquitous (for me but
hash-friendly terrain for the hardy) long split. Fear of death (and no
beer) forced a virtual walk the last mile and there was many a furtive
look over mine shoulder to see if Beefy and Manpig were coming to claim
Despicable Me.
Nearly home and two hashers loomed large - Strap-On
and SM Ellie though I was too far gone to speak. Then charging towards
me were Flasher and Plonker who were determined to make a 10K out of it.
Good luck lads, 5.4 miles is good enough - show me the beer..
A supply of Proper Job, a chance to catch up on all the gossip, fairy lights, food supplied by Dog End, Oh Yes, we had it all.
Offers for forthcoming hash trails and venues were
pledged and with fingers tightly crossed, a fervent hope that we can
keep on trucking...
Thanks Only Here and Dog End (who knew that the
longs would want a gallop), it was a lot of work for but six longs (I
think) but we really loved the trail - it had something to cater for all
tastes and after surviving that last off-road section, we really earned
our beer - as did the shorts and walkers out there.
ON ON to next week from the Lord Nelson at Kingskerswell with Manpig as hare.