A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Pages (when clicked the item will appear at the bottom of the page - click home to return)

CONQUERING MT DOOM, THE MUDSLIDE OF CERTAIN DEATH & WET JOHNNY THE GENT LENDS A HAND

Run #1848 Monday 12th October from Lawns End Park, Bishopsteignton with hares Coldtits and Polyfella
 
Forgetting the turn-off was Forder Lane, I spent some time exploring Cockhaven and Church roads looking for the elusive Lawns End Park, finally having to ask directions from a dog walking local. Par for the course..
 
But there at last was the haven of the circle up chariot park with wartime blackout restrictions still in operation.
 
Shadowy hashers picked out:
GM Shitfaced, Piltdown, Georgie, Teapot, Coldtits, Polyfella, Beefy, 69, Fukarwi, ManPig, Strap-On, Pisswell, SM Ellie, Wet Johnny, Erection, Ravi, Roxanne, Harry + 2, Artful Dogger, Big End and red led Ned, Well Hopped, Screwed and Bella.
 
I tried unsuccessfully to get an autograph from Strap-On who has just been unanimously voted the TVH Slimmer of the Century. He is about to embark on a Covid-controlled tour of Torbay to promote his new range of SlimJim© menswear.
 
Inky black Circle summoned were the motley throng and the usual pleasantries dispensed by the Grand Master before the glad tidings of the evening's jollities were announced by the hares. Two L/S splits with a cautionary warning about something tricky in the closing stages - but the Birdbrain was still adjusting his newly acquired ACME main beam head torch and paid scant attention. It was a decision he would have cause to regret in about fifty five minutes time...Oh Dearly Just an Accident Waiting to Happen..
 
Polyfella pointed towards the entrance to the park and the extravaganza was underway with Artful, turbo spluttering, careering the Wong Wei and having to be recalled. Misgivings - later to be justified - about the wisdom of wearing road racing flats were to the fore as the grass was wet and slick but Shirley the tarmac beckoned Becky.
A horse is a horse of course of course* and the main road could be sighted in front of that supreme slimmer Strap-On, proudly leading the pack, but the luxury was to be fleeting as we turned for the river, Oh Dearly Having a Sinking [sic] Feeling...
 
An obstacle course of rocks, piles of seaweed and assorted horrors were encountered as we lurched along the banks of the Teign. The sheet of galvanized metal nearly ended the game before it had really started. In the distance, Artful had regained the lead and was nearly out of third gear on the awful terrain with the Assassin** purring along in stealth mode close behind. Beefy, meanwhile, was taking snaps of the Teign, tourist style, and had little interest in getting involved with the frenetic pace.
 
Up the little known Jack's Patch lane under the railway to be met by Polyfella, standing guard on the busy main road and who was making sure that there was no hasher roadkill on his watch. Teapot had stolen a march on most (card marked?) but looked quite perky and good to go.
 
It was then a case of ON ON up and up - and up some for two kilometres until the summit of Mt Doom was reached, some seven hundred feet above the glistening Teign:
 
π˜Όπ™£π™™ π™©π™π™šπ™§π™š π™©π™π™š π™₯π™žπ™€π™£π™šπ™šπ™§π™¨ π™¬π™šπ™§π™š π™€π™§π™™π™šπ™§π™šπ™™
𝙏𝙀 π™₯π™§π™šπ™₯π™–π™§π™š 𝙖 π™‘π™šπ™«π™šπ™‘ π™₯π™‘π™–π™˜π™š
π˜Όπ™£π™™ π™šπ™£π™œπ™§π™–π™«π™š 𝙖 π™‘π™–π™¨π™©π™žπ™£π™œ π™§π™šπ™˜π™€π™§π™™
π™Šπ™› π™©π™π™žπ™¨ π™©π™§π™žπ™ͺ𝙒π™₯𝙝 𝙀𝙛 π™©π™π™šπ™žπ™§ π™§π™–π™˜π™š .. No? Well I think I need a shot of O2 at this altitude.
.
Ah, blessed tarmacadam followed as a reward for our heady endeavours as Beefy and the Bird sauntered steadily along to the final L/S split and if I knew then what I knew afterwards, I would Shirley have heeded Polyfella's advisory, given so long ago at the circle..
 
Taking the wise option were Screwed and Bella with Roxanne and tiny crew in attendance, but on reflection, perhaps the tinies would have enjoyed themselves on the hilarious helter-skelter Harry...
But never mind, In the Heat of the Night (1967 recommended viewing) a hasher has to do what a hasher has to do and saluting sharply the touring duo embarked on what would be for some, the fateful final frontier...
 
𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 π–πˆπ‹π‹ ππŽπ– 𝐁𝐄 𝐀 π’π‡πŽπ‘π“ πˆππ“π„π‘πŒπˆπ’π’πˆπŽπ while sales staff attend the stalls with refreshments (you Shirley will need them). A short feature might keep you entertained***:
 
𝗕𝗒𝗕𝗕𝗬 π—ͺπ—’π—Ÿπ—Ÿ'𝗦 𝗗π—₯π—˜π—”π— 
The Gun Dog vas relaxing und der brown haze swirled down upon a soporific Bobby Woll und he began to dream a fitful dream...so ACHTUNG Baby****
 
In some far-flung Bavarian bierkeller sat a dejected rottenfΓΌhrer. He'd had a bad day in der Panzer and had come out for ein or zwei biers. An assortment of life-size cardboard cutout caricatures were arrayed to keep him company including the notorious Blauer Vogel. Entering stage left vas Doris to have her mandatory pint of Guinness. 'It must be a dream,' mused the celebrated tank gunner but the apparition downed der Guinness and turned to depart with a wistful 'I'll see you sometime...' 
 
It was all too much for Bobby, now suitably saturated mit dem Gun Dog and he rose unsteadily with glass in hand to give a reverse rendition of Der Panzerlied..
 
'Ve'll meet again, don't know vere don't know ven but I know ve'll meet again vun ..'
'Enough!' cried the management, 'Ve, I mean we will have no singing in this establishment.' Disappointed, the rottenfΓΌhrer did desist but muttered 'I vill be back - in mein Panzer...'
 
'π–π€πŠπ„ 𝐔𝐏 𝐁𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐘, π‚π‡π”π‚πŠπˆππ† πŽπ”π“ π“πˆπŒπ„!' 'Oh BB, thank goodness, I was having this strange dream, let's go home...'
And now,
 
ππ€π‚πŠ π“πŽ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 π€π‚π“πˆπŽπ
A familiar junction materialized on the Humber Road and a check - is it right to the Red Rock brewery or left?
 
Wet Johnny couldn't find any more than a single dot, brewery side and a quarter of a mile along the other choice yielded a similar result. We had tarried some time and lights appeared from astern - ManPig and Fukarwi with Artful also resurfacing after taking some strange scenic route.
 
As usual, Manpig seemed to know where we were and what route to take. It transpired it was left along the Bird abandoned route... sigh
 
What climbs high above Bishopsteignton must Shirley descend back down into:
 
𝐓𝐇𝐄 πŒπ”πƒπ’π‹πˆπƒπ„ πŽπ… π‚π„π‘π“π€πˆπ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 and the Bird knew immediately that he'd got trouble, right here in River City, with a capital T that rhymes with P that stands for pool.
 
Hashers a half mile away heard the death screech as the Bird fluttered and slid to destruction down the near vertical mud slide. It was just as the Idiot had feared, the road racing flats had less grip than a pair of roller skates and I know what you're thinking Fukarwi - Whatamis.....
 
The once majestic road running prairie chicken was swiftly reduced to a dead duck in a thunderstorm, but wait, what do I hear? Why it's my old running buddy ManPig, I'm sav-ed Shirley. 
 
But there was to be no salvation here m'dears as ManPig, with a sneer and a cruel glint in his eyes, swept past, Oh Shirley Shed a Tear for the Dead Duck..
 
Meanwhile, a little farther down the slide of death, poor Georgie had taken a tumble but a damsel rescuing knight was at hand to give comfort and lend assistance - one Wet Johnny, such a gent and Georgie sends her thanks.
 
Fukarwi came across a hasher clinging for dear life to the chain link fencing and babbling like an idiot. 'You won't leave me to die out here, will you old friend?' Gently did Fukarwi lead the car crash back to the darkened row of chariots and a total rebuild.
 
*Mister Ed - great tv series early sixties.
**Wet Johnny you fools.
***I pray indulgence from some and give apologies to same.
****U2
 
ππŽπ’π“π’π‚π‘πˆππ“
Yes, Coldtits and Polyfella, you know that we loved the trail! It kept a few of us guessing and there was never a dull moment out there. I really should have listened to you, Polyfella, but I can laugh about that mud slide now!
 
Departing (the way I should have entered), I saw a runner coming along the main road. On passing, I realized it was Artful Dogger! Clocking up over seven miles and possibly straying off trail the same number of times, this was probably his last run until the End of Days (1999) or December anyway.
 
ON ON to next week and Station Road CP, Bovey Tracy TQ13 9AL with hare Beefy. Non Down is wherever you want: "Decide for yourself."

 

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C sadly not with us

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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