A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Thursday 11 November 2021

FORREST'S FIREWORK HASH & ROADKILL STEW

TVH3 Run No. 1889 8th November 2021
VENUE: Tinkley Bottom, Teign Valley
HARES: Forrest Stump & Man-Pig
 
ROLL CALL: Forrest Stump (chef), Wood-Lend (pyromaniac), Man-Pig, Shit-Faced, T-Humper, iPoo'd, Just Coming, Piltdown-Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Strap-On, Mrs Strap-On, Kermit & partner, Triple Jump, Gaga4It, Anne, Julie, Cheerio Beerio, Able Semen, Fallen Woman, Broken Man, Beefy, Pisswell, Coldtits, Rambo, Roxanne, Mini-Penners (3), Wet-Johnny, Big-End & Ned, Well-Hopped, Swinger, The Last of the Homohecians (returnee), Ernie (TamarH3), Warm Front, Arkangel, Only Here For the Beer. A few missed in the firelight, my apologies.
IN ABSENTIA: Bluebird (injured) and Bobbiball (headache)
 
 
THE CIRCLE
A fantastically mild and dry Movember evening welcomed TVH back to Tinkley Bottom for what is becoming an established annual event, Forrest's Firework and Roadkill Stew Hash.
The weather had been so dry that no-one had any difficulty in parking in, or exiting from, Forrest's freshly mowed meadow. The Circle announcements comprised Shitfaced advising us that he had tickets for the Christmas Party on Friday 10th December and that was about it. Over to the Hare(s) i.e. Man-Pig as Forrest wanted to concentrate on gastronomy or was that drugging the cat?
Man-Pig announced that this would Shirley be a short trail for a change. This was because we wanted to get everyone back for Forrest's famous roadkill stew and the fireworks. Marks maybe a little confusing as Forrest had laid his parts of the trail in almost invisible sawdust whilst Man-Pig has opted for easy to see flour. 
 
At the Long and Short/Walkers' split, the Walkers would go uphill until they got tired and simply turn around and return from whence they came. At the next split, the Long/Short split, the Shorts would go up a footpath that joined up with the Walkers' trail. The Longs would continue uphill and follow the marks....or lack thereof. Walkers, Longs and Shorts would all be returning via the outward trail - DO NOT GO ROUND AGAIN! Longs circa 4 miles. Shorts nearer 3. Walkers - turn around when you feel like it.
 
THE TRAIL
The trail took us along the edge of the Teign in Forrest's meadow before joining the track that runs in front of Forrest's friendly neighbours. 
 
The first check had Beefy going up towards Trusham only to find a cross. Most hashers ran straight across and continued up the disused Teign Valley railway line. Not surprising really as the check had been kicked out in that direction. However, they all eventually returned as the real trail took us over Crocombe Bridge, across the Teign Valley road, and up towards Hennock.
 
At Leigh Cross, the Walkers veered to the right and up to Teign Village. However, the Walkers' mark was almost invisible having been in sawdust and some Walkers, including Fallen Woman, missed it and carried on - unaware that they were now on the Long and Shorts' trail. The marks alternated between left and right depending on which way Forest was driving at the time and this should have kept hashers on their toes.
 
A little further up the hill, the Shorts trail led up a footpath to the right whilst the Longs continued ever upwards to a check at the next crossroads. However, the check had been partially sabotaged to look like a 'C'. Most of the Longs correctly assumed that the trail continued straight up. However, one Harriet, Swinger, followed the line of the main road to the right. This meant that she arrived at the check at Five lanes from the wrong direction having run through a cross!
 
At the Five Lanes junction, there were a few hashers awaiting divine guidance from the Hare. The Hare pointed them up the relatively obscured public footpath that took them up to Chericombehead.
Strap-On also advised that three hashers had carried straight on (towards Furzeleigh Cross) and had not come back! Sure enough, a minute or so later, Well-Hopped, Big End, Ned and another came cantering back having encountered two crosses! All back on trail it was a simple climb to Chericombehead Cross and another check. 
 
For the first time on trail, we were now embarking on a downhill. Down Bell Lane on the descent into Hennock and the penultimate check just across from the Palk Arms (temporarily closed due to illness).
Two arrows directed us down towards Teign Village but, before reaching the village, the last check had us climbing over a rather obvious stile and traversing a field before exiting back onto the same road just above Teign Village. Here I caught up with Rambo who seemed perfectly happy on a simple trail. We elected to walk the last mile back to the bonfire. We could hardly miss it, illuminating half the valley.
All safely back and accounted for, it was time for Roadkill Stew!
 
THE DOWN-DOWNS
The Down-Downs were temporarily delayed due to a logistics issue with the On-Down. Forrest had run out of beer!!!!!! 
 
Man-Pig donated his only bottle of Samuel Smiths IPA and Shitfaced liberated two cans of Copperberg from T-Humper. Eventually we had four drinks to award which were all a ghastly amalgam of beer and cider!
 
Triple Down-Downer of the previous week, Smellie, gave the Horse's head hat to Pisswell. Apparently Pisswell had confessed to Smellie that she had asked Beefy to buy her a strap on. Despite protestations that something had been lost in translation, namely that the strap-on was in-fact a head-torch, the Down-Down went to "Vibra-Girl".
 
Smellie also had the Hashshit shirt to award. Her first choice had been Ernie who had already gone home - presumably in his milk cart. Thus a story ensued about a friendly moggy that had followed Smellie into the bathroom. What a nice little cat, Smellie thought to herself. But then the amorous moggy got a little too friendly. Had it been on the catnip or had Forrest been drugging his pussy and plying her with homegrown narcotics? Accordingly a Down-Down to the "Pussy-Plier".
 
There were no more awards to be allocated but there were two more beers/ciders to allocate. "Has anyone got any stories?" the cry went out. 
 
Strap-On asked who owned a blue Honda Jazz as they'd left the keys in the driver's side door. Arkangel sheepishly came forward and a note was called for, "Grand Theft Auto".
 
One Down-Down still to award and the Hare wanted to know who had kicked out the first check in the wrong direction? There was a lot of girlie giggling going on from the pair of Harriets that were sat on the bales. Swinger eventually out-giggled Well-Hopped so it was a note for "The Guy" on the hash nearest to Guido Fawkes' nacht.
 
The Down-Downs completed, Forrest issued instructions to Wood-Lend to commence the cornucopia of pyrotechnics. This consisted of a pretty good display of what I'm guessing was a single box package brought along by Able Semen. It went on for ages. There were a few rockets, but these were 2018 vintage so I'm not sure that they all went off. And that pretty much concluded the evening.
 
Many thanks to Forrest for his hospitality, the Roadkill Stew and the fantastic bonfire. At the end of the evening, the eagle eyed had spied that some of the bonfire was burning with a distinctly green glow. I think that there was some copper cable in there somewhere?
 
On-On to next week and Wet-Johnny's trail from the King William pub, Totnes....half way up Fore Street on the right hand side.
 
ON-ON
 
POST SCRIPT ACCOMMODATION PLEA: Returnee, The Last of the Homohecians, has an Australian friend who is returning to Australia via the UK after having spent time working abroad. She has two dogs and is looking for accommodation for circa 3 months by which time the Australian authorities should be in a position to let the dogs into the country. Additionally, has anyone got Homohecian's contact details as I forgot to ask him for them!

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WEEKLY SUBS PAYERS

It would be appreciated if those hashers that pay £1 a week when they attend rather than the £30 a year subscription could bring their one pound to the circle and pay Pisswell before the run. It is not much fun for her to chase hashers in the pub for payment. Many thanks for your cooperation. 🙂

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
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HASH SUBS 2023

This years membership, which is due now is £30 Alternatively, you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

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Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

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