RUN #1890 Monday 15th November
VENUE: King William IV, Totnes
HARE: Wet (himself)-Johnny
ROLL
CALL: Wet-Johnny, Man-Pig, Shit-Faced, Piltdown-Man, Georgy Porgy,
Smellie, Strap-On, Tamsin & partner, Alexis and partner, Triple
Jump, Able Semen, Hot Lips, Zoot, Cheerio Beerio, Fallen Woman, Broken
Man, Beefy, Pisswell, Coldtits, Rambo, Roxanne, Mini-Penners (Harry,
Ilya + another 4), Manopause, Big-End & Ned, Well-Hopped, Satnav,
Threesum, Wetfart, Only here for the Beer......and all of Haldon Hash!
(see later)
IN ABSENTIA: Bluebird (injured) and Bobbiball (growing a 'tache)
THE CIRCLE
We
circled up outside what I believe is a new On-Down for Teign Valley -
The King William IV pub. There was no need to be apprehensive with
regards, "Would the pub be hash friendly?" as the landlord, Rob, was the
former landlord of the Dartmouth Inn at the bottom of town.
Announcements were brief. Shitfaced announced that he had tickets for
sale for the TVH3 Xmas party - £7 members, £12 non-members. Threesum
announced that she had draw tickets and Fallen Women confirmed that
there would be fish and chips at her annual Brixham Christmas Carol hash
(13 December); please pay £6 in advance for the fish and chips and
BYOB. No virgins or other announcements so it was over to the Hare,
Wet-Johnny.
The
trail would be about 2 miles for the Walkers; 4 for the Shorts and 6
for the Longs; there are two Long/Short splits. There would also be a
sweetie stop. "Go".
THE TRAIL
The
trail took us down Station Road towards Morrisons' petrol station and
then right towards Brutus Bridge. The usual suspects of Beefy and Big
End took the lead with Smellie in a surprising third place; no doubt on a
mission to burn off Friday night's Chinese takeaway!
Just
before Brutus Bridge, an arrow directed us down onto the footpath on
the banks of the Dart. Here the marks became jolly difficult to see
amongst the fallen leaves. Wet-Johnny had used sawdust instead of flour
on this stretch. this was so as to avoid marks in flour being eaten by
dog walkers! I think he meant the dog walkers' dogs. The head torches
dimmed behind us as the three FRB's blazed their way to the first
Long/Short split which was at the lower entrance to Dartington Hall.
An
arrow directed the Longs into Nellie's Wood and an uphill arc which
exited into a flat field on high ground. The trail meandered along two
sides of the field before an arrow directed us over a locked gate.
As
we climbed over the gate, we could just see torches entering the field
some 400 yards behind us...."The mini-Penners" we guessed. A peculiar
concrete track consisting solely of two strips of concrete, an
axle-width apart from each other, traversed a large open and relatively
flat field. I'm not exactly sure that this was a public footpath. On
exiting this field, we rejoined tarmac and also joined up with Haldon
Hash.
The
marks were a little confusing and blurred at this point. I had assumed
(incorrectly) that the plethora of marks included the second Long/Short
split. That was until a helpful Shortie (Haldon H3) said, "You're going
straight down the road Man-Pig". And so we did, meeting most of Haldon
Hash, looking perplexed, coming the other way.
At
Shinner's Bridge, more confusing blurred marks until we worked out
that the blurs were where Haldon had differentiated their marks by
marking them with an "H". The blurs were where the "H's" had been kicked
out. Satisfied that we were on trail, Big-End and I crossed the A385
and commenced the ascent up to the Cott Inn.
At
the top of this ascent is a footp[ath on the left that drops back down
into Totnes. It was bound to be this one. It wasn't. The trail took us
right and behind the Cott Inn until we came to a cross. We had missed a
check. Doubling back we found a kicked-out check and a narrow footpath
that took us down to Redlake Cross and away from Totnes. "How far is
Wet-Johnny taking us?" I cried.
At
Redlake Cross, an arrow directed us left and uphill. At the first
junction, it was right towards Copland and Peek Plantation. Then the
final check, but not kicked out - most peculiar as Beefy always
religiously kicks out all the checks.
Unbeknown
to us, Beefy had run straight past this check and was now heading
towards Follaton House on an unmarked trail. We were soon on a spur off
Coplands Lane. Sure enough, at the point where the spur joins Coplands
Lane, an arrow had us cantering down Coplands Lane to the bottom of the
Western Bypass which would be the "On-Home".....or was it? Big End was
sure that we'd only done one Long. I was sure that we'd done two Longs.
We would find out soon enough.
Crossing
the Western Bypass, Wet-Johnny greeted with a tin of Cadbury's
Celebrations. Pointing up the Western Bypass, the hare gave out the
dread news: "Take a big breath. The second Long is up there." It can't
be far I thought.....turn left at the top of town near the closed
Kingsbridge Inn. Wrong again.
We
had to continue the ascent to K2 (OK, the Old Toll House) before the
relief of an arrow taking us down Fishchowter's Lane to Moat Hill. At
Moat Hill an arrow pointed left....uphill again, but not for long,
before another arrow took us down a pretty much obscured narrow footpath
near Magdelene Close and through Grove Close and thence Victoria Road.
We arrived back at the car park bang on 8.30. But, where was Beefy?
THE DOWN-DOWNS
The
Down-Downs commenced with thanking Rob, the Landlord, for the beers and
his hospitality. The RA passed on a message from Forrest Stump
apologising for his absence and the corresponding absence of the
Hashshit shirt. Forrest had been compelled to attend rehearsals for the
pantomime. "Oh no he wasn't" was the retort from the baying
hashers.....I hate Christmas! On to the Down-Downs:
First
up was Wet-Johnny as Hare. Once again an excellent trail and well
marked. And this despite the overlap with Haldon Hash. Hence a note for
"To Hal(don) and Back".
The
second award was going to be a virtual award until Wet-Johnny produced
the Jester's Hat and gave it to Arkangel to award. Arkangel came up with
some off-Hash story about bumping into Smellie outside a Chinese
takeaway on Friday night. Accordingly a note for "Smerrie....shee too
broo...." etc etc in a Chinese accent. All very politically correct!
Eventually
Pisswell arrived at the pub to award the Horses' Head Hat. This was
given to Wet-Johnny for placing checks near pools of urine. Hence a note
for, "Wet-himself-Johnny".
Two
more Down-Downs to dish out, albeit without any accompanying award. Did
anyone have any stories? Eventually a timid Satnav relayed a tale of
our GM asking Wetfart if he was a member? Wetfart has been hashing with
Teign Valley for just shy of 30 years! A note for, "He who should have
gone to SpecSavers".
In
the absence of any more stories, it was decided to award the last
Down-Down to Rob the Landlord for his hospitality. He had always run a
Hash friendly pub down at the Dartmouth Inn and it looks as though this
will now continue at the King William IV. Thank you, Rob.
ON
ON to next week and the Keyberry Arms, Decoy, Newton Abbot. Hare
Bobbiball.....all together now, "Bobbiball, Bobbiball, Bobbiball......."
