A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Friday 26 November 2021

WELCOME HOME TO A REAL FIRE! by Man-Pig

TVH3 Run No. 1891 22nd November 2021
VENUE: The Keyberry, Newton Abbot
HARES: Bobbiball and Dozy Parrot
 
ROLL CALL: Bobbiball, Dozy Parrot, Forest-Stump, Arkangel, Warmfront, Wet-Johnny, Man-Pig, Broadshit, Piltdown-Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Strap-On, Mrs Strap-On, Tamsin, Triple Jump, Able Semen, Hot Lips, Zoot, Cheerio Beerio, Beefy, Pisswell, Coldtits, Rambo (now driving himself!), Roxanne, Mini-Penners (Harry & Mason? Roxanne to confirm ID), Manopause, 69'er, Zen, Big-End, Well-Hopped, Satnav, Threesum, Wetfart, Only here for the Beer, Piddler.
 
IN ABSENTIA: Bluebird (Mum poorly) and Shitfaced (hurt his wrist!)
 
THE CIRCLE
Brrrrrr. Wasn't it cold on Monday night? Temperatures back to the November norms so wasn't it nice to come back to a nice warm pub with roaring fire? Lovely and snug!
Now, on to the Circle. Announcements comprised Threesum plugging raffle ticket sales with Able Semen actually undertaking the sales in the pub afterwards. Man-Pig announced something about the Movember Foundation for men's health but then deferred everything till next week due to Bobbiball failing to bring the sponsorship form. Then it was over to the Hares.
 
First the excuses. "Bluebird was supposed to help me but he cried off at 1 o'clock. What could I do?" Well, he requisitioned Dozy Parrot to help him, but it was getting dark by the time they finished so it was not as long as planned; about three and a half miles and no Long/Short splits. Everyone would do the same trail but, if you fancied a walk, just follow Bobbi and Dozy Parrot. "Whatever you do, do not run through a cross or you will be on the return trail and you'll be back in the pub before you know it. Go around the lake again." Bobbi mentioned something about the trail having been laid in both flour and sawdust. Bobbi then finished his spiel with those immortal and reassuring words, "Good luck"
.
THE TRAIL
Chilly hashers warmed up slowly by cantering across the road from the Keyberry to pick up the first marks. After two lampposts, it was left down a ginnel and onto the edge of Decoy Country Park playing fields. We skirted around the playing fields till we came upon the first check. We entered into Decoy woods (actually called Blackball Plantation) with Warmfront in pole position and calling "On-On". A meander through the woods/plantation and we were out on a track on the other side of the woods. An ideal place for a check but there was none.....or was there?
 
If you peered very hard, you could just see some flour under a pile of leaves. This was not as a result of hash sabotage. It had been a dry and blustery day and in the 3 hours since the trail had been laid the wind has simply blown the dry leaves over the check.
 
To our right was a track that would have taken us up to Coach Road. Wet-Johnny and Pisswell had checked this out, but no marks. Warmfront had checked directly ahead and had come back after finding only two marks. Wait a minute, didn't Bobbiball say something about "Two and On"? On-On it was.
We exited Blackball Plantation and commenced the ascent up the edge of Decoy Brake before hitting tarmac above Abbotskerswell. Would we go right towards the cemetery or left towards Abbotskerswell?
 
The arrows don't lie and an arrow in flour had us heading towards Abbotskerswell. Torchlight ahead of me - Warmfront and Beefy. Torchlight behind me - Big End. Initially we were on the level, but after 300 yards we commenced a steep decline into Abbotskerswell and, another arrow. What goes down must Shirley go up? And so we did.
 
A sharp left and uphill towards Abbotskerswell Priory. Just as we levelled off, a large arrow, about four yards to our left, took us onto a well hashed public footpath across fields that once belonged to Priory Farm. However, despite being well hashed territory, the dark left some hashers disorientated.
Beefy was just behind us as we ascended away from Abbotskerswell but as we turned left and traversed the first of three fields on our way back to Blackball Plantation, we could see reflections of torchlight on the road above us. Beefy had missed the arrow and was now continuing towards the Priory. But Beefy was not the only one to miss the arrow. Roxanne and the mini-penners also carried on past the Priory, down Priory Road, until they joined the Kingskerswell Road and bumped into Beefy coming the other way.
 
Roxanne and co. thought that they were on Coach Road in Newton Abbot. Once it was established that they were, in fact, half way between the pub and Kingskerswell, they decided to stay on the Kingskerswell Road and make a beeline for the pub. As for Beefy, I know nothing. The next we saw of Beefy was in the pub. Did you make it back on trail Beefy?
 
Back in the fields just below Hennaborough, Warmfront and Big End were getting a move on and leaving the Pig for dead. Re-entering Blackball Plantation, I thought that it would be a simple trail down the broad track that would hit Kingskerswell Road 200 yards south of the pub. Wrong. Another arrow directing us northwest up the edge of the plantation. I could hear Warmfront calling, but no sign of torchlight in the woods.
 
The trail led up and then arced right in a large loop to rejoin the broad track. Bugger! I should have kept going and saved myself a half-mile loop. Nonetheless, the marks were very good. I could not hear any calling so I assumed that Warmfront and Big-End were already back at the pub....and so they were.
A nice little run that many commented was well laid and they enjoyed running it. There you go Bobbi.....no need to have worried. Thankyou Hares.
THE DOWN-DOWNS
Forrest Stump assumed the RA'ing duty for the evening. The pub was an incredibly comforting environment with its lovely open fire after the first cold run of autumn. Just as welcoming was the sausage and chips put on by the pub for a very Hash friendly £3 a head.
 
Forrest commenced the Down-Downs by calling on Smellie to come up and name and shame. She recounted some very ungentlemanly behaviour from one our most innocuous and polite Hashers, Wet-Johnny! Not far into the trail a speeding Wet-Johnny had cut across in front of Smellie tripping her up. What a cowardly act. Regrettably, Wet-Johnny had already headed home so Smellie awarded the Jester's hat to Roxanne for his red light.
 
The second Down-Down was not accompanied by a physical award....just a story. Forrest recounted a tale about a big yellow Lorry (is that a Susan Vega song?) and a very small parking space. After several attempts, the lorry moved a further 20 yards down the road and parked in a huge space on the side of the road. Accordingly, a Down-Down to Pisswell for "Perfect Parking".
Arkangel mentioned something about someone leaping out of the bushes and smacking Forrest in the face causing him to fall.........or did he just fall over without any assistance from anyone else? Who knows? I don't think a Down-Down was actually awarded for this misdemeanour.
 
Forrest was wearing the Hashshit shirt and was looking for suitable recipients. Prior to the Down-Downs we were chatting with Cheerio Beerio and asking if she was enjoying hashing. "Oh yes", was the reply. "I am even going to buy some hash haberdashery". We wished we hadn't asked. For the next 20 minutes, Cheerio happily waded through Zoot's haberdashery catalogue. "Do you like that one? What colour shall I have? Long sleeve or short sleeve? Technical or cotton?". It went on for ages.
 
However, there was a fly in the ointment. When asking about long sleeve or short sleeve it was noted that she was looking at the Hats' page! Despite encouragement, and even a vote from the floor to remove her top/bottom before donning the Hashshit shirt, we saw nothing more revealing than a smile.
Finally, a Down-Down for each of the Hares and a thank you to the pub for their hospitality and the beer. I was truly sorry to see that there was only one local in the pub when the Hash arrived. The hospitality industry has had a torrid time over the past 18 months. I hope that the Keyberry's trade picks up later in the week, many pubs don't even open on a Monday these days. The pub looked after us very well. We must use it again sometime.
 
On-On to next week and the Highweek Inn, Highweek, Newton Abbot. Hare Only here for the Beer.....expect a long one - no, not the trail - a long time in the pub!

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WEEKLY SUBS PAYERS

It would be appreciated if those hashers that pay £1 a week when they attend rather than the £30 a year subscription could bring their one pound to the circle and pay Pisswell before the run. It is not much fun for her to chase hashers in the pub for payment. Many thanks for your cooperation. 🙂

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GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

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