A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

PILTDOWN MAN'S BIRTHDAY & STATE PENSION HASH

by Man-Pig

 
Run #1899 10th January 2022 from the Devon Arms Hotel, Teignmouth
 
HARES: Piltdown-Man & Smellie
 
Who wuz there: Piltdown-Man, Smellie, Shitfaced, Georgy-Porgy, Gaga-4-it, Fast Auntie Brenda, Strap-On, Well Hopped, Coldtits, Rambo, Wetfart, Beefy, Pisswell, Man-Pig, Arkangel (late SCB), Piddler, Only Here for the Beer, Forrest Stump, Bluebird, Fukarewe (pub only).
 
Who wasn't: late message from Cheerio Beerio who had intended to attend and bring the Hashshit shirt but caught in traffic in Exeter.
 
THE CIRCLE
Shitfaced welcomed everyone into the Circle. The only announcement was that annual subs are now payable at £25pa which ".....lasts a whole year from January to January!" Shitfaced confirmed that the pub didn't do food but takeaways would be allowed. The Hare's description was brief. "Longs just over 5. Shorts about 3 and a Walkers' "....no distance stated. Additionally, no co-hare. It transpired that the trail had been laid the previous day. However, overnight, all the marks had been eaten. Hence, Smellie was on a last minute dash to reinstate some of the marks.
 
THE TRAIL
Almost from the start there was a feeling of deja vu. The trail was following a very similar route to Smellie's virgin lay on the Halloween fancy dress hash. The trail took us down Northumberland Place, a sharp right and onto backbeach before crossing the Den and turning left onto the Promenade.
At this stage, as amazing as it sounds, Piddler was the front runner. Beefy had checked the wrong way and Man-Pig and the Bird had ended up on the wrong (seaward) side of the road. Inevitably, it wasn't long before Beefy caught us up and the usual suspect FRB's began to pull away from the pack.
 
All along the promenade and up past the yacht club to start our ascent. For the second time in just over two months, the marks took us up and up and up East Cliff Walk. A short way up, a peculiar set of marks; one arrow pointing up the hill, the other down the hill. We assumed that this must be the return leg for the Shorts.
 
The Longs continued up East Cliff walk; a little further up than we'd gone on 2 November. Then an arrow took us left and along a narrow footpath that I've never been on before. Unsurprisingly, this took us out onto the Dawlish Road. Another arrow directed us across the road and then left towards two shadowy figures....hashers? Not just hashers....Hares. Piltdown directed us up Oak Hill Cross Road advising, "Turn sharp left after three quarters of a mile".
 
Definitely deja vu. This was another uphill climb onto Holcombe Down. It wasn't long before tarmac gave way to a farm track. Additionally, it became clear as to the reason for Piltdown's imparted wisdom.....NO MARKS! Not a single one. They must have all been eaten. We ran past a stile at Lower Holicombe Farm with a home-made "Private Land. No access" sign next to it. I am sure that we've run over these stiles and across two fields in the past. 
 
Bluebird reckons that if the stiles are still in place then it should still be a public right of way.....maybe? Answers on a postcard please. Beefy was well out of sight....and so was Bluebird. Yet again our Birdbrained septuagenarian had opted for road shoes which was not the wisest of choices on the slippery climb up to the top of Holcombe Down.
 
At the top of the track there was a check. I decided to wait for the Bird and hid behind an ex-MOD lorry. Just as Bluebird drew level with the back of the lorry I jumped out to give him a scare.....how childish? (Not needed at my time of life! BB)
 
At almost the highest point on Holcombe down, we rejoined tarmac near Woodlands Farm. Bluebird was delighted....tarmac, hmmmmmm, he could put his road shoes to good use here. Our uphill travails were now rewarded with a two mile downhill, all tarmac decent back to the Devon Arms. The descent followed Woodway Road down to the A379/Dawlish Road.
 
Amazingly, the marks had reappeared and some of them were quite new. Convinced that we were doing a repeat of the Halloween trail, we carried on across Dawlish Road. It looked as though we were still on trail as blobs of flour had now given way to white chalk arrows.
 
It was only upon arriving back at the Devon Arms that we noticed marks leading from the Quay car park to the On-Down. We hadn't been on trail since half way down Woodway Road. 
 
Piltdown did show us where we should have gone but I wasn't wearing my glasses. My guess is that we missed a mark which would have taken us right and along Haldon Avenue. This would have explained why the Bird had only clocked-up 4.84 miles on a trail that was, "just over 5". Nevertheless, it was good to have the Bird for company as I was never going to catch up with Beefy.
 
And now, our new feature to keep y'all amused. I offer up for your edification and possible disapprobation:
 
THE TRAIL FILM REVIEW by the Bird
 
TRUE GRIT (1969)
We Shirley got rollin' rollin' rollin' with the most welcome gritted cliff path as we commenced our climb out of Teignmouth. Great traction for mine Hoka pure bred road shoes, but it would be a short-lived luxury...
 
MUDBOUND (2017)
Piltdown and SM Ellie waving the longs up into the boondocks with a cheerful 'Sharp left after three-quarters of a mile!' The sharp left took Man-Pig and the Bird into a veritable skating rink of slick mud. The Hokas struggled valiantly but were Shirley overwhelmed and gave up the ghost (three hundred miles on the clock so they have served me well). Even walking proved problematic and the heart rate was in the red at 150+. Man-Pig scaring me to death by leaping out from behind a truck certainly woke me up. I won't be forgetting that lane for some time..
 
RUNAWAY TRAIN (1985)
Meanwhile, many minutes earlier, Beefy had breasted the muddy rise, passed the military truck and had careered like a Runaway Train hard a starboard en routey for Teignmouth golf course... long two mile detour sigh...
 
DOWNHILL RACER (1969)
Back with the plodders and Oh Glory Be! Can it be So? (Cruise) Blessed Bird beloved boulevard beckoned and, wait for it, a glorious Downhill Racer back into town with both Man-Pig and the Bird in (So) cruise control.
 
THE DOWNDOWNS
Our beer mugs Shirley overflowed as there were two physical awards on show at the snug tavern. Strap-On had returned with the 'Is that my t-shirt Bluebird?' stand-in Hashit shirt and Archangel had the Horse Head hat unceremoniously stuffed in his back pocket .. neighhhh.
 
With Forrest officiating, the hares were first up to be made an example of - I mean to be recognized for their travails. Piltdown's birthday (yes, on the day) did not go unnoticed and bravely did the hares swap sips of the hallowed water of life.
 
Strap-On blamed a detour from the short (again?) onto the quagmire long on Pisswell who was duly awarded Forrest's slimline Old Guys Rule shirt.
 
Archangel had a sad story to relate. Too long to describe but apparently Forrest had been an 'unsociable git' for hiding when Archangel dropped by... Shirley not Forrest? Horse Head hat homes in on its master yet again... the toast was, more charitably - to 'absent friends'.
 
Two more halves to dispense and outrageously did Forrest ad lib.
 
Poor Piddler was singled out for his signature moaning - this time about Forrest's muttley allegedly doing his doggy-do's en route.
 
Finally, SM Ellie lost out on the awarding of the final half - mainly because it was recalled she had downed three previously from the same venue on her virgin lay!
 
POSTSCRIPT
A score draw [sic] attained with Fukarwi making a special guest appearance in the pub and a good time was Shirley had by all. 
 
After three months of injury, a glimmer of hope tonight as I got round with no twinges (but predictably hobbling the next day) and it was glorious to be able to cautiously stride out once more on the long.
I had wrongly assumed/hoped that the trail would have been mainly on road as was the case the last time we were here. Whatamistakatomaka! 
 
Never mind, another memorable trail and thank goodness I followed Man-Pig on our truncated version. I would not have survived Beefy's 7.21 miler!
 
The Deck Hand was great while it lasted but I can confirm that the Gun Dog was an excellent substitute.
 
Well done the hares and thanks to the pub for their hospitality.
 
ON ON to next week and the BIG 1900 HASH from the Cridford Inn at Trusham with Forrest.

MISMANAGEMENT

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie

HASH SUBS 2022

This years membership, which is due now is £25 Alternatively you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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