INSPIRED HARES & FINE CHOCOLATES
by Man-Pig
Run #1904 Monday 14th February from the Palk Arms at Hennock
HARES: Melon-Picker & Soapy
Who
wuz there: Melon-Picker, Soapy, Shitfaced, Piltdown Man, Georgy-Porgy,
Cheerio-Beerio, Hotlips, Zoot, Forrest-Stump (pubee) , Teapot,
Wetfart, Beefy, Well-Hopped, Ned, Swinger, Wet-Johnny, Manopause,
Erection, Broadshit, Coldtits, Man-Pig, Fallen Woman, Able, Rambo,
returnees UB, Notty and virgins Sarah, Andy and Jacqui.
Who wuzn't: apologies from Bluebird and Bobbiball, Smellie (Covid)
THE CIRCLE
It's
been a while since we last ran from the Palk Arms. In the daylight it
has the most stunning of views over the Teign Valley. However, even
with a clear night and an almost full moon, the views were lost from
sight. Cue a hash from here in the summer so that we can appreciate the
scenery. Sunday's weather had been atrocious and the temperature had
dropped throughout the day on Monday. How many would turn up? A goodly
number, 27 all told - including two returnees and three virgins.
Teapot
welcomed virgins Sarah (works at Hennock primary school) and Andy
(took the King's shilling at the Park Inn courtesy of Shitfaced and was
duly press-ganged unto turning up) into the circle. Both were anointed
in the traditional manner - with a liberal dusting of flour. Sarah
almost got nominated for a down-down before we'd even started the
trail. Accused of having "new shoes", she replied, "I've only just
cleaned them!"......in this weather?
Shitfaced
gave us a quick plug for the distillery tour on 26 February and then
it was the spiel from the Hares: "Walkers' trail about 2 miles - but
have your sweeties now as you will miss the sweetie-stop. Shorts about
three and a half. Longs five. Three Long/Short splits. There is a
sweetie-stop". A little confusion as to whether the marks were on the
left or the right. It was concluded that the marks could be either.
THE TRAIL
Man-Pig
led the charge as the Hares directed us back down Church Lane, through
the village and past the primary school to the first Long/Shorts and
Walkers split. The Longs went left down a footpath last used by the
Walkers on Forrest's Firework Hash trail. The Walkers and the Shorts
continued down to Five Lanes Junction where the Hares directed them up
the muddy footpath known as Beacon Lane. I am assuming that Beacon Lane
is so called because it had a signal beacon at it's highest point to
warn of the attempted invasion by the Spanish Armada. If anyone knows
any different, answers on a postcard please.
HARES INSPIRED
Beacon
Lane rejoins tarmac at Chericombehead where, yet again, the Hare was
waiting for us. This was another five way junction and afforded a
natural point at which to direct the Longs, Shorts and Walkers onto
different trails - how inspired is that?
POUNDSHOP SHARES PLUMMET
Melonpicker
directed the Longs left towards Shaptor Cross. The Walkers went right
and straight down Bell Lane and back to the pub. The Shorts was almost
straight across and a long downhill canter along Beadon Lane to the
bridge over Beadon Brook. The trail beared right and into Netton Cleave
Wood where Soapy was manning the superior Valentine's Day sweetie-stop.
No plastic bags of sweets from the Poundshop here. A fine box of milk
chocolates.....hmmm, lovely.
NIGHT FISHING (2011)
From
here the trail ran a short way along Beardon Brook till a single plank
footbridge took us onto the public footpath on the south side of the
brook. Up and up we went through woodland following very clear and very
close marks. Past Great Rock and a disused mine before dropping
steeply down to a small lake where some anglers were doing a spot of
night fishing.
At
the bottom of the steep descent it was a right turn at Greatrock Farm
and up a concrete road for 100 yards before turning left and following
the footpath signs up a very steep track through woodland. At the top a
traverse along the edge of an open field before joining the dead end
of the lane that took us back to the Palk Arms. All very well laid with
plenty of clear marks. Big thumbs up, well done Hares.
The
Longs, meanwhile, had to contend with 2/3 Long/Short splits. The first
was in Hennock and took us down a footpath to Warm Hill Farm and a
check. Man-PIg, who thought he knew where he was, checked downhill.
BONG! Wrong. Beefy checked up Warm Hill and came to a check at the
first crossroads.
I
reached the check to find Swinger, Well-Hopped and Ned waiting for a
call. It was almost certainly straight on and up to Five Lanes. Wrong
again. Broadshit returned from the right calling, "False trail". Then,
in the opposite direction; this was Beefy calling. The trail was left
and heading away from Hennock. Not a good sign.
SHAMEFACED?
A
fairly long downhill to another check at a junction with a muddy track
on the right hand side. This looked promising and it wasn't long
before we heard Beefy calling "On-On". I'd never been up here before.
It is, incredulously, classified as a road! It is called Shamefaced
Lane (I wonder why?).
WETFART CALLS TIME
Sure
enough, it exited at Five Lanes where we rejoined the Longs and the
Walkers. Ascending the very wet Beacon Lane, it wasn't long before
hashers came into sight. These would be the Walkers. We'd caught up
with Wetfart who was suffering the interminable hill. "Shout when you
reach the top Man-Pig", was Wetfart's plea to which I was happy to
oblige. Next to be overtaken was Coldtits. Then Shitfaced. Just before
arriving at Chericombehead we passed Zoot and Hotlips.
WETFART REVISITED
At
Chericombehead, the Longs went left and then right at Shaptor Cross to
arrive back at the Walkers/Short & Longs split at Chericombehead.
I'd been pretty much on my own since the second check. No sight of
Beefy in front of me or Swinger, Well-Hopped and Broadshit behind me.
Hence it came as a welcome respite to catch up with Wetfart for the
second time on the descent down Beadon Lane.
THE LAST TRAIL (1927)
A
short while later and I caught up with Coldtits, again, and then
Manopause and Erection just before the sweetie-stop. After a very nice
chocolate, I carried on along the trail to find Melon-Picker guiding
Hashers towards the footbridge. This was the last Hasher that I would
see on trail until the pub. Just as well the trail was well marked.
THE DOWN-DOWNS
Thine
RA Man-Pig welcomed everyone to the Palk Inn. The first item on the
agenda was to thank the pub for opening as it has only just started
reopening on Monday nights. Indeed, apart from the Hash there were only
two punters at the bar. We, additionally, thanked the pub for the
beer. Most hashers had, in fact, found something pink to wear in the
pub. However, most hashers had not brought their better halves. Would
we all be in the dog house when we got home?
TEAPOT'S TALL TALES
Without
further ado, it was time to dish out the Awards. Wetfart had the
Hashshit shirt. This he awarded to Teapot for compulsive lying. Teapot
had made up stories about how good/ bad, hilly/flat, wet/dry the trail
was when he hadn't done any of it! A note for Pinnochio and his long
nose.
HORSE HEAD HAT HOMES IN ON CARROT-CRUNCHER
Next
up was Man-Pig who had the Horse Head Hat to give away. Having seen
nothing on trail apart from a mouse and a box of chocolates he had to
think hard. It was almost a full moon and the road sections could
easily be managed without the use of a torch. However, Beefy was
observed taking his torch into the pub. Obviously he needs to improve
his night vision by increasing Beta-Carotene in his diet. A note for
the carrot-cruncher.
PUDDING & PIE FOR BIRTHDAY GIRL?
No
more stories or, indeed, awards. But there was a birthday girl. It was
Georgy Porgy's birthday the previous day. Obviously, "All the right
notes. Not necessarily in the right order".
HARES COME DANCING
As
Georgy had opted for water, this left two halves to be distributed.
No-one more deserving than our two Hares for the evening. Before the
down-downs there was some discussion about the missing Songmeister, as
only he knows all the songs and all the words. Nevertheless, there was
some recollection of, "I'm climbing up sunshine mountain...." followed
by a passable attempt at Father Abraham with all the associated limb
movements and "Oooohs" and "Ahhhrs".....interesting. Accordingly a note
for "Come dancing".
Well done Hares. Good trail. Good marks and well done everyone who made the effort to find something pink.
* I couldn't resist..
NEXT WEEK
Smugglers Inn near Holcombe, between Teignmouth and Dawlish. Hare is Piltdown Man, no doubt assisted by Georgy Porgy.
On-On to next week.
No comments:
Post a Comment