A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

CHEERS FOR CHEERIO BEERIO'S VIRGIN TRAIL - 'DISABLED' ABLE CLAIMS HER 900 BADGE - RAMBO JOINS DORIS ON AWESOME 1400 RUN

Run #1903 Monday 7th February from the Lord Nelson, Kingskerswell
 

HARES: Cheerio-Beerio, Little Eva, Zoot & Hotlips
 
Who wuz there: Cheerio-Beerio, Hotlips, Zoot, Shitfaced, Forrest-Stump, Teapot, Pollyfella, Bluebird, Beefy, Pisswell (late but earlier than last week), Threesum, Martin, Piltdown-Man, Georgie-Porgy, Smellie, Broadshit, Coldtits, Wetfart, Man-Pig, Archangel, Only Here for the Beer, Rambo, Able Semen, Tamsin, Strap-On, Well Hopped, Big End & Ned, Wet Johnny, Manopause and Erection.
 
Through a gloomy gorge she struggled, valley of the shade of death..
The rutted and tortuous ascent began to take its dreadful toll and she struggled to catch her breath.
And then - her head torch failed and she was overtaken by an all-consuming darkness...
 
It was indeed going to be A Night to Remember (1958) for the 'disabled' Able.
 
THE CIRCLE
It was back to Kingskerswell, the adopted home of Teign Valley Hash, for Cheerio-Beerio's virgin lay. As usual, Shitfaced welcomed all to the hash and put in a plug for the Dartmoor Distillery visit. This is scheduled for the afternoon of 26th February.
 
With no announcements, virgins or returnees, it was straight over to our virgin hare for the evening, Cheerio-Beerio. Before describing the trail, Cheerio wanted to know how many people would be wanting sausage and chips in the pub afterwards. Cheerio counted seven raised hands and then queried, "Is that correct?", to which Only Here for the Beer innocently replied, "I don't know. I wasn't counting". Great merriment all round. With seven confirmed sausage noshers Cheerio gave us the barest, but nevertheless accurate, description of the trail: "Walkers two and a half. Shorts three and a half. Longs five and a half. Three dots and On". And On it was.
 
THE TRAIL
The Hash continued to make a major contribution to major flour shortages in the Torbay area as an enormous arrow directed us left and up Fluder Hill. Just past the junction between Fluder Hill and Southey Lane an arrow, partially concealed by roadworks, took us left and down the narrow lane and through Daccombe Mill. 
 
Bluebird had stolen an early lead followed by a struggling Man-Pig (with a working torch this week). It wasn't long before Beefy overtook with the three of us arriving at a crossroads and the first check by Aller Brook House. The trail led straight across and into the footpath that runs along the edge of Aller Brook. At the end of the footpath another large arrow. Left and uphill towards Coffinswell.
At the first junction another check. Beefy made a beeline for Coffinswell. Man-Pig opted for the obscure little lane to the left. Bluebird, as a true hash professional, stood on the check waiting for someone to call. Three dots in rapid succession and a call from the Pig. Left it is, but only for 100 yards before a junction and an arrow pointing right towards Coffinswell Church. At the bottom of the hill, some 250 yards distant, the Walkers/Long split.
 
The Walkers went left and up and over the footpath known as Coffinswell Lane. Coffinswell Lane starts as a fairly wide and steep footpath but narrows considerably at its zenith. It is also the route of a cast iron water main which occasionally breaks the surface. In places it is quite deeply rutted and unstable under foot. However, it is a footpath well worn by the hash over a number of years.
 
Despite being dry, on this particular evening, many of the Walkers found it more akin to an ankle breaking torture rather than an evening's jolly jaunt in the countryside. When tarmac was eventually encountered, outside Kingskerswell Primary School, it was a simple walk down to the Sloop and a left along Kerswell Road and back to the Lord Nelson. Suffering Walkers included Wetfart, Able Semen, Rambo and Shitfaced. No whining from Only here for the Beer. Heeding last week's mantra that Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance, Only Here for the Beer had adorned ankle high hiking boots for the evening....a good choice sir!
 
Back on trail, the Longs and the Shorts contained back into the centre of Coffinswell, passing the Church and Only Here for the Beer's former two residences. Outside the Linney, another arrow directed us left and through one of Devon's prettiest villages (well, in the daylight it is!). After 250 yards a check. Man-Pig checked uphill but after only 25 feet encountered the three dots. Back to the check to kick it out. Beefy, Pollyfella and the Bird were just arriving at the check and all four of us ran up the hill past a house on the right hand side called "Tickenham". I always remember this name because it sounds like Twickenham. Talking of which, did anyone see the rugby at the weekend?
 
Almost inevitably, the trail took us onto Milber Lane, behind Aller quarry, and past Haccombe Farm House and the Paraprick residence. Just outside his residence, we encountered the Long/Short split. The Shorts went left and down Yew Tree Hill to Romany Jones. Then it was left and a straight run back to the pub along the main road through Kingskerswell.
 
The Longs continued along Milber Lane, behind Aller, almost to its end. Beefy was in pole position and pulling away. Man-Pig, Lewis Hamiltonesque, in second position but torchlight not far behind. This was a partially recovered Polyfella. No sign of Bluebird. This was not surprising as he'd gone on the Short's trail.
 
At the end of Milber Lane, yet another arrow. This directing us into first, Ben Stedman Wood and then the Penn Inn Plantation. The marks were good. Very good. No chance of getting lost on this hash. I had lost sight of Beefy. He must have pulled away. But I could hear someone behind me and they were catching up fast. I was pushing myself hard. Who on earth could this be? Was it Wet-Johnny? I hadn't seen him at the Circle. Tamsin perhaps? She is quite quick. Whoever it was, they had a jolly bright torch. Curiosity got the better of me. I pulled over to let the athlete overtake. It was Beefy. "I thought you were in front of me?". "I was", came the reply, "But I stopped for a pee". Hash slash it was then.
A few yards later and we came to the end of the woods just north of the Penn Inn roundabout. With no-one else in sight, it was a left turn and into the Milber Housing estate. It wasn't long before we picked up the dots as we ran back towards Kingskerswell, parallel with the new Kingskweswell bypass. Beefy continued to pull out a lead as we progressed towards the On-Down. Along a straight patch of road I looked behind me too see if there was anyone else on the longs. Maybe 300 yards away I could see a lone Hasher. This was Pollyfella. A pretty good effort as he's just returned from injury. 
 
Outside Romany Jones the Longs' trail rejoined the Shorts' trail. By the time I reached the Sloop I had caught up with the co-hares for the evening, Zoot and Hotlips. "On-On", "On-On' is the traditional Hash response as I staggered past en route to a quick shower before the Down-Downs.
 
Thankyou Hares. I thought that it was a jolly good effort by Cheeri-Beerio on her virgin lay. The three closely spaced dots certainly made for a fast run. Back at the pub by 8.13 so plenty of time for a s**t, shower and s**g before heading back to the On-Down (only one of those three is true).
 
NELLIE DOWNDOWNS
Commenced as usual by thanking the pub for the beer, but we may have been a tad premature with the applause. With three awards from last week and two big badges on the agenda, the RA Forrest was faced with a Five Fishes and Two Loaves dilemma. You'll see what I mean later Oh Dearly Short-Changed..
 
HEINOUS PAVEMENT PARKING
First to be summoned to the oche was Wetfart for alleged pavement parking. The usual 'treat' of Wetfart stripping off for the event was cancelled and a cheer went up. A note for the Pavement Parker, he's so blue!
 
SHIRT MISTAKA
Archangel, accompanied by the bewhiskered cum pampas grass chewing Homing Horse Head hat called into question Man-Pig's Burn's Night dress code - wearing a New Zealand shirt. A note for Scotland the Brave please.
 
ROAD TRIP RECIPES
Pollyfella was honest to admit that he had gone to the Park Inn (we did wonder why he was seen running on the main road prior to the circle) but never mind and the Jester's Hat was destined for ThreeSum for entertaining online with various road trip recipes. A note for gluttony please..
 
RUN OUT OF BEERIO?
Only two awards as we had run out of beer. It seems that there were only three halves supplied but times being as they are, understandable - but perhaps we should have bought two more halves as is usual when this happens?
 
Fortunately, no beer was needed for our successful virgin hare Cheerio Beerio - the name gave the clue and she downed a water before the Big Badge awardees took centre stage. And when I say BIG I mean VERY BIG BADGES.
 
Able survived the walkers hill of woe to take possession of her 900 run badge in a fetching yellow - the badge you fools, not Able!
 
Fellow hill of woe survivor Rambo swept to joint first place in the Teign Valley Hash Hall of Fame with a stupendous 1400 run badge, joining dear Doris. 
 
We bow to your achievement Rambo - awesome, just plain awesome.
 
POSTSCRIPT
Didn't she do well! Yes, three cheers for Cheerio Beerio's virgin lay. I had good reason to applaud as the L/S split came not a moment too soon. Pollyfella sensed I was struggling and paused to make sure all was well as I saluted and gratefully free-wheeled down to Zigzag quarry and the haven of the main road run in.
 
Cheerio may have half thought that I was half serious (me?) when I teased about the Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) that the walkers encountered on their two mile odyssey but it certainly tasked those that undertook the trail and well done those that did! I don't think I would have relished descending that lane with no head torch!
 
I cannot recall - possibly as it has never happened on a hash before - an award not being given owing to no available beer and let's hope that a further shrinkage of the downdown (the pint downdown a fading memory - when hashers were hashers) is on the cards. Mind you, they do a third of a pint beer glass!
And high sweltering summer Shirley arrived early inside the Nelson with that fierce log burner. All we needed was a ladle of water to have a group sauna!
 
ON ON to next week and the Palk Arms, Hennock. Hares are Soapy and Melonpicker for the St Valentine's Day hash (for those of us who are allowed out). WEAR SOMETHING PINK!
 
It's goodbye from Man-Pig and goodbye from me. ON ON!

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
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On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
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Hash Cash Threesome
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Social Sec Wet Johnny
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HASH SUBS 2022

This years membership, which is due now is £25 Alternatively you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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