A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

TRIPLE BIRTHDAY BOY - RENT A HARES & ONE MILLION CALORIES B.C.

by Man-Pig

Run #1908 Monday 14th March from the Park Inn
 
HARE: "Shitfaced" & friends!
 
Stentorian sang the centurion atop the wooded valley and tormented were the legionnaires of the Imperial TVH who toiled up the rocky and treacherous incline. Oh Yes, Oh Dearly Deja Vu, there was a Bluebird singing over the muddy cliffs of Coffinswell...
 
Who wuz there: Shitfaced, Bluebird, Man-Pig, Archangel, Bobbiball, Forrest Stump, T-Humper, Ipoo'd, Piltdown Man, Georgy-Porgy, Only Here for the Beer, Andy (newby from the Park Inn), Melonpicker, Soapy, Teapot, Wetfart, Beefy, Pisswell, Wet-Johnny, Erection, Manopause, Rambo, Fallen Woman, Broken Man, Piddler, Triple Jump and Julie (apres trail), Ablesemen, TT, Slip On Me, Floss (post run beer only). Informed that Artful Dogger and Muttley were there as well.
 
THE CIRCLE
Historically, this had been the St Patrick's Day hash and the Hare has been Irish birthday boy Arkangel. However, this year the green tradition has been usurped by the GM.....and for good reason. For it is Shitfaced's 40th birthday on the 18th.
 
Now, I don't know if the lofty status of GM has gone to Shitfaced's head, but he has gone one better than the Queen. Her Majesty only hs two birthdays a year. Shitfaced has three. Monday's run was birthday No.1; Thursday is his actual birthday and on Saturday he has his official 40th birthday party at Forde Hall in Newton Abbot. Shitfaced welcomed everyone into the circle.
 
Tonight there would be a pre-birthday barbecue laid on, gratis, by the birthday boy and prepared by Park 'n' Ride.....and how excellent it was - replete with a gorgeous pavlova courtesy of Soapy. In addition to the evening's free scoff, Shitfaced invited all the Hash to his official party. This will take place at Forde Hall, Newton Abbot from 7pm till midnight on Saturday 19th March. Splendid.
Over to the Hare(s). Shitfaced looked towards Man-Pig. Well, after all, he did have a barbecue to organise! In fairness, Bluebird did offer the services of himself and Man-Pig to help lay the trail at the end of last week's Awards Night.
 
Man-Pig described the trail whilst Bluebird disappeared in his car to, "do something on the trail". Man-Pig advised that there were three long-short splits and a short-walkers' split. The Walkers' would be circa 2 miles, Shorts 4.5 to 5 and the Longs pushing on 7 miles....or so he thought.
 
As it transpired, Bluebird's, "doing something on trail" turned out to be him morphing into a traffic warden. This was in order to knock half a mile off the Shorts' trail. The Hare then recommended that, if the Shorts didn't want too long a trail, just do the second Long/Short split.
 
THE TRAIL
The trail took us straight across the road from the Park Inn car park and up the pedestrian alleyway and onto the first check on Park Road. After quite a bit of checking, and an absence of marks, it was "On-On" left and along Woodlands Avenue and the junction with Coles Lane. Another check, barely visible in peach coloured chalk. On-right and up to the A380; the main road which bisects Kingskerswell. Down towards the quarry at Aller Brake and the first Long/Short split.
 
The Walkers and Shorts climbed up Yew Tree Climb to Paraprick's pad on Milber Lane before turning right towards Coffinswell. The Longs, meanwhile, embarked on a 700 metre loop down the old A380 and then back to Romany Jones' cafe via a track that runs parallel with the main road.
 
Now back on the Shorts' and Walkers' trail the Longs pushed on to the next Long/Short split. This was at the end of Milber Lane at its junction with Blackenway Lane. The Shorts and Walkers went right. After 100 yards they arrived at the Shorts/Walkers' split. The Walkers went right and dropped back onto the A380 just behind the garage that sells the camper vans. It was then a simple backtracking of the outward trail back to the pub.
 
SIREN (2016 horror)
The Shorts went left and towards the centre of Coffinswell. After 300 yards, a large arrow directed them down a broad track called Kerswell Lane. This then rises steeply to the top of Kerswell Hill where we could see a very bright torch and hear (unmelodious) singing, screeching, yodelling - call it what you will. This, unsurprisingly, turned out to be the siren call of Bluebird luring hashers to their fate.
In reality, it was Bluebird correcting a trail laying error from earlier in the day which had resulted in an additional, and unplanned, half mile loop. In his new role as yodeller cum traffic policeman, he guided Hashers to the top of Kerswell Hill where all were ushered left and across the field at the top of Kerswell Hill. Coldtits and I followed the harrowing sounds to the crest where Bluebird confirmed who had and had not passed through beforehand. Quite a few Shorts had been through including, surprisingly, Forrest Stump with Muttley. The usual FRB's would still be on the second lang/Short split but no-one knew where Piddler was. Was he on the Long? We never found out. (I forgot that he was next on trail behind Forrest. BB).
 
In daylight, this highpoint delivers a spectacularly picturesque view over the village of Coffinswell. At nighttime, it additionally afforded Bluebird a birdseye [sic] view of Hashers' torches proceeding through the village.
 
After crossing the field atop Kerswell Hill, it was a left turn and back down the track known as Coffinswell Lane. Coffinswell Lane exits onto Willowpark Lane near Coffinswell church. A right turn and continue along Willowpark Lane to the final Long/Short split.
 
Meanwhile, back at the second Long/Short split Beefy, Pisswell, Manopause and Erection had climbed up Blackenway Lane to its junction with St Marychurch Road. Here they came upon a peculiar mark - a circle with a cross in it. Completey befuddled by this alien mark, they took it as a Ha Ha and decided to run all the way back to the previous Long/Short split in order to rejoin the Shorts' trail.
 
On the way down Blackenway Lane, they came across Arkangel plodding slowly uphill. They recounted the story of the mystery mark. Arkangel explained that this was a back check. There would have been a turn off somewhere near the mark which they had missed.
 
Unconvinced by this explanation, the quartet continued down Blackenway Lane to embark on the Shorts' trail. Arkangel, meanwhile, continued up to the top of the lane. Twenty five yards before its junction with St Marychruch Road, there is a galvanised steel gate on the right. In truth, it is pretty concealed but it leads onto a public footpath across the edge of a 150 yard wide field. On the other side of the field is another galvanised steel gate. This exits onto Connybear Lane. The trail then beared right, dropping into Coffinswell via another footpath that runs infront of two large posh houses, before rejoining the Shorts. Well done Arkangel. The only hasher to stay on trail for the entire hash!
 
Back at the bottom of Coffinswell Lane, Coldtits and I trotted first up and then down Willowpath Lane to the final Long/Short split at the junction with Daccombe Mill Lane. The FRB's had just caught us up. Manopause and erection elected to follow Coldtits on the Shorts. This part of trail went along the occasionally flooded, Daccombe Mill Lane to Kingskerswell where it enters the village just above the Lord Nelson on Fluder Hill.
 
Beefy, Pisswell and myself opted for the Long which added just over a mile to the trail. This took us upto the crossroads at the top of Fluder Hill. If we had continued straight across the crossroads, we would have had a fairly steep descent down to Kerswell Gardens. The Hare was not so cruel. The trail took us right and along the crest of Fluder Hill before the long descent back to the village. We were convinced that we were the only ones to have done the final Long. But what was this in front of us? None other than Melonpicker....a closet FRB!
 
Passing the Lord Nelson on our right, we arrived at the village war memorial where we came to a faint chalk "OH". This took us right and along School Road and Coles Lane and back to the on-down and the barbecue that awaited us.......if there was any left. There was!
 
Thanks to Shifaced and Park'n'Ride for laying on the barbecue and thanks to Soapy for a wonderful pavlova.....and the grand finale? Rum and raisin and Baileys alcoholic fudge crafted by soon-to-be super chef, I'Pood. Well done all.
 
BARBIE DOWN-DOWNS
 
A DOWN-DOWN OF TWO HALVES
I-Poo'd awarded the Jester's Hat to Birthday Boy Shitfaced - after he had his Birthday DD, they were only halves after all.
 
SHE'S L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D
Forrest, his ears still ringing from the trail onslaught cacophany, nominated the stentorian centurion but wary of being counter- downdowned, sensibly lumbered Pisswell with the Hashit Shirt for flashing a light on exiting the CP. 
 
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
Delivering the Baby Bat Hat was problematic as the Bird, perched atop a five barred gate for much of the evening had Much Ado About Nothing as Will would have whispered. However, there was a rumour emanating from the Penners' beer table and, in desperation, the Bird flew [Shirley sic you fools] with it.
Sorry, Beefy, old mate, they made me do it...
 
HORSE HAT CHELTENHAM BOUND
'Where's Ned?' enquired Wetfart who had sussed that the Homing Horse Head Hat was missing from the show.
Well neigh, it's a most special week - Cheltenham Oh Glory Be! and the horsey will be watching with me of course!
 
T Humper was awarded a 100 Run Badge and a celebration half to seal the deal.
 
ONE MILLION CALORIES B.C. (2022)
Another Birthday Boy was brought forward for a celebratory drink - Come on down Archangel please! And with that, the One Million Calories B.C. (2022) creation was produced courtesy of Soapy and a few helpings were dished out - but leaving the bulk of the calorie 'bombe' for the Grand (now even grander) Master to demolish.... whoa!
 
NEXT WEEK
Teigngrace car park near the river. The on-down is the Kings Arms, Kingsteignton. Original Hares of Pork Torpedo and Horny are, unfortunately, unavailable due to covid. It currently looks like replacement Hares will be Forrest-Stump and Arkangel.
 
Don't forget Shitfaced's party at Forde Hall this Saturday.
 
And so it's goodbye from Man-Pig and goodbye from me.
On-On to next week.

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Trail Raiser Rambo
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec Wet Johnny
Web /Web Master Bluebird

HASH SUBS 2022

This years membership, which is due now is £25 Alternatively you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

SC