A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

TVH3 The Words for 11th April 2022 - Court Farm, Abbotskerswell - The Cloverleaf - Run No. 1912

by Man-Pig

HARE: Piddler
 
Who wuz there: Piddler, Going Down, Bluebird, Man-Pig, Arkangel, Only Here for the Beer, Piltdown Man, Smellie, Broadshit, Melonpicker, Soapy, Wash 'n' Go, Aloe Vera, Teapot, Wetfart, Beefy, Pisswell, Rambo, Fallen Woman, Coldtits, Tamsin (needs a name), U-Bend, Wet-Johnny, Erection, Manopause, Strap-On, Mrs Strap-On (now Strap-Dancer), Bobbiball, Screwed, Bella, Rise 'n' Shine, Mateus Rose, Teararse.
 
The Circle
In the absence of our GM, U-Bend was notionally earmarked as stand-in RA for the evening. Piddler's main concern seemed to be filling out a questionnaire regarding who wanted a hot buffet and Pisswell was now taking money.....still not sure what she was taking money for but she had gathered £4 by the end of the evening.
 
U-Bend welcomed everyone into the circle.....well, not quite everyone as Tamsin snuck into the last available car parking space just as the circle finished and Coldtits had yet to arrive. This was a bit of a shame as the Hares instructions were.....errrrrrrm......baffling. "For those people on the Longs, ignore the Longs' arrows!". Piddler then went on to befuddle the easily befuddled even more. "There are three loops. Each loop finishes back here at the pub. Make sure you return to the pub and I shall direct you onto the next loop".
 
The Trail
Well, the instructions sounded simple enough. However they were predicated on two assumptions:
1) that hashers would all make it back to the pub - not necessarily a given
2) that Piddler would, indeed, be back at the pub to offer his divine guidance.....hmmmmmmm
The Longs and the Shorts exited the pub car park via the pedestrian gate to the left of the entrance drive. We then wound our way onto Slade Lane in the centre of Abbotskerswell and the first Long/Short split/loop and confusion. There were marks on both sides of the road. Neither were dots. On one side of the road were lines of flour about a foot long. On the other side of the road there were similar lines but these were all accompanied by a flour "L". We assumed that the latter must be the return leg of the loop.
 
The Longs trail (if that was what we were on?) led us northwest along Slade Lane before bearing right and up Ford Road. Beefy was the FRB as the trail then went straight across Manor Road and followed the footpath uphill and across an open field. Well, this is not entirely accurate.
 
Up until 3 years ago, the footpath did run through an open field that was used for village fetes and children's games. For all practical purposes it was used as the village green. Now the footpath is fenced in on both sides. I don't know why it had been fenced in but it was a shame to pass the 3 large oak trees, now inaccessible, in the middle of the field. For many years I have run past these oaks and at least one of them has always had a swing or a rope hanging off its boughs for the children to play on........now nothing.
 
On Stoneman's Hill our first check. Beefy went left whilst Man-Pig checked right. Both were back checks. The only alternative was a dogleg and onto the public footpath that would take us down to Decoy Woods. This was going to be a long loop.
 
Wet-Johnny led the pack down into the edge of Decoy Brake and another check. Man-Pig went left only to find a false trail. Wet-Johnny had gone straight ahead into the woods and was now calling "On-On" just as the rest of the FRB's caught up. These comprised Broadshit and the remaining Penners - Erection and Manopause. Other regular Longs were not in sight. Smellie has a foot injury, Tamsin might still be recovering from Covid and Arkangel was on-trail but conducting it at a more leisurely pace.
 
I was now at the back of the Longs, but not for Long as the FRB's had overrun a junction and stumbled across another back check. I guessed that Wet-Johnny was in front of me but I never did see him again till the pub.
 
The trail skirted the south western edge of Decoy Woods. Upon exiting the woods onto a cart track we came to a check. Man-Pig was already checking out the public footpath that runs southwest along a hedgebank. Sure enough, at the end of the first field we came to the third mark, "On-On". We crossed the corner of the second field before entering the field with the deserted barn slap, bang in the centre of it. The last time we ran through this field it was planted with maize 6 feet tall.
 
The footpath rejoined tarmac on Priory Road. Behind me I could see Broadshit, Beefy and the Penners. No sign of Wet-Johnny though. Was he in front or behind?
 
Arriving back at Court Farm car park, I caught up with Screwed, Bella and Piltdown Man. They said that they'd been a little off trail and were doing their own thing. In the absence of any sign of Piddler in the pub car park I embarked on the second loop.
 
This took us into the churchyard and immediately right and along the footpath, crossing Corn Park Road before turning left onto Court Grange Road. The trail took us onto the homemade cycle cross track that runs parallel with the road for 200 yards. Back on tarmac and yet another back check (Piddler really likes these!). A track marked as a public footpath took us due south and almost to Whiddon Road and.....you guessed it.....another back check! Back down the flooded footpath that we've hashed along many times in the past.
 
At the end of the perpetually flooded section of track, we turned right and through a galvanised steel pedestrian gate. This had us traversing the two fields that took us back to the pub on Wilton Way. This time Piddler was present!
 
Q. "Where have you been Man-Pig?"
A. "Decoy Woods and then the second loop through the graveyard"
"You fool. You've done the third loop second"
"Well. You weren't in the car park to give directions!"
 
With that, Piddler imparted the divine wisdom that had me on the third/second loop down Grange Road before joining Wilton Way and bearing right past the Butchers Arms. I wonder if it will ever reopen as a pub? The out and return legs took us up a track that then narrowed into a footpath. It was just getting dark and two torches were coming towards me. It was Smellie and Anne on the Walkers trail. A quick "Hello" and "Goodbye" and it wasn't long before I was in a field and catching up with Arkangel just below the power pylons. We were having a quiet conversation about Exeter Chiefs' win over Munster when the peace was shattered by the Pillock with the small horn. Bluebird was wandering around parts of the trail blowing his horn. Exiting the field, we came to the final check which had been kicked out to the right to the final (or should that be second?) return leg.
 
The idea of setting a trail in the shape of a clover leaf is inspired. However, it will always need co-ordination at its centre. It almost worked. The publicised distance of 5 miles wasn't far off. My elderly, and occasionally dodgy, Garmin recorded 5.43 miles; probably not far off the mark.
 
Well done Piddler. You nearly pulled it off. Now, where is Coldtits?
 
The Down-Downs
Hashshit shirt absent as it is with Shitfaced.
 
Jester's hat from Manopause to Wet-Johnny for not shouting "On-On".....He's the meanest. He sucks etc.
 
Wet-Johnny gives baby bat hat to Beefy for wearing dodgy leather gloves on trail. A note for the rapist.
Piddler a very slow down-down for setting the trail.
 
Anne gets named Strap-Dancing.
 
Next week
Passage House Inn, Kingsteignton with Screwed as hare - no doubt assisted by Bella.
On-On to next week.

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Trail Raiser Rambo
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec Wet Johnny
Web /Web Master Bluebird

HASH SUBS 2022

This years membership, which is due now is £25 Alternatively you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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