Run No. 1915 TVH3 The Words for 2nd May 2022
Circle-up from South Brent Railway Station Car Park
HARE: Man-Pig
Who wuz there: Man-Pig, Beefy, Shitfaced, Ernie, Rambo, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie.
The Circle
The
Circle was, erm, well - small. Only ten souls arrived at South Brent
(Primrose Junction) station car park for the May Bank Holiday hash.
Bank holidays are always quite iffy to call in respect of numbers. Some
people are on holiday, others have visitors staying and some have
"looking after the children" commitments.
The
weather also didn't help; Sunday and Monday were more damp than
raining. Shitfaced also commented on the distance. Historically, South
Brent has never been out of area for Teign Valley Hash. We have had
several hashes from here in the past, usually hared by Poacher. Other
regular "far away" venues have, in the past, included Dunsford, Halwell,
Drewsteignton, Exeter, Mortonhampstead and Chagford. So, South Brent
is not so far really.
However,
10 is not the lowest TVH3 turnout recorded on a bank holiday. I do
recall a McWot trail about 17 years ago, in Kingskerswell. It was the
August bank holiday. We had eight!*
Shitfaced
announced that there were no announcements and then waited another ten
minutes to see if anyone else would turn up. By 7.30 ,it was over to
the Hare.
Man-Pig
confirmed that there was a Walkers', Shorts' and Longs'. Approximate
distances: 1.5 miles, 4.5 miles and 5.5 miles. There would be quite a
few back checks. Some blank faces suggested that I might have reverted
back to my native gaelic in my final sentence. The Pig clarified what a
back check was and everyone seemed happy enough.
The Trail
The
trail was simple. In basic terms we were going up the River Avon on
its southwest side and returning back along its northeast side.
The
Walkers would follow the trail up to Penstave Copse. Here they could
go off-trail and follow any of the paths within this piece of woodland
which is managed by the Woodland Trust. They would, eventually, always
come back to the marked trail as there are only two ways in and out of
the copse. They would then backtrack on the outward trail back to the
car park......Simples!
The Shorts would carry on up to Didworthy and then follow the public footpath back to South Brent via Lutton.
The
Longs would do the Shorts plus a two Long/Short splits. The first L/S
split was at Binnamore Cross and took the Longs on a half mile loop up
around Badworthy before rejoining the Shorts opposite the junction for
Didworthy.
The
second Long/Short split had the Longs on another loop. Instead of
heading straight into Didworthy, they looped up to Shipley Bridge and
then back into Didworthy via the public footpath.....but only after
having encountered another back check.
The
Walkers comprised Piltdown Man, George Porgey and Smellie. Smellie was
still recovering from a bad cold and was also having treatment for a
tight tendon in her foot. Hence no running for at least a month. 1.5
miles seemed too short and 4.5 miles too long given her foot injury. We
agreed on a happy medium. "Wander around the woods until you've
covered 2.5 miles and then walk back to the pub. The woods are very
pretty this time of year". And that is what Smellie did.
The
Shorts had Big End, Well Hopped and Ned running it all. At the more
relaxed end of the athletic spectrum Rambo and Shitfaced walked the
entire Shorts trail and weren't even late for the pub!
Only
Beefy and Ernie committed to both of the Longs and they were quite
close together. It was good to see Beefy back after a two week absence
due to covid and my apologies to Ernie as I missed him off last week's
Words.
The Down-Downs
Back
in the pub everyone commented on how nice the run was. It is the time
of year that the bluebells are out in force on the moor; especially in
woodland. Frankly, you could hardly move for bluebells. It was a very
picturesque trail with three viewpoints marked en route. It was a shame
that the weather wasn't a bit better - the views would have been even
more stunning.
The
pub cum cafe had opened especially for us. The owner, Richard, is an
ex South Hams hasher. He had got a pin (36 pints) of Dartmoor Jail Ale
in especially for us as the cafe doesn't usually do draught ale.
Additionally, he had put on a Hash menu for us. A choice of vegetable
chilli with rice and tacos or mild chicken curry with rice and
pappadoms for £6 a head. The chilli was lovely and I think the curry
went down well too.
Because
Richard had gone out of his way for us, everyone returned to the On
Down and virtually everyone ordered food - even if it was only to have
as a takeaway. Richard wasn't at all disappointed that we only had ten
hashers present and he made us very welcome.
In
fact, the low turnout meant that we could all join in a single
conversation without splintering into smaller groups. It was all rather
convivial.
After
devouring the scoff, it was on to the Down-Downs. I hadn't dared be
cheeky enough to ask the pub to sub us the Down-Down drinks so we paid
for four halves of Jail Ale but, to whom should they go?
Beefy
had the only physical award; the Baby Bat Hat award from three weeks
ago. The contenders were Georgy Porgy as Chocco had a poo less than
fifty yards after leaving the car park.
However,
there then ensued a story about a hasher referring to the marks as
having been laid in dust and not flour! Man-Pig then elaborated that
Ernie had been quite right. The price of flour has shot up to a punitive
90p a bag. The Scotsman in Man-Pig took over the driving seat, "I'm
nay paying that!", in a Private Fraser accent. "I know. I can use the
dust in the vase on the mantlepiece. Well, more urn than vase".
And
so it was that poor Rusty's ashes were employed for the good of the
hash. This must mean a note for the dustman but, as we all know,
dustmen are members of the National Union of Refuse Disposal Engineers -
NURDE for short. Hence a note for the Nurde as Urnie sorry, Ernie
took his Down-Down.
Second
up was Shitfaced. He had a story to recount (or should that be
recant?). Anyway, it concerned the sheer gall of a hasher who had the
balls to go into print on Facebook and tell the world that he had been
sucked-off on the hash. Some clarification, please?
Shitfaced
elaborated that the lucky blighter was our very own Man-Pig. "Wot? Me?
I hardly ever use Facebook!". More elaboration. The story actually
originated from a Facebook post by Man-Pig referring to tics that had
attached themselves at last week's Hash. As the old saying goes, "Never
let the truth get in the way of a good story".
Beefy then led the "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy" song for Man-Pig's down-down.
There
were two drinks left. Were there any more stories? There were none so
the final Down-Downs went to the Hare and to Smellie for being the last
back to the pub.
Despite
the numbers, I think everyone enjoyed the trail and the views. The pub
was incredibly welcoming and would be delighted to have us back. We
must think of setting another trail from here in the future. Our thanks
to Richard, the owner/landlord, for making us so welcome.
ADDENDUM
The
Bank Holiday hash was originally Thomas Cooked under the heading: BB's
Birthday Trail, but events conspired against me and I was unable to
discharge my duty. Apparently, whilst reporting my cancellation to the
pack, Man-Pig seemed to have 'volunteered' himself and subsequently
planned an extravaganza like no other.
Beefy
nearly persuaded me to come along - if only to do the walkers' trail -
but I could not risk leaving the house that evening.
You
can only try to imagine my disappointment for the valiant Man-Pig when I
saw how few had turned out. However, when I scanned Beefy's FB images, I
realised what a great trail we had missed out on. And MP is spot on
when he stated that a small turnout can be just as good fun - remember
that post Christmas trail from the Kings Arms?
I
am really pleased that next week's edition is from the Nellie and,
perhaps, all fingers tightly crossed, I can partly repay Man-Pig's
favour.
ON ON, BB
*
The all time 'record' low turnout for a TV hash was also to McWot and
Vera on a Bank Holiday Monday. Only one hasher appeared and McWot and
Vera drove the hasher (the identity unknown) around part of the trail
before adjourning to the pub.
Next week
Lord Nelson, Kingskerswell with Hare, Shitfaced (and friends!).
On-On to next week, MP
