A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

YELLOW HAMMER, SAUSAGES & GREBES. OH MY!

TVH3 The Words for 6th June 2022 - The Horseshoe Centre, Heathfield - Run No. 1920

HARES: Beefy and Pisswell
 
Who wuz there: Beefy, Pisswell, Shitfaced, Soapy, Melonpicker, Man-Pig, Forrest-Stump, Hotlips, Zoot, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Manopause, Wet-Johnny, Able Semen, Slip-on-Me, Coldtits, Piddler, Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Wetfart, Teapot, Bobbiball.
 
The Circle
We circled up in new territory - The Horseshoe Centre, Heathfield. This used to be a tiny village primary school and Forrest was delighted to tell us that he was one of their former alumni.
Shitfaced, having recovered from his excellent method acting of Captain Jack Sparrow, advised that the On-Down was The Star at Liverton. The food was sausage and chips at a heady £6.80 a head.
Man-Pig asked for a volunteer to do the Words. Piddler volunteered Smellie whilst Smellie was still tying up her shoelaces! 
 
Beefy introduced the trail. Marks were always on the right - except where they had been gone over by a lawnmower. Longs were about 5 miles. Longs and Shorts less!
 
The Trail - by S M Ellie
Arriving a bit flustered at the circle somewhere Newton Abbotish (?) I managed to inadvertently volunteer for the words while putting on my shoe. Damn! 
 
Announcements were made. Sorry, little recollection. I do, however, recall there being confusion about what’s medium? A balti and 175ml glass of Sauvignon Blanc. On a similar note, Beefy said there would be yellowhammers on the trail. Oh goody, I thought! 
 
Off we set into beautiful countryside. The FRB’s shot off! Given the current foot rehab status, I soon fell behind. Hey ho! That didn't last long. I was soon joined by Piddler, who was following up my rear [Shirley sic] and it was noted he had stopped moaning for the first time that evening. 
 
The trail was well marked and it was a lovely evening. Nobody to disturb my peace...
 
As the trail progressed, it seemed that the rather lovely Long's were rather short. Clocking only 3 miles, we passed the On Home marker. Damn again! 
 
As my rehab feet were faring ok, I wanted more. 
 
I had a cunning plan! Why not run the walkers trail? Well as it turns out... That was the plan. Anyhow. Funny that! All was well except somehow, we managed to do it backwards? 
 
Arriving in some woods, I heard mention of Yellowhammer. Yay! A Beer Stop! I was rather bemused by being told to listen. ‘It sounds like milk and bread’ Beefy exclaimed enthusiastically. No! Not Beer? It appeared the yellowhammer was of the feathered variety! Damn.
 
As we passed Georgie P, Piltdown. Soapy, Melon Picker, Zoot and Hot Lips and most of the Walking Crew, they all informed us: ‘You’re going the wrong way!’ Oh, the shame! Well, anyone foolish enough to follow me deserves it! 
 
Trekking along a stunning riverbank, I heard a voice from above in the trees. ‘Look Grebes!' How did Coldtitz do that? And what are Grebes? Sounds like an STD?!
 
Further along the river, there was a photo opportunity to be had. Pisswell joined us, making Piddler the thorn between the roses. (You’re welcome!) 
 
We continued backwards on trail to the On Home.

Joining Piltdown and Georgie P In the car, we made bets on the final score. We caught the results. Boris remains in da House. Politics over and time for a beer at the Star.
 
Talk at the table of the hash descending on a beer festival. One for Wet Jonny! Then the expensive sausage debacle. We were instructed to eat up to help out. Money in the pot. Threesome would have a turn! 
 
The Down Downs
Able Seaman awarded the hare the birthday hat for the stunning trail that was enjoyed by all.
Soapy ran out of options after her first choice had already gone home. Finding Beefy taken, she opted for Teapot though I don’t recall his misdemeanour. However, the down down receptacle nearly found an alternative use as a barf bucket. 
 
I am happy to report that Teapot recovered himself well. Piddler was awarded a 500 badge and almost a double down down for being distracted on the trail.

S. M.Ellie was called up to help. (As the Word mistress I can be economical with the truth!) I can also report 'beaten by a woman' was chanted! 
 
The final award, now known as the Checking chicken hat, Wet Fart awarded to Piltdown man for his navigation skills during the perilous journey from Teignmouth. He gallantly delivered Georgie, myself and Choca safely to the hash. 
 
So endeth the account, as much as I can recall. Many thanks to the Hare for a beautiful and memorable trail. A great time was had by all!
 S.M. Ellie
 
The Down-Downs - backup notes by MP
 Forrest-Stump presiding:
 
1st Down-Down: Able Semen gives the first award to Beefy for a lovely trail on virgin ground and with wonderful vistas and wildlife.
 
2nd Down-Down: Wetfart gives the Hashshit shirt to Teapot - can't remember why. Hopefully, Smellie will remember. (Oh no she didn't!)
 
3rd Down-Down: Beefy has the Horned hat to give away. I simply wasn't paying attention. I can't remember who had it. Amnesia has set in....or is it dementia?
 
4th Down-Down: There is a 500-run badge to award. This goes to Piddler. He didn't even want a whole half-pint so he wanted to share it with Smellie; something about Smellie's rear. Anyway, there was a spare beer so they ended up downing a half each.
 
5th Down-Down: Finally there was a half-pint of water. I can't remember who had it or for what. It may have been awarded to Beefy for a bit of a cock-up regarding the food. Apparently Beefy had advised the pub that they might expect to have up to 15 hashers wanting to eat. The pub had interpreted that as a confirmed order for 15 sausage and chips at £6.80/head! 
 
The upshot of all this was that Beefy initially paid for all the sausage and chips as we didn't want to risk alienating the pub and blacklisting TVH3 (this hasn't happened since the episode with Mavis and his exposed undercarriage at the Cleave at Lustleigh). 
 
The sausage and chips were brought out on trays in any event after the Down-Downs. Teapot partially explained what had happened and suggested that we simply put some money in the pot to contribute towards the food - which they did, generously. 
 
The shortfall should be made up from hash funds as it was a genuine misunderstanding. 
 
These things do happen to even the most experienced hashers as both MP and BB know only too well!
I forgot that one of the awards was to Piltdown Man for not reading the traffic report. There was an accident on the Teignmouth/Wear barton road which caused Piltdown, Georgie and Smellie almost to miss the Circle. I think Beefy made this award and it made to a chorus of, "Here's to the misguided one etc....."
 
Next week
The Ness car park, Shaldon with the On-Down at the Ferry Boat Inn. Hares are Well Hopped and Swinger.
 
It's time to say goodbye from SM Ellie and goodbye from MP.
 
ON ON to next week!

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Trail Raiser Rambo
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec Wet Johnny
Web /Web Master Bluebird

HASH SUBS 2022

This years membership, which is due now is £25 Alternatively you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

SC