TVH3 The Words for 13th March 2023

The Park Inn, Kingskerswell

 

Run No. 1960

 

HARES: Cheerio Beerio & Shitfaced

 

Who wuz there: Cheerio Beerio, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Bluebird, Arkangel, Threesum, Martin (pub only), Soapy, Melonpicker, Beeflicker, Slip-on-Me, Satnav, Ablesemen, Beefy, Pisswell, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Piddler, Coldtits, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Roger the Dodger, Triple Jump, Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Piddler, U-Bend, Only Here for the Beer (pub only) and visitors Dan (from Newcastle) and Reyna (from London) and finally, very late in the day, Floss (pub only).

 

Circle

An important announcement by Satnav. Teapot won't be running for a while as he's had a pacemaker fitted! We all wish Teapot every success with the operation and look forward to seeing him soon. Smellie is up to date with the Hare-raising and no-one wants to compete for next year's Scribe of the Year shirt so it was over to the Hares.

 

Shitfaced first announced scoff: sausage, beans and chips at circa £3.50 "hands up". The trail was going to be 6 for the Long (highly suspect), 3.5 for the Short and 2.5 for the Walkers' potter. Shitfaced mentioned that he was following Cheerio's instructions for the trail and Cheerio said that she wouldn't be sweeping.

 

Trail

The day's strong winds had receded and it was still quite warm; just a hint of drizzle in the air. The trail proved to be somewhat of an enigma. The Shorts appeared to be on the Longs. the Longs were off trail and everyone ended up coming together about three times - irrespective of what trail they were on.

 

The trail took us all through the ginnel opposite the pub and onto Park Road. Virtually all the pack took a right at at the first check only to be called back by Cheerio. The trail actually went left and onto Woodland Avenue before bearing right onto Coles lane and left down the Newton Road towards Aller quarry.

 

At the garage that sells camper vans, we came to the first split. The Walkers' trail stayed on road up to Coffinswell whilst the Longs and the Shorts took the track behind Romany Jones and ascended Yew Tree climb (well, that's what it's called on Strava) up to Milber Lane and a Long/Short split.

 

The Longs committed themselves to going towards Milber. A long way towards Milber with no sign of any marks. The Pig took the path up to the iron age fort and was convinced he'd spotted a single mark. It must have been bird poo but by this time we were at the edge of St Marychurch Road near the reservoirs. Additionally, all of the other Longs had caught up. This comprised the usual suspects of Beeflicker, Pisswell, Big End and well Hopped. Visitor Dan was also establishing himself as a FRB on his first ever hash. Strap-On and Smellie had also caught up despite believing they were on the Short trail.

 

There was nothing else for it. The best bet was to run up St Marychurch Road and take the first right down Blackenway Lane. This would join up with the Shorts at Milder lane which it did. Amazingly, we saw marks for the first time in over a mile!

 

We were now in Coffinswell, and it wasn't long before we came to another Long/Short split. The Longs took a narrow wooded track that opens onto open pasture in front of two newish post houses and then the footpath that takes you onto Connybeare Lane and back into Coffinswell. The Shorts beared right opposite the Linney and to the Walkers/Shorts split that would take the Walkers back into Kingskerswell by the primary school. A few yards further on and we encountered another Long/Short split. 

 

This short loop should have had the Longs coming back onto Willowpark Lane at its junction with Daccombe Mill Lane via the footpath that follows Aller Brook at The Bothy. However, what was coming marching towards me along the footpath? The Shorts! Despite being on the Longs, the Shorts enjoyed this part of the trail because they encountered a large number of toads!

 

The trail then climbed Daccombe Mill Lane and back into Kingskerswell just above the Lord Nelson pub. An arrow had all running down Southey Lane before returning to the pub via the main road into Torquay.

 

Down-Downs

Talk in the pub centred around the weekend's rugby (for those of who have an interest in the odd shaped ball). In particular, England's complete demolition by a hugely in form France.

Man-Pig took on MC duties for the evening and welcomed visitors Dan and Reyna. Additionally, we thanked the pub for the beer and the scoff.

 

"What did we think of the trail?" Moans and groans all round - par for the course.

Hashshit Shirt: After being plagued throughout the run by the Bird - even though he was always on the short trail and Soapy on the long, Soapy gave the shirt to the birdbrained one who delighted in exposing himself. The Harriets were not impressed. Despite his age, he is quite well-preserved. Accordingly, a note for the formaldehyde one.

 

Horned Hat: The best laid plans don't always go to plan. The Bird had espied his missing Viking horned hat on Triple Jump and had decided he wanted it back for a week or two.

He courted Triple Jump with a pre-trail tango and then bought her a lemon and lime fizzy water with a requested slice of lemon. He certainly knows how to give a lady a fine time! 

 

Triple Jump was won over but an almighty spanner was thrown in the works when Soapy - oblivious to the devious plan - awarded the Idiot with the hashit shirt! RA Man-Pig, unaware of the subterfuge, was baffled. However, the Bird wasn't going to get a second beer so it was a water for him, much to his chagrin.

 

Turkish wedding hat: Shitfaced gave this to U-Bend for getting quite excited about Bluebird's exposure. What did he do wrong? He kept both hands firmly in his pockets whilst smiling at the near naked bird. A note for the nut tickler, if you please.

 

The pub had been very generous with the Down-Downs, so there were plenty of drinks left for the Hares which included a Smirnoff Ice for Cheerio-Beerio.

 

One half pint left to award. There were no stories but someone has a birthday very close to Paddy's Day. All the right notes, not necessarily in the right order, for Arkangel whose birthday fell on Wednesday.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is at The Ferry Boat inn, Shaldon, for, weather permitting, Bluebird and Man-Pig's "Fire Hash" or a derivation thereof. Circle up in the Ness car park.

 

On-On to next week.