The Corner Flag, Devon FA, Newton Abbot
Run. No. 1969
HARE: Wet Johnny
Who
wuz there: Wet-Johnny, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Archangel, Beefy, Piltdown
Man, Georgie Porgy, Smellie, U-Bend, Beeflicker, Slip-on-Me, Coldtits,
Big End, Ned, Well Hopped, Wet Johnny's son - Gianluca, Erection, Small
Erection - Harry, or was it Mason? Ablesemen, Satnav, Triple Jump,
Ernie, Fukarewe, Screwed & Bella (welcome back) and, finally, AH3
visitor Total Recoil.
Circle
What
a beautiful evening following a glorious weekend, although a tad
windy. Those that did turn out all had smiles on their faces in
recognition that spring had arrived at last. This was a new venue for
us. Most of us had no idea that the Devon FA's bar, The Corner Flag, is
not a members only bar. It is, effectively, a public house, but,
obviously, with a focus on soccer.
Being
a new venue, parking perplexed some easily perplexed hashers. Ernie
thought that the car parking spaces were too small so parked his new
Audi (selected by Mrs Ernie) so as to take up two spaces. U-Bend's van
was too high to park in the main car park, so he initially parked it in
the overflow car park. However, this had a pair of green iron gates at
its entrance. "I wonder if they lock them at night?" contemplated our
running plumber. "B******s. I'll move it somewhere else", which he
promptly did. Cold Tits didn't make it to the car park, preferring to
park at the top by the Clubhouse and Archangel didn't park anywhere as
he was late.
So,
what had the Hare to offer in addition to the new venue? A Walkers',
Shorts' and Longs' trail, the latter being approximately 5 or 6 miles.
The Trail
The
first part of the trail was in town with the first Long/Short split at
the entrance to the Devon FA. Longs to the right and the Walkers and
Shorts to the left.
The
Shorts and Walkers went left along Coach Road and then right and up
Penshurst Road before crossing College Road and climbing the steps on
the footpath that climbs up to join South Road. The Longs took the long
way round to the same spot. The Longs then went right down Coach Road,
and then looped up and left heading west along College Road to join
with the Walkers and the Shorts for the footpath from College Road to
South Road.
Unsurprisingly,
Beeflicker was miles ahead but so were the youngsters - Small erection
and Wet Johnny's son, Gianluca. Next in line on the Longs were Man-Pig
and the visiting Total Recoil paying us a visit from Ashburton Hash.
Total Recoil has been injured since August but he wasn't showing any
signs of it.
On
the footpath, we caught up with Coldtits, Smellie, Screwed and Bella.
At South Road, an arrow had us going right and then left up another
footpath. This is at the highest point in Newton Abbot and boundaries
the edge of the site of the former Wolborough Hill school - now a posh
housing estate with lovely views. Total Recoil informed me that his dad
used to attend Wolborough Hill school and I used to play rugby against
them when I was at Buckfast Abbey school - but I digress.
This
footpath leads onto Courtenay Road that encircles the northern half of
Wolborough Hill. An arrow took us straight across Courtenay Road and a
little way down Powderham Road before leading us onto the footpath
below Highwood Grange. This footpath arcs around to Wolborough Church.
In
the distance, we caught a glimpse of a Small Erection and
Gianluca.....a long way ahead. At Wolborough Church, an early sweetie
stop. This was so as to make sure that, this week, the Walkers didn't
miss out on the sweeties. Very thoughtful W-J.
Refeshed,
it was carry on west along Coach Road for a short while before
dropping down Old Coach Road and crossing the A381 and the footpath
that drops onto Bunting Close. At this point, we managed to overtake
Gianluca and Small Erection. But this was only because they'd stopped
due to Small Erection having a stitch.
The
trail rejoined Totnes Road (A381) just before Ogwell Road. An arrow
had us cross Totnes Road at the cemetery and head up Old Totnes Road
towards Abbotskerswell. Total Recoil commented on how good the marks
were. I agreed.
Near
the top of Old Totnes Road, there was a Long/Short split. The Shorts
were going off road and left across two fields that would bring them
out at the sweetie stop once more. The Longs' trail was market right
and, initially up and then down Firestone Lane. This took us into
Abbotskerswell. At the junction with Manor Road, there was a kicked-out
check. Excellent. Beeflicker was doing his job.
Pacewise,
Total Recoil and I were well matched. I was a little surprised that
Well Hopped and Big End weren't with us. It later transpired that
they'd elected to go Short. A combination of a tiring weekend for Well
Hopped in Wales and a tiring weekend at the bar for Big
End........well, what are weekends for? I think about ten Hashers
eventually made it to some elements of Saturday's Newton Abbot pub crawl
and curry. This was hastily organised courtesy of Hotlips as a
substitute for the Ale Rail outing as a result of the rail strike.
The
Longs trail continued along Manor Road until its junction with Priory
Road. This was the only point at which we spied Beeflicker doing a bit
of checking out. The trail bore left and up Priory Road before an arrow
had us crossing the most deeply ploughed field that I have ever come
across. Thankfully, it was dry but, from the tyre marks, you could tell
that this has been ploughed by a Ford Country or some such tractor
sporting four enormous tyres.
Once
out of the ankle breaker, it was past the solitary, and inaccessible,
barn (reminds me a bit of Father Ted's abode on Craggy island).
The
trail followed the footpath into the south east corner of Decoy Copse
where there should have been a check - but there was none. A fool's
errand down the track towards Keyberry had us encounter two dots and a
cross. Our only bit of off trail in the evening.
Backtracking,
we got back on trail and looped around towards Decoy Lake and another
Long/Short split. Once again we passed Smellie, Screwed and Bella.
Again
we headed towards the lake but we were also heading towards the sound
of shouting, "What the f**k?" from the bushes. Had we disturbed an
amorous encounter? Were youngsters comparing tattoos? We didn't stop to
find out. It wasn't long before we were swinging left and then right
onto a narrow footpath that exits onto the edge of the Devon FA playing
fields and the "On-Home" sign. For the third time, we had caught up
with Smellie just as we entered the car park.
A fast little run out. 5.51 miles on the Long. Now for a beer.
Down-Downs
The
Corner Flag had a surprisingly good selection of beers and ciders -
both bottled and draught. I elected to go for the Shipyard ale which is
an American IPA; just the job. Once everyone had arrived back and had
eaten, it was over to the RA for the Down-Downs. Man-Pig thanked the
pub for the beer and the venue and additionally thanked Martin for
cooking the scoff.
Again,
in the absence of Bluebird, only one tangible award was available
again this week. Once again, the Bacardi Hat was on the look out for a
deserving (or even undeserving) miscreant.
Ablesemen
had a story about the Hare recruiting a cow onto the Hash and then
ushering it into someone's front garden to chew on the chrysanthemums.
Wet-Johnny was called out for being both Hare and for recruiting cows. A
note for the bovine lover.
Next
was the issue of lost property. An item had been found in the car
park. Had anyone lost anything? The RA then pulled a £20 note from his
pocket. "No not this. That's mine". Another rummage in the same pocket
produced a bar coded ID tag.....with a name on it, "Peter Exon". Would
U-Bend please come forward and reclaim his lost property?
Now,
I wasn't wearing my glasses but I am sure that this tag was a Medical
Alert tag to warn third parties of U-Bend's herpes. U-Bend maintained
that it wasn't. It was, in fact, a Park Run ID. A note for "The Lost
One".
Who
was going to have the penultimate half? Ernie had a story from about 3
years ago. Yes, really. This concerned Newton Abbot's female night
workers. Apparently, Ernie and Fukarewe were off trail and running
around the back of Newton Abbot racecourse. In the course of their
wanderings, they came across two well endowed young ladies of the
night.
"Do
you come here often?" asked one. Ernie was stupefied to recognise the
temptress as none other than our very own Ablesemen! A second job
perchance? Crikey, the cost of living crisis hadn't even started then!
"Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy" seemed rather appropriate.
Now,
Well Hopped and Big End are both young and fit so it came as a
surprise that they hadn't been seen on the Long. This was because
neither had been on the Long. Were they injured? No. Just tired. Well
Hopped had just spent a long weekend with a friend in Wales and she was
tired. Had Big End been in Wales too? No. So what's his excuse? Some
paltry excuse about too much cider at Sandford cricket club. A note for
"The Lazy One".
Next week
Next week's Hash is at Holne village hall with Hare Pisswell. Bring coins, NOT £20 notes, for your beer and scoff.
On-On to next week, MP.
