Run #1976 Monday 3rd July
from the Rugglestone Inn
Hare: Pisswell assisted by Beefy
Who
wuz there: U Bend, Wet Johnny, Gianluca, BroadS, Scott, Pork Torpedo,
Hornie, Pisswell, Beefy, Ernie, Fukarwi, BeeFlicker, Fallen Woman,
Wetfart, Able, Archangel, Big End, Well Hopped, ThreeSum, SatNav, Zoot,
Hotlips, Teapot, Forrest, Slip on Me, Cheerio Beerio, BB, Soapy,
Melonpicker and possibly an unknown Lunatic attendee.
Preamble
Amble
was the word as mine silver chariot climbed towards the moor from
Goodmans Cross. Amble became shambles as around a corner a column of
crawling chariots appeared. At the head of affairs, the culprit and
cause was a tractor pulling a loaded trailer of hay bales.
For
the next threequarters of a mile, we proceeded at a snail's pace, and
anxiously did I look at my chronograph. In my wing mirror, a blue van
appeared - Pork Torpedo and Hornie but they had timed it rather better
and were delayed for only about half a mile.
At
Cold East Cross, the abomination mercifully turned off but the Bird
predictably became disorientated and slewed across the junction letting
the Torpedo bus through. Blast it, Blaster!
Wandering sheep slowed us a tad on the approach to Widecombe but we made it bang on time for the circle. Olé, Ollie!
Circle
With
a Polish expeditionary force comprising Man-Pig, Bobby Woll, Piltdown,
Georgy and Smellie, numbers were expected to be on the low side.
However, thirty intrepid hashers assembled for Pisswell's Tour de
Moor.
Preparing
my old tech of an ancient 2006 Xacti minicam, I missed the circle
spiel but believe U Bend was pressed into service with the GM and
Piltdown missing.
Pisswell
then outlined the plan of action: 2.2 miles for the walkers, about 4
miles for the shorts and 'possibly' a long of 5.5 miles - all distances
to be taken on board with caution - and with the knowledge that a mile
on the moor was Shirley going to be more arduous than its flat tarmac
equivalent.
Go with whatever deity you trust, and the hash caravan moved towards the exit of the car park.
Over to Pisswell for her 'Widecombe Fools on the hill'
The Fool on the Hill
Song by The Beatles Lyrics Day after day
I recced this hill
The girl with the welly boots is keeping quiet until The circle.
Who wants to wear them?
They can see that she's not a fool
And she risk assessed the danger
But the fools on the hill sees their friends going down
As we cross Venton mire, see them sink in the ground!
Up the Rugg rock, just past the Inn
We wade through the virgin bog and follow where she has been
They squelch up to Bovey rock and, the split takes the longs to Pil tor
If lost you had took no notice
But the fools on Top Tor see the shorts running down
And the walkers as well, as they short cut around.
Instrumental
And everyone goes to Bonehill, whilst they all chose what they must do
They’re on, up the track to Chinkwell
But the fools on Honeybags, see the rest going down
As they reach the ha ha, see the trail turning ‘round
More instrumental
And all over Bell to Bone hill, they know they’re the same old fools
More virgin ground is seen there
And Higher Northway farm hosts the hash through their ground
See the pond and the bridge, to the pub we are bound.
Instrudrivingyoumental
Yes, the fools on the hill,
See the sun going down
As they go to the Rugg
And join in the down downs
Instruhashersdrivingyoumental
Yes, no fools lost on the hill
Missing pints going down
As the fools from the hash
Win awards that abound.
Pisswell
added: The bracken bashing was worth it and the Rugglestone and owners
of Higher Northway and Northway have to be thanked for their virgin
territory.
It
went much better than I expected and combined as a lunatic hash! Loved
the little welly boot and was great to speak to the people in Poland
who all sent tbeir love mid hash!
Hope you enjoyed it? Pisswell x
The Tour de Moor by the Bird on the hill
After
a hundred yards, I knew it wasn't going to happen. The legs felt like
lead and breathing was difficult. Wet Johnny and Gianluca were right
behind and chatting away. If I knew then what I knew an hour later, I
might have adjourned to the bar.
But what the heck, it was an adventure and quitting was not an option.
The
silly sod HA HA at the start, cruelly directed with arrows, gave the
shorts and walkers a nice little start but they created a log-jam in the
lower boondocks as the longs sought a way through. I simply could not
go with Big End and Well Hopped, and if anything, started to feel
worse.
The
steep hill out of Widecombe loomed large in the crosswires with the
trail running parallel. I had seen this game many times before and much
preferred the tarmac ascent.
After
briefly linking up with Big End and Well Hopped, I decided to keep to
the road to keep an eye on proceedings as there was no way Pedro that I
could do the long trail.
Below
me, I espied the shorts and walkers, led by U Bend crossing the B3387 -
Shirley a good indicator that the longs would have to cross as well
later on.
Tacking
across (SCB), I made contact with the longs headed by BeeFlicker along
with Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Fukarwi and Ernie. Not far off were
Broads, Scott and Beefy.
A camping gent emerged from his tent to have a chat as BeeFlicker took a photo from on top of a tor.
Back down to the main road we journeyed where Pisswell was waiting, and I asked for the exit strategy.
At
Bonehill Rocks, we caught sight of the shorts about to disappear into
the bracken and Pisswell called out to them: 'Do you want to do the
rest of the short?'
There
was quite a pause until U Bend replied: 'No.' I knew how he felt, it
was a beaut of an evening, the scenery was heaven-like but we had
nearly been out for an hour and the bar beckoned Bertie.
Down to the farm and passing Hornie and SatNav having a natter, and then Able and Slip on Me with Fallen Woman up ahead.
I
needed the chequered flag quite badly now - that little old pensioner
plucked from a park bench was looking like Superman and Able had to
slow up a little for me to keep up.
Ah, the main road and the cut across the field to the Rugglestone. Nearly five miles covered but boy, that Legend tasted good.
Some
time later, the longs dribbled back. Remarkably, BeeFlicker not only
completed the 6.6 moor miles but had run up to Widecombe as well,
covering double figures in the process. Good job he's an ultra runner.
The
longs did well on what would be about a ninety minuter. I wasn't
surprised with Big End and Well Hopped but Fukarwi, Ernie, Broads and
Scott had a really good workout.
Downdowns
Covered by video, all nine minutes.
Birdlogue
Looking
back on the evening, I am glad I made the effort to get out. It was
unfortunate that I was unable to do the long but I had a great time
nevertheless.
Finally,
an apology to Wetfart (non Facebook subscriber). In the car park, he
asked if I had forgotten to put the road closure on the website. Guilty.
I had meant to do it but if you don't do it immediately, it'll be
forgotten. Sorry Wetfart.
Next week
Confirming that it will be Fukarwi's hash from his local, the Monks Retreat at Broadhempston. Details to follow.
ON ON to next week!
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