A VERITABLE TOUR DE MOOR

Run #1976 Monday 3rd July 

 

from the Rugglestone Inn

 

Hare: Pisswell assisted by Beefy

 

 

 

Who wuz there: U Bend, Wet Johnny, Gianluca, BroadS, Scott, Pork Torpedo, Hornie, Pisswell, Beefy, Ernie, Fukarwi, BeeFlicker, Fallen Woman, Wetfart, Able, Archangel, Big End, Well Hopped, ThreeSum, SatNav, Zoot, Hotlips, Teapot, Forrest, Slip on Me, Cheerio Beerio, BB, Soapy, Melonpicker and possibly an unknown Lunatic attendee.

 

Preamble

Amble was the word as mine silver chariot climbed towards the moor from Goodmans Cross. Amble became shambles as around a corner a column of crawling chariots appeared. At the head of affairs, the culprit and cause was a tractor pulling a loaded trailer of hay bales.

 

For the next threequarters of a mile, we proceeded at a snail's pace, and anxiously did I look at my chronograph. In my wing mirror, a blue van appeared - Pork Torpedo and Hornie but they had timed it rather better and were delayed for only about half a mile. 

 

At Cold East Cross, the abomination mercifully turned off but the Bird predictably became disorientated and slewed across the junction letting the Torpedo bus through. Blast it, Blaster!

Wandering sheep slowed us a tad on the approach to Widecombe but we made it bang on time for the circle. Olé, Ollie!

 

Circle

With a Polish expeditionary force comprising Man-Pig, Bobby Woll, Piltdown, Georgy and Smellie, numbers were expected to be on the low side. However, thirty intrepid hashers assembled for Pisswell's Tour de Moor.

 

Preparing my old tech of an ancient 2006 Xacti minicam, I missed the circle spiel but believe U Bend was pressed into service with the GM and Piltdown missing. 

 

Pisswell then outlined the plan of action: 2.2 miles for the walkers, about 4 miles for the shorts and 'possibly' a long of 5.5 miles - all distances to be taken on board with caution - and with the knowledge that a mile on the moor was Shirley going to be more arduous than its flat tarmac equivalent.

Go with whatever deity you trust, and the hash caravan moved towards the exit of the car park.

Over to Pisswell for her 'Widecombe Fools on the hill'

 

The Fool on the Hill

Song by The Beatles Lyrics Day after day

https://youtu.be/6Hlw_9ldThs

I recced this hill

The girl with the welly boots is keeping quiet until The circle.

Who wants to wear them?

They can see that she's not a fool

And she risk assessed the danger

But the fools on the hill sees their friends going down

As we cross Venton mire, see them sink in the ground!

Up the Rugg rock, just past the Inn

We wade through the virgin bog and follow where she has been

They squelch up to Bovey rock and, the split takes the longs to Pil tor

If lost you had took no notice

But the fools on Top Tor see the shorts running down

And the walkers as well, as they short cut around.

Instrumental

And everyone goes to Bonehill, whilst they all chose what they must do

They’re on, up the track to Chinkwell

But the fools on Honeybags, see the rest going down

As they reach the ha ha, see the trail turning ‘round

More instrumental

And all over Bell to Bone hill, they know they’re the same old fools

More virgin ground is seen there

And Higher Northway farm hosts the hash through their ground

See the pond and the bridge, to the pub we are bound.

Instrudrivingyoumental

Yes, the fools on the hill,

See the sun going down

As they go to the Rugg

And join in the down downs

Instruhashersdrivingyoumental

Yes, no fools lost on the hill

Missing pints going down

As the fools from the hash

Win awards that abound.

 

Pisswell added: The bracken bashing was worth it and the Rugglestone and owners of Higher Northway and Northway have to be thanked for their virgin territory.

 

It went much better than I expected and combined as a lunatic hash! Loved the little welly boot and was great to speak to the people in Poland who all sent tbeir love mid hash! 

 

Hope you enjoyed it? Pisswell x

 

The Tour de Moor by the Bird on the hill

 

After a hundred yards, I knew it wasn't going to happen. The legs felt like lead and breathing was difficult. Wet Johnny and Gianluca were right behind and chatting away. If I knew then what I knew an hour later, I might have adjourned to the bar. 

 

But what the heck, it was an adventure and quitting was not an option.

 

The silly sod HA HA at the start, cruelly directed with arrows, gave the shorts and walkers a nice little start but they created a log-jam in the lower boondocks as the longs sought a way through. I simply could not go with Big End and Well Hopped, and if anything, started to feel worse.

 

The steep hill out of Widecombe loomed large in the crosswires with the trail running parallel. I had seen this game many times before and much preferred the tarmac ascent.

 

After briefly linking up with Big End and Well Hopped, I decided to keep to the road to keep an eye on proceedings as there was no way Pedro that I could do the long trail.

 

Below me, I espied the shorts and walkers, led by U Bend crossing the B3387 - Shirley a good indicator that the longs would have to cross as well later on.

 

Tacking across (SCB), I made contact with the longs headed by BeeFlicker along with Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Fukarwi and Ernie. Not far off were Broads, Scott and Beefy.

 

A camping gent emerged from his tent to have a chat as BeeFlicker took a photo from on top of a tor.

Back down to the main road we journeyed where Pisswell was waiting, and I asked for the exit strategy.

At Bonehill Rocks, we caught sight of the shorts about to disappear into the bracken and Pisswell called out to them: 'Do you want to do the rest of the short?' 

 

There was quite a pause until U Bend replied: 'No.' I knew how he felt, it was a beaut of an evening, the scenery was heaven-like but we had nearly been out for an hour and the bar beckoned Bertie.

 

Down to the farm and passing Hornie and SatNav having a natter, and then Able and Slip on Me with Fallen Woman up ahead.

 

I needed the chequered flag quite badly now - that little old pensioner plucked from a park bench was looking like Superman and Able had to slow up a little for me to keep up.

 

Ah, the main road and the cut across the field to the Rugglestone. Nearly five miles covered but boy, that Legend tasted good.

 

Some time later, the longs dribbled back. Remarkably, BeeFlicker not only completed the 6.6 moor miles but had run up to Widecombe as well, covering double figures in the process. Good job he's an ultra runner.

 

The longs did well on what would be about a ninety minuter. I wasn't surprised with Big End and Well Hopped but Fukarwi, Ernie, Broads and Scott had a really good workout.

 

Downdowns

Covered by video, all nine minutes.

 

Birdlogue

Looking back on the evening, I am glad I made the effort to get out. It was unfortunate that I was unable to do the long but I had a great time nevertheless.

 

Finally, an apology to Wetfart (non Facebook subscriber). In the car park, he asked if I had forgotten to put the road closure on the website. Guilty. I had meant to do it but if you don't do it immediately, it'll be forgotten. Sorry Wetfart.

 

Next week

Confirming that it will be Fukarwi's hash from his local, the Monks Retreat at Broadhempston. Details to follow.

 

ON ON to next week!