Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.


Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Saturday 25 November 2023

Given the runaround - Take 2


TVH3 The Words for 20th November 2023  
Court Farm, Abbotskerswell  
Run No. 1996

HARES: Sugar Puff, Cameltoe & the Silver Sweeper

Who wuz there: Sugar Puff, Cameltoe, the Silver Sweeper, 
Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Hotlips, Zoot, Beefy, Pisswell, Piltdown 
Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Big End, 
Well Hopped, Ned, Soapy, Melonpicker, Wet Johnny, 
Manopause, Fukarewe, Ernie, Psycho, Warm Front, 
Coldtits, Wetfart, Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Piddler, 
Goingdown (both Circle only), Threesum & non running 
returnee Deep Semen (the latter two pub only).


As good as their word, returnees, Sugar Puff and Cameltoe
had laid the trail as promised a fortnight earlier. Not only 
that, they had brought along a newbie to undertake the 
role of Sweeper. Now, my sincere apologies, I never got 
to ask you your name. I am guessing that Sugar Puff and 
Cameltoe made you come? But at least we now know what 
happened to Smellie's reflective jacket.

Shitfaced had no announcements. Smellie requires Hares 
for next year. Hotlips reminded us of this coming Saturday's 
pub crawl by train via Newton Abbot and Exmouth. I also 
spoke to Wetfart regarding Teapot. Not a lot of information 
but at least there are signs of movement which must be a 
step in the right direction.

Then over to our Hares who had been press-ganged by 
Smellie at the King William IV a fortnight ago. Sugar Puff 
advised that the trail had originally been laid the previous 
day. Overnight rain had dictated a partial relay on the day. 
There was one Long/Short split. The first part of the trail had 
marks on the right, thereafter they would be on the left (some 
Hashers clearly weren't listening at this point as we shall 
see later). The Longs would be about 5 miles and the Shorts 


If Archangel's trail gave us the runaround last week, this week 
the buzzword was ROUND.

The pack turned left out of the pub car park and down Wilton 
Way. At Wilton Way's junction with Slade Lane, the Shorts 
went left whilst the Longs went right. 
It wasn't long before the Longs came to a check outside the
long-time-closed Butcher's Arms.
From here the trail went up a track and looped ROUND 
and back on itself to create the additional mile for the Longs'. 
Where the return trail rejoined the outward trail, there was a 
huge arrow marking the outward trail. Most of the Longs
recognised the arrow and knew that they had done a loop. 
Not so Ernie and Psycho. They both saw the arrow and 
were about to re-do the Longs' loop again. If it hadn't have
been for Fukarewe and Warmfront, the pair of them would 
have been going ROUND & ROUND for ever and a day.

The Longs were now on a mission to catch up with the Shorts 
as, from now on, it would be a common trail. At the bottom of 
Priory Road we came to the OH sign and an arrow directing 
us up Priory Road. At least we knew we'd be coming back this 
way at some stage. Beeflicker was FRB. At the first junction 
up Priory Road, there was a check. Beeflicker checked straight 
ahead and continued up Priory Road. Wet Johnny went left 
along Manor Road and Beefy checked up Stoneman's Hill. 
The latter two came back empty handed. Eventually, a call from 
Beeflicker and the Longs pursued the calls of "On-On" from atop 
Priory Road.

Just before the priory the road levels off and there is a public 
footpath to the left. Sure enough, another large arrow had us 
embark along this footpath. The start of the footpath is at the 
brow of a hill and, as we looked down across two fields, we 
could see several torches ahead of us. This would be the Shorts.
The footpath skirts the left hand edge of the first field before a 
gap in the hedge and a tiny bridge took us into the next field just 
next to an abandoned barn. This field had been planted with 
maize and was jolly slippery underfoot. Despite the slip-sliding 
through the mud, I am not aware that we had any fallers this week.

Soon the bulk of the Longs caught up with the Shorts. However, 
we missed a small gap in the hedge that would have taken us 
into the third and last field before entering Decoy Country Park.
We climbed up an unfamiliar path through the maize. We knew 
that Beeflicker, Beefy and Wet Johnny were ahead of us and 
we heard Beefy calling "On-On" to our right. We were off trail, 
but not by much. We backtracked and soon found ourselves 
back on trail.

At the point at which we entered Decoy Park, we expected to
see a check. No check but Big End did spy a single dot of flour 
to our left. Big End, Well Hopped and Man-Pig headed north 
west but no marks. Nevertheless, we were convinced that we'd 
be turning left at the top of Decoy Brake and embarking up the
steep footpath that eventually meets up with Stoneman's Hill - 
wrong'ish. Where we expected to turn left a large arrow had us
 turn right. This would take us down to Decoy Lake....a loop 
 ROUND the lake perhaps?

We followed the track where the arrow had pointed us and 
eventually arrived at a 5 bar gate and a mark. But what sort of 
a mark? Whilst we pondered the curious mark, Warmfront caught 
up with us. We concluded that it was a cross and turned right 
and towards the lake. Coming towards us were torches. 
It was Wet Johnny, Beeflicker and Manopause.

"Are you on trail?" we enquired.

"Yes. We've just been ROUND the lake".

Hmmmm. They had gone ROUND clockwise and we were 
going ROUND anticlockwise. In fairness, we had been 
following marks on our right when we should have been 
following marks that lay to our left. Big End, Well Hopped 
and myself decided to carry on ROUND the lake 
anticlockwise. We knew that the trail wasn't back the way 
we'd just come.....or was it? Warmfront, meanwhile, wasn't
 content with just going ROUND the lake anticlockwise, 
she then went ROUND clockwise as well.

We continued ROUND the lake anticlockwise spotting the 
occasional mark to our right. Looking across the lake we 
could see plenty of torches....lost Hashers. Inevitably, we 
met up with the rest of the pack again. Now it had swollen 
to include Ernie, Fukarewe, Smellie and Soapy. 
We searched high and low for marks that would get us away 
from the aquatic merrygoROUND. Nothing. The only marks 
were the ones that we'd followed down to the lake. 
We backtracked and encountered the shimmering ghostly 
figure of the Silver Sweeper. We were back at the perplexing 
check. Was it a cross? Was it an arrow? Neither, it was a 

The Silver Sweeper directed us through the kissing gate and 
said, "Turn left at the end".

We followed his instructions and in short order we had emerged 
from the woodland of the Blackball Plantation. We turned left 
and along the edge of a field for a couple of hundred yards 
before arriving at a wide track. This looked familiar. We turned
 left and headed for the bottom of the steep footpath at the edge 
of Decoy Brake. This would take us up to near the crest of 
Stoneman's Hill. Despite the absence of marks, we knew the way 
home now and embarked on the final push to the summit Chris 
Bonnington style. Then a shout of "On-On" from up ahead. 
Was this Well Hopped, Sherpa Tensing or Big End? I arrived at 
"the mark" and took a closer look. It was very white but had 
straight edges. Not really like a blob of flour. I bent down 
to check that it was, indeed, flour. No. It was a white stone!

It made no difference. We were three quarters of the way 
up the first field. Looking behind us a long string of torches 
were following like lost sheep. Then another call of "On-On". 
Really? But this time there was no doubt; a large arrow in 
flour just the other side of the last stile. We were all back 
on trail, amazingly.

The final leg had us turn left down Stoneman's Hill and then
 right along the enclosed public footpath that took us back 
into Abbotskerswell at Ford Road. Unbeknown to us, we 
had presumed too much. We were off trail and we had 
missed the sweetie stop. 
But we weren't going to be late for a beer. We crossed 
Manor Road and took a left along Slade Lane and the OH.

What great trail and, just like last week, made all the more 
enjoyable by the absence of marks. Thankyou, Hares and 


Once everyone had finished their scoff and, for the first 
time ever, the sweetie stop in the pub, it was time for the 
Down Downs.

The first half of ale had to go to the Hare for giving us 
the runaround.

"Which one of you devised the countercyclical route 
ROUND and ROUND Decoy lake?" A finger was pointed 
and up came the male Hare. Now, was this Sugar Puff 
or Cameltoe? After a thorough investigation, the RA 
concluded that this was unlikely to be Cameltoe. 
A note for "giving us the run-around".

"Who has an award from last week?". Beeflicker steps 
up with the Jester's Hat. This he immediately gives to 
Psycho. Something about a tampon issue in the car 
park. Oh Lordy. I think this is a first. This is 
an unprecedented fourth award in as many weeks*. 
Worse. Psycho tries to convince everyone gathered 
that it is only her third.....liar! 
A note for "the serial sinner".

Unsurprisingly, it is now Pysycho's turn to offload some 
of her accumulated awards. The Checking Chicken 
Hat goes to Soapy. 
Soapy had thought that she'd caught up with a Hasher. 
In fact it was a senior gentlemen who was out walking his 
dog. A note for "the Dogger"; the dogger elects to go for 
the glass of water.

Psycho's turn again as she has two awards looking for 
a new temporary home ( I don't know why she is even 
bothering to award them as most of the awards seem 
to have taken up permanent residence at chez Psycho). 
Nevertheless, the saga of Hotlips' Reynard's disease 
is still a hot, or should that be cold, topic. Hence Psyco 
gives the Horned Hat to Hotlips. A note for 
"the white helmet".

There is one half pint of ale and one award left. It is the 
Baby Bat Hat from last week. This was awarded to 
Woodlend but entrusted to Man-Pig for safekeeping. 
Man-Pig's story comprised tales of mistaken identity 
and lying. The first involves those on the Longs who, 
upon seeing a large arrow, decided to go ROUND 
again. Candidates were Ernie and Psyco. At least 
Ernie admitted to his mistake. Whereas Psycho denied 
being off trail at any point......doubtful. The other 
candidate was whoever called "On-On" due 
to a white stone being spotted. In the absence of Sherpa 
Tensing this had to be Well Hopped or Big End. 
The blushes said it all. 
A vote was called for. Liar No. 1 - Pscho - some cheers. 
Liar No. 2 - 
Well hopped - huge crescendo. Baby Bat Hat to Well 
Hopped and a note for "the petrified one".

Next week

Next week's Hash is at the Manor Inn, Galmpton, with 
Hare U-Bend.

On-On to next week.

No comments:

Post a Comment


It would be appreciated if those hashers that pay £1 a week when they attend rather than the £30 a year subscription could bring their one pound to the circle and pay Pisswell before the run. It is not much fun for her to chase hashers in the pub for payment. Many thanks for your cooperation. 🙂


Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Trail Raiser Smellie
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec Wet Johnny
Web /Web Master Bluebird


This years membership, which is due now is £30 Alternatively, you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name




GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.























Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout