Given the runaround - Take 2

 

TVH3 The Words for 20th November 2023  

Court Farm, Abbotskerswell  

Run No. 1996

HARES: Sugar Puff, Cameltoe & the Silver Sweeper

Who wuz there: Sugar Puff, Cameltoe, the Silver Sweeper, 

Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Hotlips, Zoot, Beefy, Pisswell, Piltdown 

Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Big End, 

Well Hopped, Ned, Soapy, Melonpicker, Wet Johnny, 

Manopause, Fukarewe, Ernie, Psycho, Warm Front, 

Coldtits, Wetfart, Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Piddler, 

Goingdown (both Circle only), Threesum & non running 

returnee Deep Semen (the latter two pub only).

Circle

As good as their word, returnees, Sugar Puff and Cameltoe

had laid the trail as promised a fortnight earlier. Not only 

that, they had brought along a newbie to undertake the 

role of Sweeper. Now, my sincere apologies, I never got 

to ask you your name. I am guessing that Sugar Puff and 

Cameltoe made you come? But at least we now know what 

happened to Smellie's reflective jacket.

Shitfaced had no announcements. Smellie requires Hares 

for next year. Hotlips reminded us of this coming Saturday's 

pub crawl by train via Newton Abbot and Exmouth. I also 

spoke to Wetfart regarding Teapot. Not a lot of information 

but at least there are signs of movement which must be a 

step in the right direction.

Then over to our Hares who had been press-ganged by 

Smellie at the King William IV a fortnight ago. Sugar Puff 

advised that the trail had originally been laid the previous 

day. Overnight rain had dictated a partial relay on the day. 

There was one Long/Short split. The first part of the trail had 

marks on the right, thereafter they would be on the left (some 

Hashers clearly weren't listening at this point as we shall 

see later). The Longs would be about 5 miles and the Shorts 

4'ish.

Trail

If Archangel's trail gave us the runaround last week, this week 

the buzzword was ROUND.

The pack turned left out of the pub car park and down Wilton 

Way. At Wilton Way's junction with Slade Lane, the Shorts 

went left whilst the Longs went right. 

 

It wasn't long before the Longs came to a check outside the

long-time-closed Butcher's Arms.

 

From here the trail went up a track and looped ROUND 

and back on itself to create the additional mile for the Longs'. 

Where the return trail rejoined the outward trail, there was a 

huge arrow marking the outward trail. Most of the Longs

recognised the arrow and knew that they had done a loop. 

Not so Ernie and Psycho. They both saw the arrow and 

were about to re-do the Longs' loop again. If it hadn't have

been for Fukarewe and Warmfront, the pair of them would 

have been going ROUND & ROUND for ever and a day.

The Longs were now on a mission to catch up with the Shorts 

as, from now on, it would be a common trail. At the bottom of 

Priory Road we came to the OH sign and an arrow directing 

us up Priory Road. At least we knew we'd be coming back this 

way at some stage. Beeflicker was FRB. At the first junction 

up Priory Road, there was a check. Beeflicker checked straight 

ahead and continued up Priory Road. Wet Johnny went left 

along Manor Road and Beefy checked up Stoneman's Hill. 

The latter two came back empty handed. Eventually, a call from 

Beeflicker and the Longs pursued the calls of "On-On" from atop 

Priory Road.

Just before the priory the road levels off and there is a public 

footpath to the left. Sure enough, another large arrow had us 

embark along this footpath. The start of the footpath is at the 

brow of a hill and, as we looked down across two fields, we 

could see several torches ahead of us. This would be the Shorts.

 

The footpath skirts the left hand edge of the first field before a 

gap in the hedge and a tiny bridge took us into the next field just 

next to an abandoned barn. This field had been planted with 

maize and was jolly slippery underfoot. Despite the slip-sliding 

through the mud, I am not aware that we had any fallers this week.

Soon the bulk of the Longs caught up with the Shorts. However, 

we missed a small gap in the hedge that would have taken us 

into the third and last field before entering Decoy Country Park.

 

We climbed up an unfamiliar path through the maize. We knew 

that Beeflicker, Beefy and Wet Johnny were ahead of us and 

we heard Beefy calling "On-On" to our right. We were off trail, 

but not by much. We backtracked and soon found ourselves 

back on trail.

At the point at which we entered Decoy Park, we expected to

see a check. No check but Big End did spy a single dot of flour 

to our left. Big End, Well Hopped and Man-Pig headed north 

west but no marks. Nevertheless, we were convinced that we'd 

be turning left at the top of Decoy Brake and embarking up the

steep footpath that eventually meets up with Stoneman's Hill - 

wrong'ish. Where we expected to turn left a large arrow had us

 turn right. This would take us down to Decoy Lake....a loop 

 ROUND the lake perhaps?

We followed the track where the arrow had pointed us and 

eventually arrived at a 5 bar gate and a mark. But what sort of 

a mark? Whilst we pondered the curious mark, Warmfront caught 

up with us. We concluded that it was a cross and turned right 

and towards the lake. Coming towards us were torches. 

It was Wet Johnny, Beeflicker and Manopause.

"Are you on trail?" we enquired.

"Yes. We've just been ROUND the lake".

Hmmmm. They had gone ROUND clockwise and we were 

going ROUND anticlockwise. In fairness, we had been 

following marks on our right when we should have been 

following marks that lay to our left. Big End, Well Hopped 

and myself decided to carry on ROUND the lake 

anticlockwise. We knew that the trail wasn't back the way 

we'd just come.....or was it? Warmfront, meanwhile, wasn't

 content with just going ROUND the lake anticlockwise, 

she then went ROUND clockwise as well.

We continued ROUND the lake anticlockwise spotting the 

occasional mark to our right. Looking across the lake we 

could see plenty of torches....lost Hashers. Inevitably, we 

met up with the rest of the pack again. Now it had swollen 

to include Ernie, Fukarewe, Smellie and Soapy. 

We searched high and low for marks that would get us away 

from the aquatic merrygoROUND. Nothing. The only marks 

were the ones that we'd followed down to the lake. 

 

We backtracked and encountered the shimmering ghostly 

figure of the Silver Sweeper. We were back at the perplexing 

check. Was it a cross? Was it an arrow? Neither, it was a 

crarrow.

The Silver Sweeper directed us through the kissing gate and 

said, "Turn left at the end".

We followed his instructions and in short order we had emerged 

from the woodland of the Blackball Plantation. We turned left 

and along the edge of a field for a couple of hundred yards 

before arriving at a wide track. This looked familiar. We turned

 left and headed for the bottom of the steep footpath at the edge 

of Decoy Brake. This would take us up to near the crest of 

Stoneman's Hill. Despite the absence of marks, we knew the way 

home now and embarked on the final push to the summit Chris 

Bonnington style. Then a shout of "On-On" from up ahead. 

Was this Well Hopped, Sherpa Tensing or Big End? I arrived at 

"the mark" and took a closer look. It was very white but had 

straight edges. Not really like a blob of flour. I bent down 

to check that it was, indeed, flour. No. It was a white stone!

It made no difference. We were three quarters of the way 

up the first field. Looking behind us a long string of torches 

were following like lost sheep. Then another call of "On-On". 

Really? But this time there was no doubt; a large arrow in 

flour just the other side of the last stile. We were all back 

on trail, amazingly.

The final leg had us turn left down Stoneman's Hill and then

 right along the enclosed public footpath that took us back 

into Abbotskerswell at Ford Road. Unbeknown to us, we 

had presumed too much. We were off trail and we had 

missed the sweetie stop. 

But we weren't going to be late for a beer. We crossed 

Manor Road and took a left along Slade Lane and the OH.

What great trail and, just like last week, made all the more 

enjoyable by the absence of marks. Thankyou, Hares and 

Sweeper.

Down-Downs

Once everyone had finished their scoff and, for the first 

time ever, the sweetie stop in the pub, it was time for the 

Down Downs.

The first half of ale had to go to the Hare for giving us 

the runaround.

"Which one of you devised the countercyclical route 

ROUND and ROUND Decoy lake?" A finger was pointed 

and up came the male Hare. Now, was this Sugar Puff 

or Cameltoe? After a thorough investigation, the RA 

concluded that this was unlikely to be Cameltoe. 

A note for "giving us the run-around".

"Who has an award from last week?". Beeflicker steps 

up with the Jester's Hat. This he immediately gives to 

Psycho. Something about a tampon issue in the car 

park. Oh Lordy. I think this is a first. This is 

an unprecedented fourth award in as many weeks*. 

Worse. Psycho tries to convince everyone gathered 

that it is only her third.....liar! 

A note for "the serial sinner".

Unsurprisingly, it is now Pysycho's turn to offload some 

of her accumulated awards. The Checking Chicken 

Hat goes to Soapy. 

Soapy had thought that she'd caught up with a Hasher. 

In fact it was a senior gentlemen who was out walking his 

dog. A note for "the Dogger"; the dogger elects to go for 

the glass of water.

Psycho's turn again as she has two awards looking for 

a new temporary home ( I don't know why she is even 

bothering to award them as most of the awards seem 

to have taken up permanent residence at chez Psycho). 

Nevertheless, the saga of Hotlips' Reynard's disease 

is still a hot, or should that be cold, topic. Hence Psyco 

gives the Horned Hat to Hotlips. A note for 

"the white helmet".

There is one half pint of ale and one award left. It is the 

Baby Bat Hat from last week. This was awarded to 

Woodlend but entrusted to Man-Pig for safekeeping. 

Man-Pig's story comprised tales of mistaken identity 

and lying. The first involves those on the Longs who, 

upon seeing a large arrow, decided to go ROUND 

again. Candidates were Ernie and Psyco. At least 

Ernie admitted to his mistake. Whereas Psycho denied 

being off trail at any point......doubtful. The other 

candidate was whoever called "On-On" due 

to a white stone being spotted. In the absence of Sherpa 

Tensing this had to be Well Hopped or Big End. 

The blushes said it all. 

A vote was called for. Liar No. 1 - Pscho - some cheers. 

Liar No. 2 - 

Well hopped - huge crescendo. Baby Bat Hat to Well 

Hopped and a note for "the petrified one".

Next week

Next week's Hash is at the Manor Inn, Galmpton, with 

Hare U-Bend.

On-On to next week.

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