The Bishop Lacy, Chudleigh
Run No. 2009
HARES: Hot Lips & Zoot
Who
wuz there: Zoot, Hotlips, Man-Pig, Shitfaced, Only Here for the Beer,
Forrest-Stump, Perry, Warmfront, Psycho, Amy, Beefy, Pisswell,
Beeflicker, Squeaky Bum, Well Hopped, Big End, Ned, Roger the Dodger,
Wet-Johnny, Slip-on-Me, Wetfart, Threesum, Strap-On & Ernie.
Circle
GM
Shitfaced welcomed all into the Circle for our first 'Bring a Friend'
Hash.....numbers were down. No visitors and no virgins. Indisputable
proof that Hashers have no friends outside of the Hash.
Shitfaced
also reminded Man-Pig that he was laying next week's trail that may, or
may not, be at the Old Commercial, Bishopsteignton.
For the benefit of those who could not attend Fallen Woman's funeral, Zoot gave a brief summary.
Fallen Woman was most certainly not short of friends.
Approximately
250 attended the funeral including members of at least eight Hashes
and the Pedal-bash. A fantastic turnout for a fantastic woman.
Fallen
Woman's daughters have now returned to their respective homes and
Broken man would be glad of any visitors.....and perhaps a craft
excursion to the Queens Hotel?
Wetfart
gave us a new update on Teapot. Basically, there is no change. Teapot
is still in Torbay hospital and had been given a zimmer frame to
assist him with his balance. Again, any visitors would be most
welcome.
Smellie
phoned in to advise that she was feeling a little poorly so would not
be in attendance this evening. So it was over the the Hares.
Hotlips
imparted some surprising insider knowledge. "It is a bit muddy out
there", and so it proved to be. There were two Long/Short splits and
the Longs would be about 5 miles, Shorts 3 and the Walkers' trail even
shorter.
For
those that were hungry but had not placed a food order yet, we would
be running past the pub, so pop your head in and Thomas Cook it.
Trail
The
trail took us out of the car park via the footpath next to the Globe.
We turned right down Fore Street and past the Bishop Lacy before
coming to the first Long/Short split.
The
Shorts continued straight on whilst the Longs' trail looped down
along Old Way and past the sewerage treatment works only to re-emerge
near the slip road onto the A38.
The
Longs then headed back into Chudleigh before rejoining the Shorts on
the footpath that passes Lawell House. The fields here were sodden and
the track leading to the fields was very slippery.
Even
when we started climbing, the going was still boggy. We had to get
onto the farm track before we could gain any degree of traction.
The
pack continued upwards towards Winstow Cottages. As per usual,
Beeflicker was off like a shot with the Topiary Twins not far behind.
This,
at least, had the benefit that all the checks would be kicked out
before the time that Wet-Johnny, Beefy and I got to them.
A little way behind us were Big End and Well Hopped who, in turn, had stolen a lead on Pisswell and Forrest Stump.
By
the time we arrived at the edge of Ugbrook House, (easily
recognisable by the stone wall surrounding its grounds) I had thought
that we would have caught up with the Shorts. But no. What had
happened to them I'll never know as I never saw any of them after the
car park.
I can only assume that the evening ended up comprising Walkers and Longs only.
We
headed northeast along the lane that skirts Ugbrook Park until an
unkicked-out check had us catch up with the Topiary Twins. A call from
FRB, Beeflicker, and we were going downhill at last.
We
were now on a public footpath crossing two fields before arriving at
the second Long/Short split. The Shorts' trail remained in the field
heading northwest, over Kate Brook, and back into Chudleigh.
The
Longs were heading northeast and along a broad, but watery, track
that runs into Garden Spot Lane. An arrow had us head left and
downhill back towards Chudleigh. A check at Waterside Meadow fooled
Wet-Johnny as the trail was just a few yards further away and running
past the skateboard park, now heading for Old Kate Bridge.
I was hoping that the next check or arrow would have us go left, past the bowling club, and back into town.
Oh
no. I knew what was coming. An arrow pointed dead ahead. This was
going to be a straight lane up to Brimley Corner, then a left at
Brimley Stile and back to Chudleigh Sports fields across three
waterlogged fields that never dry out (apart from 6 days in mid summer
according to local girl Warmfront).
The trail finished by climbing up Brocklands before turning left and down New Exeter Street and back to the car park.
Well,
mud is what we were promised and mud is what we got. The day had been
warm and windy and I had rather expected some of the trail to have
had a bit of a blow dry.....evidently not!
Down-Downs
Roger
the Dodger awarded the Hashshit shirt to Man-Pig for being a good
samaritan and coming to his aid in his time of need.
Roger the Dodger hadn't seen anything on trail so could anyone help him out?
Man-Pig
jumped to the rescue with a story about the Topiary Twins yakking all
the way around the trail about all that is inane and useless. In
particular, Warmfront's penchant for taking her trainers into work so
that she can make use of the Met office's drying room.
However,
whilst imparting such drivel to RTD, the Pig was blissfully unaware
that the Topiary Twins were right behind him and they
heard....EVERYTHING! So much for Man-Pig's act of kindness. A note for
the sneak.
No
more awards but Beefy had a story about a hasher failing to dress
himself properly in the car park. Someone spent several minutes
attempting to put on a shirt whilst being oblivious to the fact that his
difficulty was due to the fact that he'd left the coat hanger in the
shoulders..... come on down, Forrest Stump. A note for the natty
dresser.
Warmfront
deservedly received a Down-Down. I think it was for popping home and
changing her socks but not her knickers that were still a trifle damp.
The Down-Down should really have gone to Psyco who popped home and changed everything. "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy".
The
last half pint could/should have gone to our only faller of the
evening - Roger the Dodger.
However, it eventually went to someone who
was slip-sliding her way around the trail muttering, "Mud, mud, mud".
But not before the Down-Downs were rudely interrupted by two enormous
farts. Johnny Fartpants would have been proud of those.
It
was made ten times worse because they were let go during a quiet
period in the proceedings. A hasher's rather florid complexion gave the
game away. Nonetheless, it was not enough to prevent virgin Amy from
receiving the final Down-Down - "Here's to the dirty one".
Next week
Next week's Hash is from the Old Commercial in Bishopsteignton.
The Hares are Man-Pig & Bluebird.
On-On to next week. MP
No comments:
Post a Comment