THE BELL INN

Run #2110 Monday 5th January Circle up 7:15 pm outside the Bell Inn, Town Hall Pl, Bovey Tracey, Newton Abbot TQ13 9AA with Beeflicker. No food available but hashers are welcome to bring their own.

TVH3 The Words for 29th December 2025

The Lord Nelson, Kingskerswell

Run No. 2109

 

HARE: Man-Pig

 

Who wuz there: Man-Pig, Pocket Rocket, Shitfaced, Beefy, Pisswell, Piltdown Man, Gorgy Porgy, Coldtits, Beeflicker, U-Bend, Melonpicker, Miss'Ing, Roger the Dodger, Big End, Well Hopped, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer and returnee - Runner Bean 

 

THE LONGS VIEW by Beefy

At a normal (I know) Hash, Beefy is the last On Trail owing to taking a video of the departing Hashers. This was no different. The fact that all were funnelled into the narrow, steeply descending path which leads from the Nelson to Torquay Road meant that the front runners were well away as recording continued of the rear guard comprising our GM and former GM as they discussed their plan to "run the Longs, as usual". 

 

Indubitably. Beefy got going and, having reached Jury's Corner, found the Longs ascending Coffinswell Lane and caught up with Pisswell. We found Miss Inn at our first check and heard "On" called, by Bee Flicker, farther up the road. 

 

We left the bright lights of 'Kerswell and crossed the boundary into the sloe blackness of Coffinswell via the ancient, unmade route. Not for long, however, as Bee Flicker came into view calling "Back check!" Being at the back of the pack, Beefy was first to the Trail which branches left and climbs and then drops into Coffinswell (Haccombe, Daccombe, Coffinswell. All begins with "A". [Ask a real local what this means.]) 

 

The descent, even when dry, keeps your concentration up and, at the end, we wet our shoes before emerging on tarmac at a junction. Beefy wandered around looking for marks and was soon joined by returnee Runner Bean who found a mark On Left. 

 

Bee Flicker caught up and we ran past Greenaway Lane and onto a Check at the junction of Under Way and Milber Lane. Bee Flicker went left and Runner Bean ran right. Beefy stood listening for the "On" Call when a pair of chattering Harriets, in the form of Miss Inn and Pisswell approached. As luck would have it, a barely perceptible call was heard, the check was kicked out and On we went up Milber Lane. We bore left, continuing on Milber Lane and On past Paraprick's house. [The last time I saw PP he said he would lay a Trail for us... come on, PP, dust off those running shoes and have a run with us: you don't have to lay a Trail, it would just be good to see you among us again!] 

 

An arrow shot us left into a narrow path which exited onto the zigzag road between Zig Zag Quarry and Royal Aller Vale Quarry and then exits onto Aller Brake Road but, no.. a cross. Back up the hill to a path on the right for a run through the woods parallel to the road until it drops to the road and a change in direction back towards Torquay. We take a right and right again into Aller Road to run past some very new-looking houses on immaculate tarmac: perhaps this counts as Virgin Territory? 

 

Continuing left on Aller Road, over the railway, we approach the confection of roundabouts at Aller Cross. The Pig had instructed: 'The more "road closed" signs you pass, the more On Trail you are.' or something like that. Beefy found Runner Bean here and we pressed on along Old Newton Road, onto Church End Road and Yon Street, then past KFC (Kingskerswell Former Church), over the A380 and On to Check. Runner Bean hit Chuchway Lane while Beefy went straight on up Huxnor Road. Miss Inn appeared around this time but, no Bee Flicker. 

 

Back to the check and it was still intact so, check Eginswell Lane. No marks so, back to the check. Bee Flicker turned up and found marks along Edginswell Lane on the Right so, "On" was called and Beefy went back to kick out.

 

The Trail continued along Edginswell Lane. Beefy didn't see the check at Saturday's Lane but, Runner Bean was checking. Bee Flicker had seen a Back Check and met Beefy at Hamelin Way. Runner Bean joined us, fresh from not finding the Trail. Together, we took the path which runs parallel with, then under, Hamelin Way, over the Torquay branch line and back to Torquay Road. 

At the foot crossing, near Kerswell Arch, Bee Flicker carried on back to his car. Runner Bean and I met Coldtits who swore blind we were going the wrong way. Well, we crossed the road to enter Claremont Avenue and join Southey Lane. A short run to Fore Street and arrival back at the Nelly gave a recorded milage of 6.9. The Hare was correct when he said the Longs are a shade under seven miles. Success all round. A great Trail, no rain and, Runner Bean and Beefy concurred that the temperature was balmy compared to Scotland and Widecombe. A jog back to the car made it a (Magnificent) "SEVEN!"

Thanks go to Man Pig, again, for a Trail worth much more than "SEVEN!" by any reckoning and a very good time at the On-down, too.

 

Down-Downs (courtesy of MP)

We start by thanking the pub for having us, for opening for us, for doing the casserole for us and for providing the Down-Downs....a good way in which to end the year.

 

There is one award, close but not present. It is in Beeflicker's car so he is despatched to get it. In his absence we proceeded with stories of misdemeanours.

 

First up was Beefy. He has a story about being unable to hear Runner Bean calling "On-On" or "On Back". This is because he could not be heard above the continued rabbitting between Miss'Ing and Pisswell. Unable to reproduce Chas & Dave's "yak. Yak. Rabbit. Rabbit", Miss'Ing was chosen to receive the DD accompanied by, "Here's to Rabbit. Rabbit".

 

Beeflicker returns with the Guinness stove pipe hat. He has a story about one of our experienced FRB's getting lost and nearly doing the trail a second time. This goes to Pisswell. "You're stupid. You're stupid. You're so damn dumb. If your Mother hadn't been there you'd be a lump of cum".

 

The tables are turned and there is a note for the chivalrous one....if anyone could pronounce it, which they couldn't. This went to Beeflicker for helping an elderly person across the main road....or was it he that was helped across the road? It matters not. No one can pronounce chivalrous without stuttering so it is a note for, "Age Concern".

 

Coldtits gets a DD for being late....I think.

 

Our returnee, Runner Bean, gets a DD for, well, returning, albeit briefly.

 

The final two halves go to a pair of Hashers who, somehowm found themselves off trail and in The park Inn for a swifter on the way round the trail. Inevitably, it is the usual suspects, Shitfaced and Pocket Rocket. A note for "The led and the misled".

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the Bell Inn, Bovey Tracey. Our Hare is Beeflicker. No food but we are welcome to bring our own.

On-On to next week and a Happy New Year from Beefy and Manpig

LAST HASH 2025

 

Run #2109 Monday 29th December for the last hash of the year: Circle up 7:15 pm from The Lord Nelson, Kingskerswell TQ12 5JB with Man-Pig.

The words for hash #2108 from “Le shack” at the Live and Let Live at Landscove

Hare and scribe: Pisswell

Who woz there:

We “Sang choirs of Angels”,

Pysho, Warmfront, Manpig,

Forrest, Wood-lend and Tongue and Groove,

Melonpicker, Soapy and Fuckarwe,

Bobbiball, Slip on me,

Pocket Rocket, Beefy,

Georgie P’Orgy, SMEllie

and Piltdown man.

Sing up Archangel,

Beeflicker and Coldtits,

Miss Inn, Miss Inn’s dear child and Virgin Kate,

Sooty and Sweep, they were our returnees

They played guitar and accordian,

But we could hardly hear them

We sang so loud we drowned them

Wha-at a din!

The circle: with Mariah Carey ( you wish!)

He don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing he needs

The Astronomical new year

Beefy wants group photos here

Smellie wants to know her hares

Put your name for Feb, who dares?

Manpig’s wish come true

Volunteer for the words to do

And over to the hare—with Frank Sinatra

Have yourselves a merry little run now

Follow your headlight

With shots all our troubles

will be out of sight

Have some fun in the Live and Let Live inn

Hope you find your way

Next week all your dried mud will be washed away

So hope your long shorts don’t split, or reveal today!

The trail:

O little town near Staverton

The polar express steams by

Above the deep valley we peep

To see the train go by

We hope to hear the whistle

As it travels every year

The North Pole it is aiming for

Whilst we just want a beer!

At Landscove we will “Live and let live”

“Le Shack” we circle round

The hashers run out from all ways

The trail has to be found

They find the route but it’s not far

As carols they must sing

Their regroups are with Christmas treats

And a sherry, port or gin! ( baileys actually)

There’s lots of runs on little tracks

I’ll send you all the routes

Back to the hare and gather in

Warm fire and kick off boots

As all paths lead to Landscove

And festive Christmas snacks

We’ll have a shot whilst all around

Are slowly getting back

The out takes

Oh The first thing that happened

Was just a power cut

We worried about the turkey!

Oh the second thing that happened

The walkers all got lost

First trail of 3

And we worried about the turkey!

Oh the third thing that happened

A messy number 2

Everyone wrong,

Made a big job

And we worried about the turkey!

Oh the fourth thing that happened

They tried for number three

Second time round

Missed number 2s

Too drunk to see

And we worried about the turkey!

Oh the fifth thing to happen

was probably the best

Le shack was fab

Great time was had

Carols were sung

Turkey was done

And we ate by the fire, my great baps!

The down downs:

The holly and the ivy

The wreath it went to Kate

She came from the Outer Hebrides

To be virgin was her fate!

Angel

Angels from the realms of glory

Warmfront spoilt our number twos!

Made it messy and a big job

All came back with dirty shoes!

C..o…m…e in the Summer

We’ll try it again

C…o…m…e, it was the best one

Number 2 we’ll try again

King

1 Good King Wenceslas looked out on the fields of Lanscove

So Beeflicker ran round about, deep in shiggy he dove

Pushed poor Forrest in the mud

We all thought it cruel,

When the poor man came in sight, he looked such a fo-o-l!

Shepherd

While Beefy watched through camera lens

To make a photo group

It was just like him herding cats

and hashing round in loops!

And one for the hare with ABBA

Thank you all for coming

The carol singing

Thanks for all the fun you’re bringing

It was disappointing

You didn’t quite do my route

But what a hoot

Your number twos were messy and rude

So, I say Le Shack was amazing

And so were all of you

Yes, I say Please tell trip advisor

The shots and bops were too

 

CHRISTMAS TIME

Run #2108 Monday 22nd December Circle up 7:15 pm from the Live and Let Live, Landscove TQ13 7LZ

Christmassy hash with hare Pisswell

We can hopefully hear the Polar express steam train on its way to Totnes/ the North pole that night. Festive Turkey bap for just £7 a head. They would prefer pre orders, so please message Pisswell at 07879539913 if you want to eat.

It’s a great destination pub and Pisswell has lots of Christmas shots and stops planned, (thank you 3sum) so dress up, tune up for carols and don’t worry how far. It’s just outside Ashburton and it'll be worth it!

 

 

THE BIRTHDAY BOYS (2)

 Birthday greetings today (Thursday) go to Lieutenant General George S. Beeflicker, TVH3's Four Star Hare.

 

THE BIRTHDAY BOYS (1)

Come with me on a flight back in time. It is 7:52 am on the 20th May 1927 and this immortal aviator sets off from Roosevelt Field on Long Island for a flight that will go down in history.

But wait, on closer scrutiny of the faded monochrome photos, an uncanny likeness is perceived. Shirley, my old eyes deceive me.

On this day, Wednesday 17th December 2025, we raise our glasses once more to our Birthday Aviator, that fearless hasher - MP!

 

TVH THE WORDS

 

Hash Words 16.12.2025

(to the tune of In the Bleak Mid Winter)

In the Bleak Mid Winter, just a few days ago.

A group of hardy hashers, had spent all their dough

Gathered outside the Kings Arms, in the pouring rain

‘We need hares for 2026.’ S.M.Ellie did refrain.

--------------------------

Clearly that humbuggery, was a step too far

For as while she slipped away to blow her nose

She did find...

That she was now doing the words!

___________________________________________________

So... You asked for it!

____________________________________________________

( to Oh Come All Ye Faithful)

Oh Come All Ye Faithful, Georgie P and Piltdown,

Psycho and Warm front, Roger and Fuckarewe?!

Smash and Miss Mash, Man Pig and Beefie.

----------------------------------------------

I bet I’ll forget someone,

I am bound to forget some one

I know I will forget someone. Christ the Lord!

------------------------------------------------------

Well hopped and Big End, Strap on and Ernie

Wet Jonny and Miss Inn, That must be it!

Big Thanks to Beeflicker, for a great 321 trail!

----------------------------------------

I bet I’ll forget someone,

I am bound to forget some one

I know I will forget someone. Christ the Lord!

---------------------------

Welcome to Gnasher, who hails from Cornwall,

Thank you too to Melon Picker, as tickets he did shred.

Surely that's it everybody? I’m sure you will soon tell me!

_________________________________________________________

[Meanwhile in a pub not far way...]

(to Away in a Manger)

Indoors in the Kings Arms, no running for them

Was Threesum and Basecamp, Slip On, Pocket Rocket and Able Seaman

Shredding tickets and labelling bottles, A fine and hearty spread

Thanks to them all we were merry, and very well fed.

_____________________________________________________________

(to the tune of I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing By)

I saw three FRB’s come sailing by, flying by...

I saw was three FRBs gazelling by at 8’oclock in the evening.

------------------------------------------------------

What a bloody state I’m in, Coughing and spluttering...

Oh what a bloody state I’m in, at 8 o’clock in the evening!

----------------------------------------------------------

Beer lights are a twinkling, everyone is laughing

So that’s why are all here, at 8 o’clock in the evening.

__________________________________________________________

( to the tune of Winter Wonderland)

Raining is falling... all around us,

Long and shorts... we are aboundness

No worries today, we’re on our way.

Running in the soggy, shiggy land

_____________________________________________________

[On Down ]

( Back to I saw three Ships)

I saw three hasher come in late, Wet Fart, Cold Tits and Shitfaced

They were in a more dry state, at 8.30 in the evening.

I saw three hashers have down downs, Fuckarewe, Ernie and Man Pig

Not forgetting the hare of course, at 9 o’clock in the evening.

I saw three bottles of gin I didn’t win, rum and wine and the odd tin.

But it was Beefies pie that I took. At 10 o’clock in the evening.

_________________________________________________________________________

(to the tune of Merry Christmas Everyone!)

Rain was falling, all around us

Hashers laughing having fun

Tis a day of beer and down downing...

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Pisswell’s trail next week. Live and Let Live - TQ13 7LZ- Wear your Festive finery!

ON ON! S. M.Ellie X

 

CHRISTMAS DRAW TIME!

 Run #2107 Monday 15th December CHRISTMAS DRAW from the Kings Arms, Kingsteinton TQ12 3EG. Circle up 7:15 pm for the briefing and trail courtesy of our hare, Beeflicker. Note that the pub car park is quite small, so try to avoid the 'car' ousel if arriving late.

THE DIRTY DOZEN

TVH3 The Words for 8th December 2025

The King Bill, Totnes

Run No. 2106 

 

THE DIRTY DOZEN

starring Wet Johnny

as Major John Reisman

 

HARE: Wet - in fact very Wet Johnny

 

 

Who wuz there: Wet Johnny, Man-Pig, Beefy, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Coldtits, Beeflicker, Psycho, Miss Mash, Smash and long term absentee & new grandad - Fukarewe

 

Circle

Wet, and I mean a very wet, Johnny rounded us up for the pre-run instructions. He stepped up to the mark and matched the Gold Standard for perseverance in the face of adversity as set by last week's Hares, Roger the Dodger and Well Hopped. Despite the weather, there were, indeed, three trails. Although the marks may well have been making their way down the Dart estuary at the present time.

This would mean 2 Hashers on each trail as there was a paucity of wet, anxious faces looking back at him. A mere half dozen. Piltdown said, "Let's give it another couple of minutes". This was just as well as first an incoming via Whatsapp from Smellie, "Train running late. I will miss the Circle". Then, returnee, Fukarewe pitches up followed by Man-Pig. Soon thereafter, Psycho makes an appearance (well, that's one of tonight's DD's accounted for) followed by Coldtits. Hence the dirty dozen.

 

Announcements

Surprisingly, Psycho announces that Warmfront isn't coming as it's too wet....TOO WET for she of the fastest female on the Grizzly. What sort of a wuss is she turning into? I think that one of next week's DD's has also been accounted for.

By the magic of Whatsapp, Smellie passes a message to the Circle requiring Hares for January. Finally, Man-Pig is just about to ask for a volunteer for The Words. But he is stopped before he can even start. A "volunteer" has already been assigned. It is the Pig - for being late at the Circle. Drat and double-drat.

 

Trail

So where will our star Hare take us on this wet and windy evening? Virgin territory; that's where.

The trail starts by taking the pack down Station Road to Sainsbury's filling station where there is a Walkers/Long & Shorts split. The former head towards Brutus Bridge the latter across the road.

The Longs embark on a loop of footpaths; initially along Borough Park Road and then a series of footpaths towards Totnes railway station and thence onto a check on the river bank footpath. The Pig checks upstream only to find a cross. Meanwhile the FRB's, Beeflicker, Beefy and Psycho steal a small lead on Fukarewe and Man-Pig.

 

The trail now takes us off the river bank and over Brutus Bridge before an arrow has us crossing the main road and onto virgin territory in the form of Bourton Road. Here we catch up with Coldtits (the only other Hasher we were due to encounter on tonight's mildly damp trail). Another arrow and we were directed right and up Jubilee Road (Nicki Court - oh where are you now?). Yet another arrow and it was straight across Bridge Town Hill and onto Blackpost Lane. We were now back on familiar territory but running clockwise....previous excursions have always been anti-clockwise.

 

Despite the weather, the marks were still intact and the trail easy to follow. Fukarewe was running well after his prolonged absence and, due to a couple of checks, it wasn't long before we caught up with the FRB's. A right turn along Weston Lane and then left down Home Reach Avenue and Camomile Lawn before the "Snakes and Ladders" style descent to the sweetie stop at the crime scene at the end of Steamer Quay. Beeflicker went over to investigate but little information was divulged by CSI officers; merely that it was "serious", Police speak for "Bugger off". Apparently, a car had crashed into a hedge at the far end of Steamer Quay car park...at speed.

 

With no further information to be gleaned, Beeflicker returned to the "It's a Knockout" competition taking place between the FRB's and the Hare. The name of the game was, "Open the packets of sweets". As try as we might, wet hands just weren't gaining traction. We pulled. We tugged. We chewed. We bit. At last Psycho got into a bag just before Beeflicker made a micro-hole in his bag. Then, for no apparent reason, we all started feeding sweets to each other - popping them in each others' mouths; Romantic or just plain odd?

 

Post sweetie stop, the trail took us along Steamer Quay and Steamer Quay Road, over Totnes Bridge, left along The Plains and to a W & L/S split near the Victoria Road car park. The temptation of an early Legend was too much for Fukarewe who parted company with the Pig and returned to his car.

With hindsight, I should have followed him. A couple of hundred yards later I caught up with the FRB's at at the bottom of Moat Hill. Beeflicker found the trail leading to the final L/S split at the junction of Moat Hill and Totnes Down Hill. Surely some mistake? We can't be going all the way up here I thought....It's one hell of a hill. But no mistake. I looked at the GPS - a mere 3.6 miles and we'd been promised 6 miles. Oh misery, because the next one and a half miles was all uphill.

 

The rain had abated a bit and, at sea level, the wind wasn't too bad. But we were climbing high now and by the time we reached the rear entrance to Bowden House it was quite blustery. An arrow had us turn sharp right and onto a broad but jolly muddy lane. Beeflicker shouted "On-On" and, indeed, there were marks at the beginning of the deathly slippery lane. 

 

About a third of the way along this lane there was another public footpath to our right. Beefy and Psycho pushed on ahead. I stopped for a quick look but no marks. 

 

Thus far, despite the rain, the marks had been pretty good. We pushed on down to the end of the lane. I recognised the spot as where wet Johnny had his sweetie stop 53 weeks ago! Beefy checked uphill. Psycho checked downhill upto the junction with the Western Bypass/Kingsbridge Hill, but no marks also no Beeflicker.

 

What should we do? Given the time, 8.50, we thought that we would stay on road and make our way back to the pub via Western Bypass and Cistern Street. We did, however, stop at the toll house at the top of Fishchowters' Lane (one of Wet Johnny's favourites) and looked for marks but there were none to be seen.

 

A simple run back to the pub where the Pig stuck his snout in just to tell everyone that we were back and just off to get changed.

 

Down-Downs

With numbers so low we contemplated not bothering with the DD's. Smash and Miss Mash frequently do not do the post run pub as it is a school night for Miss Mash. Fukarewe's early retirement meant that he'd already been to the pub for his pint of Legend and gone home by the time the last of the FRB's arrived at the bar at 9.25. Additionally, Psycho had sloped off early too....she would have been bound to have been awarded a DD.

 

Nevertheless, with only 8 present it was decided that we would push on with the DD's. However, given the low numbers it was felt that it would be a little cheeky to ask Rob (the Landlord) for some free beers. Hence 3 halves were purchased and a glass of water (how apt) for the DD's.

First up was the Hare for a vey good trail, substantially well marked, laid in atrocious weather. A note for "Wet wet Johnny".

 

Next were two contenders for wardrobe malfunctions. Man-Pig had misplaced his dry socks and Smellie had forgotten a change of clothing. Whereas her top was dry she had a very wet bottom half, and that wasn't going to get dry before she got home. Inevitably, Smellie won hands down and a note for the "Soggy arse".

 

Were there any awards from previous weeks present? No chance. But were there any stories? Yes. Beeflicker has one. It is about the three FRB's who did not stay on trail. 

 

Apparently, we should not have continued all the way along the muddy track to the site of last year's sweetie stop. We should have taken a right and down the footpath that would have taken us onto Fishchowter's Lane. So, who was following who? Beefy explained that he had not learned from the previous week where he blindly followed Psycho off trail and that he'd done the same again this week. As the real culprit had already exited stage left the final half went to Beefy accompanied by, "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy".

 

There is a solitary half pint of water on the table but, unsurprisingly, we'd all had enough water for one evening.

 

Thankyou Wet Johnny. A great trail in appalling conditions. Well done.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the Kings Arms, Kingsteignton. Our Hare is Beeflicker and we are promised a fairly short trail as it is the TVH3 Christmas Raffle - bring a large cardboard box to take your winnings home with you!

 

On-On to next week. MP