A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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BELVEDERE MUDBATH

April 2nd # 1736 Haldon Belvedere - Hare Wide Receiver-OD Bishop Lacy- Scribe Bluebird
Singalong with me now: Oh, where do I begin, to tell the story of how great a hash it's been...
But back briefly to the Belvedere car park or rather a glorified lay-by. Teapot, he of the official roll call, announced that 30 hashers had assembled to hear the reliable dulcet delivery of the imposing Grand Master Piltdown.
 Returnees Paraprick and the shy Rearender were seen as well as the Orestone crowd of Sybil, Ding Dong and their 5 star travelling quarters for two hash dogs, and all were made welcome.
Wishing Rambo well and speedy recovery from all present was given pride of place before all other matters and it was reassuring to see Doris at the circle, kindly delivered by Winfield.
The hare Wide Receiver (who had been in action the previous day laying an Easter Sunday trail which was to be revisited after suitable reinstatement) proceeded to give a hash marking tutorial. This was highly significant, as without the armament of back checks and the FRB nightmarish fish hooks, the trail could not have been the triumph that it ultimately proved to be.
Given their marching orders, the hash bandwagon, augmented by at least eight dogs, rolled out into Haldon forest.
Veering off left down what seemed a picturesque wooded trail, the pride of the TVH immediately encountered bog conditions. Helplessly did they flounder in the unforgiving morass, pristine and gaily coloured hash outfits quickly surrendering to the elements.
The GM, valiantly assisting harriets had to be rescued himself and many a lament could be heard - and this after only two hundred yards! It was only the start of an hour and a half of unabated joy for some of the longs ...
Struggling to keep up - filming can lose you a lot of ground - I had my only stroke of luck when the hash was seen coming back from the first of the hare's back checks HA! Mud bespattered and disgruntled, they drifted back from whence they had just come.
Manpig was espied suspiciously probing the adjacent undergrowth, and I joined him on a mini expedition to out think the hare and steal a march. It proved futile and the half mile detour was punished by a lung gasping lope to rejoin the hash.
By now the hash was strung out and several little pockets of rattled hashers were waiting calls back from scouts - being reluctant to commit themselves to unnecessary 'flights of fancy' into the darkening woods.
In my world of pain - you try legging it when you're 70 mush - I heard Teapot's bugle call and there he was, bold as brass and miraculously unmuddied. The old firm of Wet Fart, Teapot and 69 joined up and approached another LS split. This proved to be (for me anyway) the defining moment of the evening.
Teapot frowned. 'The short can't be down there.' Thus spoke the accumulated wisdom of fifteen thousand hashes. I was by now thoroughly disorientated by the twists and about turns of the trail (see Beefy's strada) and 'I don't know where we've been and I've just been there.' (Butch Cassidy you fools.)
The mini me hash was now joined by SatNav, Threesome, the shocking pink attired harriet (sorry forgot your handle again) and Paraprick with two dogs. A lurgified Wet Johnny WJ WJ - clearly a hasher barely alive - struggled in the distance.
We dillied, dallied and eventually sallied down the suspicious directed short trail. The resulting cry of anguish was heard by many a hasher (it's that Pillock again!). Another wicked back check had been planted some way down the path - ARGHHH.
Dimly, through a descending red mist, and what I feared was a heart attack, the words of my favourite limerick echoed angel choral style as I sank to my knees*.
It was the final straw, I had been bested and had become even more irrational than usual (is that possible?). The taunting arrow found as we retreated wearily from Moscow beckoned us into nightmarish, heavily overgrown, off trail woods. Fearing for the bedraggled Bird's sanity, supporters gently led him away.
The bitter irony proved to be that the best part of the hash was as indicated - the sweetie stop apparently some 50 yards away from the demented and now insane Bird. In any event, in my current physical condition, it would have been nigh on impossible to do what the longs ultimately did - 90 minutes criss-crossing the trails before arriving back at the Belvedere CP.
A few other vaguely recalled observations:
Threesome deftly accessing the terrain map on her phone. The three returning harriets + large white dog who had come along again after their virgin appearance the week before and who were always there (passed them many times) enjoying it all. A call to a headtorched 'person' completely off trail proved to be Shrivel Dick. Wigwam waiting forlornly for Bobby in the car park begged the question how a walker could be out that long? Forrest in the Bishop Lacy snarling 'I'm NOT going to give you the Moose Hat as a punishment!' (Punishment? Reward actually as only a moron would want to gulp down the beer without enjoying it so please everyone, keep punishing me.) Teapot at the bar asking for the DDs is told by the management (name hidden) 'We didn't know you were coming, you said Monday!'
Didn't try the new Hunters Brewery Bluebeards Revenge 5.1 abv but enjoyed the reliable supping ale Greene King IPA 3.6 abv and fairly priced as well.
A good evening as usual on the only Party Hash in Devon. Thanks Wide, you were a star and I doff my Auteuil limited edition racing baseball cap to you. And nice to see Paraprick again.
* There was a young man from Bengal
Who went to a fancy dress ball
He decided to risk it
And went as a biscuit
But a dog ate him up in the hall
No? Well please yourselves then.
 The Offenders on the night were......
Wide Receiver for taking a ride? on Trqua's dog.
Wigwam for falling into a puddle as he left Bobbi's van!
Beefy for going so wrong at the checks he went round twice (see his map)
Trqua for tripping herself up with her large bulldog.
ON ON to next week and the Wild Goose at Combeinteignhead, hare Shitfaced.
Beefy's recording of  his route at Belvedere

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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