A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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AN EXOTIC ASS, A PISS-UP IN A BREWERY & FORREST COPSE* IT IN THE WOOD

Run #1781 Monday 11th February from the Red Rock Brewery, Higher Humber Farm, Bishopsteignton. Hares: T.Humper, I-Poo'd & Shitfaced

Well, Dearly Beloved, we Shirley had it all Monday night at the Red Rock Brewery high in the hills above Bishopsteignton:
A second edition of the famed Alcoholic Sweetie Stop; beer gushing at two squid a pint; pies to die for; mud mayhem on a 4 star shiggy trail and a right rollicking TVH piss up in a brewery afterwards - Oh Shirley, I must have died and gone to hash heaven.

Roll called at 41 - with a good few returnees including Pisswell, Ben & Hugo, our Polish contingent of Raff, Abscess plus entourage and a pink shoed virgin, Nicole. Welcome all.

Par for the course was the sometimes hectic and always disorganised circle up as the partygoers became restless for action.

The hash hares elaborated a two L/S split trail with an exotic ASS** plus a de rigueur walkers' trail. A show of hands was asked for to see how many pie eaters were present and then the motley crew flew the brewery HA!

Movers Ben and Hugo glided past on the early flat tarmac section ahead of the Poacher/Cider combo and a balaclava clad Blue Bat*** and the usual pecking order was set. But if I knew then what I knew afterwards, I would Shirley have stayed with Fukarwi, WJ et al.

As we turned left into a muddy path, the trail of shorts could be seen above us on the left and cutting across to intercept the longs. At a crossroads unkicked out check and Hugo was hesitating - running buddy Ben had already gone beyond recall and had a glorious Napoleon Solo. 'Which way did Poacher go?' enquired the Bat. Hugo indicated straight ahead and off they sped in hot pursuit. Two marks later and nothing after, it didn't seem right and back they coursed to find a large group of shorts waiting for the scouts. After ruling out their approach, the only option was hard right and the chase was on again Agatha. We never did confirm where Poacher had gone and he wasn't sighted after so suspicions began to form Fukarwi..

A high speed descent down a steep, slippery and muddy path saw the Bat crash land into a hedge but fortunately only ThreeSum spotted the idiot and she sportingly didn't drop the Bat in it.
Winfield was spotted legging it like a good 'un with SM Ellie and apparently back in business after a few niggles, go for it Dad!

Most embarrassingly, three heavyweight hashers, big Jon, Abscess and Raff, shaded the Bat to the summit of a gentle incline. WHAT!

Climbing up another muddy path, BroadS and Bat could see the FRBs up ahead and finally all were reunited at the ASS and what exotic fare was on offer: Margarita cake balls made with tequila, triple sec and white chocolate with a lime garnish plus Pink gin with white chocolate fudge. AHHH and Wet Johnny, who had been struggling before, took off with the alcohol infusion to his turbo.
The last L/S split saw Fukarwi, Wet Johnny, Manpig, Forrest, BroadS and Bat go safari and what a beaut section it was Winfield: Shirley Shiggy, downhill gully galore, tarmac and a final hill to the OH. Said split saw the complete destruction of Forrest Stump who copsed [sic] it in the woods big time. A calamitous collision with a root nearly wrecked his ski foot and a few hundred metres farther on his other shoe completely disintegrated.

Inside the Red Rock and sporting a gashed and bandaged elbow from a previous tumble, we will now have to rebuild Forrest Stump. We have the technology, we can make him better than he was, better, stronger, faster... No? Well please yourselves then.

Courtesy of Forrest's tech, the trail was certified as 4.8 miles but the brewery beer beckoned Bertie.
Red Rock baby and hashers soon became pie-eyed**** supping Lighthouse ale 3.8 ABV and Red Rock ale 4.2 ABV.

T Humper, I-Poo'd and Shitfaced (four trails in as many weeks) had set a rattling good trail and laid on pies galore plus the much lauded Margarita cake balls and Pink gin fudge. I doff my Bat Hat to you all!

DOWNDOWNS
The AWARDS, from our 1781st Trail at The Red Rock Brewery with Hares T.Humper I.Pood assisted by Shitfaced (again!) were presented to the following offenders....
T.HUMPER (hare DD) for that muddy gasping hilly trail, which we all enjoyed! especially those alcoholic sweets!
THREESUM (Horsey horseface hat) who received the panto queen down down!
"Oh yes she did"!
POACHER (Hashit shirt) who definitely Short cutted the trail this time!
BOBBIBALL (Bat hat) why was he wearing a Welsh rugby shirt?
SHITFACED (hare nominated DD) ..someone ate all of the pies we ordered?
*Sic, but then you tiny cult followers Shirley† knew that didn't you?

**Alcoholic Sweetie Stop you fools
***Bat hat in Manpig's boot
****It had to be done.
†Shirley that's enough Shirleys in this episode Bobby. (He complained that there was only one Shirley last week.)

ON ON to next week and the Keyberry Arms, Newton Abbot. A Birthday Hash for our hare Wigwam.

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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