TVH3 The Words for 4th July 2022

Independence Day Hash, Park Inn, Kingskerswell 

 

Run No. 1924

 

HARES: Shitfaced, Bluebird & Man-Pig

 

Who wuz there: Shitfaced, Bluebird, Man-Pig, iPoo'd, Arkangel, Hotlips, Zoot, Fallen Woman, Broken Man, Slip-on-Me, Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Pisswell, Beefy, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Coldtits, Rambo, Well Hopped, Big End, Well Hopped's Dad, Well Hopped's brother?, Piddler, Swinger, Warm Front, Popeye, Wylie Coyote (visitor from South Hams Hash). Additional non-runners: Cheerio Beerio (short distance award - painting banisters), T-Humper (working), Only Here for the Beer, Bobbiball, and a very late guest appearance by Floss.

 

Apologies sent by Forrest who had suffered a broken leg and was waiting for the glue to dry.

 

The Circle

A themed run resulted in some intriguing fancy dresses for America's Fourth of July Independence Day Hash. 

 

The pub had laid on an American-style barbecue (but cooked in the oven apparently) of burgers, weeners, and spare ribs - fortunately no American beer. The majority of the hash had made some attempt at dressing for the occasion. Slip-on-Me had the stars and stripes flag flying from the back of her land Rover - somewhat reminiscent of Dukes of Hazard (remember Daisy and Boss Hogg?). 

 

Shitfaced was in form as Donald Trump. Smellie was a quite alluring Wonder Woman who, by the time we were back in the pub, had metamorphosized into a lumberjack. Then the Hare's instructions were interrupted by Coldtits entering the circle. What can I say? I completely lost my train of thought and I have no idea why.

 

Back to the description of the trail. Shitfaced denied all knowledge of it apart from the Walkers' trail which he'd laid and thought wasn't too bad. Bluebird ran into the bar to hide. Man-Pig (who wasn't even supposed to be co-haring) was left to carry the can.

 

Shitfaced, Bluebird, and the Pig all offered some sort of description of the parts of the trail that they had laid - most of which joined up. Shitfaced was a little economical with the truth regarding distances - apart from the mention of double-figures if one was to do both Longs.

Bluebird just babbled and all three hares said something about the marks being laid in a combination of blue chalk, peach chalk, and flour. "The Long and the Short of it" was, so to speak, "If you want to get back in time for the barbecue, DO NOT DO THE SECOND LONG!" Quite what our visitors from SH4 thought of it all we will never know.....quite a shambles really.

 

BB

At this point, my insertion of the trail should appear. However, upon reflection, I feel unable to give my usual detailed account, interspersed with a little levity.

 

Thinking the long trail would be only about five miles, Man-Pig was delegated to add another split to bring it up to a respectable six.

 

Futile making further elaboration, I made a mistake and my trail proved to be eight miles. Man-Pig's loop was three miles, making the long eleven miles.

 

Man-Pig was at pains in the circle to warn hashers not to do the second long split but go long and then short, making about six miles.

 

As Beefy commented on the pack departing: 'Witness: all that enthusiasm.' Despondency set in and, too shattered to accompany them, I adjourned to the pub to fret.

 

Hashers appeared. The walkers were all happy with the GM's short wander. Shorts arrived but quite a few had cut short down Fluder Hill. 

 

Warm Front had completed the six-mile-long/short combination and had no complaints. (She had done a 50 km race at the weekend so had a short run here.)

 

The food was put back as hashers were still missing. Relief as SM Ellie, Coldtits, and then Pisswell got back.

 

At 9:15 pm, Beefy was back after actually completing the full eleven-mile trail! What a hasher, and I bought him a pint. He had taken some beautiful snaps en route and had seemed to genuinely have enjoyed the trail. A crumb of comfort for me.

 

Some twenty minutes later, Man-Pig arrived, ashen-faced and still clutching the large flour container which he had carried around the eleven-mile double long. He had already laid over six miles in the afternoon so do the maths to realize that he had covered over seventeen miles. Quite remarkable and way over and above the duty of a hare.

 

I had two returning awards and would have given them to the two heroes of the evening - Man-Pig and Beefy - but decided it was not appropriate. An unhappy evening for me though I had enjoyed the adventure of laying my blunder in wonderful weather. I had chalked little messages of encouragement and warnings of dangerous road crossings along my wander.

Sorry everyone for my error which Man-Pig had alerted me to before we set off. I hope it didn't spoil the evening for some. I tried but was found wanting.

 

Being a true hasher and friend, dear Man-Pig forgave me, stating on his Strava post:

'I’ll survive.....but I’m passing on this evening’s AH3 run!'

 

The Down-Downs

iPoo'd presented the horned hat to Slip on Me for accidentally hitting her with the stars and stripes flag.

 

Strap-On gave the Jester's hat to Piddler for interminable moaning....again.

 

Wylie Coyote had a welcome DD as a visiting hasher.

 

Best Fancy dress: 3 contenders - Pisswell (Pocahontas), Coldtits (Wonderwoman/Wonderbra), Smellie (WonderWoman/Lumberjack). Loudest cheer for Coldtits but all three get a Down-Down.

 

Next week

Haytor middle car park with Hare Slip-on-Me. No on-down so bring your own food and beverage. A chance of a swim in a quarry so bring your cossy too!

 

On-On to next week. Man-Pig.