The Thatched Tavern, Maidencombe
Hidden Devon & Bluebird's "75th" birthday Hash
Run. No. 1967
HARES: Bluebird & Man-Pig
Who
wuz there: Bluebird, Man-Pig, Shitfaced, Teapot, Forrest Stump, Perry,
Wetfart, Beefy, Pisswell, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie,
Beeflicker, Slip-on-Me, Well Hopped, Roger the Dodger, Cold Tits,
Broadshit, Wet Johnny, Erection, Piddler, Satnav & Bobbiball (cycled
over from Paignton!).
Circle
A
beautiful 1st May - or Beltane - greeted 21 Hashers to The Thatched
Tavern. GM Shitfaced welcomed all in the briefest of welcomes. Over to
Hare raiser Smellie. "We're OK for Hares till mid summer". Well, that
was brief as well. Over to the Hare. Bluebird said "Man-Pig will
explain everything". Over to Man-Pig:
"It's
not very long. There is a Long/Short split. Those on the Long, wait
for me at the re-group as I will lay a live trail from there to "Hidden
Devon" - but, beware. The ropes are over 10 years old. Do not rely on
them too heavily".
Piddler asks, "How long is the Long?"
"2.64 miles", lies Bluebird.
"Is there a Walkers' trail" requests Wetfart.
"No. Just do the Longs' slowly", replies Man-Pig. "On-On is back up Steep Hill".
The Trail
This
week there were no experiments and no bad weather. Just an old
fashioned Hash with conventional marks - or an absence thereof? The
trail was really very simple. Out to Labrador Bay car park on the upper
part of the Southwest Coastal Path and a return to the pub via the
lower coastal path.
The weather was kind. The skies were blue. The bluebells were out and the views were stunning.
Being
Beltane, Beefy elected to do the trail carrying a Ram's skull which he
photographed at various backdrops along the route.
In
fact, quite a few Hashers were taking photos on trail. Spring is well
and truly here. Smellie explained that pagans consider Beltane to be a
religious holiday as it marks the beginning of growth and fertility. It
also marked the ability to get back to the pub at 9.15 without using a
torch.
As
instructed, the Longs had waited at the regroup for the last of the
Longs to arrive. These comprised Man-Pig, Beefy and Forrest Stump. The
live trail was fairly short as Man-Pig had laid a trail below Labrador
Bay car park, and then down the lower path that would eventually take
you to Shaldon.
Then,
suddenly, the Pig stopped - only to be crashed into by Beeflicker.
Almost unnoticed on the right hand side of the path is a piece of
grassless earth and a small gap in the hedge. Peering through the gap
reveals a hidden and inaccessible wooded valley.
Did
I say inaccessible? Take a harder look.....at your shoelaces. No. Not
literally. But gazing footward one could see a rope descending a steep,
worn escarpment. Yes, it was steep but just about manageable without a
rope. The rope, however, was a welcome asset - even if it was at least
10 years old!
The
Pig explained that this would be an out and back trail with no marks.
Have a look around the valley and, if you dare, there is another series
of ropes that will take you down onto the coastal stretch known as Rock
Flats.
The Pig didn't really think that anyone would attempt the dodgy descent to the Rock Flats.
Another
decidedly hazardous and near vertical descent we did was a decade ago.
On that occasion (another Bluebird birthday trail) Hatrack picked us up
in his coach from Maidencombe Cross and deposited us at The Ness car
park in Shaldon. It was low tide and the trail took us along the coast;
negotiating eight coves; clambering over the boulder fields and the
razor sharp worn sandstone rocks. That trail ended up with us ascending
several ropes from Border cove up to the lower coast path. I remember
that trail well because my Garmin recorded an average speed of 1.94
miles per hour!
Well,
I guess Hashers like a challenge. I got to the bottom of the first
descent and everyone had disappeared! Where on earth had they gone?
They'd
all made a beeline for the descent to the Rock Flats. This involved
another four ropes and, in truth, wasn't as difficult as the first
descent. After the coastal exploration, it was back up and a trip to
the "Hovel" where some industrious chappie has created a little abode
for himself.
It
is basically a dug-out but this one has a sink, a proper front door,
glass windows, recesses cut out in the wall for candles, and an attempt
has been made to render the internal walls with naturally occurring
clay. It was fantastically rustic and all rather ethereal.
Time
was pushing on and most of the Longs were already making their way
back. Last to leave the Hidden Valley were Beeflicker, Pisswell and
Man-Pig.
We
returned to Maidencombe via the lower path. This had not been marked
until it joined up with the Shorts' return trail. The light was fading
but not dangerously so. Man-Pig and Pisswell got back to the car park
at 9.15. Not quite dark and quite manageable without a torch.
All-in-all,
quite a mini adventure. Well done to Forrest for whom six roped
descents and ascents posed little impediment. But most thanks must go
to Bluebird for sharing one of south Devon's best kept secrets with the
Hash. We hope that you enjoyed it.
Down-Downs
The
original plan had been for a bamboo effigy of the Beltane Man to have
been burnt on the beach but Ziggy (our Green Man) hadn't quite finished
constructing the bamboo man so this will have to wait till next year.
As
a substitute, Bluebird had invited his shanty group Out of Tunas' to
join with him in the pub and to sing their particular style of birthday
wishes.
Forrest
Stump assumed RA'ing for the evening. The first order of service was
the Hash singing all the right notes, not necessarily in the right
order, and Bluebird was duly awarded his birthday Down-Down.
Forrest asked if there were any awards from last week? There was only one present. But there should have been two.
Piddler
had the Bacardi hat from last week and he had been on the Longs but
was not back in the pub. He had been seen backtracking the outward
Longs' trail after the visit to the Hidden Valley. We assumed that he
had simply gone home straight after the run.
The
only other award was the Hashshit shirt. Man-Pig had this from the
previous week and he was going to give it to Piddler. However, there
was a story to tell.
Today
was Bluebird's big birthday.....or was it? Bluebird had gone to great
lengths badgering Smellie to secure this date for his "Big
Birthday".....75. However, when laying the trail earlier that day,
Bluebird said to me, "Man-Pig. I've got a confession to make. I've made
a mistake. It's not my big birthday till next year!"
Whatamistakatomaka!
Accordingly,
the Pillock shirt to the Pillock who can't remember his date of birth
and another Down-Down. A song about Old MacDonald and tourettes.
Forrest
asked if there were any more awards. There were none so Bluebird got a
Down-Down for being Hare. He was now neck and neck with Smellie for
three Down-Downs in a single evening....thankfully we moved on to half
pints about 7 years ago.
The
last half pint of beer was still to be awarded. Forrest asked, "Who
saw the On Home sign two miles from the pub....and on a 2.64 mile
trail?" You guessed it. The final half of ale went to Bluebird again. A
Hash record.
All Down-Downs to the same recipient.
Forrest thanked the pub for the parking and the chips.
Bluebird,
not wishing to take advantage of the generosity of the pub, had bought
the four halves of beer - which he then downed! Hoorah!
The evening finished off with the Out of Tunas' singing a sea shanty about a girl and lost love.....we've all been there.
On
leaving the pub, Bluebird turned to me and said, "Thankyou Man-Pig.
I've had the most wonderful of days". It was touching and perhaps a
little misplaced. I think it was the Hash that had had the most
pleasant of evenings.
Enjoy your birthday my friend.
Postscript by BB
A
wonderful day and one I will fondly remember. I had Thomas Cooked the
day last year when the error was made and I had naturally added a year
in my mind.. All rather embarrassing but I'll have to stick with it as
the pub won't put up with another BIG birthday next year!
Man-Pig
and I had the very best of the weather on the lay. The hidden valley
was magical and, who knows, but we may well be returning again sooner
than you think..
Unfortunately,
I am still most unfit after being three months out with injury and it
wasn't possible for me to help MP lay the trail. I had gone out on
Sunday for a recce and got very tired carrying half a sack of cat litter
and the marks,, shades of MP the week before, got eroded by some hefty
showers.
I
did, however, help a bit on Monday afternoon by driving him out to
Labrador Bay car park, dropping him off and then driving back home to
wait for him to get back! That's what friends are for, sometimes. Yet
again, Man-Pig saved the day.
Thank
you all for coming along and making the evening. I was overjoyed to see
Bobby in the pub. He had cycled over from Paignton especially. I was
also surprised to see five of our Out of Tunas (fifteen strong at gigs)
drop by to join in the fun.
What a great day. Thank you everybody who made it so.
Not forgetting to thank MP for the bottle of Jura!
Next week
Next week's Hash is at Two Mile Oak with Hare, Only Here for the Beer.
On-On to next week.
