'TIMBER!'

TVH3 The Words for 25th November 2024

The Lord Nelson

Run No. 2051

HARE: Man-Pig

 

Who wuz there: Man-Pig, Archangel, Shitfaced, Hotlips, Zoot, Only Here for the Beer, Beefy, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Pisswell, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Ernie, Ted, Wetfart, Melon Picker, Soapy, Wet-Johnny, Judgemental, Red Rum, Smash, Miss Mash, Satnav, Threesum, Base Camp, Rise'n'Shine, Mateus Rose,, Triplejump, Wide Receiver, Bobbiball, and, for a second week in a row - Teapot plus the return of Bluebird!

 

Circle

Crikey! What a difference a week makes? I think I counted 26 or 27 in the Circle with more to arrive for a beer after the run. I think it was the prospect of chilli and crusty bread at £5/head that must have been the attraction.

 

Shitfaced was back from wherever he's been and welcomed the rather large pack to The Lord Nelson. The only announcements were:

 

1. Threesum would be in the pub afterwards with both raffle tickets and Christmas party tickets and

2. Wet-Johnny was in attendance to advise that next week's trail is from the King Bill, Totnes

So, with that, it was over to the stand-in Hare.

 

The Pig imparted that there were the usual three trails; Walkers', Shorts' and Longs' trails. I don't think that there was any mention of distances but, for the Longs, there was a warning! Two large trees have blown down on a narrow footpath in woodland. They have completely blocked the path but, with a bit of patience, you can get through (he hoped!).

 

Trail

The whole pack started off up Fluder Hill and then an arrow had them turn left and down Daccombe Mill Lane with the Walkers/Long & Shorts split at its end.

 

For the Walkers it was a fairly simple, all road, loop. They would head up Willowpark Lane and turn right at Kingskerswell Cross for the drop back into Kingskerswell via Fluder Hill.

 

The Longs and the Shorts carried straight on along the footpath that takes them up to the Bothy...and a check. Well, most carried straight on. Judgemental decided to do a bit of broken dam hopping en route. At the end of the footpath there is a check. I think Beefy checked towards Coffinswell but there was soon a call from the East. "On-On" towards the tiny hamlet of Daccombe.

 

At Daccombe we arrived at the solitary Long/Short split. The Shorts pushed on along Orestone Lane but only for Wide receiver to find a back-check. This was after Pocket Rocket had checked up the very steep Daccombe Hill to report that there were, allegedly, no marks. The FRB'ing Shorts ran back to the bottom of Daccombe Hill....marks after all! 

 

A short but painfully steep crawl up the 1 -in-4 hill brought the Shorts up to an arrow near its junction with the top of Fluder Hill. 

 

The Shorts now followed a trail that swapped from one side of the road to the other, predominantly staying in the veneer of woodland that straddles the upper reaches of Fluder Hill. Eventually they rejoined the Walkers "On-Home" trail at Kingskerswell Cross.

 

For the longs there was a sense of deja vu. For the three of them that had found last week's Long they were, once again, ascending Footland Lane. This week the Longs extended to seven hard, or should that be foolish, souls? This comprised Beefy, Beeflicker, Miss'ing (without her torch for the second week on the trot), Pisswell, Ernie, Ted, with The Pig sweeping.

 

Another back-check and we found ourselves ascending the same narrow, but steep, track up towards Barton Hill Road. Would we encounter fairy lights and another equine adventure like last week? No. Arrows lead us across Barton Hill Road and safely onto the verge down to Newton Hill. However, Ernie and Ted had to be called back for overrunning an arrow and merrily heading down Barton Hill Road.

 

All back on trail, the Longs embarked on a half mile needless loop down Newton Hill and then back up Barton Hill to its junction with Claddon Lane where the Pig was waiting. 

 

The trail now went down Claddon Lane and then right, through a kissing gate (no tongues now!) and into a large open field criss-crossed by tracks. Dots of floor were soon spotted and we eventually arrived at a check at the end of a track with a South West Water sign attached to its locked gate. Beefy had found two crosses but no third blobs of flour. Beeflicker was nowhere in sight so he was either well ahead of us or he was off trail. 

 

The Pig directed the pack up the SWW access track up to the Barton Hill reservoir and a view point. A couple of snaps later we continued past the reservoir and telemetry mast and along to an old iron kissing gate. There was no check but Ernie and Ted continued straight on while Pisswell looked at a blob of flour at the edge of a wooden kissing gate. Ernie and Ted were called back and we all commenced a descent into woodland. All was well until we ground to a halt.

"Tree!"

A big fecker too. And it had fallen along the line of the footpath blocking movement for at least 20 meters. We crunched and cracked our way through and over brittle branches from the dead tree. We crossed from one side of the trunk to the other and found ourselves back on the footpath......for another 20 metres. Another fallen tree and, just like the previous one, it had fallen along the length of the footpath. We repeated the clambering/climbing procedures rehearsed only a moment earlier and successfully traversed lignin obstacle number two. The footpath lay clearly before us now. Down some woodland steps and along the shiplap fencing to someone's garden before exiting onto Padacre Road.

There was no check but flour was soon spied as we ran down Padacre Road and then right and up Swedwell Road. No chance of any marks being left here from last week's Hash as we ran up to its summit and junction with Roccombe Close. The Pig adds a late, but helpful, arrow. The trail now takes us to the end of Roccombe Close where there is an almost unseen footpath that takes us back onto Barton Hill Road. An arrow has us cross onto the top of Fluder Hill where we rejoin the Shorts' trail. It is all downhill from here.

 

We arrive back at the On-Down at 9.02 - some 6.33 miles after we started. Just in time for a beer and some chilli.

 

Down-Downs

The temperature had dropped a little during the run so were glad to be back in a traditional pub with a nice warm open fire. We took over the lounge bar whilst four or five locals inhabited the public bar. Most Hashers were tucking into their chilli when we arrived. It all looked rather snug and convivial. This is one of Teapot's favourite On-Downs and it was great to have him back two weeks in a row. And, behold, another stranger or is it a returnee? The flightless one has come out of hibernation and is in conversation with another "two shows in two weeks" - Bobbiball. 

 

This congregation of time served Teign Valley Hashers now comprised Teapot, Wetfart, Bluebird, Bobbiball and Man-Pig. We were having a good old chinwag until Bobbiball spoilt things by stating the bloody obvious...."we must have a combined age of nearly 400!". Yes Bobbi. You are correct but this is absolutely not called for.

 

We then swiftly move onto the Down-Downs and commence by thanking the pub for:

- opening especially for us

- for putting on the scoff

- and for the Down Downs

Are there any awards from previous weeks?

Yes, but only one.

 

Base Camp has the Horned Hat. Base Camp has done the Walkers' trail. He lives 600 yards away but Threesum is working so she will be joining us later. Although it is only 600 yards, Threesum phones the pub and asks Base Camp to come and pick her up. This he duly does. He drops Threesum off at the pub and then looks for a parking space. There are none. By the time he finds a space he is parked closer to home that the pub. Accordingly, a lazy Threesum gets the first Down-Down accompanied by, "She's the meanest......"

 

Next we have a story from Wide Receiver. It is about a Hasher who knows that Daccombe Hill is very steep. This Hasher hopes that the trail continues along the comparatively flat Orestone Lane. Hence he calls, "No marks" which commits Wide Receiver to continuing along Orestone Lane....only to find a back-check. The second Down-Down goes to Pocket Rocket accompanied by, "The Grand Old Duke of York.....".

 

Shitfaced has the next story. Miss'ing is so named because she is always missing from the On-Down as she always elects to go home straight after the run. For some reason this week she is curious enough to, at least, stick her nose into the Snug.

"Oh. It's quite warm in here".

So in she comes. However, she is as good as her name as this is the second time in as many weeks that she has forgotten her torch. This is the first time in three years, that she is NOT missing from the On-Down after the trail. A thoroughly deserved Down-Down. "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy".......

There are two halves left so the Hare is called upon to dispatch one.

 

Pisswell has a story from last week which she thinks will earn Beefy the last half of ale. Somehow, in the process of giving Pocket Rocket a lift last week they'd left one of their cars in Bovey Tracey.......and forgotten all about it. They get up on Tuesday morning:

"Where's the car Beefy?"

"Outside"

"No.Look for yourself"

"Oops!"

Hence the last half goes to Beefy for forgetting where he parked the car. "A note for the horse rustler" (a reference to our wanderings around an equine estate late at night last week).

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the King William IV, Totnes. Our Hare is Wet-Johnny.

On-On to next week. MP

CHRISTMAS DRAW 2024

Our Christmas Draw is on Monday 23rd December from the Kings Arms at Kingsteignton with Zoot and Hotlips.

BACK TO THE NELLIE THIS MONDAY

 

Run #2051 Monday 25th November Circle up 7:15 pm from The Lord Nelson, Fore St, Kingskerswell, Devon TQ12 5JB with that stalwart of stalwarts, Man-Pig.

PLEASE NOTE that this is a diary change. The pub is opening especially for us and putting on a chilli with crusty bread at £5/head.

The Three Virgins and an Equine Adventure

TVH3 The Words for 19th November 2024

The Prince of Orange

Run No. 2050

HARES: Smash, Miss Mash & Satnav

 

Who wuz there: Smash, Miss Mash, Satnav, Man-Pig, Archangel, Beefy, Pisswell, Coldtits, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Ernie, Wetfart, Psycho, Wet-Johnny, Red Rum, Miss'Ing and special guest of honour - Teapot!

 

Circle

In the absence of Shitaced, Piltdown Man called "Hash Hush" for the Circle. Only one half of the Topiary Twins was present - Psycho. But she was making enough noise for both of them so Piltdown handed over RA'ing duties to her for failing to adhere to the "Hash Hush". Despite being put on the spot, she made a pretty good job of it, especially as there was only one notice.

 

The solitary notice came from Man-Pig and relates to a change of Hash for next week. Unfortunately, Poacher can no longer do next Monday's Hash. Hence the replacement Hare will be Man-Pig and the On-Down will be the Lord Nelson in Kingskerswell. Details to be confirmed on the TVH3 Facebook page.

 

So over the the Hares, all three of which have arrived by bicycle. Would we be on cycle paths for the entire trail? We would soon find out.

 

Smash explained that there was a Long, Short and a Walkers' trail. However, a combination of wind, rain and sabotage had obliterated a number of marks and the first Long/Short split was:

"Up the road and on the left".

 

Trail

So off we trotted, crossing Barton Hill Road to the chip shop and then heading uphill. Sure enough, 200 yards later we come to the L/S split. The Shorts were to carry on up Barton Hill Road whilst the Longs descended on a track that I never knew existed. This was virgin territory for me and I must have run past this track dozens of times, always assuming that it was a private track. The track is aptly named, Bottom Park Lane. It is long and steep, descending onto Kingsley Avenue.

 

The Shorts (Miss'Ing and Red Rum) meanwhile carried on up Barton Hill Road to the triangle junction between Barton Hill Road and Kingskerswell Road. Here I am assuming that they arrived at the Walkers'/Shorts' split; the Shorts commencing the fantastically steep descent down Daccombe Hill whilst my guess is that the Walkers (Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Wetfart and Pocket Rocket - I'm not sure which trail Arkangel was on!!!) would have carried on up Barton Hill Road before veering right and along Great Hill Road. The next time that we saw the Walkers was back at the bar of the Prince of Orange.

 

Back on the Longs (Psycho, Beefy, Wet Johnny, Man-Pig, Ernie & Pisswell) Psycho picked up the trail heading south down Kingsley Avenue and then climbing up Leeward Lane. I hadn't seen a mark since the L/S split and simply followed the FRB's hoping/assuming that they were on trail.

 

Near the top of Leeward Lane, we ground to a halt and started back checking - including a footpath that wound its way down and onto Windward Road. Below me I could hear Ernie. "On On. There's a check here". The FRB's were a bit spread out but all converged on Ernie and Pisswell who were already on Windward Road. Amazing. Ernie had found another bit of "dust". We were now arcing around and onto Lindisfarne Way. However, before we got there Pisswell spied another mark and we now entered a large play park with swings and seesaws etc. At the other end of the play park, we came out at the bottom of Cassiobury Way where Smash was waiting for us on her bike.

 

We were encouraged to continue along Browns Bridge Road. Opposite Nightingale Close, there is a public footpath that takes one up to Barton Hall. One of the FRB's must have spied a mark or two as the FRB's ascended up and past Barton Hall and onto Kingskerswell Road where we found a large and intact flour arrow, "Hoorah". In front of me were Psycho, Beefy and Wet Johnny. Behind me, and not to be seen again till the pub, were Ernie and Pisswell.

 

Beefy assumes that he is on trail and takes us down Orestone Lane but marks were decidedly absent. When we came to the junction with Daccombe Hill, Wet Johnny checked uphill but came back empty handed. Psycho checked out a farm track and also came back with little in the way of guidance. Hence, we carried on into Daccombe. Hallejula! At the bottom of Footland Lane was another arrow pointing uphill. Half way along Footland Lane we saw torchlight. It was the almost solitary Shorts - just Miss'Ing and Red Rum.

 

We just happened to be at the bottom of a track that leads up to Ridge Road which is a fast and dangerous road for joggers as there is no footpath and not much in the way of verges. However, there is a verge at the top of this track that would allow a relatively safe crossing at Roccombe Cross and onto either Newton Hill or Honey Lane which are on the other side of Ridge Road. Despite the absence of marks, we agreed to the Pig's suggestion and climbed the track. Then, just before Ridge Road, an apparition - fairy lights. They weren't here when I ran up here on Sunday the Pig thought. I then looked at my feet and I was standing on an arrow pointing through an open gate. Ahead of us another open gate and another set of fairy lights. We were back on trail but on private ground.

 

We followed the fairy lights along a track, diagonally across a field and then along a broad track. After 300 yards we arrived at an illuminated stabling block. It was the drink stop and what a fantastic drink stop it was. We were surrounded by 4 stabled horses and a collapsible picnic table adorned with Pimms, Martini, orange juice, water and an array of savoury nibbles and sweets. It was all really rather relaxing being surrounded by the horses. The only thing missing was the rest of the pack! Regrettably, they never made it so they missed a great drink stop.

 

Poor Smash had various phone calls coming in and going out about Hashers lost on trail....or off trail. For the Longs, the most expedient way back would be to deviate from the planned trail as the marks would Shirley be washed away by now. The Pig said that he knew exactly where we were and that he would lead the pack back to the pub.

 

We backtracked over the private land from whence we came only be be barked at. Not by a dog but by the land owner.

"What are you doing. Why are all these gates open?"

We explained that we were merely following the trail of fairy lights. The land owner could see that we didn't really fit the description of your traditional horse thief and waved us on our way.

 

Back on the public footpath, we crossed Ridge Road and then ran on the verge down to Honey Lane. We then proceeded down Honey Lane and started finding blobs of flour to our right. We were back on trail.....sort of. At the junction of Honey Lane with Great Hill Road we came across an arrow and a "W" but it was pointing towards us. It looked as though we were now running the Walkers' trail but in reverse. The Pig assured us that he knew where he was going and took the pack onto a small footpath that links Great Hill Road with Roccombe Close.

 

"Aloha". Another arrow, but this time pointing down Swedwell Road. We were back on trail and the marks seemed relatively intact. The trail now took us down Swedwell Road and then right and up Jacks Lane and onto Barton Hill Road opposite the first L/S split. In next to no time we were back at the On-Down.

 

Down-Downs

I don't know. Was it the weather, the location or a new "On-Down" that had reduced this week's numbers to less than half of previous hashes? It made no difference. Those that did turn up thoroughly enjoyed the trail. In fact, the absence of marks (through no fault of the Hares) made it all the more interesting. Plenty of virgin territory to boot which is a rare thing in this neck of the woods, so well done Hares. Particularly, young Miss Mash on her virgin lay.

 

A postmortem of the "missing marks" revealed that most of the marks that were on road were not missing at all, especially around the Daccombe area. The strong winds and relatively light rain had combined for an awful lot of leaf fall throughout the afternoon and early evening. These were mainly hazel leaves and they had simply covered a lot of the marks. It also highlighted the fact that different species of deciduous trees lose their leaves at different times throughout the autumn. The chestnut trees in my neighbour's garden have already dropped all of their leaves, the sycamores and hazels still retain about half their leaves and the ash tree hedge will lose its leaves very slowly throughout the autumn/winter period. I seem to spend the entire winter sweeping these up well after every other species of tree has lost all of their leaves.

 

On entering the pub an unexpected but wonderful surprise.; Teapot was sat at the bar with Wetfart. Teapot was smiling away and it was great to have him back. A shame that Psycho had to rush off as Teapot would have liked to have had a catch up with his occupational health specialist.

 

We started by thanking the pub for having us and making us welcome. So welcome, in fact, that a couple of hashers had popped over the road for fish 'n' chips and brought them into the pub.

 

Smash hadn't prearranged Down-Downs with the pub and we thought it a bit rude to ask a virgin "On-Down" for free beer on our first visit. That would have been a little presumptuous. So, Smash kindly arranged for three halves of Doombar and two glasses of water. Now, whom to award said victuals?

There is only one award present. It is the Jester's Hat which Pisswell has from last week. This she awards to Satnav for a temper tantrum in throwing her bike to the ground just before the Circle (I think you'll find that it blew over in the wind....twice, along with Small & Miss Mash's bikes). A note for the "Bike Smasher" who is not driving and elects to have a beer for a change.

 

No more awards so are there any stories? Silence.

Hence the three Hares, or is it the three virgins, are called up for their Down-Downs. Three virgins? Yes indeedy:

1. Virgin territory

2. Virgin On-Down

3. Virgin lay by Miss Mash

The RA did ask Smash and Satnav if it was also their virgin lays? No. Satnav assures us that she last laid a TVH trail 14 years ago! Crikey, that's worse than Smellie!

 

The remaining two waters and a beer are despatched by the trio of Hares to a chorus of "Here's to the virgins".

 

The last beer. There must be a story. And so there is. A hasher is mentioned as being afraid of the dark - the recipient is Ernie. However, the story needs a little more elaboration. Ernie actually told Pisswell that he was scared of being in the dark with her!!

 

Well, we all got back safely on what turned out to be a very interesting trail. I am sure that hashers can smell free booze a mile off....marks or no marks. I think the Walkers will simply need to refine their olfactory glands when seeking out the drink stop....no need for marks at all!

 

Next week

A change of venue for next week's Hash. This will now be from the Lord Nelson in Kingskerswell. Our Hare for the evening will be Man-Pig.

On-On to next week. MP

PRINCE OF ORANGE

Run #2050 Monday 18th November Circle up 7:15 pm from The Prince of Orange 157 Barton Hill Road, Torquay, TQ2 8HN with Smash, MisMash and Satnav.

No food in the pub but there's a fine chippy (Paul's Plaice) and Chinese takeaway (Wok's Cook-in) across the road at Barton shops.

 

 

TVH3 The Words for 9th November 2024

Highweek Inn, Newton Abbot

Run No. 2049 Remembrance Day Hash

 

HARES: Ablesemen & Poacher

 

Who wuz there: Ablesemen, Poacher, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Archangel, Beeflicker, Beefy, Pisswell, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie Ernie, Ted, Coldtits, Satnav, Wetfart, Smash, Psycho, Warmfront, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Roger-the-Dodger, Wet-Johnny, Erection, Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Threesum, Base Camp, Cheerio Beerio, Triple Jump, Red Rum, Graham, Only Here for the Beer, Dog End, Popeye and family and virgin Stuart brought by Coldtits and returnees, Ollie and Triple Jump - welcome back.

 

Circle

Shitfaced welcomed the huge pack of 40 to the Highweek Inn, 37 of which I think were runners.

"What number run is it Man-Pig?".

Silence, as The Pig has yet to arrive.

There were quite a few announcements.

Beeflicker is in need of a Santa Claus and some elves for his charity's grotto. Volunteers, please see Beeflicker.

Beefy advises that the next Devon Lunatics Hash is this coming Friday; 7.30 from the Star at Liverton.

Both Psycho and Wetfart provide us with an update on Teapot. Essentially, slow progress but in the right direction. Teapot is hoping to join us at an On-Down in the near future. It will be good to see him again.

 

There is a message from Fukarewe apologising for his recent absences. He has a peculiar work commitment which commits him to remaining on ferries between Harwich and the Hook of Holland 24 hours a day for 5 days a week. He hopes that this particular assignment will be complete by Christmas.....just one last rat to catch. Perhaps a return to old technology might be the answer.......get a Ship's cat!

 

Eventually, it is over to the Hare.

 

Ablesemen welcomes all and clarifies that Haldon Hash have now abandoned the plan of setting their Hash from the Highweek Inn. They have now relocated to Kingsteignton. Hence no overlapping trails to confuse the easily confused. Poacher adds that he has no idea as to distance but there is livestock in most of the fields, so "Dogs on leads please".

 

"Livestock in fields? On a trail from Highweek? Where on earth are we going?"

 

Being Remembrance Day, Ablesemen asked if we would all join in a minute's silence to remember all those who have served their country and especially those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our tomorrows. For the next 60 seconds we were lost in our own thoughts and the thankful reflection that, within our lifetimes, the world has been a relatively peaceful place. The 60 seconds conclude with a simple, "Thankyou", from Able.

 

We were getting chilly on a clear night so it was onto the first check at the edge of the car park.

 

Trail

We checked this way and that, eventually picking up the trail leading down Ringslade Road and then we ground to a halt.....somewhat perplexed. There was an undecipherable mark on the grass. It looked strangely like a fish hook but the Hares hadn't mentioned fish hooks in the Circle. Warmfront didn't even know what a fish hook was. Beneath the fish hook (if it was a fish hook) should have been a number. Instead we had a dodgy smattering of flour. We stayed there scratching our heads until Poacher arrived and deciphered the hieroglyphics.

 

"First 9 of you here, go back to the Hare". And so the hapless nine FRB's cantered back to Ablesemen who was someway back.

 

About turn and back down to the new roundabout on the Bovey Road. Head scratching metamorphosed into navel gazing as we encountered a check. The trail now took us up towards Forches Cross. The FRB's had missed an arrow crossing the road and Poacher had to call them back. 

 

The trail now took us down Greycoat Lane and the Walkers split at the T-junction near Twelve Oaks caravan and camp site. The Walkers headed right and towards the Old Exeter Road. For the Longs and the Shorts it was left, past Twelve Oaks Farm and onto Teigngrace and a back check.

 

At this point the Pig was, surprisingly, an FRB along with Beefy and Wet Johnny. But where were Beeflicker and the Topiary Twins? It didn't take long for Psycho and Warmfront to catch up. The back check now had us going down the gravel driveway that takes us to Locksbridge where road, canal and railway converge.

 

Across the railway line and, behold, the one and only Long/Short split. A very fast Pocket Rocket is first to take the Short. I wish I'd followed. For the Longs, Man-Pig, Beefy, Wet-Johnny, Pisswell, Warmfront, Psycho, Ernie, Ted, Big End and Well Hopped it was left and up the Templer Way on the banks of the Stover Canal. At Ventiford Bridge a single mark had us bear right and into fields.

 

We were now following the southern bank of the Teign downstream. Marks we few and far between but Beefy found the trail marked over a wooden footbridge where we ground to a halt. 

 

We were sure that the trail would have taken us east on the northern bank of the Teign. However, we were faced with a gate, no discernible footpath and a steep mound to our left that we didn't recognise. Big End checked over the gate but found nothing. Beefy checked upstream and found marks but these were clearly going to take us in the wrong direction. It appeared that we should have forded the river a little way upstream and approached the bridge from the other side. Indeed, looking at the OS map, I can now see that we were not on the bridge that we had thought we were on. That was another 600 yards downstream. We were on a bridge near Mortimer's farm and I'm not sure that I've ever been on this one before.

 

The trail was now a simple "follow the banks of the Teign" down to where it passes under the Old Exeter Road. This is a long old hike and the FRB's were beginning to get a bit stretched out. However, it was a clear night and it was nice to see the torchlight of the FRB's now some 400 yards ahead of the trailing Longs.

 

At the Old Exeter Road I was convinced that it would be up to the A382 and straight across and "On Home" up Whitehill Road. Pete Tong. I had merrily carried on over the bridge when a voice behind me called "On back". Some mistaka - Shirley? No it wasn't Shirley and it wasn't a mistake. The trail crossed the road and was now following the redundant railway line along the western bank of the Stover Canal. We were heading back towards Newton Abbot. A quick GPS check with Ernie revealed 4.75 miles so far. This was going to be a six miler and the pub kitchen wanted us back for scoff by 8.45 - no chance.

 

Sure enough, the marks took us up and onto the roundabout at the end of Jetty Marsh Road near Newton Abbot Hospital. Then it was up towards Coombeshead School roundabout and across the Bovey Road. An arrow had us bear right and the climb upto the public footpath that would take us up to Highweek Church. Here we caught up with Ablesemen and Strap Dancer, then Ollie, Roger-the-Dodger, Strap-On and Poacher, eventually catching up with Big End and Well Hopped just past the Church.

 

It was a good old canter. I was going to enjoy my well earned pint; 6.3 miles on our first crisp evening of the autumn.

 

Down-Downs

The RA commences by thanking the Hash for the beer.....or lager as it turned out.

 

What did we think of the trail? Very good. So good that the Hares may even get a Down-Down this evening. First, let's see who has remembered to bring an Award and who has any stories, authentic or otherwise.

 

Warmfront was amongst about half a dozen or so people who had the Jester's Hat on their head at some stage during last week's firework Hash. This she awards to Pisswell for unladylike language on trail.

"I'm going to catch that Wet Johnny. Hunt him down and rub his face in the mud". Oooooerrrrr, missus. The RA was trying to think of the name of the Greek Godess of Hunting. Beefy came to his assistance with Diana. Accordingly, a note for "Diana".

 

Shitfaced has the Horned Hat and has a story about a Hasher discussing first dates and what they might do to woo the heart of another. Now, buying one's new beau a plug doesn't immediately spring to mind. There then followed a rendition of the Two-Ronnies' hardware store sketch:

"Plugs. Do you have any plugs?"

"Yes. Rawlplugs. Solid or hollow core door?"

"No".

"Concrete or masonry?"

"No. No. No."

"Oh. Bath plugs! 1 1/2 inch or 1 3/4 inch?'

"No!"

"Aha. Plugs! Square pin or round pin?

Again, despondently, "No".

"13 amp or 5 amp?"

Exasperated, "BUTT PLUGS. BUTT PLUGS!!!"

Without a change of expression or tempo:

"Latex or rubber?"

A note for "The butt plug charmer".

 

No more awards but Poacher has a simple story. This is about a Hasher who has left the lights on in his car but insists he hasn't. The guilty party is Beeflicker but he can't drink because he is driving. It is suggested that Poacher nominate last week's hangover merchant, Psyco. Psycho is so nominated.

In a return to tradition, Ablesemen and Poacher as Hare and Co-Hare are awarded the last two drinks,: Poacher's to the accompaniment of "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy".

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from a new venue for Teign Valley. We are running from the Prince of Orange, 180 Barton Hill Road, Torquay TQ2 8HN. Our Hares are Smash and MissMash.

 

On-On to next week. MP

HIGHWEEK INN

 Run #2049 Monday 11th November 7:15 pm Circle up from the Highweek Inn, Highweek, Newton Abbot TQ12 1QA with Poacher and Able Semen. Land Ho! hash are also there but apparently there are separate trails.