THE TRAIN OF LIGHTS

 

TVH The Words for Monday 16th December

From The Railway Inn, Churston

Run #2054

Scribe: Pisswell

 

The train of lights Tickets please for: Georgie Porgie, Piltdown man, ManPig, Shitfaced, Miss Mash, Smash, Judgemental, Pocket Rocket, Beeflicker, Beefy, Pisswell, Satnav, Soapy, Melon Picker, Red Rum, Palmolive, Only here for the beer, Threesum and Cheerio Beerio ( circle only), Well hopped, Psyco, Warmfront, Smellie, Able Seaman, Strap on, Coldtits.

 

The circle: The GM welcomed everyone to hash no 2054 at The Railway Inn.

 

Announcements: Beeflicker announced that Mortica from South Hams hash had passed away recently. Threesum reminded that she was selling tickets for the Christmas draw next week The hare Pisswell, ( writing this) reminded people to book their scoff themselves from the pub. She was impressed at the lights people had dressed up in but forgot to say! She meant to offer a quick shower to anyone that wanted one as she was again wearing her shower curtain, cleverly disguised this time as the train of lights! (so no it wasn’t a bridal veil, but it did make Beefy run away much quicker than usual!).

 

Pisswell offered a 2m+ walkers and a nearly 5m long with something in between for the shorts. Having encountered some more interesting hashes in Vermont, USA, she was keen to share her experiences, so there would be several regroups and Christmas silliness along the way, not to be missed! She then drew examples on the tarmac to confuse hashers. “Please cooperate for fear of missing the tricky train timings or fear of whipping as per Valentines hash!” The trains come each hour at about 10 to 15 mins past the hour so early birds would have seen the first train of lights at the station, and she was hoping all would see the second at some point. She said that the trail was like a train track and might run both ways and that she had found “ foreign “ hash marks, also that her marks had been kicked out already by helpful ants!

 

The trail: the runaway train nursery rhyme The train of lights

 

The runaway train came up from Paignton and she blew, she blew

Fancy dress trains hung down hasher’s backs and lights too, lights too

The full hashing pack looked down the track,

On on they bayed and the train whistled back

As they do, do, do, do, do.

The train of lights was a hash treat and they knew, they knew

American checks would regroup the pack as they do, they do.

The station was near but the ride was too dear,

Missing the train was the hares greatest fear,

As we knew, knew, knew, knew, knew.

All could have played golf if they wanted to at Churston, Churston

But to regroup the pack, they had to play games and have fun, have fun!

They hugged by moonlight, played by Fairylight Dancing, then singing well into the night

So Well done, done, done, done, done

The longs went on down to Elberry cove to the sea, the sea

They puffed round the track, finding the trail laid by me, by me!

The others were shorter, but went by the water

Ending at Broadsands, where we could then loiter.

And see the moon above the sea.

We stopped in our tracks on the way back for mulled wine, mulled wine

Mince pies, no cream, watching for steam, for a sign, a sign.

The view we would learn was the train on return

Didn’t quite work but mince pies were well earned

A great time, time, time, time, time.

We regrouped the pack to the Railway Inn for On Downs,on downs

All were on home, stragglers were found, they were found, they’re found.

We drank down the beer, still in festive gear

Have a great Christmas and Happy New Year.

 

Cheers to all at the On down

 

Out takes: The first regroup check was a GH (group hug), but incorporating a long GG ( group game) of NOT duck, duck, goose, but sun, sun, moon! The moon was shining brightly from some of those hash bums Monday night! But the more modest sang or told a joke. Unfortunately, I think Haldon were playing games with us too as all but the walkers seemed to have gone the wrong way and Beefy, Beeflicker and Coldtits didn’t even turn up to the groupies!

 

The next regroup was a GD (group dance) so the plan was a grand chain made of hashers swinging arms around the circle and singing along to Cotton eyed Joe. That was the plan, but at that point, the train arrived and hopefully some people did manage to see it!

 

The last regroup was a homemade mince pies and mulled wine stop at the cafe at Broadsands, served by the brilliant Annie, who had met the 2 Beefs earlier. whilst they did the route backwards, or with Haldon, not sure which! There was little time as the pub was waiting and we were well behind. So the GS (group sing)), was done as quickly as possible, using Soapy's adapted 12 days of Christmas, ( many thanks, Soapy).

 

Pisswell decided to save time as Shitfaced was sending her “ Hurry up” messages and she was replying with short sweet replies! The 12 days of Christmas therefore started with 12 and people sang prolonged numbers whilst they waited for her to turn the page!

 

The return home was along the seafront for those who wanted to and then up the road, under the viaduct, and then led some again through the golf course. The Beefers again ignored Instructuctions, choosing Haldon above Teign valley!

 

The Down Downs : The landlord was thanked for the venue. Thanks to the hash for the beer.

Warmfront had the hashit shit and nominated a choice of Strap on or Satnav for their “mooning”. As Satnav refused a repeat performance and the pub probably never would have had us again, a quick assessment gave the award to Satnav.

 

Next up was Beefy and Pisswell. I’m not sure why we got it! Beefy had the jesters hat for a great Haldon hash I think, and Pisswell for making nearly everyone miss the train! So the only train they saw was the train of lights she was wearing! Sorry, not my best trail but such fun!

 

Next Pocket Rocket gave ManPig a down down for using his nerd name. This was Manpig’s third award in a row from Pocket Rocket. Funnily enough, Pocket Rocket also co hared Haldons run, so it was obviously him that messed it all up! Lastly, Well Hopped had a down down for Shitfaced’s dog sitting service. She nipped to the loo for just 15 mins, fitting in a quick look at the train, downed a quick pint and had done her Christmas shopping!

 

Next week is from the Kings arms at Kingsteignton and of course the Christmas draw. No trains to catch, no group games, no more draws to buy, no Haldon, yaaaaaaaay!

 

On on to next week!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CibqOPMw9e0

Railway Inn at Churston

Run #2054 Monday16th December Circle up 7:15 pm from the Railway Inn, Dartmouth Road, Churston TQ5 0LL with Pisswell for the Train of Light extravaganza. Fancy Dress a must - wear something 'illuminating', fluorescent, bright, wacky... just do your thing - whatever it might be! 

 

TVH3 The Words for 9th December 2024

The Smugglers' Inn, Dawlish

Run No. 2053 - "Poacher's 1000th lay!"

HARES: Poacher & U-Bend

Who wuz there: Poacher, U-Bend, Man-Pig, Shitfaced, Beefy, Pisswell, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Wet-Johnny, Warmfront, Psycho, Red Rum, Only Here for the Beer, Melon Picker, Soapy, Roger-the-Dodger, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Polyfella, Coldtits, Ablesemen and Wetfart

Circle

It was quite an eventual weekend. Storm Darragh whipped up the wind for four days. We had the Christmas party which I think we can say was a complete success with some fantastic "At the Movies" fancy dresses - even if Man-Pig and Piltdown Man can't tell the difference between a horse and a dinosaur.

On the drive over, we noticed that some Hashers had started the trail early. Beefy and Polyfella had elected to run to Hash whilst Warmfront had decided to attend by bicycle.

Shitfaced welcomed intrepid Hashers and about the only notice was that raffle tickets would be on sale in the pub after the run.

Over to the Hares. U-Bend said that he had laid the trail but that Poacher had done a little bit. I think he meant that Poacher had done the Long. There was some muttering about the Long only being four miles and with that we were heading down the A379 towards Holcombe dip.

Trail

We hadn't gone far before we arrived at the first check at Windward Lane - an ideal opportunity to divert onto the Southwest Coastal Path...but no. Poacher called On-On down the dip as ace checker, Beefy, falls at the first hurdle and checks out the coastal path.

In almost no time at all we arrive at the second check at the junction of Holcombe Drive and Smugglers' Lane. In true Hash fashion we all grind to a halt waiting on someone to start the checking. Beefy checks down Smugglers' Lane as Poacher now points us across the A379 and down Fordens' Lane.

At the junction of Fordens' Lane and Holcombe Road another check. This time Polyfella checks up a track whereupon a friendly local advises him that it's a dead end with no public right of way.

Back to the check - now kicked out west and up Holcombe Road and then down Holcombe Road and back onto the A379. I think that this is where the Walkers did a U-turn and followed the main road back to the pub.

For the Longs and the Shorts it was continue towards Teignmouth and then grind to a halt whilst Hashers simply wandered about aimlessly. I think it was Wet-Johnny or perhaps Psycho who called it "On" and up New Road.

Another check and we are now on Higher Woodway Road until the FRB's came to a cross. Poacher was grinning behind us as a newly marked arrow had both the Longs and the Shorts on a loop around Higher Holcombe Road and back onto Higher Woodway Road.

At its highest point, we come to a check which is kicked out down a track that the Longs usually run up when we are in Teignmouth.

We catch up with Beeflicker and then Beefy, Beeflicker, Polyfella, Wet-Johnny and the Topiary Twins hightail it downhill to a junction at bisecting tracks. No check this time - just an arrow pointing directly ahead. Pisswell and the Pig are at the back of the Longs but the FRB's torchlight is just within view as we traverse the edge of two windswept fields with knarly oak trees forming their southern border.

We catch up with U-Bend and Coldtitsd sweeping the Shorts at the second Long/Short split. The marks had been excellent all trail so I was a little surprised to hear Coldtits ask U-Bend, "Are you sure you know where you are?"

The Shorts now have a relatively direct route back to the pub. For the Longs, we are back on Holcombe Road but now heading north and downhill towards Westbrooke Farm. It's been a while since TVH were last down here. At Westbrook Farm, the road changes its name to Oak Hill Cross Road and it is a steep uphill climb until we come across Poacher....again. This time he is directing us down the footpath along the edge of Oaklands Wood which we ran down on Soapy and Palmolive's Halloween trail. We finish by running down Bunting Close and South Downs Road and the "On Home" almost opposite the pub.

A brisk and well marked trail......and so it should be. You've been practicing for 999 trails!

Down-Downs

We start by thanking the pub for having us. Despite no food allegedly being on offer, some of the Walkers were back in time to grab some cheesy chips.

So what did we think of the trail and which hare deserves a Down-Down? I am reminded that this is Poacher's 1000th trail so he obviously gets the Down-Down....or does he? His co-Hare, U-Bend has just paid for the Down-Downs and he's got 4 halves of beer. No cider and Poacher only drinks cider so he has no qualms in instantly nominating U-Bend to have the ale on his behalf. This is dispatched pretty quickly.

U-Bend remains front and centre as he has the Hashshit shirt. He also has a large van and a large heart. This is amply demonstrated when a damsel in distress asks if she and her bicycle can have a lift back to Newton Abbot, He is only too pleased to accommodate her. Now, I had assumed that Warmfront was in Grizzly training mode having ridden to the pub from Chudleigh. Obviously not. Hence a note for "Lazy bones".

Pocket Rocket has the Jester's hat. Regettably, the Pig has had a minor trip for the second week in a row. Even more regrettably, Pocket Rocket has clocked it. "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy" and, in the blink of an eye, the ale disappears.

Shitfaced has the Horned hat and a story of misfortune. Storm Darragh was a tad windy over the weekend. There were quite a few trees down. Most regrettably, one of those trees fell through Only Here for the Beer's timber framed house. A note for the "Homeless one" followed by a plea for anyone with some spare wood glue.

Coldtits was then called out for being a doubting Thomas. Namely, asking the Hare if he knew where he was? A note for the doubting one.

All the beers have gone. There remains only a solitary half pint of water so are there any stories?

On the way to the Hash several Hash drivers and their passengers noticed two Hashers on a mission to save the planet and minimise their carbon footprint. How? By running to the Hash. One of them was recognisable by his gait, Polyfella. The other was more easily recognisable by having had his name printed on the back of his shirt in Scotchlite reflective print.....Beefy. So, whom to award the water? Given Beefy's new business enterprise; namely the manufacture of portable showers, it only seemed natural that he should get the water....if only to ensure that the shower doesn't have any leaks. "Here's to the shower manufacturer".

Finally, huge congratulations to Poacher on achieving 1000 lays across multiple Hashes over the past 20+ years. Quite a feat, or should I say feet!

Next week

Next week's Hash is from The Railway Inn, Churston. Our Hare is Pisswell and there is a fancy dress theme - the train of light.....wear something illuminating!

On-On to next week. MP

SMUGGLERS INN

 Run #2053 Monday 9th December Circle up 7:15 pm from the Smugglers Inn, 27 Teignmouth Rd, Dawlish EX7 0LA with U Bend.

"Brrrrrrr"

TVH3 The Words for 2nd December 2024

The King William IV, Totnes

Run No. 2052

HARE: Wet-Johnny

Who wuz there: Wet-Johnny, Man-Pig, Hotlips, Zoot, Beefy, Pisswell, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Ernie, Ted, Melon Picker, Soapy, Ablesemen, Judgemental, Smash, Miss Mash, Satnav, Slip-on-Me, Rise'n'Shine, Mateus Rose, Twiggy, U-Bend and returnee Total Recoil

Circle

On the drive over the outside temperature dropped to 4 degrees. Brrrrrr. It was going to be a cold one. In the absence of Shitfaced, U-Bend assumed the role of GM. Are there any announcements?

There was a reminder from Piltdown about this weekend's TVH3 Christmas party at Teignmouth Rugby Club. "Meet at Weterspoons, Teignmouth from 6pm onwards....in fancy dress".

Man-Pig had a brief announcement regarding Broken Man. The Pig had attended South Hams Hash pre-Christmas Bash at Grenville House, Brixham, but only to do the Saturday afternoon run. He was pleased to report that Broken Man was there and was helping out at the refreshment stops. Broken Man told the Pig how much he'd enjoyed his road trip down to Spain during the summer. Additionally, how he was so much looking forward to having his grandchildren come down for Christmas. Basically, as good as could be expected, and we all wish Broken Man and family a lovely Christmas.

Finally, the Hare imparted some misinformation/fake news.

"The Walkers' trail is about 2.5 miles; the Shorts' about 4 and the Longs' about 5 to 5.5. There are two Long/Short splits."

Trail

The whole pack started by running down Fore Street and across Albert Bridge. The Walkers were directed down and onto the banks of the Dart where they would follow the riverside footpath upstream to Weirfields. The Longs and the Shorts carried straight on and to an arrow that took them right and onto Pathfields. Overtaking Soapy and Judgemental before another arrow, had us bear right and along Steamer Quay Road; "The marshes" I thought.

Another arrow and another bear right across Steamer Quay car park and onto the footpath next to the river - heading downstream. I pass Pisswell but there is torchlight ahead as another arrow has us divert inland and across a smaller car park and back onto a tarmac footpath. Up until this point the marks were excellent but now there were none. Was I wrong to commit to the marshes? Yes.

Backtracking, Total Recoil was the first to find marks near the bottom of Sparkhays Drive. We commenced the steep zigzag climb up the newish (10 years old) footpath that lead us up to Home Reach Avenue. Looking behind us, we could see the parade of torches zigzagging and following us up from the Dart. At the junction of Home Reach Avenue and Weston Lane, Man-Pig, Total Recoil and Judgemental arrived at the first Long/Short split. We all went Long.

For the Shorts, it was a left turn and a descent down Weston Lane and Seymour Place and then back onto Bridgetown Road near the Albert Inn.

Unsurprisingly, Beefy and Beeflcker were ahead of us and Pocket Rocker wasn't far behind us. The trail now climbed past Weston House and up to the highest part of Bridgetown where a check had been kicked out along Blackpost Lane. It was getting decidedly windy and a tad chilly up here. Fortunately, we soon came to another check kicked out towards Dukes Road.

At the first junction, the trail took us down Courtfields but Beefy and Beeflicker had to be called back as they had embarked on an excursion to the lower reaches of Dukes Road. This allowed Pocket Rocket to catch up.

We were in a housing estate now and out of the wind. Courtfield is a cul-de-sac...well it is for cars but not for Hashers.

Marks now had us on a footpath that was a mixture of flat and steps that followed a brook all the way down to Weston Lane where we rejoined the Shorts' trail.

We now headed up to the bottom of Bridgetown Hill and followed marks around and over Brutus Bridge where we rejoined the Walkers' trail on the banks of the Dart.

Beefy, Beeflicker, Judgmental, Total Recoil and Pocket Rocket had stolen a lead but were still within earshot as we left the banks of the Dart and headed up Weirfields next to the Kevics playing fields. Pocket Rocket had slowed down and I eventually catch up with Total Recoil and Judgmental as we cross the A385 and start heading up the Western Bypass.

About 100 yards distant, we see a loiterer in a hi-vi jacket. Could it be a Hasher? Yes. It is wet-Johnny who is now the one-man-sweetie-stop. It is also the second Long/Short split. A couple of fizzy-chewy things later we are presented with a choice.

"Shorts straight across and onto Malt Mill and Castle Street. Alternatively, Longs is On up the hill", all said with a glint in his eye.

I am getting thirsty and the Short is tempting but Wet-Johnny is bound to have us turn left at Cistern Street or, possibly, carry on up to Kingsbridge Hill before turning left. Total Recoil is left to run up the Western Bypass whilst Man-Pig and Judgemental adopt a slothful walk. We see Total Recoil's torchlit shadow pass Cistern Street. Bugger. It's left at Kingsbridge Hill. Total Recoil is far distant now but we are sure that he's pushed on past Kingsbridge Hill turning. Double bugger. He's not going up to the toll house....is he?

Oh yes he is.

Bugger, Bugger. Bugger. It's going to be Fishchowter's Lane. Wait till I get my hands on Wet-Johnny.

And so it transpires that Judgemental and I catch up with Total Recoil on Fishchowter's Lane which, by day, is a beautiful track. We follow the track back down and onto Maudlin Road, Leechwell Street and cross The Lamb for the final descent down High street and back to the pub.

Total Recoil elects not to come to the pub as he has two jacket potatoes in the oven. Judgmental starts doing some warming-down exercises outside the pub as he now has to wait for Pocket Rocket. I go back to the car park where the first person that I see is Pocket Rocket.

"Judgmental is waiting for you outside the pub".

"Oh. I am waiting for Judgmental by his car"....and so you are. I wonder who is waiting on whom here.

Down-Downs

Back in the pub most Hashers have finished their Hash scoff so it is not long before we commence the Down-Downs. Man-Pig is the only RA present. We will all be glad when Forrest finishes his pantomime rehearsals for a change of RA.

Anyway, Rob the landlord has come up trumps again and put on a Hash menu in addition to providing the Down-Downs so we start by giving a big "Thankyou to the pub".

Are there any awards? The Pig is looking directly at U-Bend.

"Hashshit shirt?"

"Oh. It may be in the van".

Too late to get it so the only award present is the Jester's Hat. By rights it should be in Wetfart's hands but he couldn't make it so the Pig must find a worthy recipient - guilty or not.

The Pig describes the mix up in meeting points between Pocket Rocket and Judgmental. Pocket Rocket is at Judgmental's car but with no car keys. Judgemental has the keys but he has no passenger present with him outside the pub....as agreed. Accordingly, Pocket Rocket gets the Hat and a round of, "Hold it in you hand Mrs Murphy".

No awards left so onto stories; possibly true but often probably not.

Melonpicker has a story about a would be alcoholic but who is, in fact, a coke addict. He feeds his habit by stealing. Most recently under the guise of pretending to eat. Whilst sitting nicely he chomps through his chips and chilli. He looks straight ahead, continues munching, and deftly moves his right had towards a glass. His skill is in not switching his gaze. He locks his claw around the glass and brings it upto his lips. "Ah. That rush of coke. Coke? I bought a beer!" Meanwhile, Melonpicker is scouring the table looking for where he'd left his pint of coke, 50% of which now resides in Judgemental's tummy!

A Down-Down for Judgemental accompanied by, "Here's to the coke addict...."

Pocket Rocket has a story. It is about the folly associated with failing to pay attention to roadsigns. The Longs are running down a steepish hill. There are warning signs for traffic calming measures in the form of road humps. The next thing is a not unreasonable and impromptu attempt at the triple jump by the FRB. He hops, slips and jumps his way down the road after snagging a road hump. Our Olympian triple jump finalist? Man-Pig. Beefy comes up with a song whilst the Pig gargles his half pint into oblivion.

The last half. I didn't clearly catch what Beeflicker was saying but I think the long and the short of it went something like this. Pisswell and Beeflicker have got off trail. Beeflicker consults the mapping app on his phone to find out where they are. This is only partially successful. They know where they are but they don't know where they should be. Pisswell says:

"It's a shame we don't have a phone. We could phone the Hare and ask where we should be". And so you could. A note for "Clouseau", the observant one.

A final reminder to everyone about this weekend's TVH3 Christmas Party and it's time to wend our way home.

Next week

Our hare(s) for next week's Hash are definitely U-Bend, hopefully assisted by Poacher. The venue will  be The Smugglers (Teignmouth - Dawlish road).

On-On to next week. MP

ON ON TO THE KING BILLY!

 

Run #2052 Monday 2nd December Circle up 7:15 pm from King William IV 45 Fore St, Totnes TQ9 5HN with hare Wet Johnny.

Parking at Victoria car park (free from 6 pm) or nearby on the Plains.

'TIMBER!'

TVH3 The Words for 25th November 2024

The Lord Nelson

Run No. 2051

HARE: Man-Pig

 

Who wuz there: Man-Pig, Archangel, Shitfaced, Hotlips, Zoot, Only Here for the Beer, Beefy, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Pisswell, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Ernie, Ted, Wetfart, Melon Picker, Soapy, Wet-Johnny, Judgemental, Red Rum, Smash, Miss Mash, Satnav, Threesum, Base Camp, Rise'n'Shine, Mateus Rose,, Triplejump, Wide Receiver, Bobbiball, and, for a second week in a row - Teapot plus the return of Bluebird!

 

Circle

Crikey! What a difference a week makes? I think I counted 26 or 27 in the Circle with more to arrive for a beer after the run. I think it was the prospect of chilli and crusty bread at £5/head that must have been the attraction.

 

Shitfaced was back from wherever he's been and welcomed the rather large pack to The Lord Nelson. The only announcements were:

 

1. Threesum would be in the pub afterwards with both raffle tickets and Christmas party tickets and

2. Wet-Johnny was in attendance to advise that next week's trail is from the King Bill, Totnes

So, with that, it was over to the stand-in Hare.

 

The Pig imparted that there were the usual three trails; Walkers', Shorts' and Longs' trails. I don't think that there was any mention of distances but, for the Longs, there was a warning! Two large trees have blown down on a narrow footpath in woodland. They have completely blocked the path but, with a bit of patience, you can get through (he hoped!).

 

Trail

The whole pack started off up Fluder Hill and then an arrow had them turn left and down Daccombe Mill Lane with the Walkers/Long & Shorts split at its end.

 

For the Walkers it was a fairly simple, all road, loop. They would head up Willowpark Lane and turn right at Kingskerswell Cross for the drop back into Kingskerswell via Fluder Hill.

 

The Longs and the Shorts carried straight on along the footpath that takes them up to the Bothy...and a check. Well, most carried straight on. Judgemental decided to do a bit of broken dam hopping en route. At the end of the footpath there is a check. I think Beefy checked towards Coffinswell but there was soon a call from the East. "On-On" towards the tiny hamlet of Daccombe.

 

At Daccombe we arrived at the solitary Long/Short split. The Shorts pushed on along Orestone Lane but only for Wide receiver to find a back-check. This was after Pocket Rocket had checked up the very steep Daccombe Hill to report that there were, allegedly, no marks. The FRB'ing Shorts ran back to the bottom of Daccombe Hill....marks after all! 

 

A short but painfully steep crawl up the 1 -in-4 hill brought the Shorts up to an arrow near its junction with the top of Fluder Hill. 

 

The Shorts now followed a trail that swapped from one side of the road to the other, predominantly staying in the veneer of woodland that straddles the upper reaches of Fluder Hill. Eventually they rejoined the Walkers "On-Home" trail at Kingskerswell Cross.

 

For the longs there was a sense of deja vu. For the three of them that had found last week's Long they were, once again, ascending Footland Lane. This week the Longs extended to seven hard, or should that be foolish, souls? This comprised Beefy, Beeflicker, Miss'ing (without her torch for the second week on the trot), Pisswell, Ernie, Ted, with The Pig sweeping.

 

Another back-check and we found ourselves ascending the same narrow, but steep, track up towards Barton Hill Road. Would we encounter fairy lights and another equine adventure like last week? No. Arrows lead us across Barton Hill Road and safely onto the verge down to Newton Hill. However, Ernie and Ted had to be called back for overrunning an arrow and merrily heading down Barton Hill Road.

 

All back on trail, the Longs embarked on a half mile needless loop down Newton Hill and then back up Barton Hill to its junction with Claddon Lane where the Pig was waiting. 

 

The trail now went down Claddon Lane and then right, through a kissing gate (no tongues now!) and into a large open field criss-crossed by tracks. Dots of floor were soon spotted and we eventually arrived at a check at the end of a track with a South West Water sign attached to its locked gate. Beefy had found two crosses but no third blobs of flour. Beeflicker was nowhere in sight so he was either well ahead of us or he was off trail. 

 

The Pig directed the pack up the SWW access track up to the Barton Hill reservoir and a view point. A couple of snaps later we continued past the reservoir and telemetry mast and along to an old iron kissing gate. There was no check but Ernie and Ted continued straight on while Pisswell looked at a blob of flour at the edge of a wooden kissing gate. Ernie and Ted were called back and we all commenced a descent into woodland. All was well until we ground to a halt.

"Tree!"

A big fecker too. And it had fallen along the line of the footpath blocking movement for at least 20 meters. We crunched and cracked our way through and over brittle branches from the dead tree. We crossed from one side of the trunk to the other and found ourselves back on the footpath......for another 20 metres. Another fallen tree and, just like the previous one, it had fallen along the length of the footpath. We repeated the clambering/climbing procedures rehearsed only a moment earlier and successfully traversed lignin obstacle number two. The footpath lay clearly before us now. Down some woodland steps and along the shiplap fencing to someone's garden before exiting onto Padacre Road.

There was no check but flour was soon spied as we ran down Padacre Road and then right and up Swedwell Road. No chance of any marks being left here from last week's Hash as we ran up to its summit and junction with Roccombe Close. The Pig adds a late, but helpful, arrow. The trail now takes us to the end of Roccombe Close where there is an almost unseen footpath that takes us back onto Barton Hill Road. An arrow has us cross onto the top of Fluder Hill where we rejoin the Shorts' trail. It is all downhill from here.

 

We arrive back at the On-Down at 9.02 - some 6.33 miles after we started. Just in time for a beer and some chilli.

 

Down-Downs

The temperature had dropped a little during the run so were glad to be back in a traditional pub with a nice warm open fire. We took over the lounge bar whilst four or five locals inhabited the public bar. Most Hashers were tucking into their chilli when we arrived. It all looked rather snug and convivial. This is one of Teapot's favourite On-Downs and it was great to have him back two weeks in a row. And, behold, another stranger or is it a returnee? The flightless one has come out of hibernation and is in conversation with another "two shows in two weeks" - Bobbiball. 

 

This congregation of time served Teign Valley Hashers now comprised Teapot, Wetfart, Bluebird, Bobbiball and Man-Pig. We were having a good old chinwag until Bobbiball spoilt things by stating the bloody obvious...."we must have a combined age of nearly 400!". Yes Bobbi. You are correct but this is absolutely not called for.

 

We then swiftly move onto the Down-Downs and commence by thanking the pub for:

- opening especially for us

- for putting on the scoff

- and for the Down Downs

Are there any awards from previous weeks?

Yes, but only one.

 

Base Camp has the Horned Hat. Base Camp has done the Walkers' trail. He lives 600 yards away but Threesum is working so she will be joining us later. Although it is only 600 yards, Threesum phones the pub and asks Base Camp to come and pick her up. This he duly does. He drops Threesum off at the pub and then looks for a parking space. There are none. By the time he finds a space he is parked closer to home that the pub. Accordingly, a lazy Threesum gets the first Down-Down accompanied by, "She's the meanest......"

 

Next we have a story from Wide Receiver. It is about a Hasher who knows that Daccombe Hill is very steep. This Hasher hopes that the trail continues along the comparatively flat Orestone Lane. Hence he calls, "No marks" which commits Wide Receiver to continuing along Orestone Lane....only to find a back-check. The second Down-Down goes to Pocket Rocket accompanied by, "The Grand Old Duke of York.....".

 

Shitfaced has the next story. Miss'ing is so named because she is always missing from the On-Down as she always elects to go home straight after the run. For some reason this week she is curious enough to, at least, stick her nose into the Snug.

"Oh. It's quite warm in here".

So in she comes. However, she is as good as her name as this is the second time in as many weeks that she has forgotten her torch. This is the first time in three years, that she is NOT missing from the On-Down after the trail. A thoroughly deserved Down-Down. "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy".......

There are two halves left so the Hare is called upon to dispatch one.

 

Pisswell has a story from last week which she thinks will earn Beefy the last half of ale. Somehow, in the process of giving Pocket Rocket a lift last week they'd left one of their cars in Bovey Tracey.......and forgotten all about it. They get up on Tuesday morning:

"Where's the car Beefy?"

"Outside"

"No.Look for yourself"

"Oops!"

Hence the last half goes to Beefy for forgetting where he parked the car. "A note for the horse rustler" (a reference to our wanderings around an equine estate late at night last week).

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the King William IV, Totnes. Our Hare is Wet-Johnny.

On-On to next week. MP

CHRISTMAS DRAW 2024

Our Christmas Draw is on Monday 23rd December from the Kings Arms at Kingsteignton with Zoot and Hotlips.

BACK TO THE NELLIE THIS MONDAY

 

Run #2051 Monday 25th November Circle up 7:15 pm from The Lord Nelson, Fore St, Kingskerswell, Devon TQ12 5JB with that stalwart of stalwarts, Man-Pig.

PLEASE NOTE that this is a diary change. The pub is opening especially for us and putting on a chilli with crusty bread at £5/head.