TVH3 The Words for 18th July 2022

Locks Cross, Ponsworthy, Dartmoor

On-Down The Rugglestone

 

Run No. 1926

 

HARE: Pisswell

 

Who wuz there: Pisswell, Beefy, Man-Pig, Cheerio-Beerio, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Coldtits, Slip-on-Me, Rambo, Well Hopped, Big End, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Ernie, Wetfart, Teapot.

 

The Circle

The car park at Locks cross is small. However, we all managed to cram in - except Ernie who decided to park on a grassy knoll opposite. Despite the sound of gunfire nearby, we were reasonably confident that it wasn't Lee Harvey Oswald creating all the noise.

 

Piltdown Man found a horse wearing a burka and Shitfaced was absent, allegedly due to a migraine. Hence Piltdown Man took over the Grand Master's duties for the evening. It was very brief. "Thank you for turning up".

 

Rambo had an announcement about needing hares for three Mondays in September. Then it was over to the Hare, Pisswell. There were three trails, Walkers, Shorts, and Longs. "The marks may not be very clear in bracken (they were) so head for the obvious viewpoint if you lose the trail". Additionally, "There is a bailer in one field and it's difficult to lay flour on hay. Follow the footpath".

 

The Trail by hare Pisswell

 

Tune by the Worzels, “Where be that blackbird to?”

Lyrics by hare, for a bit of Dartmoor dialect!

============================

Where be that car park to?

I know where it be.

Just be up that gurt big ‘ill

Up out of Ponsworthy

Neath Corndon tor

Up on the moor

We’ll circle and I’ll tell you

It’s 5 the long, that’s definite

All others, choice of two

Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna

Where’s the down down?

The Rugg!

Where are we gwain to?

Most went down the hill

Longs and co across the moor

For views just take your fill

Theyre off to Primms

No more lived in

Then down the lane to Sweaton

They baled my marks into the hay

But no one was beaten!

Dunna Dunna Dunna Donna Dunna Dunna

Make your choice at The Splash

Some followed back the longs

Some the two moors way

Under the ladder there

Unlucky there today!

Was Coldtits gone?

We carried on

Whilst Beefy went to find her

She’s having fun, forgot to run,

Par-ty down by the river!

Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna

Ov-er the bridge to Jordan

At the writing on the wall

Choice on to Shallowford

Or a short towards the left

Shortcut to Corndonford

A solo trek across the bog

Was taken on by Smellie

All dry now, it’s been so hot

No need for wellies!

Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna

Wildlife resue Coldtits!

One more last split to go

A viewpoint for the longs

Up through Higher Foxworthy

But easy to go wrong!

Virgin ground, beat bracken down

To help them all with wending

There way up top to Corndon tor

Not lost, happy ending!

Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna

Back to Ruggle

We’re done!

Who may have gathered there?

I know who they be

Pisswell, Beefy, Ernie too Teapot and Slip on me. Manpig,

Piltdown, Wet Farts around Smellie, Georgie Porgie Coldtits, Strap on, Strap dancer too

Well hopped and Big End

Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna

Cheerio Beerio Rambo

Who got the down downs down?

I know who they be

For the hare and Beefy too

For Sweeping round for me

Big End had one, though what he done

Was just not driving Well Hopped

But Smellie’s letter upside down

“Medium” was well copped!

Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna

Hottest day yet

 

Well done x

 

The Trail by Man-Pig

Well, what can I say about the trail? Part three of Pisswell's Dartmoor Trilogy 2022 exceeded the incredibly high standard already set over the previous 1twelve months or so. I think it would be best to let the photos tell the story of the trail. It was beautiful and virgin territory from start to finish.

 

The Walkers and the Shorts headed downhill into Ponsworthy whilst the Longs headed uphill along the edge of Sherberton Common. After about 200 yards the trail took us off-road and left past the only house on the common. A tiny, isolated shed really with very little land. It had, nevertheless, just sold at auction for a staggering £601k. Beefy and I agreed that the price must include £451k for the views (see photos).

 

We rejoined road and headed southeast for about 300 yards before a mark had us entering the recently cut field followed by a second field where the hay had already been baled. Ernie took the opportunity of having a hash slash behind a bale whilst the rest of us entered a dark and ancient walled track that took us back to the edge of Ponsworthy.

 

At this point, we came across the walkers coming in the other direction. Pisswell had connived a plan as cunning as anything dreamt up by Blackadder. The Longs' early loop was also the Walkers' trail but in reverse.

 

At the end of the track, we hit tarmac again and dropped into the southern end of Ponsworthy. At the "splash" (ford) we joined up with the Shorts' trail and it wasn't long before we caught up with Rambo and Strap-Dancer. This part of the trail is incredibly picturesque as it runs 

northwards following Two Moors Way along the banks of the west Webburn River. We caught up with the Shorts and Pisswell at Jordan Mill Cottage just after crossing the bridge. Jordan Mill Cottage is a quintessentially beautiful thatched Devon cottage; a lot of ooooohs and ahhhhs when we passed that one (hopefully someone has a photo of it).

 

At Jordan, we followed an uphill track that arced around to East Shallowford. Halfway around the arc, we came to a Long/Short split. The shorts went due east and uphill towards Corndon Ford Farm. The Longs embarked on a loop around to East Shallowford then uphill and left eventually rejoining the Shorts near Corndon Ford Farm. The Longs had kept pretty tight up to this point and comprised Man-Pig, Well-Hopped, Big End, Strap-On, and Ernie with Beefy sweeping.

 

A check had Man-Pig on a fool's errand whilst everyone else headed, correctly, for Foxworthy.

Here we came to the final Long/Short split. The cars were within sniffing distance so Strap-On made a bee-line for the car park. The others followed the Longs' trail up to the top of Corndon Tor at 1396 feet above sea level where we were blessed with the most spectacular of views. A brief photo op as the sun set behind us before beefy guided us off the Tor and back to the car park.

 

5.36 thoroughly enjoyable miles. Thank you, Pisswell. A fantastic trail, very well laid, and virgin territory to boot. Just brilliant!

 

The Down-Downs

The Walkers had got back to the pub well before the Longs. Teapot had already gone home. Wetfart was just finishing his beer. Beefy was running back o the pub via his house for a quick shower and Cheerio-Beerio never made it back to the pub.

 

Pisswell was waiting for Rambo back at the car park whilst he was taking photos. hence the Down-Downs didn't commence until 9.45. There was also some confusion regarding a tray containing two untouched pints of beer and a pint of water. Had teapot got the Down-Downs in and then left? Apparently not. They were a cancelled order from a Dutch couple who thought that the beer was too warm!

 

Pisswell arranged the Down-Down drinks and it was over to Man-Pig to RA for the evening. there were only nine of us left and none of those present had awards from two weeks previously. Hence the first two halves went to the Hares for another excellent Dartmoor trail.

With no hats to award, Man-Pig put Smellie on the spot as she had had a down-down two weeks ago as one of the three best-themed costumes on from our Fourth of July hash. 

 

Eventually, Smellie came up with a story about someone on trail describing her pond life, in particular, dragonflies. This was Coldtits. However, Coldtits was driving so nominated Big End to have her half. A note for "Pondlife".

 

Were there any stories on trail? Strap-On came to the rescue with a story about a hasher who, on returning to the car park, saw an "M" on the ground written in flour. "Oh. Pisswell's also laid a medium trail!". Errrrm. Well, no. It's actually the Walker's outward trail upside down. Accordingly, a note for Smellie as the "dyslexic one".

 

Next week

Ashcombe Cross junction on the A380 - Forestry Commission access road; Hare is Piltdown Man no doubt aided by Georgy Porgy. The On-down is tentatively earmarked as the Ship Inn, Chudleigh - details to be confirmed on Facebook.

 

On-On to next week. Man-Pig

MONDAY 18 JULY MAP

 

TVH3 The Words for 11th July 2022

Haytor Middle Car Park, Dartmoor

On-Down at Haytor Quarry

 

Run #1925

 

HARE: Slip-on-Me

Who wuz there: Slip-o

n-Me, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Arkangel, Hotlips, Zoot, Beefy, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Coldtits, Rambo, Well Hopped, Big End, Well Hopped's Dad, Piddler, Wet Johnny, Warm Front, Polyfella, Broadshit, Ablesemen, Ernie, Teapot. Non runners: Martin & Threesum.

 

The Circle

An absolutely beautiful and clear day welcomed us to Haytor Middle car park. Smellie and Man-Pig commented on the beautiful view with Big End reaffirming how fortunate we were with access to views like this on trail. 

 

Shitafced said a few words about the weather, the view, and this weekend's Ippletipple. It then transpired that Smellie had got her weekends confused and would be attending the following weekend's Teignmouth beer festival but not this weekend's Ippletipple. 

 

This was Slip-on-Me's virgin lay and she was quite anxious. She had already swept up Plympton Hash's sawdust with a dustpan and brush. So as not to confuse anyone, the trail had been laid in "red" sand. 

 

When we eventually got our eye in, the red sand proved to be more of a mud colour. At least we now knew what to look for. Post run, drinks, and nibbles were to be at the flooded quarry where a warm swim would await those who dared.

 

The trail

 

PARADISE LOST by Pollyfella

 

The hash gathered on the most beautiful of summer evenings at the middle car park below the mighty Haytor rocks. The early arrivals took in the epic view and picked out landmarks all the way down to The Ness at Shaldon. The cars steadily pulled up. Then Warm Front appeared having impressively cycled up to the moor and Beefy having equally impressively run up from Widecombe. 

 

The circle was called for our grandmaster to commence proceedings. 

 

Our circle comprised of:
Able Semen, Archangel, Big End, Broadshit, Cold Tits, Georgy P Orgy, Hot Lips, Hunk of Beef, Manpig, Piddler, Piltdown Man, Pollyfella, Rambo, Shitfaced, Slip-on Me, Tea Pot, Well Hopped, Wet Johnny, Zoot, James, Norm, and Roger. 

 

First up was Piddler keen to know if a delegation of hashers would be heading to the Ipple Tipple on 16th July but there were no definite takers. But as the GM pointed out final decisions on such matters usually occur on the day itself. 

 

Next, there was a discussion about the Teignmouth RFC beer festival to be held over the weekend of Thursday 21st to Saturday 23rd July. This was greeted with more enthusiasm with plans made for attending on Friday and Saturday nights. Then Rambo confirmed that August dates were nearly full and bookings for September were being taken. 

 

Next, it was the turn of hare for the evening, Slip on Me, who set out the distances for the walker, short and long trails. There was a promise of a beer stop and an explanation that the trail was laid in red sand which was greeted with a murmur of intrigue. Could a sand trail be spotted out on the moor? 

 

The on down was confirmed as the quarry and Slip on Me offered to drive beer and belongings and even hashers down after the run. 

 

Our hare announced that all hashers were starting off heading down the hill and off we went led by Warm Front through the bracken down to the lower car park and on to the junction at the Moorland Hotel. 

 

There we scattered searching down the side roads and along the wall adjacent to the hotel seeking our first glimpse of red sand. 

 

After several minutes of back and forth, Man Pig spotted the first sand blob and called the “on on.” The trail led us down the lane heading towards Ilsington. 

 

About half a mile later, we came upon a split for the walkers taking them left. The longs and shorts carried on down the road until we reached an arrow directing us right and down a pretty path to a stream. 

 

Hashers had the choice of either crossing on a bridge consisting of one long thin rock raised above the water like a misplaced monolith from Stonehenge or running across the stream.

On we ran through pretty woodland until we reached a gate marked “Do Not Enter – Private” which was covered in a forbidding barbed wire. Surely it could not be that way? 

 

Here there was a mini regroup with Man Pig, Big End, Polly Fella, Beefy, and Warm Front all searching for a sandy blob. 

 

Big End bemoaned his colour blindness and explained that he was not going to be able to help us spot anything red tonight! 

 

Then in front of the gate, a blob was spotted and onwards we coursed. On we ran down a track at the lowest point around the private land. Here our pace was gentle with the sultry heat now playing its part. 

 

Through a gate and upwards we ran passing the isolated Bagg Tor House to our left. Here our trail disappeared. We searched in all directions. Warm Front and Big End went on straight up with Manpig exploring paths to the left and Pollyfella down to Bagg Tor house. 

 

We decided the trail must be at the summit of Bagg Tor and so up we went to be rewarded with the most epic panorama and - a sand blob! 

 

With all the earlier checking the group was now extended to include Smellie, Broadsheet, and Ernie, he of the fastest milk cart fame. Ahead of us lay Haytor and on we ran through another gate but, alas, this was to be the last of the trail we could find. Paradise Lost indeed...

 

We ran up to the road below the Tor and down to the upper car park to observe the movements at the middle car park. 

 

With our GPS showing we were still below four miles, our group was unable to resist running up to Haytor to take in the view. Warm Front ascended the great rock and the rest of the group went around on the grass. Then we descended to the on down location to see the quarry and admire the water lilies and the plentiful tadpoles in its waters. 

 

Then it was back to the car park to gather our beers and clothes ready for the on down. Heading back, we passed Able Semen, the first hasher who was on her way up from the car park, and then we met Georgy P Orgy with Piltdown Man. 

 

As Piltdown was carrying Smellie's beer and gear, she decided to stay up at the on down site as the rest of the group returned to the car park. There we found Threesome and partner sitting outside their camper enjoying the last of their leisurely dinner from a fine vantage point overlooking the views of the South Devon coast. 

 

Here too was Well Hopped and her father and another hasher (apologies for not knowing your name). Back at the cars, we met Coldtits who explained the shorts had found the beer stop. She offered packs of crisps to the hungry hashers. Then over the far slopes facing Haytor emerged Rambo and from the direction of the top car park, Archangel descended. The hash was regrouping from all directions.

 

A group of hashers including Well Hopped and Big End decided to take in the sunset from the top of Haytor and off they went with their supplies.

 

Next to arrive at the car park was Slip on Me returning in a cloud of 4 x 4 dust.

She explained that she had been waiting at the beer stop for the longs who never arrived. The longs were all sorry to have missed the beer stop but it could not be helped and they had still had a lovely run and taken in stunning views. The hash was now dispersing in all directions. 

 

Beefy and Warm Front headed off on their energetic ways home. Slip on Me kindly offered to drive hashers to the on down and a group enjoyed a bumpy 4x4 ride to the quarry for a catch-up and refreshment with the rest of the pack.

 

What a glorious night it was out hashing on Dartmoor in the shadows of Haytor.

A huge thank you to Slip on Me for all her hard work in arranging such a fabulous adventure.

 

The Down-Downs

Probably didn't happen as only Piltdown-Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Piddler, Able Semen, Slip-On-Me, Rambo, Martin, and Threesum walked up to the quarry for nibbles and drinks.

 

Next week

The concluding chapter of the Dartmoor trilogy: Location: Ponsworthy; Hare - Pisswell, possibly aided by Beefy. Full directions to be posted.

 

ON ON! Man-Pig

TVH3 The Words for 4th July 2022

Independence Day Hash, Park Inn, Kingskerswell 

 

Run No. 1924

 

HARES: Shitfaced, Bluebird & Man-Pig

 

Who wuz there: Shitfaced, Bluebird, Man-Pig, iPoo'd, Arkangel, Hotlips, Zoot, Fallen Woman, Broken Man, Slip-on-Me, Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Pisswell, Beefy, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Coldtits, Rambo, Well Hopped, Big End, Well Hopped's Dad, Well Hopped's brother?, Piddler, Swinger, Warm Front, Popeye, Wylie Coyote (visitor from South Hams Hash). Additional non-runners: Cheerio Beerio (short distance award - painting banisters), T-Humper (working), Only Here for the Beer, Bobbiball, and a very late guest appearance by Floss.

 

Apologies sent by Forrest who had suffered a broken leg and was waiting for the glue to dry.

 

The Circle

A themed run resulted in some intriguing fancy dresses for America's Fourth of July Independence Day Hash. 

 

The pub had laid on an American-style barbecue (but cooked in the oven apparently) of burgers, weeners, and spare ribs - fortunately no American beer. The majority of the hash had made some attempt at dressing for the occasion. Slip-on-Me had the stars and stripes flag flying from the back of her land Rover - somewhat reminiscent of Dukes of Hazard (remember Daisy and Boss Hogg?). 

 

Shitfaced was in form as Donald Trump. Smellie was a quite alluring Wonder Woman who, by the time we were back in the pub, had metamorphosized into a lumberjack. Then the Hare's instructions were interrupted by Coldtits entering the circle. What can I say? I completely lost my train of thought and I have no idea why.

 

Back to the description of the trail. Shitfaced denied all knowledge of it apart from the Walkers' trail which he'd laid and thought wasn't too bad. Bluebird ran into the bar to hide. Man-Pig (who wasn't even supposed to be co-haring) was left to carry the can.

 

Shitfaced, Bluebird, and the Pig all offered some sort of description of the parts of the trail that they had laid - most of which joined up. Shitfaced was a little economical with the truth regarding distances - apart from the mention of double-figures if one was to do both Longs.

Bluebird just babbled and all three hares said something about the marks being laid in a combination of blue chalk, peach chalk, and flour. "The Long and the Short of it" was, so to speak, "If you want to get back in time for the barbecue, DO NOT DO THE SECOND LONG!" Quite what our visitors from SH4 thought of it all we will never know.....quite a shambles really.

 

BB

At this point, my insertion of the trail should appear. However, upon reflection, I feel unable to give my usual detailed account, interspersed with a little levity.

 

Thinking the long trail would be only about five miles, Man-Pig was delegated to add another split to bring it up to a respectable six.

 

Futile making further elaboration, I made a mistake and my trail proved to be eight miles. Man-Pig's loop was three miles, making the long eleven miles.

 

Man-Pig was at pains in the circle to warn hashers not to do the second long split but go long and then short, making about six miles.

 

As Beefy commented on the pack departing: 'Witness: all that enthusiasm.' Despondency set in and, too shattered to accompany them, I adjourned to the pub to fret.

 

Hashers appeared. The walkers were all happy with the GM's short wander. Shorts arrived but quite a few had cut short down Fluder Hill. 

 

Warm Front had completed the six-mile-long/short combination and had no complaints. (She had done a 50 km race at the weekend so had a short run here.)

 

The food was put back as hashers were still missing. Relief as SM Ellie, Coldtits, and then Pisswell got back.

 

At 9:15 pm, Beefy was back after actually completing the full eleven-mile trail! What a hasher, and I bought him a pint. He had taken some beautiful snaps en route and had seemed to genuinely have enjoyed the trail. A crumb of comfort for me.

 

Some twenty minutes later, Man-Pig arrived, ashen-faced and still clutching the large flour container which he had carried around the eleven-mile double long. He had already laid over six miles in the afternoon so do the maths to realize that he had covered over seventeen miles. Quite remarkable and way over and above the duty of a hare.

 

I had two returning awards and would have given them to the two heroes of the evening - Man-Pig and Beefy - but decided it was not appropriate. An unhappy evening for me though I had enjoyed the adventure of laying my blunder in wonderful weather. I had chalked little messages of encouragement and warnings of dangerous road crossings along my wander.

Sorry everyone for my error which Man-Pig had alerted me to before we set off. I hope it didn't spoil the evening for some. I tried but was found wanting.

 

Being a true hasher and friend, dear Man-Pig forgave me, stating on his Strava post:

'I’ll survive.....but I’m passing on this evening’s AH3 run!'

 

The Down-Downs

iPoo'd presented the horned hat to Slip on Me for accidentally hitting her with the stars and stripes flag.

 

Strap-On gave the Jester's hat to Piddler for interminable moaning....again.

 

Wylie Coyote had a welcome DD as a visiting hasher.

 

Best Fancy dress: 3 contenders - Pisswell (Pocahontas), Coldtits (Wonderwoman/Wonderbra), Smellie (WonderWoman/Lumberjack). Loudest cheer for Coldtits but all three get a Down-Down.

 

Next week

Haytor middle car park with Hare Slip-on-Me. No on-down so bring your own food and beverage. A chance of a swim in a quarry so bring your cossy too!

 

On-On to next week. Man-Pig.

HASHERS HAD IT ALL AT TINKLEY BOTTOM: A MEADOW MOWED, BBQ, A BARREL OF BEER, LADDERS & ROPED RIVER CROSSING

by Man-Pig

TVH3 The Words for 27th June 2022 - Tinkley Bottom

Run No. 1923

 

HARES: Forrest Stump & Man-Pig

 

Who wuz there: Forrest-Stump, Man-Pig, Wood Lend, Fuddle & hubby Sam (not running), Shitfaced, iPoo'd, Arkangel, Cheerio Beerio, Threesum, Martin, TT, Satnav, Able Semen, Deep Semen, Fallen Woman, Broken Man, Slip-on-Me, Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Pisswell, Beefy, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Wet-Johnny, Erection, Coldtits, Rambo, Well Hopped, Ned, Piddler, Swinger, Swinger's friend, Dave (Cheerio's sausage dog), Trucker (guest appearance).

 

The Circle

Once more the Hash became the beneficiaries of Forrest's excellent hospitality and equally enjoyable trail. In true Forrest fashion, the meadow had been mowed, brazier fired up and barbecue facilities prepared for hungry and thirsty hashers. Did I say "Thirsty"? Best of all, Forrest had laid on a barrel of Black Tor Blonde at a meagre £3/pint....excellent.

 

Shitfaced welcomed all into the circle. This included some returnees, TT and partner, and some faces that I didn't recognise. I think these were Forrest's neighbours. Announcements comprised the notification of the venue for next week's hash and hash theme and a request from Man-Pig for a volunteer to do the Words.

 

In respect of the latter, there were no takers. Man-Pig then forgot to pressgang some poor unfortunate into penning this week's Words, so ended up doing them himself. What a fukwit.

Forrest briefly described the trail but was rather vague on distances. Yes. There was a Walkers', and at least three, maybe four Long/Short splits. Then there was some mention of a tree bearing a strange crop; a crop of carrier bags with tractors printed on them.

 

The Trail

Now, the Teign Valley has been pretty well-trodden by TVH3 over the years. There was always going to be the risk of running over the same old ground and the trails getting a tad repetitive. However, never fear. Forrest is a cunning old fox if ever there was one. His knowledge of the Valley is encyclopaedic and he also has a lot of land-owning neighbours. Some of them are Hash friendly, others not. So it was with delight that we learned that we would be running over some virgin territory. This, together with Forrest's ability to bamboozle hashers by reversing trails and running the same ground both in darkness and daylight, resulted in hashers failing to twig that they had covered most of the trail within the past 9 months - albeit in the dark.

 

The Walkers, Shorts and the Longs exited Forrest's meadow heading downstream along the River Teign. At the old Trusham railway station, the Walkers and the Shorts bore right and over Crocombe Bridge to commence the ascent up Warm Hill.

 

The Longs were taken on a short loop up Farley Hill then a check which took them right on a minor road towards Northwood Farm. This was before climbing over a gate, crossing the disused railway line, and returning to Crocombe Bridge along the banks of the Teign. Now, even this short loop was not without its issues.

 

The FRB's, comprising Beefy, Wood Lend, and Erection (no Wet Johnny as he is nursing a hamstring injury), had overrun a partially obliterated mark and had engaged in an unplanned canter down to the coachworks. Was this Pooke piracy? Who knows?

 

Back on trail, it wasn't long before we arrived at the Walkers' split from the Longs and the Shorts. This was at the lower reaches of Warm Hill. The Walkers would bear right and continue up to the bottom of Teign Village from where they would be the first to enjoy/suffer the virgin territory.

 

A little further up Warm Hill came the first of the Long/Short spits that would take the Shorts into Hennock. Further up Warm Hill again we came to a check at a minor crossroads. Arkangel made a beeline for Five Lanes by running through a cross whilst the FRB's followed the trail left and downhill only to be befuddled by a strange mark. So befuddled in fact that Wood Lend was on the phone to his Dad for some insider knowledge.

 

At this point, the Hare arrived. "What's a circle with a cross in it?" asked Beefy. "A back-check" came the Hare's reply. By this time, Deep Semen had found the trail rising up Shameface Lane. The FRB's now had swollen to include Swinger & friend, Ned, Well Hopped, Pisswell, Beefy, Erection, Wood Lend, and Deep Semen.

 

At the top of Shameface Lane, we arrived at another Long/Short split at Five Lanes. The Shorts were directed into Hennock whilst the Longs endured the interminable climb up a beautiful footpath up to Chericombe Cross and another check. By the time we got there, it had been kicked out by either Strap-On or Piddler after Smellie's hard work of doing all the checking. However, the kicking out wasn't too clear and could have had the following Hashers going down one of two roads. And this is exactly what was going on with the FRB's.

 

The Hare realigned the kicked-out section of the check and all FRB's were now on the long descent down Bell Lane and into Hennock. Outside the Palk Arms, another Long/Short split.

There was some thought of going Short until the Hare suggested doing the Long. Yes. It would be a little further but we would be going down a footpath last trod by TVH about 12 years ago and we would have the opportunity to find the elusive "Bag tree".

 

So it was that we all ran up the cul-de-sac that is Church Lane. Just past the church, a huge arrow took us through a five-bar gate and into what appeared to be someone's driveway. It was! However, it was also the route of a pretty underused public footpath. 

 

The beginning of the footpath was 6 feet high in foliage and brambles but it wasn't long before it opened up to provide a lovely viewpoint across the valley towards Tinkley quarry.

 

As the once visible footpath disappeared, it was time to keep an eye out for the "bag tree" that would get us back on trail. Conscious of keeping the countryside tidy, the bag was recovered and we continued a steep, and uneven, descent to the road and the next check.

 

It had already been kicked out uphill. We ascended the road to Brandiron Cross where an arrow took us downhill and through Teign Village.

 

At the lower edge of the village, a huge arrow directed us left and into the first of three fields. This was the virgin territory and we had now rejoined the Walkers' Trail. Despite quite high wheat and grass in places, the marks were good. The last field had us on a very steep descent to the bottom of Warm Hill.

 

We retraced our steps towards Crocombe Bridge but, before arriving at the bridge, a large "OH" and an arrow had us diverting into Trucker's field and the promised river crossing - of which there were two! If you fancied getting waist-high in water, take the Longs' crossing with the blue nylon rope. If you were a wuss, as were all of the back marking FRB's, it was the ankle-deep river crossing for us with a hessian rope for support.

 

Forrest had thought of everything. On the far side of the river, there were two aluminium ladders to aid our clambering back into Forrest's recently mowed meadow.

Trail complete. Now for a Black Tor Blonde - or two?

 

The Down-Downs

There were only two physical awards present from the previous two weeks but there were also some stories of misdemeanours en trail to recount.

 

First up was Smellie. She had the jester hat to award but nearly ended up giving it to herself as she was in some sort of a time warp.

 

Smellie started by describing a trail that she'd done the previous day! Eventually, the story unfolded of Smellie, Strap-On, and Piddler running together and coming to a check. Piddler, unchivalrously, suggested that Smellie do the checking whilst a recalcitrant Strap-on stuck firmly close to the check. A vote was called for and won by Strap-On for "Recalcitrant behaviour".

 

Next was Shitfaced. He recalled a story from the weekend about a boozy party and someone who had to be taken home by taxi. Worse still, the same person was sick in the taxi. The hat went to iPoo'd to a chorus of Chumba Wumba but retitled "Chunder Wonder".

 

Stories: Beefy had a story about lost property recovered from the previous week's hash. It was an item of clothing and Beefy removed his polo shirt to reveal a t-shirt with a photo of a leopard on it. "Any takers?". Yes. It was Rambo's. A memento of his recent holiday in South Africa and he hadn't even realised that he'd lost it! A note for the "Forgetful one".

 

One down-down left. Normally this would have gone to the Hare. not only for planning and laying the trail but also for his legendary hospitality. However, there was another contender. A virgin. Threesum announced that her partner, Martin, had actually done the Walker's trail. Now Martin has been coming to the Hash on and off for over a year but has never run.....until now. A very poor rendition of Madonna's, "Like a virgin touched for the dry first time....." had Martin downing his half of ale in double-quick time.

 

Thank you again Forrest for your hospitality and your cunning ingenuity. Even Beefy didn't realise that he'd been on most of the trail before; the cover of darkness!

 

Next week

The Park Inn, Kingskerswell. It is Independence Day in the USA and, accordingly, there is a theme for the evening: come dressed as something American. The American theme will extend to the food as well as burgers will be on the barbecue. Hares are Shitfaced and Bluebird.

 

On-On to next week.