Saturday 27 July 2019
Wednesday 24 July 2019
PARK INN'S RED DRESS RUN FOR MIGMAN & ROWCROFT
Run #1804 Monday 22nd July RED DRESS RUN from the Park Inn with GM Shitfaced
Homeric words none this week Beefy, although in truth, the preparations and work that went into the scheme were of epic proportion. Herewith are merely a few recollections of the excellent evening.
The Grand Master's brainchild came to fruition: a Red Dress run to commemorate our dearly departed Migman plus a little fund-raiser for that most deserving institution - Rowcroft Hospice.
Difficult to establish numbers but I made at least fifty five at the circle with some arriving even as the Grand Master launched into his spiel.
The Red Dress code varied greatly from the glamorous to the grotesque and various local charity shops had been relieved of their red dress stock.
I was more than a little taken aback when Shitfaced outlined a four plus mile long, having an ill-founded belief that we would only be dancing around the block and back. Whatamistakatomaka..
A few sample memories of the attire on show:
3Sum was glamorous in a flowing dress, more befitting a Gala Ball.
Teapot hadn't removed the price tag from his red skirt, no doubt hoping for a rapid refund on Tuesday.
The Penners had managed to arrive without being pulled over with Wet Johnny care free in a daring off the shoulder number and the weight loss had certainly paid off for Erection who now looked to have a magnificent wasp waist in his easy on the eye garment. Manopause unfortunately could not have got away with going undercover - his bulk more menacing than dainty.
Absolutely Not Fabulous was Only Here who caused a minor sensation when he strode purposely to the bar for a pre-run fuel injection - words can hardly describe the awful apparition. A popular pose for the locals (snapped with supporting guffaws and giggles) was the disastrous double pose with Red Plastic Bertrand.
Soapy had to take care bending over as her assets were in danger of spilling out but in stark contrast, Melon Picker's knees and unshaven legs fell foul of the style police and he was given a stern warning not to repeat the abomination.
Wetfart was most miffed at being singled out by Teapot for failing to be red dressed - reminding his old friend that he was wearing his red football socks.
Mouldy emerged from his chariot with a fetching red housecoat which conveniently could be unbuttoned for the run.
Manpig had the right idea with one of his lady wife's shoulder (Teddy) bare summer dresses though the length was a little longer than ideal for running.
U Bend was Pretty in Pink and Bobby Woll appeared to be attired in a red cordite casing sleeve.
SM Ellie looked cool in her orangey-red creation though BroadS was justifiably uneasy in his tight-fitting dress.
Archangel rode in largely unnoticed on his super bright red composite cycle.
All were winners on the night.
Longs to the left and shorts to the right and, almost reluctantly, the longs set off, hashers still making final adjustments to their attire. As early as the first check I had brewed up and was forced to go topless from the Red Plastic Bertrand number. Sporting an airy little halter-necked party dress, Runner Bean pranced away with returning Ollie and Beefy. A red-wigged Wiggy's boiling point was imminent and other red dresses were changing to a darker shade. Drinkers now had an even greater running problem than usual.
Back to the run and the shorts merged with the longs as we hit the Newton road. An early pit stop saw the GM ushering his red army into the back of the Lord Nellie for a tiny tot before decanting out the front and resuming the trail. Manpig informed us that he'd seen marks below his abode and the make your minds up point came at the L/S split. Manpig peeled off to his house to resume and complete the long with SM Ellie as Red Plastic Bertrand, BroadS and Erection acknowledged the waves and beeps from passing motorists.
Down the Old Newton Road, cut back inside the Barn Owl and thankfully back to the Park with about a four miler barely survived. You can't beat a Gun Dog and oh boy, it really went down a treat as we gradually assembled outside for the barbie and Downdowns.
DOWNDOWNS AND OTHER AWARDS
Erection (Ceremonial Bat hat) to ONLY HERE/BEER for jumping out of a car and running into the car park as though he had run the trail.
Deep Semen (Horsey Horseface Hat) to BEEFY for failing to wear something red on the run - though he did afterwards.
Piltdown (Pillock/hashit shirt) to 3SUM for not stopping at her house for hospitality on this occasion.
NAMING of ALOE VERA ('Allo Vera?) to Soapy's grand daughter with Soapy nominated to take the DD.
NAMING of PARK & RIDE for the esteemed landlord of the Park Inn.
Various bottles to noted red dress wearers:
PALMOLIVE (prettiest - no arguments there) WIGWAM (most fanciable!) SOAPY (best underwear - as always) LINDA or LIBBY sorry ladies unsure who. (best cape - Superwoman) ERECTION (GM's favourite) and finally to FORREST (best polka dots).
So many to thank for the evening and I'm sure I have forgotten some so apologies if I have, no disrespect intended.
Park & Ride and his loyal staff (T Humper included), Soapy for her cakes, I-Poo'd for alcoholic fudge, Zoot for earrings, every one of you who made the effort and last but definitely not least, our Grand Master Shitfaced.
A memorable event and one which Migman would have heartily applauded. Thank you GM.
ON ON to next week and Ipplepen Football Club TQ12 5TT with Wet Johnny & Co.
Wednesday 17 July 2019
TOUR DES RESERVOIRS WITH A SLIMMED DOWN ERECTION & A POKER FACED SEMEN
Run #1803 Monday 15th July from Trenchford & Tottiford Reservoirs OD The Bridford Inn with Poacher & Deep Semen
Slowly did they trickle [sic] into the
reservoir bridge car park which was soon full to overflowing [double
sic] on a balmy evening for the continuing saga (some say charade) that
is TVH. Forrest explained the reason for the heavily cratered and
potholed eastern approach 'road' - it being unadopted, therefore not
liable for council resurfacing and Bobby's Panzer would Shirley have
perished here, Oh Dearly Suspension Smashed...
Evidently having the constitution of a cast
iron cooking pot, Archangel managed (much to the surprise of T Humper)
to make an appearance after reportedly downing double figures of pints
at the Park on Sunday afternoon (cricket, you fools).
But never mind, the usual suspects and gang
members did gaily cavort, mingle and gossip whilst an ever increasingly
edgy Poacher kept muttering 'They've got a fair way to go, tell the GM
to get going..'
The Bestaffed One called his
Merry Men & Women to order and manifold and mysterious were the
messages that kept coming before mercifully, Deep Semen stepped up to
the oche to deliver us all from Bananarama banality.
With his utterance of a Magnificent Seven
(1960) miler for the longs, he wuz Shirley preaching to the converted
(FRBs you fools) but never mind, he added, 'It's all completely flat out
there..' Well, nearly... and we were released into the wondrous
Waterworld (1995) of the man made lakes..
Ready to RocknRolla (2008) were Flasher and a
behorned Runner Bean who had already had a nice little three plus miler
warm up from Bovey.
Mischievous
indeed was Poacher's indication of a Wong Wei from an early check -
most longs were alerted and came back but Runner Bean and Manpig were
out of earshot and Carried on Regardless (1961) Way Way Down into the
boondocks before turning... sigh
After about two miles of scenic lakeside
running, the dividing bridge betwixt Trenchford & Tottiford and the
well-sited SS loomed. A quick breather and off we set with just another
five miles to gogo..
Up
into the woods did we fearlessly foray Forrest, the scenery blurring
with our perspiring tears and always omnipresent was the Deep Semen -
studiously averting his gaze from the FRBs and their pleas for a pointer
or three...
Tumbling
down from a grassy lane, a crossroads of ultimate fear met our narrowed
eyes. Beefy gave a thumbs down for the right and Flasher returned from
the straight ahead saying it could be but it was so overgrown no marks
could be seen. Shirley left was the only viable option and Flasher fled,
a fast fading 'On one, on two' the only clues heard - and then,
nothing. Flasher was last seen far away on the horizon, heading for the
setting sun and cries of 'On YOU?' drifted unanswered on the wind. A
second scout, Runner Bean was sent. 'On one, on two..' then an
astonished 'A CROSS!!' Oh shamelessly feast in the Great Hall of Infamy, Flasher..*
Back we staggered to meet a tiny knot of longs awaiting wisdom - and a rather smug looking Semen.. HA!
Softly,
softly, catch an FRB was SM Ellie who had a stress free Serena** as the
snarling former FRBs were relegated to the longs.
Many
a twist, turn and adventure followed, but I must report on gladiatorial
glory seen along the highways and byways, Oh Dearly Didn't They Do
Well..
Chasing after Mawgan (off the
lead) Soapy was going like the clappers and the Wigster was wiggling
well after stopping the rot. Ex Bolivian Boy Wet Johnny was starting to
run lean and mean but the real eye-opener was Erection. After losing
over two stone (and climbing) this was a running revelation revealed and
now Team Penner Shirley is mob-handed with running (and drinking)
ability.
A glazed-eyed Flasher rejoined the Fray Bentos but was now limping and only firing on three cylinders..
More
mayhem materialised in a far flung field where an errant arrow sent
Chief Scout Beefy on a wild goose chase as Deep Semen and his gleeful
band of hangers-on continued the other way... sigh, we've been had again
lads..
The
only climb of note up Commons Hill brought us all back together and now
it was down to the reservoirs again with BroadS feeling lucky, kicking
in the turbo, the rotter.
Most
Stravas read mid six miles though Flasher and Runner Bean reached ten
plus and then it was pothole time again. Without the lads navigating, I
confess that I wouldn't have found the Bridford Inn, such were the
tortuous twists en routey.
Ale of choice was the Exeter Brewery's Ferryman 4.2 abv and we were well looked after by the pub with a hash menu to boot.
Forrest was, uncharacteristically, in sombre
mood at the bar. Languishing with his long-lasting back injury, his
spirits were raised [sic] when Archangel got him a whisky pain-killer.
Well hares, we really loved the trail and
what a beautiful evening to drink in the scenery. There were few gimmes
at the checks and Deep Semen kept us guessing for much of the trail -
which is how it should be, I grudgingly concede. Te saluto! I salute
thee, Deep Semen & the Poach.
** Williams, No? Well please...
WINFIELD'S WISDOM & DOWNDOWNS
#1803 Mon 15th July at Trenchford Reservoir,
high amongst the hills and forests above the Teign Valley, with Hares
Deep Semen & Poacher.There were at lest 3 possible routes to the
circle, where at least 40 keen Hashers did eventually find this secluded
spot. It was a great sunny evening where the hares had laid several
great trails around this very scenic area and later at OD Bridford Inn
Bridford there was good food and a beer before it was time for the
"Offenders" to step forward for their Awards....
DEEP SEMEN for (still) maintaining a poker face when asked for information on Trail!
ERECTION who was noted for his fast improving speed by a very concerned Bluebird!!
PILTDOWN MAN whose satnav setup took him in all possible directions around the area.
T.HUMPER who poured water over herself to give an extreme performance look before she finished.
Friday 12 July 2019
Mon 15th Hash1803 Circle 7:15
NOW near BRIDGE BETWEEN Trenchford & Tottiford Reservoirs
grid ref SX 81099 82633 nearest code TQ13 9DP : OD. Bridford Inn
Bridford with Hares Deep Semen & Poacher and here is where we will
be....
Click on map to find your route
Click on map to find your route
Thursday 11 July 2019
Memories on Trail 1802..
...Our GM proudly leads the way to the top of
the mountain!. Piltdown at the Teignmouth Trig point and with Georgy
serving up the strawberries high above the river Teign on a great
evening
Wednesday 10 July 2019
BETTER FLEE THE EIGER SANCTION, KATHMANDU COMMUTE & A SSSS
Run #1802 Monday 8th July from the London Inn at Shaldon with Piltdown & Georgy P'orgy
Holiday
time and high summer approaching meant that Shaldon was sardine rammed
with visitors. Georgy's directive that parking might be problematic
proved spot on and village spaces were very hard to come by though U
Bend's super chariot remarkably slotted in right next to the green.
Riding
shotgun with Bobby Woll, it was a wise decision to Panzer park in the
main Ness car park with Manpig having the same idea, arriving in the
lady wife's chariot.
Hashers
were milling around and congregating on the green and a goodly turnout
it seemed to be (Teapot called it at 44) with a few unfamiliar faces.
Three newbies were noted, including Mousegrass from Kathmandu - and
that's one helluva commute.
Good
to see Klingon, who has been racking up the miles lately; BroadS and
Coldtits had all of a mile walk from Teignmouth and Wetfart from across
the water also put in one of his infrequent appearances.
Quite
a lengthy process at the holiday circle but worthy of note was
Piltdown's victory lap of the green after winning the GM's star prize
question. After calming down, Piltdown was joined by co-conspirator
Georgy to outline what wuz waiting for us out there. 'About 5 for the
longs, 3 1/2 for the shorts and a walkers' trail plus a SS' was
discerned in the usual chaos and the starter's gun fired to release the
warriors and gentle joggers all.
Plonker
- still good to gogo after Saturdays's torrid A2B ten plus miler (and a
still dehydrated Manpig), just managed to slam the brakes on before
charging into the Teign estuary... sigh. Manopause was a reluctant
leader as the FRBs gathered themseves for the inevitable frenetic fray.
Beefy was quick on the draw to get a vid clip of the charge as the flat tarmac
had the pace really rolling. Poacher/Cider, Flasher (completed the
across Tor Bay and back swim on Saturday), Runner Bean, Plonker, BroadS
(putting himself about this evening and fresh from a PB 5K Promenade
Parkrun) Polyfella, Beefy, Manpig and the crazed Bat - yes, Oh Dearly
Frantic, we were Shirley frying tonight..
The
de rigueur silly sod loop took the longs around about, hereabouts and
thereabouts afore returning through the village and WHOA! hard a
starboard up Homeyards, botanical gardens bound - the lads going too
quickly to spot it and recalled by an observant Beefy. Now it was Game
On and the pace was still high Harry. Hitting the main road and seeing
the OH across the road it was spin a coin left or right until the hares
drove past up the hill!
Back
down to the Ness and golf course and the hares' wilful design became
clear - Yes Oh Dearly Alarmed, we were going to take on the Eiger
Sanction!
And
there it was, high above the Ness headland in all its savage glory -
only three tenths of a mile in length but a net ascent of some 250 feet -
the pain, the pain, the almost unbearable pain.. I cannot possibly tell
you the expletive uttered by BroadS as he hit the steepest section but
he was evidently well-impressed by the gradient grave..
Most
walked but a lone hasher - young Polyfella - kept on truckin' earning
the respect of 4 star FRB Runner Bean. And then after blessedly cresting
the summit, the Labrador bends beckoned. The Bat was in home territory
now and the climb to the road crossing was much easier. There was only
one way the trail could go from here - up to the Beacon and there
awaiting us was the SSSS manned by Slip on Me and Georgy P.
Neatly
set out on trays were hand-crafted milk, dark and white chocolate
covered strawberries - yet another TVH Simply Sensational Sweetie Stop,
well done Georgy!
The
FRBs didn't tarry long and the battle commenced as we gleefully
descended the mile long Better Flee Lane. No, NOT Butterfly Lane as the
maps would lead you to believe, Oh Dearly Name Corrupted as this was the
very lane that led from Fire Hill* to the grisly gibbet at Forches
Cross and not many people know that, Oh Dearly Educating Rita.
Hard
right at Forches Cross of old and more glorious rapido tuxedo descent
along the aptly named Long Lane for us to rush. The trail kept us
guessing and it was the five and a bit miles as promised by Piltdown -
though the trudge back up to the Ness CP was an unwelcome extra.
The
London Inn was packed out with eaters but we had the outside area to
ourselves and they had Proper Job which went down a treat.
Getting
my second Proper Job at the tiny bar and in came Archangel. 'I bet you
haven't done the trail!' quoth the Bat - but he had, Beacon and all! I
doff my Bat hat to you, Archangel.
WINFIELD'S WISDOM & DOWNDOWNS
An
‘energetic’ trail which lead us around the narrow streets of Shaldon
before taking the L/S on a testing climb with great views!! to Bundle Head then on-on up to the Trig point for a Strawberry stop!.
The "Awards" for the evening were presented to:-
POLYFELLA WHO KEPT ON RUNNING UP THOSE HILLS!
ABLE SEMEN WHO COMPLAINED "NOT THAT HILL!"
RUNNER BEAN FOR TRYING NOT TO WEAR THE BAT HAT, now has the Cow Hat!
MOUSEGRASS OUR VISITOR,WHO LIVES IN KATHMANDU.
* Ancient name for where the Beacon/trig point is now sited
Not
often do I have the luxury of a lift and long-suffering Bobby had to
wait for the four or so pints of Proper Job to be Bat-imbibed before the
second trudge back to the Panzer. A made to measure trail for the longs
and a splendid evening enjoyed by all, thank you, Piltdown and Georgy.
ON ON to next week and mark the NEW instructions carefully please: NOW near BRIDGE BETWEEN Trenchford & Tottiford Reservoirs os ref 50°37'52.9"N 3°40'57.6"W nearest code TQ13 9 OD. Bridford Inn Bridford (Deep Semen & Poacher)
Saturday 6 July 2019
Wednesday 3 July 2019
ALONG THE LONG LONG, A WONG WEI LONG* & A FIST OF STEEL
Run #1801 from the Carpenters Arms at Ilsingon with Bobby and Winfield
To the darkest depths of Ilsington we travelled for the trail of the unlikely pairing of Panzer Bobby and English knight Winfield - what would they have in store [sic] for us, we pondered... Rumours of macheted jungle and all terrain vehicles had spread like wildfire and we were prepared for anything that the Rottenführer could throw at us..
To the darkest depths of Ilsington we travelled for the trail of the unlikely pairing of Panzer Bobby and English knight Winfield - what would they have in store [sic] for us, we pondered... Rumours of macheted jungle and all terrain vehicles had spread like wildfire and we were prepared for anything that the Rottenführer could throw at us..
The circle roll call on a beautiful early summer's evening was forty one: Piltdown, Woof Woof, Beefy, Flasher, Winfield, Bobby, Teapot, GM Shitfaced, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Soapy & Melon Picker, Doris & Rambo, Pan Fart & Bush Baby and Wiki, 69, SatNav, 3Sum, Manpig, Forrest, Able, Fukarwi, WJ, Manopause (back from leg wound), Erection, Fallen Woman & Broken Man, Hagen Daz and Harry, Pork Torpedo & Hornie, Pisswell, Slip on Me, BB, BroadS, SM Ellie, Piddler, Wiggy and Archangel.
A newbie, Wiki (daughter of Pan Fart & Bush Baby) was presented and duly flour initiated by Teapot. Then the hares were summoned and the chaos Shirley began..
The G & T that Bobby had been regaled with post lay, courtesy of Broken Man and Fallen Woman's fully equipped camper, had Shirley further addled the tank commander's brain and he embarked upon a garbled explanation of the trail. 'I thought that the long was getting too long so I've marked a long long (LL) as well as the normal long, so if you don't want to go too long take the long and not the long long..' long sigh. At this point, Winfield was seen slowly edging away, hoping to disassociate himself from the impending travesty.
Never mind, Oh Dearly Resigned to Their Fate, and we were sent on our way into the Ilsington Twilight Zone and the mayhem materialised Mavis at the first check but twenty metres away. Scouts were sent up and down the hill and shouts of 'ON ON' were heard from both directions until Winfield directed the hapless hash down the rock strewn Simms Hill.
The G & T that Bobby had been regaled with post lay, courtesy of Broken Man and Fallen Woman's fully equipped camper, had Shirley further addled the tank commander's brain and he embarked upon a garbled explanation of the trail. 'I thought that the long was getting too long so I've marked a long long (LL) as well as the normal long, so if you don't want to go too long take the long and not the long long..' long sigh. At this point, Winfield was seen slowly edging away, hoping to disassociate himself from the impending travesty.
Never mind, Oh Dearly Resigned to Their Fate, and we were sent on our way into the Ilsington Twilight Zone and the mayhem materialised Mavis at the first check but twenty metres away. Scouts were sent up and down the hill and shouts of 'ON ON' were heard from both directions until Winfield directed the hapless hash down the rock strewn Simms Hill.
A scuffed mark seemed to direct us into a crop field and the cry 'Hard a port!' took several over the gate but Manopause decided that it didn't look promising and the crestfallen Bat was hauled back to be admonished by Forrest.
Spilling out onto the road and there was Bobby Woll's Panzer, blending in perfectly with the Higher Sigford bocage. Bobby, admiring his handiwork, shouted encouragement and direction to Manpig, who promptly veered the Wong Wei Long* and had to be recalled.
Just at this early stage, Woof Woof appeared, her progress being impeded somewhat by lack of a chatting companion. Determined not to be left trailing in her wake (again) the Bat ran alongside and unwittingly became the foil for Woof Woof's extended commentary.
From then on, the miles ticked by in a carousel of ever-changing terrain and scenic wonders never before seen by the hash. Only about two miles in and a little huddle of longs debated whether a faded mark was indeed the mythical LL - little realising that it was five metres away around the corner... sigh
The trail plunged downwards through woods, culminating with a nasty little drop - deliberately arranged by the wily Woll. Not too much of a problem for Beefy, Manpig or Woof Woof but the Bat didn't like the look of it one little bit. As if sensing his imminent doom, Beefy stepped forward and braced himself with steely fist outstretched to arrest the plummet of the fluttering Bat. Sav-ed for now..
Nettles invigorated, trailing brambles ripped bare flesh and the blood flowed, creating a true vampire bat. Yes, we were hashing, Oh Dearly Good To Be Alive..
Manpig kept me going and raised my spirits with an encouraging 'Why don't you die, you skinny b*****d!' That's what mates are for, Shirley.
Was that the SS where Bobby and parked Panzer were at the entrance to the farm? I was too wiped out to notice but I recall Beefy taking a group photo and Bobby saying we were nearly half-way, and off we went again, in search of more adventure. Woof Woof lamented at every arrow 'We want more checks!' but she Shirley meant me as she had glided serenely throughout, untroubled by the terrain.
Just at this early stage, Woof Woof appeared, her progress being impeded somewhat by lack of a chatting companion. Determined not to be left trailing in her wake (again) the Bat ran alongside and unwittingly became the foil for Woof Woof's extended commentary.
From then on, the miles ticked by in a carousel of ever-changing terrain and scenic wonders never before seen by the hash. Only about two miles in and a little huddle of longs debated whether a faded mark was indeed the mythical LL - little realising that it was five metres away around the corner... sigh
The trail plunged downwards through woods, culminating with a nasty little drop - deliberately arranged by the wily Woll. Not too much of a problem for Beefy, Manpig or Woof Woof but the Bat didn't like the look of it one little bit. As if sensing his imminent doom, Beefy stepped forward and braced himself with steely fist outstretched to arrest the plummet of the fluttering Bat. Sav-ed for now..
Nettles invigorated, trailing brambles ripped bare flesh and the blood flowed, creating a true vampire bat. Yes, we were hashing, Oh Dearly Good To Be Alive..
Manpig kept me going and raised my spirits with an encouraging 'Why don't you die, you skinny b*****d!' That's what mates are for, Shirley.
Was that the SS where Bobby and parked Panzer were at the entrance to the farm? I was too wiped out to notice but I recall Beefy taking a group photo and Bobby saying we were nearly half-way, and off we went again, in search of more adventure. Woof Woof lamented at every arrow 'We want more checks!' but she Shirley meant me as she had glided serenely throughout, untroubled by the terrain.
Round a corner and there was the Grand Master, complete with Moses staff leading his Parkies T Humper and I-Poo'd out of the wilderness to the Promised Land.
Over hill, dale, track and stream the long longs endured: Beefy taking plenty of action pics, Woof Woof chatting away, Flasher fresh from the Devon Orienteering Champs., Manpig on a charge and a bleedin' Bat with Fukarwi and Wet Johnny also long longing bringing up the rear - warriors all.
Under a fallen log and Hornie, Fallen Woman, SatNav and 3Sum appeared, Shirley we were nearing home but then, just as Woof Woof had noted, there was the sting in the trail [sic] - the final L/S split.
Over a stile, down through the woods and break hard for the Ilsington highway dead ahead and then the trail went Ice Cold In Alex, Oh Dearly Fallen At The Last Fence... and for the second time, the hash huddle convened to pool their accumulated wisdom, Winfield.
Many minutes later and even with WJ and Fukarwi contributing, no reasonable strategy could be decided upon, Yes, Oh Dearly The Clock Has Beaten Us, it was time to go to the pub and do what we do Courage Best.
Die-hards Beefy, Woof Woof ('I hate giving up') and Flasher continued (successfully in the end) to search for the mysterious missing marks. Manpig eventually found the last check and OH and after some eighty minutes of running and nigh on seven miles, we had finished. Well done Winfield and Bob**..
The Ernest Carpenter supping ale 3.8 abv slid down the throat easily and the hash grub at three sovs was value.
HARE COMMENTARY & DOWNDOWNS
Although Co-Hare Bobbiball had at the last moment changed the Long On-Home, forcing the pack on road instead of the great laid trail off road, this was a very testing scenic run up and down hills, through fields, Barley, woodlands over the old sliver mine workings, although none were spotted tonight!
Die-hards Beefy, Woof Woof ('I hate giving up') and Flasher continued (successfully in the end) to search for the mysterious missing marks. Manpig eventually found the last check and OH and after some eighty minutes of running and nigh on seven miles, we had finished. Well done Winfield and Bob**..
The Ernest Carpenter supping ale 3.8 abv slid down the throat easily and the hash grub at three sovs was value.
HARE COMMENTARY & DOWNDOWNS
Although Co-Hare Bobbiball had at the last moment changed the Long On-Home, forcing the pack on road instead of the great laid trail off road, this was a very testing scenic run up and down hills, through fields, Barley, woodlands over the old sliver mine workings, although none were spotted tonight!
Down Downs were awarded to the following offenders:-
SATNAV still not happy after complaining AGAIN that her latest Runs Badge is overdue!
FORREST this week... for losing his Awards polo shirt! and he's still not happy over this!
BOBBIBALL One for asking coyly if Forrest would like a Sweetie! is still thinking about his offer!
BOBIBALL again! for inventing a double LL long? route but two longs do not make it right!
* Hard to believe but Wong Wei Long is a Chinese Singaporean basketball player. Yes Weally, I mean really.
** Through clenched teeth!
It was quite a run over rare virgin territory and proved ultimately to be a Bobby and Winfield triumph. The long longs gave Archangel a run for his money for time on their feet and it was great to be able to nearly keep up with such strong running hashers and harriet.
ON ON to next week and the London Inn at Shaldon TQ14 0DN with Piltdown & Georgy P'Orgy
Wednesday 26 June 2019
TVH COMES OF AGE, THE STAFF OF MOSES & DIDN'T THE LADS DO WELL
RUN #1800 Monday 24th June Circle in Station Rd Car Park Bovey Tracey. OD The Dolphin Inn with Runner Bean & Co
And
they came to Bovey me luvvies, to be part of the fabric that is Teign
Valley HHH's history - our glorious 1800th run. Fate's fickle finger
had decided - most appropriately - that the Grammar lads would host the
party, the young bright future of a healthy and vibrant hash.
Let's get stuck in straight way to celebrate the Monster 7.9 mile Hash that the lads served up. Singalong with me now:
Let's get stuck in straight way to celebrate the Monster 7.9 mile Hash that the lads served up. Singalong with me now:
We did the hash
We did the monster hash,
The monster hash,
For two it was nearly a graveyard smash
We did the hash
It caught on in a flash..
It caught on in a flash..
Now back to the beginning of the saga Oh Dearly Agogified*..
Circle
recalled: Woof Woof, Alice (second run for TVH), Bobby, Wigwam,
Teapot, Winfield, GM Shitfaced, Piltdown, Georgy P, WJ, Erection, Hagen
Daz & Harry, Flasher, Plonker, Runner Bean, Ollie, Forrest - (no
G-string as she's got a puppy so no contest), Hornie & Pork
Torpedo, 69, Only Here, I-Poo'd, Slobbadog, Just Cummin, T Humper,
Manpig arriving in pose car of the lady wife, Beefy, Fukarwi, Able,
Doris & Rambo, Archangel, virgin Will (not at the circle, brought
along by Flasher), Polyfella, Coldtits, SM Ellie, BroadS, Wide Receiver,
BB, Soapy, Melon Picker, Zoot, Hotlips, Poacher, Slip on Me, Fishbait
& Small Fry, SatNav, 3Sum, Fallen Woman & Broken Man, Pan Fart
& Anita, Paraprick and Deep Semen. Fifty six I made it after
scanning the footage and a great evening we would have to remember for
this 'Coming of Age' by TVH!
The
glorious landmark was the moment that the Grand Master decided to
reveal his party piece [sic] upon an unsuspecting circle and impressive
it Shirley was, Oh Dearly Got Carried Away... mayhap inspired after a
viewing of Moses parting the Red Sea with staff raised, the GM proudly
paraded his hand hewn badge of office.
Zoot
was busy dispensing the 1800 run shirts and Wide Receiver, he of the
go faster haircut, was catching up with other hashers in his first
appearance this year, I think.
A
lucky guess secured the GM's bottle of Prosecco which was awarded to
Hornie at the Dolphin later. The Vice President interrupted
proceedings to show that there was indeed 'life in the old dog' yet
though his macho attentions were not appreciated that much by the
unfortunate recipient.
The
hare and assistants were huddled together making last minute
adjustments to their trail plan and Runner Bean announced a six and a
half (he didn't want to create a panic by revealing the true length)
mile long trail to stifled gasps from the gallery plus a four mile short
and a two mile walkers' trail. Three L/S splits AND a beer stop with
surprises, WHOA! The lads know how it's done - let's rock 'n' stroll...
and the 1800th party was underway.
It
was Piccadilly Circus as the longs met up with the local running group
going up the narrow lane at the start and we soon arrived at the make
your minds up junction veering up to the swimming pool and cricket
club. Ollie suddenly appeared and he seemed on a roll as we trustingly
followed. 'Why are we following him?' enquired Woof Woof. 'He's one of
the hares - well, a friend of one of the hares...' Down an unknown
bridlepath we plunged and it was going like a Clockwork Orange until
Ollie came charging back... sigh.
Then
the Long and Winding Road beckoned and the cream floated serenely to
the top.. Beefy and Wide FRBing**, Polyfella, Ollie and WJ close behind
and the rest of the hash strung out from Here to Eternity, Oh Dearly
Good To Be Alive. The shorts merged stage right with Winfield still on
cruise control, Melon Picker having a gogo on this auspicious evening,
69, 3Sum and Satnav a mere blur (trouble with the ol' mince pies) and
it was going so well, Wally.
Pausing
awhile to gather breath at the Haytor road crossroads (1.8 miles in)
Oh Dearly Have Shot Their Bolts Already and Woof Woof and young Alice
loomed large in the rear wing mirror. I will not report the words
spoken by the Bat when joined but he had cause to regret them soon
after... They were running very well though and disconcertingly
chatting away to each other all the time as Beefy confirmed later.
The
petrol gauge blinked red on the climb to Yarner Wood and the Bat began
to look for the exit - and we were only 2.4 miles in - it was Shirley
going to be a fight to get round and boy was I glad to see Fukarwi as
the lights began to dim.
Having
a running buddy really helps take your mind off the pain and though
still near the action - Ollie and Wide doing the checking, we were
eventually left far behind, Oh Dearly Deserted...
Leaving
the joy of the woods loop we embarked on the not so beautiful climb
back uphill from whence we had come and the rapidly becoming desperate
(Fukarwi fearing he was going to be late to pick up his son and the Bat
fearing he was going to fall over) duo hatched a survival plan: 'Let's
find the next signpost!' And there it was at the summit pointing to
Bovey and salvation down the hill and the trail true left towards the
golf club. Yes, it had to be done, Oh Dearly Bailing Out and gently
down to the town centre we coursed but we had missed what reportedly
was a brilliant BS and GS high up above Bovey. Never mind, we had
covered six miles which wasn't too bad and the Bat had lived to hash
another day.
The
Jail revived as we awaited the main body of the hash and we did have
the whole of the front room to ourselves. Bobby was intently studying a
map and was confident that he knew how to get to Ilsington for his and
Winfield's hash next week..
Soapy
had crafted a simply magnificent TVH 1800 cake for the occasion and it
tasted as good as it looked - take a bow Soapy, you Shirley deserve
it.
Forrest's
chat up line to Just Cummin as she asked to try on the Hawaiian jacket
cannot be reported here on this family show, though it was along the
lines of a song from the Rodgers & Hammerstein Musical Carousel***.
Ask Forrest next week, he'll be wearing it plus a natty shirt I've
heard...
Just remembered a couple of other things I missed out:
Biggest
cheer of the evening was for Archangel who arrived after the DDs - that
was a long time on your feet and also wasn't it great to see Rambo
stand up and say a few words to the hash. Yes, a brilliant evening.
DOWNDOWNS
A
great anniversary run with Hares Runner Bean & Co who had laid a
great choice of trails out and around Bovey along the footpaths lanes
fields and woodlands with a novelty sweet stop and plenty of cake and
cider to energise us.
Our 1800th Awards were presented to:
PILTDOWN MAN (Horsey horse face hat) for unicorn abuse at the Sweet Stop.
FORREST STUMP for "losing" the Pillock Shirt.
ONLY HERE FOR the BEER (Bat hat substituting for the Viking Horns hat) for not stopping to give Manpig a lift.
Anita now for ever to be known as BUSH BABY after falling in the bushes.
SATNAV a DD for her birthday
RUNNER BEAN (ceremonial Bat Hat) DD on behalf of his team for an excellent evening - thank you all!
* Not a dictionary entry but nevertheless in use.
** You know what I mean Shirley.
*** June is Bustin' Out All Over!
Well,
Oh Dearly Beloved, our 1800th hash lived up to expectations and more
thanks to the dedication and hard work of Runner Bean and company.
Didn't the lads do well!
Friday 21 June 2019
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