TVH3 Run No. 1891 22nd November 2021
VENUE: The Keyberry, Newton Abbot
HARES: Bobbiball and Dozy Parrot
ROLL CALL:
Bobbiball, Dozy Parrot, Forest-Stump, Arkangel, Warmfront, Wet-Johnny,
Man-Pig, Broadshit, Piltdown-Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Strap-On, Mrs
Strap-On, Tamsin, Triple Jump, Able Semen, Hot Lips, Zoot, Cheerio
Beerio, Beefy, Pisswell, Coldtits, Rambo (now driving himself!),
Roxanne, Mini-Penners (Harry & Mason? Roxanne to confirm ID),
Manopause, 69'er, Zen, Big-End, Well-Hopped, Satnav, Threesum, Wetfart,
Only here for the Beer, Piddler.
IN ABSENTIA: Bluebird (Mum poorly) and Shitfaced (hurt his wrist!)
THE CIRCLE
Brrrrrr.
Wasn't it cold on Monday night? Temperatures back to the November norms
so wasn't it nice to come back to a nice warm pub with roaring fire?
Lovely and snug!
Now,
on to the Circle. Announcements comprised Threesum plugging raffle
ticket sales with Able Semen actually undertaking the sales in the pub
afterwards. Man-Pig announced something about the Movember Foundation
for men's health but then deferred everything till next week due to
Bobbiball failing to bring the sponsorship form. Then it was over to the
Hares.
First
the excuses. "Bluebird was supposed to help me but he cried off at 1
o'clock. What could I do?" Well, he requisitioned Dozy Parrot to help
him, but it was getting dark by the time they finished so it was not as
long as planned; about three and a half miles and no Long/Short splits.
Everyone would do the same trail but, if you fancied a walk, just follow
Bobbi and Dozy Parrot. "Whatever you do, do not run through a cross or
you will be on the return trail and you'll be back in the pub before you
know it. Go around the lake again." Bobbi mentioned something about the
trail having been laid in both flour and sawdust. Bobbi then finished
his spiel with those immortal and reassuring words, "Good luck"
.
THE TRAIL
Chilly
hashers warmed up slowly by cantering across the road from the Keyberry
to pick up the first marks. After two lampposts, it was left down a
ginnel and onto the edge of Decoy Country Park playing fields. We
skirted around the playing fields till we came upon the first check. We
entered into Decoy woods (actually called Blackball Plantation) with
Warmfront in pole position and calling "On-On". A meander through the
woods/plantation and we were out on a track on the other side of the
woods. An ideal place for a check but there was none.....or was there?
If
you peered very hard, you could just see some flour under a pile of
leaves. This was not as a result of hash sabotage. It had been a dry and
blustery day and in the 3 hours since the trail had been laid the wind
has simply blown the dry leaves over the check.
To
our right was a track that would have taken us up to Coach Road.
Wet-Johnny and Pisswell had checked this out, but no marks. Warmfront
had checked directly ahead and had come back after finding only two
marks. Wait a minute, didn't Bobbiball say something about "Two and On"?
On-On it was.
We
exited Blackball Plantation and commenced the ascent up the edge of
Decoy Brake before hitting tarmac above Abbotskerswell. Would we go
right towards the cemetery or left towards Abbotskerswell?
The
arrows don't lie and an arrow in flour had us heading towards
Abbotskerswell. Torchlight ahead of me - Warmfront and Beefy. Torchlight
behind me - Big End. Initially we were on the level, but after 300
yards we commenced a steep decline into Abbotskerswell and, another
arrow. What goes down must Shirley go up? And so we did.
A
sharp left and uphill towards Abbotskerswell Priory. Just as we
levelled off, a large arrow, about four yards to our left, took us onto a
well hashed public footpath across fields that once belonged to Priory
Farm. However, despite being well hashed territory, the dark left some
hashers disorientated.
Beefy
was just behind us as we ascended away from Abbotskerswell but as we
turned left and traversed the first of three fields on our way back to
Blackball Plantation, we could see reflections of torchlight on the road
above us. Beefy had missed the arrow and was now continuing towards the
Priory. But Beefy was not the only one to miss the arrow. Roxanne and
the mini-penners also carried on past the Priory, down Priory Road,
until they joined the Kingskerswell Road and bumped into Beefy coming
the other way.
Roxanne
and co. thought that they were on Coach Road in Newton Abbot. Once it
was established that they were, in fact, half way between the pub and
Kingskerswell, they decided to stay on the Kingskerswell Road and make a
beeline for the pub. As for Beefy, I know nothing. The next we saw of
Beefy was in the pub. Did you make it back on trail Beefy?
Back
in the fields just below Hennaborough, Warmfront and Big End were
getting a move on and leaving the Pig for dead. Re-entering Blackball
Plantation, I thought that it would be a simple trail down the broad
track that would hit Kingskerswell Road 200 yards south of the pub.
Wrong. Another arrow directing us northwest up the edge of the
plantation. I could hear Warmfront calling, but no sign of torchlight in
the woods.
The
trail led up and then arced right in a large loop to rejoin the broad
track. Bugger! I should have kept going and saved myself a half-mile
loop. Nonetheless, the marks were very good. I could not hear any
calling so I assumed that Warmfront and Big-End were already back at the
pub....and so they were.
A
nice little run that many commented was well laid and they enjoyed
running it. There you go Bobbi.....no need to have worried. Thankyou
Hares.
THE DOWN-DOWNS
Forrest
Stump assumed the RA'ing duty for the evening. The pub was an
incredibly comforting environment with its lovely open fire after the
first cold run of autumn. Just as welcoming was the sausage and chips
put on by the pub for a very Hash friendly £3 a head.
Forrest
commenced the Down-Downs by calling on Smellie to come up and name and
shame. She recounted some very ungentlemanly behaviour from one our most
innocuous and polite Hashers, Wet-Johnny! Not far into the trail a
speeding Wet-Johnny had cut across in front of Smellie tripping her up.
What a cowardly act. Regrettably, Wet-Johnny had already headed home so
Smellie awarded the Jester's hat to Roxanne for his red light.
The
second Down-Down was not accompanied by a physical award....just a
story. Forrest recounted a tale about a big yellow Lorry (is that a
Susan Vega song?) and a very small parking space. After several
attempts, the lorry moved a further 20 yards down the road and parked in
a huge space on the side of the road. Accordingly, a Down-Down to
Pisswell for "Perfect Parking".
Arkangel
mentioned something about someone leaping out of the bushes and
smacking Forrest in the face causing him to fall.........or did he just
fall over without any assistance from anyone else? Who knows? I don't
think a Down-Down was actually awarded for this misdemeanour.
Forrest
was wearing the Hashshit shirt and was looking for suitable recipients.
Prior to the Down-Downs we were chatting with Cheerio Beerio and asking
if she was enjoying hashing. "Oh yes", was the reply. "I am even going
to buy some hash haberdashery". We wished we hadn't asked. For the next
20 minutes, Cheerio happily waded through Zoot's haberdashery catalogue.
"Do you like that one? What colour shall I have? Long sleeve or short
sleeve? Technical or cotton?". It went on for ages.
However, there was a
fly in the ointment. When asking about long sleeve or short sleeve it
was noted that she was looking at the Hats' page! Despite encouragement,
and even a vote from the floor to remove her top/bottom before donning
the Hashshit shirt, we saw nothing more revealing than a smile.
Finally,
a Down-Down for each of the Hares and a thank you to the pub for their
hospitality and the beer. I was truly sorry to see that there was only
one local in the pub when the Hash arrived. The hospitality industry has
had a torrid time over the past 18 months. I hope that the Keyberry's
trade picks up later in the week, many pubs don't even open on a Monday
these days. The pub looked after us very well. We must use it again
sometime.
On-On
to next week and the Highweek Inn, Highweek, Newton Abbot. Hare Only
here for the Beer.....expect a long one - no, not the trail - a long
time in the pub!